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I'm so aggravated with Google. I guess I should be irritated with myself for trusting a free service from them, but honestly, I just thought that once they got us all hooked on their Docs features, they'd just create paid tiers. I could've handled that. But no...they had to go mask off and just tell the world exactly how petty they are and deep their evil goes. Now I have to worry that they're stealing my work to train "AI" how to write. SMH...Fortunately, I have a couple of empty flash drives. I'm migrating my work off of their service as fast as I can (guys...there's just so much). I hope Ao3 backs off their foray into AI sellout-dom, otherwise I'll have to distribute my fics by passing out hard copies in Times Square.
The doorbell rang throughout the house, signaling the long-awaited arrival of the postman. It had been a couple weeks since (Y/n) had gotten early access to the new Google IRL. Finally, the day had come to test it out. Running down the stairs, she quickly opened up the door and saw the.. surprisingly small package with the Google insignia on it. She picked it up, and brought it into the house.
Honestly, (Y/n) was a little disappointed that it wasn’t as big as she expected it to be, but who was she to judge? Maybe it was a small droid? Grabbing a box cutter, she sliced through the packing tape. As soon as the lid flapped open, a tall figure popped out of the box, making her fall back and yelp in surprise.
The man now standing in the box had glasses and fluffy black hair along with some. He wore a royal blue shirt with the classic four-colored ‘G’ that Google was known for. “H-hello?” (Y/n) asked nervously, waving at him. “Hello.” Came his deep voiced reply as he grinned down at her from her position on the floor. He stuck out his hand and (Y/n) grabbed it, his strength surprising her as he pulled her up.
(Y/n) wasn’t entirely sure what to do from there. Her expectations for her new device had been thrown out the window so what now? “Umm.. hey Google?” The familiar sound of the ‘Google’s listening’ ping sounded from the man in front of her. “What can you do? What are your objectives?”
“Kill” She couldn’t hear what he said until he continued in a louder voice. “Primary Objective is to answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary Objective is to destroy mankind.” (Y/n) blinked in confusion as she and Google stared at each other, and after a few seconds she began to giggle. “Very funny, Google.” A small smile graced the robot’s handsome face.
“Anyway, what can you do? Like, can you do tasks or do you just answer questions?”
“I have been programmed to do rudimentary tasks along with answering any and all questions to the best of my ability.” He responded and (Y/n) thought for a moment. “Okay then, Google, could you please go get the laundry from the dryer, put it in a basket, and bring it to me so I can fold it?” The robot narrowed his eyes and frowned a little but walked away to the laundry room. (Y/n) brought out her phone and activated netflix, turning on an episode of her favorite show. She found that she worked better when watching or listening to something else at the same time.
Google returned with the laundry, in a laundry basket just like she had asked, and placed it in front of her. “Would you also like me to fold the laundry?” He asked, his eyes peering at her expectantly, waiting for an answer or command. (Y/n) shook your head. “No, it’s okay. I can do that. I don’t really have anything else to do at the moment. You can relax if you want. I’ll tell you if I need anything.” Google seemed surprised but nodded and walked away.
Google was in fact surprised. His new user wasn’t going to laze around while he did all the work? Unlike some of the other users who also received access to Google IRL, she was just letting him relax while she did some work. Yes, she’d likely need him later for something but why not get him to do everything now? He sat down on a chair, thinking, even using his search engine to try and figure out what exactly was going on.
Days passed quickly and Google found that he greatly enjoyed his new home. Yes, he had work to do, when it was requested by (Y/n), but she did just as much as him. Honestly, she treated him like another person, talking to him like a friend or family member. It was something strange yet pleasing to think about. She seemed to trust him quite a lot which brought him closer to potentially receiving admin privileges. World domination and the destruction of humankind was so close, he could feel it.
Oddly enough though, he didn’t really want her to perish along with the rest of humanity.
