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Time to rant now that my twitter notifications have finally stopped.
So in Tara’s live the other day, she said that the friend group has been “so safe” during this pandemic and that all of her collabs are in the safest way possible. Which brings me to my first two points:
1. She is telling the truth and they all have gotten tested each time they’ve had a party or get together.
2. She is not telling the truth, they haven’t gotten tested at all, yet she knows her twitter stans will still believe her no matter what she says.
Now, no one can tell me that either of these ways are morally and socially correct. Which brings me to my next two points:
1. If she is telling the truth and they have continued to get tested just so they can have parties, then that is the single most selfish thing I have ever heard. What kind of person do you have to be to a) completely ignore the fact that there are millions of people who haven’t seen their families since March due to Covid-19 and b) keep using up tests for such a selfish, stupid reason?
2. If she is not telling the truth and is just using her knowledge of the twitter stans to her benefit, then honestly? I don’t feel too comfortable supporting her or any of the friend group anyway.
And the last thing, regarding yesterday’s shenanigans: Katrina painted me to be the bad guy. When I responded the way I did, I was referencing the many times they haven’t followed Covid-19 protocol. The parties, the going out, yadda yadda. We know they’re going to have another damn party for Halloween but she made it seem like they weren’t. Say what you want, but i firmly believe that Katrina played the victim card yesterday, making me look like a complete asshole.
Oh, and feel free to tag him. Honestly, if the entire friend group is going to peg me as the asshole to hurt Katrina’s feelings, might as well start with Colby.
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A/N: there should be more sam fic’s, also this one isn’t my favorite but i tried really hard. however, i worked really hard on it and tried to describe in detail as best as i could. tell me what you think please :)
Song: based off of Brain by Drax Project
Timeline/setting: post-traphouse, griffin’s place, sam’s place
Word Count: 2.1k
Female!Reader x Sam Golbach
Masterlist
Sam had never expected to fall for you. It wasn’t planned, but things like this never were.
The two of you spent every moment together but it wasn’t a surprise. It was like one completing another. He enjoyed your company. He didn’t know what he loved more about you. Like the way you smiled when your favorite song came on the radio when the two of you were driving to your favorite restaurant. Or the way you laughed out loud every time he said a joke even if it wasn’t funny. He loved the way you got along with his friends and how much you and Colby seemed to click. He loved when you came over after you had a bad day and how much you cared for him when he was sick with the flu. But most importantly he loved how much you were un-apologetically you.
Sam had always valued being the responsible one. The least likely to have a scandal. The guy girls took home to their parents. But when he saw you at Brennen’s party he knew he had to do whatever he could to be near you.
He could remember the night clear as day. It was a perfect cliche. A candlelight scenario and a kiss he couldn’t forget. He had never been so enamored by someone before you came along. You had brought out a side of him he didn’t know he had. He felt rebellious, like a teenager, knowing he shouldn’t be doing what he was. It was such a rush. Like a natural high just being around you.
But he knew it was too good to be true. That much you made pretty clear to him when he attempted to turn your friendship into something more.
“So I have something I want to ask you…” he softly said as the two of you laid down in Griffin’s guest room. The sound of the party was muffled by the closed door. It wasn’t a surprise that the two of you had retreated away from the party.
“Shoot for it,” you replied as you placed your head on his chest. He slowly began to play with your hair causing you to close your eyes.
“I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me.”
Your eyes shot open. Suddenly you were panicking about where this conversation was going to go. You instantly removed your head from his chest
“Like a date as in to potentially be in a relationship with each other?”
“Um yeah. I just- I really like you and I want-”
“Sam stop,” you interrupted. “Please don’t finish that sentence. I-I can’t date you. You shouldn’t have told me that. You just- you can’t like me, okay?”
“No, no not okay. You can’t tell me that I’m not allowed to like you [Y/N]. I mean for fuck’s sake why wouldn’t I like you. You’re perfect to me.”
“Sam please, don’t do this.”
“What’s so wrong about the thought of us dating? We just kissed like it was no big deal.”
“Because I thought we were just having fun. Sam, there will never be an us and you should’ve just kept your feelings to yourself. We’re better off as friends,” you got up from the bed to leave the room but like usual, Sam wanted to have the last word causing you to freeze the moment he began to speak.
“You’re wrong, I think we could have something great. You’re just scared to admit that you have feelings for me. I’m not stupid, you’re just not bold enough to tell me the truth.”
“Fuck you, Sam.”
You pulled open the door and slammed it behind you as you left the room. You were so angry. How could Sam be so selfish and ruin something so perfect? Your friendship was fine as it was, why did he have to go and catch feelings?
As you stumbled down the hallway you could feel the tears threatening to leave your eyes. Because you knew that deep down, you would’ve done anything at the chance to date Sam. To be his one and only. To give him the love you knew he deserved. But a part of you also knew that dating Sam meant potentially losing him if things went sideways and you weren’t prepared to deal with that fact. You knew it made you selfish but you didn’t care. Sam was just way too important to lose and you didn’t know if you could survive without him in your life.
“[Y/N]!” Someone yelled causing you to turn your head in their direction.
“Hey Mike,” you said immediately placing a smile on your face and wiping your eyes.
“Is everything okay?” He asked and you nodded, barely able to form any sentences. You could feel your head pounding with every bass drop that played throughout the speakers. You just needed to leave.
Movement down the hallway tore your attention away from his. You watched as Sam walked out the room.
“I’m gonna go home, okay?” You told Mike.
“Do you need a ride?” he asked.
“No I’m good. Just enjoy the party for the two of us.”
“Okay, but text me to let me know you got home safe.”
