Oliver slipped his lips down the tip of her nose; Felicity shivered in his arms while he continued to pull at her pebbled breast. Her thighs were pinched and, her lower back was curved as she slipped her fingers down along his swollen cock. He smiled ruefully as his lips moved gracefully over her parted upper lip, “No you wanna know why I told you when I did...”

His prideful smile slipped when her thumb passed over his wetted tip. His fingers nearly slipped down to her clit when she traced her tongue along the curve of his bottom lip. He kept moving his fingers down through her hair until his fingers found the sloped nape of her neck. His thumb passed along the column of her throat when her knee slipped along his other aching parts. He bit back a tight growl when she breathed with incomplete rapture, “Why can’t I have the answer to both?”

Oliver palmed her breast before he fully claimed her upper lip. He felt her tongue sliding along the top of his bottom lip when he slipped his own tongue along hers. She openly screamed as he skimmed his tip along her clenched inner thighs, her felt her knee drop before his tip slipped easily between her newly parted thighs. He kept his palm along the nape of her neck as she skillfully wrapped her calves along his sharply moving hips. He deepened the kiss once more, her lips slid along his mouth like a dancer as they moved along a lit stage. He felt her hands moving down the sculpted aspects of his sides until she had her nails etched along his hips. His skin burned as she lightly pinched the surface. Her lips blazed along his mouth boldly as he slipped his erect member past her folds.

She ripped her lips away then screamed breathlessly, “This isn’t an answer...” before she dug her nails into his taut skin.

He nibbled at her neck, her pulse was racing as she finally shifted onto her back. He slipped even further until he was fully sheaved within her aching core. His felt the soft, strong and, very tight muscles of her inner walls milking every inch of his shaft. He roughly massaged her right breast while she pulled torridly at his pistoning hips.

He gave her a crude, “I told you because in that moment I knew I might never see you again.”

She had her cheek moving along his scratchy scruff as his lips plundered the puckered skin of her thoroughly abused neck. She pulled at his hips roughly with her agile hands. Oliver nearly gasped in lust fueled shock when he felt her inner walls sharply tugging along his painfully erect cock. Oliver’s hips swayed at the sensation of being completely dominated before a trembled, “Did you regret it?” moved along his skin.

He sharpened his blows along her core, he felt her body breaking beneath him as shards of her soul flew about the room in a smattering of frenzied screams formed by complete and, utter ecstasy. He moved his lips back along her jaw, so she moved her fingers up his sides. He was nearly complete and, he could tell her release was drawing near. He could feel her arousal spilling past his sheaved cock and, down to the sticky skin of his inner thighs. Her hips bucked sharply as he placed his forehead along her own. Their steely blue eyes locked, her fingers were now moving gracefully down the contours of his face, his lips parted as her chest heaved. Her eyes were completely blown with unspoken wonder when he whispered along her trembling upper lip, “Telling you that I loved you? Or realizing that I’d almost done it too late?”

His punishing pace felt hurried, frenzied and rushed as the sweat began rolling down his curved spine. Her body was shuddering, her hips were thrashing against his groin widely as her fingers slipped along his cheeks. He pressed another chaste kiss to her open mouth, she was barely able to let out a breathy, “Both?” making him smile smugly before he drilled through her core. He didn’t stop his punishing journey until he felt her legs giving out around him.

She slipped her fingers down his cheeks, her release was coating them both, his entire lower body burned with exhaustion as a tight scream passed through her grinning lips. Oliver slipped his lips over her mouth once more in an act of pure yearning. He felt her murmured emotions along his inner cheeks when her half articulated words floated through his aching soul. Her felt body trembling beneath him and, he saw the depth of her wanton desire through her elated if not satisfied eyes.

Oliver pushed upward once more making sure to cover her mouth completely until their tongues were entwined. A thousands words ran through his head during that one blissful moment, thousands of missed moments and distant memories flashed before his eyes but only one stood out...

He’d replayed that moments thousands of time before. He’d memorized every inch of her… the way she stood, the way she spoke and, even the way the sun highlighted her glowing face. He’d perfected her until his memory was as close to the real thing as humanly possible. He remembered she was standing before him with the ends of her ponytail moving softly along her the dewy skin of her face. She had a few cuts littering her otherwise perfect skin, her eyes were endlessly blue and, her fingers were jumping nervously along her sides. Her smile was endless as were the waves that echoed around them. She’d just said they were unthinkable...that the idea of him being in love with her was...

Unthinkable… and everytime something inside of him broke.

