I suspect this sort of attitude comes from the idea (whether subconscious or not) that having sysmates is bad, and thus having more sysmates = even worse. This is not true. You are not a bad person or system just because you got some new members. You are not necessarily "unhealthy" or "sick" just for getting someone new, or because you're a large system (and even if it did mean that, "unhealthy" does not mean "immoral" or "should hate themselves"). Sometimes there can be problems involved with gaining new sysmates! This is true! But what isn't true is the underlying sentiment that being "very" plural is bad, or that a system growing in member count is this horrible, awful thing. Throw out your internalized pluralphobia. I repeat: throw out your internalized pluralphobia. It's completely and totally fine to gain new system members, and it's completely and totally fine to be a large system. This attitude does nothing but reinforce the idea that being plural – or at the very least, having perfectly natural and normal plural experiences – are inherently wrong and must be avoided at all costs (and when they can't be, they must be complained about so everyone knows they're bad; that it's bad to be plural and have plural experiences).

Also, on a related note – these kinds of sentiments can very easily cause those new system members to feel like they're the problem. Please, if you're the type to get frustrated or annoyed when you get new members for whatever reason, let them know it's not their fault. Don't make them feel like a chore or a mistake or anything else negative. Don't leave those thoughts to fester. Don't cause a rift in your system just because you wanted to join in with the common system joke of hating to get new sysmates. Again, you don't have to suddenly stop being frustrated with the problems that increasing in member count may cause, but do not take that frustration out on your new members, and do not make them feel like a problem. Give them some room to figure themselves out, and show them support as they learn and grow into themselves. Have a talk with them, if you can. It's not their fault that their entrance into your system interrupted your tempo. You can find a new balance together.

(And, btw, that bit about causing others to feel like they're a problem also goes for the implications of your words towards large systems. It feels very estranging and uncomfortable to see so many folks complaining about getting new headmates and implying that it would be wrong of them to not do everything in their power to make sure they don't get any new introjects when we're a polyfragmented system who grows at the drop of a hat. I'm sure We're not the only large system who feels this way, either. Your jokes aren't made in a vacuum; other systems can see them.)

I am making an executive decision here to welcome each and every one of my new selves. I am annoyed to all hell and back with our amnesia and executive function problems keeping us from getting caught up on member profiles, but that's not the fault of anyone who moves in, and I'm not going to wallow in anguish over how our system operates and its tendency to throw new selves at us at the drop of a hat. I'm not going to beat myselves up when there's no good reason to. That's just doing my DID's work for it.

I'm much more interested in what we have in common and how we can help each other out than in trying to set up strict boundaries between our communities and pretending everyone and every experience can be neatly sorted into one or the other. Judging others in this way is not only incredibly unproductive, it completely ignores and erases the overlap and shared experiences we have. Being similar to psychotic folk is not a bad thing. Having similar experiences to psychotic folk is not a bad thing. I refuse to be insulted by the accusation that my experiences are too similar to that of a community that has been nothing but kind to me.

What are my hobbies? Depends on the alter, but most of us enjoy doing things together or discussing our plurality; playing video games involves talking to each other, watching YouTube videos involves talking to each other, cooking involves talking to each other, etcetera. Every hobby you could conceive of is accompanied by internal commentary and discussion, to say nothing of how talkative we can get when we learn something new about our plurality. Whether we choose to tell you about it or not is a separate matter. And again, what hobbies we engage in depend on who is fronting – not all of us play video games, not all of us watch YouTube videos, not all of us cook beyond the basics needed to not starve. (And some of us can't cook at all!)

What do I do for work? Well, a couple different things. We do joint retail and restaurant work – don't ask me how that works, I'm not the one who fronts for that job. Seriously, if anyone else switches in during a shift, Silver bats them out of front in an instant, haha. We also work in childcare – what? No, I barely remember the names and ages of the children we look after. Other headmates in my system have that covered. But we're all pretty good at writing and editing save for those who especially struggle with language, so I can tell you about this upcoming book series we've been brought on to help with! It's alright, but occasionally the plot holes had us ranting at each other... What? I just told you we talk to each other about everything, of course we're going to talk to each other about – you know what, forget it. We're trying to focus on school anyway. Do you want to hear about our extensive note-taking system? We devised it to account for our memory issues!

What's my favorite color? Orange! ... Or, well, that's what we've decided is our collective answer. It actually depends on who in this system you're asking. Are you asking us collectively, or –

Hey! Don't get mad at me! You're the one who asked!

A pluriship, sometimes spelled (perhaps mistakenly so) as plurship, is a term for a relationship between system members – namely, a relationship that is affected or shaped by how those in it are part of the same system. Exactly how the relationship is shaped by this factor will vary – it's a vague term in that way, much the same way "queerplatonic" is vague and up to those within the relationship to define the specifics of it – but pretty much all would agree that pluriships have something that sets them apart when compared to relationships with those outside the system. Pluri- can also be used as a prefix for other types of relationship to be more specific, such as plurifamilial (a familial relationship that is uniquely affected by how those in it are part of the same system).

Pluriships can come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes a relationship is a pluriship due to sharing emotions and memories. Sometimes a relationship is a pluriship due to the complex vulnerability and trust between system members. It's really up to those within the relationship to decide what makes their pluriship a pluriship – assuming they care to define those parts of their relationship at all.

Relationships between system members can be complicated, and this term allows for acknowledgement of that as well as the unique relationships system members can have with each other precisely due to being system members. We use it – or at least the idea of it – for a good amount of our own internal relationships, and it used to be a much more common term to see around. With how the system community has grown and changed over the past few years, I figured a lot of systems newer to the scene might appreciate the tip that they're not alone in having system relationships that are unique in this way, and that there's an entire term out there to describe it.

[PT: System Ramble: reading, internal voices, and our brain's continuous attempts to understand the world around us / end PT]

I'll probably have to expand on this at some other point because it ties into how we feel our plurality is a fundamental part of how we process the world (and that deserves its own essay), but there's something interesting that happens when we read that has to do with our system.

Have you ever seen those posts that talk about "the little voice in your head" that you get whenever you read something? A lot of people are able to hear the words they read being "spoken" in their head as they read them. A lot describe the voice reading "out loud" in their brain as either being their own voice or some detached voice without anything more to it, but for us...

... it's closer to one of us reading out loud to the rest of us.

Here is the link to their events page!

Here is the link to their airmeet page about this event specifically!

Here is the link to sign up for the event!

Here is the link to scholarships/vouchers for the event if you need one!

And since I got some questions about it last time, this is how signing up works:

You select a price for the ticket (add the scholarship here if you're using it)

Then you continue to the next page and fill out the information needed (note that if you go back to apply the ticket now, it will erase what you've filled out, so make sure you applied that scholarship before you write out anything!)

Once you're finished, you'll get an email with your ticket

By scrolling down the email, you'll see a link to enter the event. Right now, that link just takes you to the main page for the event, and asks if you want to set a reminder on your schedule for it.

When the event starts, just use that link to go to the page and welcome yourself into the event!