#etherealcomplex

Hey loves!

I hit a point where it wasn't thickness per se.. It was what I never wanted to be. Yikes!

This is the one area I suck at because I'm a major foodie. If I'm not buying food, then I will make it. Period.

But, hey, a girl has goals, and they're not going to come true without discipline! Yes, that word. Practice makes permanent, my loves.

Tips on being healthier, the plus-size edition:

Girl, you better cut back on sugar! (Yes, almost everything breaks down into sugar, and it doesn't help if you're a major sweet tooth like myself).

You have to cut back on processed foods! (I'm trying to figure out alternatives for a quick meal, but I have incorporated more veggies and organic essentials into a meal.) Slowly but surely, you can do it without it hurting your pockets! 

Be mindful of how much you eat! Oops, I went there. (Do not overeat! You gotta learn when you're full. The U.S. serving size and plates are enormous compared to our counterparts in other countries...) 

Drink more water!!! (I'm still trying to meet the average intake, but I guess 96oz is a start for this week.)

Drink more tea! (I've cut back on my energy drinks and coffee intake. And the skin is clearer, like can I get an Amen!)

Take your vitamins/supplements! (About every day before Mother Nature revs havoc for a week. I've been advised to not take them during that week. I typically stop a few days before it comes. And start again once it is done.)

Be active! (I try to exercise or do my daily walks a few times a week. Even if you miss a day or two, make sure you take some time during the week because something is better than nothing. I even started being more adamant about getting my steps in. Do what can keep you geared towards your fitness goals!) 

Stretch more! (Yes, flex, move that body.)

Moisturize your scalp, deep conditioned your hair when needed. (Take care of your hair; I can't stress this enough! Your food diet can affect your hair as well!!)

The other definition of self-care is keeping your skin protected by using sunscreen!!! You better be protecting your skin! 

Stay on top of your wellness checks! Be in tune with what your body needs or is begging you to do!!! Please, it's better to be safe than sorry. You don't want to regret not checking it out sooner or no longer having the opportunity. I've witnessed and heard too many horror stories. Please don't make yourself become one.

From one plus-size girl to another, be easy and soft with yourself. This is the body you're born with. Take care of it! Remember, your future self will thank you!

Hey loves!

photo source: loveless-anime

Even if you haven’t dealt with any childhood trauma so to say. Sometimes a traumatic experience can affect the way you think, behavior and so much more.

The body has a way of sheltering you until you’re ready, but only if you’re ready.

photo source: safe-haven-place

But you must be open to realizing what you’re fighting against. You don’t need to force it.

Suggest journaling or speak with someone you trust.

The most helpful thing to do on your healing journey is accepting that this happened to me, it made me view life this way, but you don’t have to stay like that.

photo source: liathebutterfly

My motivation is that if I have a child and it's a girl. I don’t want her to feel like this. And if for some insane reason she does. I hope to be an anchor of support, love, and encouragement.

photo source: mamiiyantii9o

Maybe healing doesn’t ever truly end like it’s an ongoing process.

Regardless of if you’re starting or smack in the middle. I hope you take courage and understand how important it is!

I know that I’m not the only one who used to ignore or block a situation and by the way that isn’t healthy, love.

Why?

photo source: artisticlog

Because it manifests into different areas of your life!

Do yourself a favor and work on healing. Your future self will thank you.

photo source: safe-haven-safe-place

Hey loves!

This is a reminder that at the end of the day, motivation and inspiration comes and goes. 

It could boost up by 1%.

photo credit: pianta

But what will matter? 

Is doing it when you don't feel like it or when you don't want to, or when you don't see a change fast enough, and that's where the magic happens!

It’s a tricky thing to master, so prep yourself mentally. Say a mantra like, "I'm doing it because I deserve to."

You must be disciplined in whatever you want to do or want to achieve in life to obtain or be close to achieving the goal.

Discipline does not apply only to your physical well-being. 

It applies to every area of your life, such as your relationships, schooling, and any other area you want to excel in!!!

photo credit: shaystudyblr

photo credit:  hydrangeasandtattoos

I've worked on my other areas, little by little. But low physical endurance hinders me from learning how to master playing a woodwind instrument. I've practiced on and off for a year. (Granted, I don't have a Maestro due to COVID-19, but it's not an excuse for me to not have enough breath control to master playing the notes effectively). I gotta be FIT again!

Reminder!

Set a schedule you can follow.

Be diligent during the time you set for the task. If you're delayed due to a circumstance, then do it moderately. Sometimes a quick study session or focus period is essential. You doing something is better than nothing, so make sure it counts! 💯

Value your rest!

That’s all for now.

photo credit: studyseraphic-studies

If you don't want any regrets, then give your all. Remember, your future self will thank you🧚🏽‍♂️✨

Hey loves!

This is a heads up to all the hardworking, beautiful souls if this applies to you, then take it!

"It is okay to take a break.”

Take a breather to relax and unwind. Breath in and breath out.

Being on ten 24/7 is a recipe for burnout.

This is coming from a dedicated university student taking an accelerated degree program. (I have a new semester every month. 😪)

Here's the thing: back in February, I made myself sick from working too hard!

I pulled countless all-nighters back-to-back and worked early shifts. Because right after my work shift, I went straight into my schoolwork into the wee hours of the morning. My body could only handle two weeks of self-induced torture before it protested. 

My body forced me to rest, which was a hard thing to do. I had to call off and ask for extensions on assignments which is something I rarely do.

One major lesson learned is that it is okay to give yourself periodic breaks in between.