He shaken back to his current reality when her screams of completion ran down his suddenly clogged throat, her tears of happiness traveled down the sides of her face as they collected along his skin. His moment of reflection was broken, his trace of forgotten memories was gone allowing him to find his own soul crushing release along her soaking inner walls.

Once the sensation of feeling whole began flowing through his heated blood he slowly moved his lips down the trails of her fallen tears. Felicity in turn pressed her fingers along his sharp, angled shoulders as their heaving chests met. She giggled when he slowly kissed his way down her throat. Her amused,“You still haven’t answered my question…” made his very fragile heart begin to quake.

His lips curved, she trailed her toes along the back of his calves when he whispered an unsteady, “Unthinkable...”

He could feel the small wrinkle forming between her furrowed brows as she uttered in complete confusion, “What was unthinkable?”

He chastely kissed her pulse point. She trailed her fingers down his spine as her thighs widened allowing him settle his upper torso firmly against her body. She held him to her, he savored the warmth of their shared afterglow. She kept her touch light as he kept his shaking lips pressed to her skin. Her felt the rapture of her racing heart beginning to slow as he delayed giving her a very well earned response. The sounds of the dungeon like castle echoed around them. The blood red sheets began to cool as she brought her bent knees up along his hips.

He shivered as the breeze from the open window moved along the thousands of flickering flames. He felt her soft exhales along his furrowed brow as he pressed one last kiss to her dampened skin. She trembled as he slipped his nose along her throat, her harsh breaths grew wilder as he traced his tongue along the trails of her fallen tears. He muttered once his lips reached the corner of her parted mouth, “My regret…” he nearly sputtered before a more graceful, “I regret that I let you think we were unthinkable...” came flooding through his soul and towards her faint smile.

Her fingers moved up along his shoulder blades as a small, “I regret that I ever thought it was true...” passed through her lips.

He captured her bottom lip with his teeth after a soft, “Yeah me too...” passed between their mingled breaths.

Her nails were digging along his scalp, his lips were gliding along her soft smile as a ghosted, “I fell in love with you long before that moment and, I should’ve told you that very day...”

Her shaken, “I don’t think I can leave you here after that confession...” bloomed through his stomach angrily as her fingers began to explore...

He murmured, “I’m always going to love you...” against her soft, swollen lips; hoping that she’d understand just how connected they’d always be.  

Her gravelly voice quivered when she sighed, “You know I’m completely in love with you right?”

He nuzzled her nose then kissed her chastely as their foreheads met in one last tormented touch. “I don’t want any regrets when it comes to you...” he confessed as her fingers moved harshly along his scalp.

He felt her hips moving slowly, her eyes were twinkling with hidden desires and, her mouth was twitching into a broadening smile when she breathed, “Then make sure we don’t have them...”

Seconds later he claimed her lips with one torrid kiss after the next. If tonight was their forever then he could live with that. If she left Nanda Parbat with the taste of his kiss lingering upon her lips then he’d be sustained by that fact.

Oliver could survive almost anything if Felicity was happy but, what surprised him as they celebrated what might be their first and only night together was what she didn’t ask. She’d asked him when he’d fallen for her and, she’d even asked him why he didn’t tell her sooner but, she didn’t ask the most important question of all…

She didn’t ask him why he’d bothered to tell her at all… He mused to himself after she’d excused herself from the room over the answer he would have delivered. He pulled his shirt back over his head as he buttoned up his pants. The breeze from the open window dragged along his skin like a soothing balm while he slowly sauntered to the balconies edge. As he glanced over the barren landscape a single thought raced through his frazzled mind...one single cascading emotion ran through him as the answer to her unasked question rang through his newly broken heart.

The light of the moon made the blistering desert seem cold as he let his broken heart bleed along the pale sands. He laughed at his stupidity yet marveled at his soul when a gentle, “I told you I loved because in that moment I realized I’d never been in love until you…” left the half smile of his lips. He knew when dawn broke over the yellow sands his plan to die would begin but, for now in this single moment he let himself pretend… He let himself pretend that when she walked through that door they’d be at the start of their life together instead of at the end. 

But she wakes to a crack of thunder and the sillhouette of Oliver sitting on the edge of the bed, outlined in the flash of light through the window. Sighing and stretching out the pleasant soreness in her body, still adjusting to the frequent (and enthusiastic) use of different muscles, Felicity waits for him to move towards the bathroom, or perhaps climb back beneath the covers with her.

He stays completely still, until the next roar of thunder shudders against the windows, and she sees the flinch along his frame and the rigidity of his arms grasping the edge of the mattress in his fists.