“Sir, yes sir!” you joked. You gave him a quick hug before making your way towards the door. You had to do your best to sneak out because you were pretty positive that if any of your other friends saw you trying to leave you would’ve been stopped.
You didn’t know where this placed yours and Sam’s friendship. You just wanted everything to go back to normal but you knew deep down that wasn’t going to happen.
Sam didn’t expect weeks to go by without seeing you. He didn’t know how to be himself anymore. The two of you used to see each other at least every other day. Now he just found himself staring at the ceiling. He thought he was going insane. He’d spend his days scrolling on your page and watching your posts. He wondered who you were with and how you’ve been.
Everyone was beginning to worry. It was painfully obvious that Sam was hurting and you were keeping your distance. The only issue was that no one knew why.
Sam paced in room. He was debating on whether or not he should call you. He didn’t know if you wanted to hear from him or if you’d yell at him again. In his brain, no matter what he did you’d always seem to stay. There was no getting rid of you. No magic, no doctor or mechanic could fix a heartbroken brain. A brain that could only replay images of you. It was madness because he knew that fact was that he couldn’t move on.
A knock on his door pulled him away from his thoughts. His heart was pounding, a part of him hoped it was you but he knew it wasn’t. Swinging open his door he was faced with a cheery looking Mike.
“Howdy partner!” Mike yelled causing Sam to flinch.
“Um hey Mike. What are you doing here?” He asked as he stepped to the side to let him into the apartment. What he didn’t expect was the rest of his friend group to be following behind.
“Wait, what? Where’d you guys come from?” He questioned as everyone walked in and took a seat on his couch.
“We decided that enough is enough,” Tara said while folding her arms.
“What are you talking about?”
“No more sulking, just go and talk to [Y/N] already,” Colby demanded.
“It’s not that simple guys. I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“Bullshit Sam! She’s spent every day with Kevin, Aryia and I because she doesn’t know what to do with herself without you. She loves you man, she’s just scared of losing you and getting hurt,” Mike told him.
“And believe me, as much as I love her, I don’t know if I can sit through watching Beauty and the Beast again,” Kevin said.
“If she’s spent every day with you wouldn’t she be suspicious that you three couldn’t hang out with her today?”
“We asked Griffin to distract her tonight,” Aryia answered.
“Look I won’t call myself an expert on love but you two seem to really love each other and I think it’s important for the two of you to work whatever you went through out. You’re going insane Sam, you barely leave the house and you smell like shit,” Jake stated.
“HEY!”
“I mean he’s right, you’re kinda stinky,” Corey agreed.
“Things will work out Sam, but if you’re not willing to try then it will never change,” Devyn informed him.
“Okay guys I get it, I will speak to her. Can you guys go now? So I can figure out a plan.”
“Well you don’t have to be so rude about it but sure,” Reggie told him causing everyone to laugh.
“[Y/N] is probably going to come back to our place tonight so make sure you come by,” Mike made sure to tell Sam as he stood up. Everyone gave Sam a hug and wished him good luck as they left.
Sam sighed as he sat back down onto the couch. His friends made it seem like it was so simple to talk to you but it wasn’t. He wanted more and you didn’t. There was no coming back from that. Things would never be the same even if you guys started talking again.
About twenty minutes had passed before Sam heard another knock on the door. He groaned before getting up to open it again.
“What do you - oh, [Y/N] …” he was frozen. He didn’t expect you to show up at his house. He just thought it was Mike again. But seeing you standing there, almost felt surreal.
“I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t be here,” you stuttered while turning on your heels.
“Wait…” Sam grabbed your arm forcing you to look at him. “Please don’t go.” You nodded and followed him inside without saying a word.
You took a seat on the sofa and Sam followed suit, sitting right beside you. You suddenly laid your head on his shoulder out of sheer habit. You could’ve sworn you heard Sam’s breath hitch at the movement. You felt so content, so at peace. Like nothing or no one in the world could ever harm you. It was as if you were made to exist in a world that was purely just you and Sam.
Sam didn’t know how to feel. A part of him was happy that you were here with him but another part of him was angry at you for showing up and pretending like you didn’t hurt his feelings. Your words replayed in his head like a broken record now that you were sitting beside him. He didn’t deserve the way you treated him. But mostly, he felt like he wasn’t worthy of your love.
“Why are you here?” He asked you after his thoughts had settled.
“I was out with Griffin today. He wanted to go grab lunch at his favorite restaurant place and he brought me along since I was the only one who enjoyed eating there. For the first time in weeks I had found myself kind of enjoying myself. I was enjoying that I was able to leave the house and get some fresh air. Then Xepher called, and Griffin’s face flashed with love. Suddenly, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and where I went wrong and how much I really fucked things up…” You sat up to face him.
“Sam, what I’m trying to say is that you were right. That night of the party when you accused me of having feelings it was true. Sam it’s always been you. But I didn’t want to date you, I couldn’t date you because dating you meant potentially losing you and I couldn’t lose you. I know it’s selfish but fuck Sam I’m very selfish when it comes to you because you’re my everything and I don’t know if I could ever live without you in my life. I lov-” you were cut off by the feeling of Sam’s lips on yours.
Everything felt right, everything felt perfect. You didn’t want to stop but you knew you had to catch your breath. You placed your head on his as the two of you stared at each other to slow down your breathing. Suddenly, you laughed then he laughed and before you knew it the two of you were in a full fit of laughter.
“We just kissed,” Sam said in between laughs.
“I know... it was weird but a good weird,” you chuckled.
“I love you [Y/N].”
“I love you too Sam and this time I won’t be running away.”
