Eva's frantic and unbridled quest for meaning that has her throwing herself at people and pulling them in trying to see if they can fill the void until one day it's not enough and she kills herself VS Lara's frantic and unbridled quest for meaning that has her throwing herself into service-to-the-people and dissolving herself into the anonymous mass of others in need of help to see if that can fill the void until one day it's not enough and she kills someone else... oh my god... they should be smoking generous blounts together...
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I just found my diary from fourth grade and it’s all trash talk about every single person in my class. I must have thought I was a Disney popular girl or something because I was one judgmental fucking nine year old
I just wanna know for fun and to help improve my sona lore :3
Without any context but just the title of the au and ur thoughts of it, Which au has more likely to have heavy drama? And why?(Comments below not forced)
@mutuals
Most potential for a heavy drama?(Sona/Oc lore aus)
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this is probably a very niche thing, but do you have any hand headcanons about pathologic characters? as in, who's right-handed or who's left-handed... or both.
YESSSSS OMG #YASSSSSSSS I DO! I DO IN FACT! IT'S NEVER TOO NICHE FOR ME HONEY #THOUGHTSHAVER
since most of the population is right-handed, imagine that if i'm not mentioning anyone they're either right-handed OR i don't have any particular headcanons. + you get some handwriting headcanons as well, a "buy one get one free" deal
Dankovsky: right-handed, relatively neat writing when he wants, otherwise you're getting that Doctor's Handwriting
Burakh: naturally right-handed, but he trained himself to be able to write with his left hand when he sprained his wrist age 14. his left-handed writing is kinda fucked up and it's obvious that's not his natural dominant hand, but if you squint and focus it's readable
Clara: ambidextrous, but she has very rarely written in her life so she doesn't even notice.
Andrey: naturally ambidextrous, has a left-handedness dominance
Peter: naturally ambidextrous, has a right-handedness dominance
(fun fact about ^ i headcanon that they always had to be sat together at school and for a while the teacher didn't understand why they didn't get any work done and then realized that's because the way they had them (peter on the left and andrey on the right) their elbows keep bumping in each other's so they just switched them around and it was fine)
Rubin: naturally left-handed but trained himself to be able to write/do other stuff with his right hand in case (it was for him a thing of like Discipline)
Lara: right-handed, relatively clean handwriting unless she starts losing it and scribbling
Grief: left-handed
Eva: right-handed, neat handwriting, likes to either embellish her lettering a lot or have very "dry", austere, almost worryingly simple shapes
Yulia: right-handed, a nervoussss writer, very tense grip on the pen, very low and slanted letters
Nina and Victoria: both ambidextrous
Katerina: naturally ambidextrous, her proficiency in both hands has been coming and going, and her morphine addiction has made her lose her grip and stability on her writing to the point it looks like chicken-scratch now
Capella: naturally ambidextrous, she uses mostly her right hand so far but will learn to use the left one more as well as she grows up + trains with stuff like sewing, embroidering, playing instruments,...
Khan: right-handed, relatively clean handwriting. it gets cleaner and more precise as he grows up because he goes on to go to college and learn languages, so he takes pride and effort into materializing the letters of languages other than his own like greek, arabic, any using the latin alphabet, etc.
Notkin: left-handed. he's barely literate because of his Shit Life Syndrome making his writing, when he tries, somewhat unintelligible. since he barely ever writes he has no muscle memory of how to hold his pen so his left hand doesn't smear the ink all over.
Catnip: right handed, clean and pretty handwriting, her grammar is kinda shit but she has an excuse. she's an orphan.
