#evilthatjustdoesnotexist

Rules: Hit shuffle on your music, write down the first 10 songs that come on, and then write down your favourite lyrics from each song.  Then tag 10 people!

1. Love Yourself - Justin Bieber

Cause if you like, the way You look that much Oh baby you should go  and love yourself

2. Overjoyed - Bastille

You lean towards despair Any given opportunity you're there But what is there to gain? When you're always falling off the fence that way

3. The Rhythm of Night - Vinyl Theatre

With the rhythm of night In the city of lights We dance to show We still can glow 

4. Perfect Score - State Champs

Always the first to make amends Try to find that perfect score The city's not the best place for me But I keep coming back for more

5. Cough It Out - The Front Bottoms

Whatever I did for you last year I cannot do again It’s getting harder and harder and harder and harder for me to call you friend No matter how many times I say I won’t ill defend you if I can But whatever I did for you last year I cannot do again

6. Runnin’ (Interlude) - Kehlani

Does it make you nervous I'm not afraid to say what I want? Does it put fear into your heart that I know where I started Far from where I begun? Cause I know every man has a fear of a strong-minded woman But I say she's a keeper if she got it on her own and keeps it runnin'

7. Believe - Mumford & Sons

So open up my eyes Tell me I'm alive This is never gonna go our way If I'm gonna have to guess what's on your mind

8. Suddden Death in Carolina - Brand New

View of a stone white ceiling and the back of your head In this quiet, dark bed felt like the middle of nowhere We beat each other up just like we always do When I'm talking to myself I'd always rather be talking with you

9. The Quiet - Troye Sivan

And I don't wanna walk away But you left me no choice Only talking to myself here Now you've muffled your voice I'd rather have broken bones Than feel myself turn to stone

10. Ribs - Lorde

This dream isn't feeling sweet We're reeling through the midnight streets And I've never felt more alone It feels so scary, getting old

Rules (that I will not follow because I’m a rebel):

• Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you and give 11 questions for the blogs you tag. • Tag 11 people. (but let’s face it no one follows that part)

1. If you could require everyone in the world read one book, what would it be?

“american born chinese” by gene luen yang

holy shit what an amazing comic book memoir like wow wOW

i read parts of it in barnes & noble one day

and i had to hold in tears bc FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTOOD ME AND HOW I FELT

good god i went home and bought a used copy immediately

its so perfect and just yes okay YES

this book means everything to me

2. Who has been the most influential person in your life thus far?

i mean technically my parents, right?

but also idk

college and tumblr?

which kinda shows the crappiness of the education system if i learned so much from a damn social media site

i know this says “person” but i cant really pinpoint a certain influential person

harry potter? v from v for vendetta?

no wait i know!!!

my sociology professor/mentor from undergrad

she da bomb and the reason why i love sociology and also the reason why i’m even in grad school right now

like i had 2 profs who helped me get into sociology but nah this prof really made me love sociology yo

3. What is one thing you wish you could tell your younger self?

*hagrid voice* "yer a flamin’ bisexual, ‘arry! i gots yer acceptance letter into the queer-zarding world!”

*pulls out smushed cake that says “happee gayday!”*

4. If you could receive advice from your older self, would you want to know it?

YES. Dear older!me, please give present!me some reassurance. Tell me how to do life. What do I do. What am I doing. When do things get less confusing and frightening. TELL ME WHAT I’M IN FOR, ME.

5. Favorite childhood memory?

video games i guess???

like my childhood was mostly comprised of nintendo 64 and game boy

sometimes i went outside and played with the neighbor’s dog snowball or climbed a tree

but video games was an overarching, ever-present thing

idk if i have a favorite childhood memory

6. Something that never fails to make you angry?

the ex-president of the student organization where i was the VP

just hearing her voice made my blood boil

hearing her name annoys me

73% sure she saw me during graduation and i purposely did not look at her

friend invited her to a bday party and i was like “nope sorry cant go if she’s going”

i would love to just scream in her face until i pass out

7. What is the thing that you can always go to if you are having a bad day to feel better?

lilo and stitch is my go-to sadness remedy

actually it just hits me in the feels but it somehow makes me feel better after the whole “OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND” ordeal

8. What was your worst fear as a child?

loud noises

like fireworks, movie theatres, vacuums, those high powered flushing toilets, hand dryers, stuff like that

at some point i sorta kinda not 100% “got over it”

9. What about now?

spiders

life

future

existence after death

failure

the unknown

10. What do you think a younger version of you would think about you now?

younger me would be thrown off by the fact i’m a lot gayer, more liberal, way more feminist, and still doing nothing with my life. younger me would be completely unsurprised by my continually expanding video game/book/dvd collection

young me: omg ur gay

me: listen here ya lil shit we’re bi and probs non-binary start educatin yo self

young me: what do you mean this school sucks

me: u gonna have 2 forever friends from school and their names are virginia and sarah and thats it ur gonna be sad graduating but then you’ll realize all the shit u went thru and be glad ur out mkay

young me: u look like a boy

me: and ur gonna realize that shaving yo head was the best thing ever so just u wait punk

young me: religion????

me: theres a thing u do in 9th grade and it’ll be really dumb but also a good learning experience and things will be super confusing but then ur like “fuck dis” and its not until college will u realize things

young me: video games! books! manga! anime! movies!

me: yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes

young me: what--

me: shhhhhh just wait life is gonna be so much better even tho things kinda suck at the same time and it’ll be confusing but ur gonna be ok

11. How was your day?

i survived

after getting lost in 3 wrong buildings

then asking 5 different people where the fuck i was and how do i get to the building where my class was

then i felt super awkward in class bc most of them knew each other and i suck at small talk

then we watched a pretty good/interesting documentary called middle sex

then i was like “maybe i should stay and chat” but then i was like yeah nope outtie

so it was a rollercoaster of confusion and terror

also i saw a tiny ladybug WHICH WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY

A LADYBUG!!!

ONE SO TINY I COULDNT GET MY STUPID IPOD TO FOCUS PROPERLY

BECAUSE IT WAS SO CUTE AND TINY

ITS JUST A BLURRY RED BLOB IN THE PICTURE

BUT ITS WONDERFUL I LOVE IT I HOPE ITS DOING OKAY

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Six Things I’m Currently in Love With Enjoying

One Song: These days I keep going back to “All I Gave Her” by Julia Weldon

Two Movies: Balto and Nosferatu. I bought Balto on DVD recently, and wow that movie was a major part of my childhood. I have it on VHS, and I also have Balto 2 on DVD. WHAT A GREAT MOVIE OKAY. Nosferatu, I watched a couple weeks ago, and it was fantastic. I wasn’t sure if I’d like it because it was a silent film, but I thought it was awesome and I was home alone so I would just dramatically read the on-screen text it was loads of fun.

Three Shows: Parks and Recreation. Bob’s Burgers. Xena: Warrior Princess. I’ve gone through Parks twice. I’m rewatching Bob’s. I’m very slowly working through Xena.

Four People: *makes “i don’t know” noise* Leslie Knope. April Ludgate. Louise Belcher. Tina Belcher. These four are like different parts of my soul that sometimes manifest at various times. All are perfect.

Five Foods: Pepperoni pizza (i want pizza now). Vietnamese food (omg the place here is so damn delicious). Boba tea (expensive-ish but so yummy for unknown reasons). Blueberries (just bought some and i’m excited to eat em). Scooby Snacks (i’m actually a child and love the fact scooby snacks exist).