It can help prevent headaches! Go ahead, take a quick nap, come back rejuvenated with fresh ideas!

Start by giving yourself 30-minute breaks, an hour, or even a couple hours before continuing.

I promise you this, your body will thank you!

photo source:  wocmakeup2

What's the point of doing all of this if you're not taking care of yourself?

Besides giving yourself a break, make sure you stay hydrated and check your posture!!!

photo source:  call-me-your-ala

A lack of sleep will catch up to you. 💯

Please take the necessary steps for self-care.

Why would you work hard if you're not going to be able to reap your harvest?

photo source: churchyardbasementromance

Remember, your future self will thank you! 🧚🏽‍♂️✨

Nobody asked: Just simply obsessed with the concept of Black Excellence. I just think that Black Girl Excellence is so captivating!🧚🏽‍♂️ 

This blog is dedicated to all the women leveling up and doing better for themselves in whatever way that means to them!!! Society has put so much pressure on us. We deserve better and will aim higher✨ 

Hey loves!

I hope you have figured out the small things that make you happy! Isn’t it lovely to smile in bliss, even if it's brief?

[Side-note: most of the photos are from yours truly, you will know by the captions]

1. Buy yourself some flowers!

(If you're not allergic to the real ones and if you ARE, then there are fake ones to change the mood of your place.

When was the last time you received flowers? If you're like me... a long time ago. When I graduated high school a time ago…

I recently purchased some for my desk area and kitchen. And honestly, I love looking at them every day. It’s the small things that make me happy.

These are the lovely baby’s breath I purchased 😌

2. Treat yourself to a drink!

No, it doesn't have to be alcohol. It can be a cup of coffee, tea, etc.

A cup of earl grey while doing school work.

Yours truly at the Hard Rock Cafe at universal studios for a birthday dinner two years prior.

And boy do I love my drinks!

I always say that "the year my mom dreaded was not when I turned 18, but 21." But I keep it simple. Sip every now and again, not just on special occasions. And if I'm in the mood, I make them! 

My family loves it when I make these, whether it is ginger tea, fruit smoothies, or my personal favorite, mimosas, and sangrias. We’re all in for a treat.

Let it be a drink that every sip satisfies you.

Marinate the moment. How are you living without giving yourself a moment?

3. Give yourself a day off!

Not an easy feat coming from an avid student in Uni, but it's worth it!!!

If you can use PTO or book that day off, do it!

You will thank yourself later. You don't have to do anything extravagant. You can actually just use that day to rest. Sleep in until noon or cook that meal you never had the time for. Whatever you do, make sure you're grateful to have the ability to do so and plan accordingly.

4. Get that ManiPedi!

Ain't nothing like getting your nails done and feeling yourself!

I love to treat myself, and nothing will stop me from feeling my absolute best.

The fall season is one of my favorite seasons to get my nails done. I tend to just get them done a few times a year. But my pedi's monthly or bi-monthly.

I love getting my toes done in pink with white tips, but those black tips were it for me ✨

5. Get your hair done!

If you have the time or money, get your hair done or set time to do it yourself.

And if you’re blessed like me. You can have a family member do a style you like when they have time. What you don’t pay back in currency can definitely be paid out with food. In this case, it’s because we’re foodies, lol.

6. And If you're in the mood, order/make your favorite dish or dessert!

The Cheesecake Factory is my secret splurge every now and then again. By far, I love this, and I actively make it a monthly ordeal, if not then bi-weekly. And if you can’t tell already, I have a sweet tooth. But a worthy sacrifice from my favorite candy and chocolates.

Sometimes I make fried Oreos

This dish was made before realizing that I'm lactose intolerant for real 😅

My signature bell peppers and onions were added to the mix!

Hmmm, my homemade mashed potatoes. I’ve been in a mood to make some more later.

What are you in the mood to make? Most of these were my first time making them, and they quickly became a regular meal I cook.

7. Ain’t nothing like buying a new shade of lipstick or nail polish.

This is something i’m guilty of doing very often, especially before the pandemic.

Find out the colors that look good on you!

8. Take some time and enjoy nature!

Have you tried walks in nature? If you like it, try to keep it up daily.

If permitted, walk around your neighborhood or go to a nearby park.

I tend to take snippets of the beauty I see when I do my morning walks.

I walk past this almost every morning and if I was driving I would have missed this beauty.

I was so happy when the seasons changed✨

9. Invest in scents/ perfumes

Nothing like smelling good. I have quite a collection of body sprays, shimmers, and perfumes. An expensive habit I got from my mom. I’m still trying to figure out my signature scent.

I tend to get some from Bath & Bodyworks, and if you don’t know much, go to your local Macy’s or get some at Sephora; I love their gift sets if you’re just sampling.

10.  Read a book!

One of my favorite pastimes, and if you don’t mind the genre or medium, don’t limit yourself to just reading a physical copy!

I just finished reading the graphic novel, The Handmaid’s Tale.

That’s all I have for now, but the key is to not be afraid of treating yourself and discovering what makes you happy!!! You deserve to smile, now act like you deserve it🧚🏽‍♂️

It’s been a while and I wanted to say that I’m doing well. I've been avoiding this post for a while... 🙇🏽‍♀️

I'm learning and taking the time to live intentionally. This is easier said than done!!!

It is hard living by your truth when you just want to quit and give up. It's hard being a decent human being when you've been betrayed and hurt. It is hard to be grateful when you've been taken advantage of and manipulated, but the fight isn't over. We're like flowers ready to blossom but don't forget we're also easier to wilt. This is why we must pace ourselves and be patient during the journey🌺