Dandy: left-handed, messyyyy handwriting, but his grasp on grammar's preddy good. paired with his sister ^ they make for Notkin's Redaction and Deciphering Team.
hi hello a question about the pathologic blorbos (and their families possibly) and homophobia; expressing it, repressing it, internalising it. all that jazz. also any possible hypothetical non cis headcannons ?
gonna answer that last part bc it's the fastest: I've drawn most of the (adult!!!) pathologic blorbos I care about like In The Full Nude with the one they love at some point so if you've seen those you have your answers or at least can deduct them. i love and cherish all of my friends' hcs especially when/if they're able to Elaborate on it like all the hcs and bits and pieces and Ways These Characters Relate To Themselves/Each Other with/within/thanks to their transness and the Web Of It i eat that up i drink that up i enter my excited dog era. in my witness to greatness era. that's part 1 of answer.
now part 2 (cracks my knuckles and it echoes for thousands of years)
Dankovsky; he's the one i have The Most Thoughts about because. I'm dangling him like a little worm for the fish currently.
i think he knew very early. like 11yo that he was gay. it never was... a surprise for him. he tried to keep it relatively On Da Low because of his family matters (mentioning that in a bit) and didn't seek relationships during his teenage years. when he went to uni, it truly became like Solidified that He Did Like Men, and it kinda... scared him a lil. (one of the reasons I think he stopped drinking at uni very early on is because it gave him Thoughts about his male classmates and he was like Oh God No). he has an enormous propensity to Desire, and that's because he refused (and refuses) himself so much (he has a huge propensity to desire because he refuses himself, and refuses himself because he has a huge propensity to desire... y'know. snake bites its tail). he took on a very I'm Busy With My Studies/My Work I Can't Have A Relationship facade but actually it's cos he Strugglin With It.
to me his mother's side of the family is armenian, his father's georgian; both are relatively/very religious countries (Armenian orthodoxy for armenia, eastern orthodoxy for Georgia) so he was raised orthodox, and it brought in a general Atmosphere of homophobia, even if his parents never were truly virulent towards him.
Georgia from what I've been told has pretty strict traditions and the culture around masculinity and what A Real Man(tm) is is A Big Thing, and I think his dad started being like. 😬 when dankovsky picked up the cello as a kid instead of Guns And Weapons, and 😬😬 when he saw he wasn't getting any girls in middle & high school. He started distancing himself from his son a little because he was like Oh God I Know What That Means and an ""effeminate"" [dankovsky is 500km from being effeminate but a stricter a culture is about masculinity's rules, the smaller deviations become more apparent] son stains the father of that effeminacy (worldwide spread belief honestly), but Daniil still... was His Boy. they bonded over beetles. dad insisted Dankovsky know how to handle a weapon because he still very much wanted him to be a tough guy maybe a famed soldier or general one day, also to overcompensate what he perceived as lacking masculinity [literally dankovsky is not even that unmanly, dad was just very set in his ways]. now dankovsky is gay AND a menace. when dankovsky left for uni, dad wanted to... mend the bond a bit. eventually accepted his son was gay. offered him a chokha [georgian traditional attire] as a form of... You Might Be Gay. But You're Still My Son And I Still Think You're A Real Man, Because Only Real Men Might Wear This. Even If You Are Gay [he's not even that effeminate]. and since then they've fared well. dad doesn't get in his business too much.
his relationship with his mom was less strained because 1) as a woman, she doesn't have that My Son Must Be Straight And Masculine Or I, Too, Will Look Like A Effeminate Homosexual so she cares less and 2) to me she was like. I Spent 9 Months Making Him I'm Not Going To Be Mad At Him Over That. she's still kinda reserved about it like We Don't Talk About It :D way, but it's easier for her to accept. The one day daniil brings his man over she's like. 👀 good taste Danya.
Burakh
hilarious to me honestly. he's a late bloomer (like he discovered that about himself During The Events Of The Game). for years to me he was like "damn haha there's something fundamentally wrong with me I am incapable of love 👍" (cue his: "I'm not sure I know how to love." line from P2 pantomime). for years he just thinks there's something wrong with him but that's just because He Didn't Look The Other Way. so for decades he doesn't even know there's a closet. he doesn't know what a closet is. and when he suddenly starts to have an Inkling he might be gay he's like. aawww... what am I supposed to do with that.....