“Oliver?” she asks softly, the sleep cleared from her eyes in a single blink, and she reaches out towards him but holds her fingertips back from brushing the bare skin of his back. The rough scars across his broad shoulders, the League’s brand still healing into clotted flesh, are smoothed beneath her gentle touch now that she can linger against him any time she wants—but smoothing the scars beneath his skin will require a touch she isn’t sure how to give.

“I’m fine, Felicity,” he replies without looking back at her, voice slightly gruff. “Go back to sleep.”

Knowing that he is at least awake (having researched enough to know not to touch someone with PTSD having a nightmare), she now lets her palm rest against the muscles between his shoulder blades. She feels the breath he releases beneath her fingertips.

Sitting up and letting the sheets fall to her waist, Felicity rolls towards him, sliding her hand up over his shoulder to find its way towards his heart. The beat beneath his tattoo is a quickened rhythm, his skin slick with cool sweat, and she feels her own heart leap in sympathy. He stays still as she presses herself against his back, her other arm curling around his waist to hold him tightly in her embrace, her chin resting on his shoulder as he takes a deep breath. The next rumble of thunder is quieter, and his only response is a tightening of his fingers into the seams of the mattress.

“You should have woken me,” she murmurs, though she instantly regrets the way it sounds like an admonishment. She quickly corrects herself, saying, “You can always wake me.”

He sighs and turns his head, so that the stubble of his jaw brushes against the tip of her nose. When he might have pulled away, she leans into it, nuzzling against his cheek.

“It’s nothing.” His deep voice is soft as the fading thunder, but the muscles of his abdomen are still tense and rigid beneath her arms. She can feel the quirk of a humorless smile in the muscles of his cheek shifting against her nose when he adds, “Just rain.”  

“It’s not nothing,” she says firmly with a kiss against his jaw. “Because… you are everything.”

She can only hope that he hears her, that he understands—that she didn’t walk away from anything when they left, because every moment of her life since he walked into her office has been moving towards him. There is no “away” except away from him. She is strong enough to know her life is more than any man—and brave enough to know that she can give her entire life to this man.

And she’ll hold his life carefully in her arms in return.

The slide of her bare chest against his back, the trail of kisses she brushes down his chin until he’s twisting back to catch her lips with his, the release of his hands from the fistfuls of sheets to come up and capture her hands against his chest… He’s quickly distracted from the storm, and she lets him disappear in her, to escape his own skin with the warm welcome of hers.

When they collapse back into the haphazard tangle of sheets, hearts beating fast and skin glistening with sweat for a much more pleasant reason, he falls asleep with his cheek resting against her collarbone and her nose buried in his hair. She stays awake, hands stroking up and down the parts of his back and shoulders she can reach, keeping watch over his dreams. Even in the resurgence of the storm just before dawn, he stays safe and sleeping in her arms.

But chasing away the monsters is not a single battle—it’s a war. And as the months go on, in foreign places around the world and in the quiet suburb they finally choose for their home, Felicity realizes this is a war without a clear end. There are nights she wakes to him shifting and muttering in his sleep, other times she doesn’t wake until he’s already left the bed to work out downstairs. There are nights where he falls back to sleep quickly, others where she wakes to keep him company with whispered words or heated touch. Some battles are triumphant and brief; others leave their scars in dark circles beneath their eyes and yawns throughout the day.

She told him she would always fight at his side—and she meant it.

He will never again fight this war alone.

Felicity worries coming back to the city and the Arrow might make things worse, but not as much as she fears. The new influx of responsibility and schedules and campaign meetings and late night adrenaline leaves them both tired to their bones, and trying to make time for themselves through all of that only leaches more of their sleep away. The few hours they manage are deep and uninterrupted, a snoring tangle of limbs where she’s not even sure when her skin ends and his begins. Maybe they even share their dreams, hazy and flitting visions of battles won and lost, of battles yet to be fought.

And when he wakes, she wakes with him, so attuned now that his first inhale of awareness is echoed with her own. Sometimes they just talk, her sprawled across his chest, her chin resting on her folded arms as she smiles down at him. Sometimes she just holds him, wrapping herself around his large frame as best she can, both of them laughing when she throws her short leg over his hip to try and gather more and more of him into her embrace.

She can’t end this. There’s no code to crack, no simple formula to unlock, no switch to press that will keep the nightmares at bay. She can share his pain as best she can, but she can’t erase it with the click of a button.

But she can be there with him. She can be the soldier at his side, never leaving him behind. She can protect him with the same ferocity he has always shown her enemies, even when the enemy is the past.