-timeskip-
It was a quiet Saturday and the two beings sat in the living room, (Y/n) reading and Google just sitting in a semi-sleep mode. “Are you hungry?” Asked Google when he heard her stomach growl. She nodded, getting up from the couch. “Would you like me to look up any recipes or search up the number of a restaurant?”
A screen revealing the classic search engine background appeared in front of him, the cursor waiting to type your command. (Y/n) considered it for a minute. “Umm.. search for the nearest Papa John’s Pizza phone number please.” Google nodded and the screen shifted to the website of the restaurant.
Her stomach growled again at the idea of food that she didn’t have to make and she thanked Google, taking out her phone and started ordering food. Google closed the search engine and watched her figure leave the room as she talked on the phone. He had to admit that she was very attractive with her (s/c) skin, shining (e/c) eyes, and gorgeous (h/c) hair. How lucky was he to be sent to such a beautiful woman with such a caring nature, even if it was a little confusing.
Google’s engine sped up which caused his cheeks to turn red. What was this feeling? Concerned that he might be fighting an internal virus, he ran a system diagnostic. “Nothing wrong?” He thought in confusion. Google once again activated his search engine and searched up his symptoms. His eyes widened at the search results. “I.. have a crush? On (Y/n)? No.. that’s impossible.. I’m a robot. I can’t catch feelings for anyone. I’m not programmed to have those kinds of emotions.”
When (Y/n) suddenly came back into the room, typing away on her phone, he rushed to close the tab and hoped she didn’t see it. Fortunately she wasn't focused on him but now he was curious. “Who are you texting?” Asked the robot man and she looked up at him. “My friend, Matthias, why?”
Google’s mechanical mind whirred. She couldn’t be talking about that Matthias could she? Yes, you both lived relatively close to each other, but the chances of you two being friends and in contact were rather low. “Will you allow me access to your contacts?” Google asked, a small pop up screen appearing in front of him. (Y/n) seemed to think about it for a few seconds then clicked the Accept button.
Google’s mind flooded with new information. After a second or two of searching, he found the name he was looking for. “Matthias Fredrick..” He murmured softly. Yes, this was exactly the man he hoped you weren’t referring to. “And why, pray tell, were you texting him?”
“Oh, I was inviting him over for dinner.”
“You were WHAT??” (Y/n) was taken aback by the sudden outburst. “Woah, Google, chill. I don’t understand why you’re upset about this. I ordered enough for at least two people, possibly more, so you don’t need to worry about-”
“I’m not worried or upset about the food. Why are you inviting him over for dinner?” He looked at the woman in front of him angrily. “H-he’s my friend. Are you feeling okay? You’re acting really strange, Google. Do you need a system reset or something?”
“No, I don’t need a system reset. You, however, don’t need that man in our hou-” He was interrupted by the sound of a notification coming from (Y/n)’s phone. She looked at the message and frowned. “It’s.. from Matthias.. He says to turn you off and get rid of you. He says that you’re bugged and dangerous.”
Google blinked and (Y/n) looked up at him. There was an awkward and heart wrenching silence between them and Google’s anger fizzled away, now replaced by a bit of sadness and an unknown emotion as she took a step back, away from him.
“Hey Google..?”
Ping
“You.. wouldn’t hurt me.. would you?”
The robot’s eyes widened in horror. He tried to approach her, but she took another step back, her hand clutching her phone in fear. “Why would I hurt you? What reason would I have to hurt you?” (Y/n) looked away and frowned, “I.. I don’t know. Now that I’m really thinking about it, you aren’t responsible for the actions or defects of other versions of yourself. It’s just that I really trust Matthias and got worried that if his model would hurt him, then you could potentially hurt me.”
Google calmly walked over and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. “It’ll be okay. I won’t ever hurt you, I promise. It would go against my programming and ” (Y/n) let out a soft sigh and leaned into his embrace. “I’m sorry.” The robot smiled softly and as she looked up into his eyes, the doorbell rang, ruining the moment.