to me re:family well. his dad is dead. and even if he sees him in dreams, I think his father's potential wishes have very little weight on the scales. he has, narratively, to come to the realization that He Might Do, Or Have To Do Things That Go Against His Father's Will, Wishes, And Kin, and in that swoop he also deals with the Gay Thing. not really any... problems on his mom's side since the biological one is dead, and the Earth spits out homosexuals like sunflowers seeds honestly (I've mentioned how I think A Number of the herb brides are bi or gay + it's not a big deal, so I think it's not a big deal to them for Burakh either. that's just his problem now!)
since he [Didn't] Know How To Love he has to like. learn, in a way, all the ways to show affection and such. dankovsky had almost 20 years for everything to Bubble Up Inside and for burakh everything Hits Him in like 6 days so. love wins really.
Rubin
he had An Inkling pretty early on that he was gay but was like. what if I don't see it 👍. then he went to the army [p1 lore] and was like. oooaaagh I see it. he already feels Like A Disappointment to Isidor so he's not particularly moved on that side + Monk-Like Guy so he's like "I'll just stay celibate (shrugs)" (AND THEN DOESN'T!) but also... he doesn't live his homosexuality too bad. because anyone who could give him shit for it he could just crush them like soda can. so.
Peter
his mom had An Inkling he would turn out gay when he was little bc he was Sensitive and Not Like Other Boys and in them days [and still today for many families tbh] those are the Tell-Tale Signs. when andrey came out as bi at age like 14 and peter got himself a gf at that age too she was like "Oh... i must have been mistaken then. Ok it's that one. i guess peter is just like that :)". then peter came out also as bi at age like. 19. and she was like. "Oh. so I wasn't completely off. a little off." he didn't bring anyone home for 10 years and she was starting to get scared he'd just be alone always but then. he finds himself a nice guy. love wins.
i think he realized he was bi at uni. he had always liked girls, had like a gf in middle school (nothing serious since they were in middle school), then just thought nothing of it until he was surrounded with male classmates in their bright ages and he was like. ooooh I see how it is.
i've mentioned it already but i think their father, as a piece of shit, really disliked the Vibes he got from peter. mean about it. then they decided they wouldn't put up with him any longer so. bi rights AND bi wrongs I guess.
Andrey
cf. Peter's paragraphs. knew he was bi early and didn't let anyone give him shit for it ever. still doesn't. very comfortable in it. might have had a lil thang for dankovsky at uni before he heard dankovsky speak and it turned his wenis outside in with the sheer cringe he felt. this led him to becoming obsessed with him because no one before had left such a mark on him before and now. here we are.
he was very bold towards dankovsky in uni like "you got a problem with me and the boys sitting on each others' laps? 🤨 you... homophobic?" and dankovsky had to be like Oh My God No I'm Not. No I'm Not... and then andrey was the first person daniil told he was gay to, made him promise to Shut It about it, and since then andrey has lived like that one image of plushie pikachu looking like it's holding back very very hard not to say a curse word.
Yulia
she had Obvious Signs of being a lesbian at a young age and her parents kinda... had to deal with it. you can't do much really. as I've said they're pretty 🤷🤷♂️ about it. the familial atmosphere at home was already pretty formal and distant so all yulia had to do was say she was a lesbian and then move on with her life. she doesn't tell her parents she kisses a woman on the reg now, but they kinda don't have to know in a way.
she had a kind of I'm Very Busy With My Work I Can't Be In A Relationship when she first took her independence, maybe because she still wanted to Please Her Parents, but very quickly realized that. fuck it we ball. they're not here to see anyways.
Eva
her parents do not know she's bi, they haven't known before and they won't know later. she was always a free-spirited child who liked to do her own thing and leave her home at night and go hang out with friends, I think she knew she was bi age 15 and had her first girlfriend age 16 that she would slip away when everyone was asleep and go see. she, too, was very comfortable in her bisexuality, I think that's what brought her and andrey together (bi4bi evil/angel couple. thank you pathologic) + she really appreciated he didn't try to stifle her free-spiritedness. she barely gives any news to her parents so she's balling.
all i gaht for now... there are many a characters I think are gay or bi but I don't Think ABout It Too Much, or not enough to have like. LORE! for that. :3
I’d love to hear your thoughts on your favourite patho characters + how they feel about displays of affection? kisses, hugs, lingering hand touches etc. all the sweet things :)
going to be 100% frank with you my favorite patho characters are yulia and peter but I'm going to make the list for Other Characters too bc like. I'm out there. mixing up a lil How They Give affection and How They Receive It… kinda. i'll make sense.
