#invalidation

When people order you to feel differently

“You need to get over it.”

Telling you how you should feel

“You really shouldn’t let this bother you” “You should feel thankful that…”

When people minimize your feelings

“It’s not that bad.” “You’re being over dramatic”.

Attempting to use “logic” to invalidate you

“Let’s stick with the facts” “There’s no reason to be upset…”

Passing judgement and putting labels on you

“You’re too sensitive.”

Making it your problem/isolating you

“No one else feels this way” “It’s not bothering anyone but you”

Trying to make you feel guilty

“I was only trying to help you…” “You’re bringing everyone else down with your feelings”

None of these things are okay. And while the person saying/doing these things may not intend to be emotionally abusive, that doesn’t change the effects these words have.

(I do want to say that the “using logic” may be okay depending on your relationship. My best friend and I both have BPD, and we often go to each other for a “reality check” to help us figure out if our feelings fit the facts. But the way we word it matters too. And when I do it for her or myself, it isn’t to invalidate but to help sort through the feelings.)

Your feelings are valid. Even if they don’t “make sense”. You deserve the space to feel them. While you should be mindful of how you handle them, you aren’t wrong for having them.

You're too sensitive,

it's not too loud,

it's not too bright,

it's not overwhelming,

you're just overreacting,

it doesn't smell weird,

the texture is fine,

just eat it,

just wear it,

plans change get over it,

stop being so dramatic,

why are you so argumentative?

I was obviously joking,

why do you take everything so seriously?

I'm not yelling,

It's not a big deal,

stop nitpicking,

stop jiggling/rocking,

stop fidgeting,

stop humming/whistling/clicking,

stop talking about that,

no one cares,

you're annoying people,

you're so high strung,

just relax,

stop worrying,

stop overthinking,

just be normal

and then people act all surprised that you grow up to be an insecure, indecisive wreck. What else did you expect me to be when you spent my whole life teaching me my own perception was faulty and couldn't be trusted?

give me a nonhuman/monster/body modified (or overall tough looking) whumpee but when they’re freed from whumper or a harmful environment, people don’t believe or downplay whumpees trauma because they don’t “look the part.”

whumpee with sharp claws or fangs asked why they didnt scratch/bite enough, one thats notebly bigger than whumper being doubted or blamed, the list could go on.

they never asked to be this way or be put in that situation, and now all they think about is how it couldve been prevented. do they accept the blame? learn how to laugh along? or end up withdrawing from it all?

Are you accidentally emotionally invalidating people you care about? (If purposefully you’re t r a s h)

Are you being invalidated??

Protect yourself/grow into the best version of you by understanding this shit, people.

No?

Please, please, please I promise you they are wrong. They are wrong by definition because whatever the condition is you have it, and you need no justification to act like it exists.

You are not wrong, you are not less, you are not fake, you are not invalid. You are not lazy, bad, broken or any of the things they called you in a vain effort to make you like them.

And you're not like them, in so many more important ways than merely the difference in your health. You're you.