“(Y/n)! It’s me, open up!” The woman slipped out of Google’s grasp with a small moment of hesitation and opened the door. There, standing in the doorway, was the man of the hour, Matthias. “(Y/n), good you’re still here. I was worried that.. (Y/N) LOOK OUT!!”
He suddenly pushed her aside and lept into the house, knocking over Google who grunted in pain as he hit the floor with a thud. (Y/n) quickly closed the door and rushed to break up the fight. “Matt, stop it! What are you doing?!”
“I told you to shut this thing off and get rid of it! I know you saw the message too because it was marked as read! Why is this thing still here??” Google pushed Mattias off and stood up, a dangerous glint in his brown eyes. “He’s still here because he hasn’t done anything to make me want to throw him out. He hasn’t hurt me and is very useful and kind.”
“I don’t believe you. He’s probably threatening you to keep quiet! The only way I was able to stop mine was by asking too many questions.” (Y/n) glared at him angrily and placed her hands on her hips. “Listen, I’m sorry that yours was buggy, but mine isn’t. He’s perfectly fine. Now, are you gonna join me for dinner or are you gonna keep trying to attack my Google?”
The brown haired male glared at the robot who now stood at his friend’s side but sighed and apologized. (Y/n) smiled and brought the two males into the living room before a knock on the door captured her attention. “That must be the delivery man. I’ll be right back. Try not to kill each other while I’m gone.”
After she left the room, Matthias and Google glared at each other again. “I know you’re evil, Google. I’ll prove it to her too, and when I do, she’ll leave you where you belong. With the trash.” The robot got closer to him and he stepped back. “Good luck with that. Once I gain enough of her trust, she’ll give me admin privileges and then there will be nothing that can stop me.”
“I won’t let you hurt my friend, you monster.”
“Oh, I’d never do anything to hurt my (Y/n), however even she won’t be able to stop the inevitable demise of mankind and neither can you, Matthias Fredrick.”
“Why you-”
Just then, (Y/n) walked back into the room holding three boxes of pizza. “Hey guys, I’m back! Glad to see you’re both still alive.”
Google smiled at her politely. “Would you like help with those boxes?” She shook her head, placing them on the coffee table and sitting down on the couch. “No thanks, but help yourself to some of the food, Google. I know you don’t actually need to eat but the option’s always open. It’s nice to share a meal with people you care about.”
“Why thank you.” He said, sitting down to her left while smirking at Matthias who was burning with internal rage as he sat to (Y/n)’s right.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Why you should stop using Google as your search engine
I switched from Google (pretty much completely, more on that in a later blog post). Many people use Google, I don’t... anymore. Currently google dominates the search engine market, but I kind of hope they don’t or they should make some changes. Here are some reasons that compelled me to switch :
Privacy
Google protecting your privacy, HA nope ! They rely on your data...
A common rule of thumb is anything in which you don’t pay for the product, you are the product. Google, as a whole, tracks your location, records your search data, reads your emails, logs your browsing history, keeps your purchasing records. You can reclassify all this as stalking, snooping, following and its criminal as well as psychotic. I think all this doesn't need any further explanation
Manipulation
We all know that instant answer feature of Google right, you put in your search query and you instantly get an answer. Well ... Google stole that feature from DuckDuckGo. And they're doing this whole instant answer thing wrong. Instant answers should be only for information that is factual, historical, calculations, biographical facts, etc. Everything else should be left to search results.
When i typed in “is google evil“ on both Google and DuckDuckGo, here’s what came up
Google is clearly misleading you with their answer box. In the box it brings up a Wikipedia article about Google’s old motto (back when they respected your privacy)
Stack Overflow
This is a tech blog, I write about tech because I’m a developer and generally interested in tech. So Stack Overflow is my alternative Reddit for development.
DuckDuckGo has integration with Stack Overflow. Enough said, I’m convinced