OK!
peter: oh he bites. ngl he bites. / chews. it's mostly something he did as a child for obvious reasons but as an adult he's kept the habit only now he only does that with romantic courtships and he stopped chewing on his family members. he also likes to Linger in general, his version of "hanging out" is standing in a corner of a room watching his loved person sleep or do whatever. really into mirroring as a love language. like cats do. he gives really weird hugs and in general likes to Slump against people & he likes to climb/climb atop romantic partners to just hang out (ONLY if the vibes are right and they're secluded/alone). he gives really weird kisses (cf. peterstakh fic honestly) and very weird looks. also used to give very weird mildly morbid romantic love letters to the art school classmate he was in love with, thankful classmate was also a bit weird and didn't take it poorly. lingering touch WITH nails he likes to scratch.
rubin: this guy has many problems and issues and is not Very Good at expressing love (no one here is bless em) but his mind Mode of affection regardless of if familial/platonic/romantic love is gestures of like. protection? like he will give his coat to lara (his best friend and To Me he sees her as a little sister), he will put himself between his friends/lover and danger because he thinks bc he's So Big he can take a shanking, things like that. also a fan of mirroring (peterstakh lore really) or just Standing There. also love language of Cooking for people. he's reticent at the touch like a dog at the shelter but that just means he needs patience and care and eventually he'll accept a hug without flinching (cf. the peterstakh fic again).
andrey: he also used to chew on people but he's stopped that mostly. big into chivalrous protection, like the type of guy to wrap arms around a waist and be like "fear not m'lady/m'lord". love language regardless of the type of love to Pick Fights In Their Behalf even if they go "can you staaahppp". also into stuff like baisemain, holding doors, touch on the shoulders and waist. also has a Cooking love language regardless of the type of love but doesn't lean into it consciously.
burakh: also a guy who recoils at the touch like a shelter dog… also a guy who has cooking as a love language. he's subconsciously very much into Giving Touch as a love language, handing [someone their] gloves back, keeping watch of stuff, offering his arm to walk home, etc. generally into Keeping Watch as a love language, making sure someone gets a good night of rest by keeping an eye on the door… he IS starved for touch will not lie. he is starved for touch. he does not actively seek it but will give it recklessly if asked/offered, and will receive it like a starving man if given.
dankovsky: ANOTHER one who recoils at the touch like a shelter dog! to me that comes from the fact that he is Deeply Reserved + closeted so a man's touch makes him feel like Oh Fuck. and yet. he needs touch like he needs water. most of the ways he gives affection is by kind words; bc for a guy who's so deeply full of himself, telling another that he sees them as an equal (or even better!) is like. a spectacle. if he feels comfortable, and he does not feel comfortable often, he will give touches, on the shoulders, backs, kinda pat them trying to appear detached and cool with it. Touch stays as a display of affection when he enters actual relationships. also likes to help with tying ties, helping someone put their coat on, etc. into offering tea.
yulia: she a Lil Shy. her main modes of display are also Hanging Out. hanging out and looking Very Intently at the other woman. she also appreciates Hanging Out, she's a huge fan of just Being In A Room with people. also into chivalrousness, helping women put their coats back on, open doors, walk em home… etc… she's also tense to touch but loosens up way faster than the guys up there because she doesn't have as many problems and issues.
eva: oh she loooves to touch. she has way less restraints than the others up there so she loves Leaning Towards People, being in their spaces, touches and playful kissies. can be a lil destabilizing. she's a huge fan of playing coy for fun. she also really likes to.. Listen To Peopl Talk. pull up a chair, sit there, lean towards, nod, stare with a playful, delighted smile… you see it