Because she has a weapon that the past cannot defeat.

She can be his future.

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“How can you be laughing right now?” She lifts her head to glare at him, unable to escape the bloody gore in her peripheral vision. “There are intestines on screen.”

“Those look nothing like intestines.”

She scrunches up her nose in a grimace. “Why am I dating someone who knows that?”

“Felicity, those are clearly sausage links,” Oliver says, still smiling as the final scream dies off in a choking gurgle. “I’m pretty sure this movie was made in someone’s backyard.”

“It’s still—“ She squeezes her eyes shut at a final shot of the mangled body lying sprawled over the ground. “—freaking me out. Why do you want to watch this?”

The movie has turned back to the other hapless teenagers wandering around in the dark, listening for vague sounds in the distance, startling at broken twigs and lurking cats. Felicity can actually bear to watch this part, though she keeps the edge of the blanket up around her nose, and squeaks when one of the other teenagers leaps out to prank his friends.

“It’s a Halloween tradition,” Oliver says, and then his eyes soften as he lifts his arm to wrap around her shoulders. “Come here.”

He tugs her into his chest until her legs are curled onto his lap, her small body tucked into his arms, and she keeps one hand around the blanket over her face while the other reaches out to snag a handful of his shirt and hold herself against him. The smell of his woodsy soap, the sounds of his steady breathing and occasional huff of surprise or amusement, and the solid firmness of the collarbone beneath her cheek as well as the muscular arm wound around her back go a long way towards making her feel better.

Until the killer arrives with a sudden thrust of his knife through one of the teenager’s faces, and Felicity jerks in Oliver’s grasp with a yelp. He strokes his hand up and down her side as she once again shoves her face into the muscles of his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her lips.

“But really, why do you like this? I would think…” With all you’ve seen, she thinks but doesn’t say, because comparing any of Oliver’s experiences to a hokey horror movie about a serial killer is not what she wants him to think, for a second. And yet… she would think they all had enough of violence in their lives without adding it for entertainment.

“I don’t know if I like it, but… I remember the first Halloween Tommy and I were allowed to watch a scary movie,” he says. “After we got back from trick-or-treating, with all our candy sorted into piles between us, my dad said it was okay even though my mom didn’t like it. It became something we did every year, and Thea would cry when we wouldn’t let her join us, and then we’d have Halloween parties in high school and put on a silly movie like this…”

“So the girls would be all over you?”

He smirks as his hand pats her on the thigh splayed over his lap. “Some things don’t change.”

But she can see in the fading of his smile that some things do.

Like the fact that they’re alone in the loft with enough ghosts between them to outdo any scary movie. For a moment, she thinks of another world, where they throw a big Halloween party with strings of orange pumpkin lights and spiked cider—and Tommy sits on the couch beside them, laughing at Felicity’s shrieking while Laurel rolls her eyes at all of them as Tommy wraps his arm around her shoulders.

So maybe this isn’t about watching teenagers being hacked up by a knife-wielding monster.

Maybe it’s about holding onto a thread of the teenager he once was… and the memories of the teenager who’s lost from all but these fading traditions.

Felicity can’t bring him back from the dead—but maybe, for now, she can keep some part of those traditions alive.

She can’t watch another minute of splattered red dye and horrible acting, though. So she shifts on Oliver’s lap, as his hands hover uncertainly to catch her as she climbs across him until she’s straddling his hips, braced against his shoulders.

“So… these girls at the parties… I imagine they needed some comforting,” she murmurs, sliding her hands around his neck as he stares up at her, the confusion in his face clearing slowly into an eager heat. “Someone strong to keep them safe and warm.”

“I did what I could.” His hands grip her waist, pulling her in against him as he tilts his head back to capture her lips.

“This is a tradition, too, then,” she gasps between heated breaths.

“This,” he says, voice deep, as he pulls away and slides his thumb across her chin. “Just us, this is new. But I think it may be my new favorite tradition.”

Felicity almost mutters that if he thinks she’s going to watch these ridiculous movies every year, they’re about to add fighting to their tradition—but she’s quickly lost in his lips and hands and the rasp of his stubble beneath her fingertips and the coiling of his muscles beneath her hips.

He may pretend this is new, but she has no doubt what those parties and scary movies were really about…

She also has no doubt that this man is now hers, and she is reaping the benefits of the man he’s become. It’s a much more pleasant sort of reaping than the contents of Reaper IV: Into the Woods playing across their TV screen in shaky cam and sprays of fake blood.

But they’re not watching the movie any more…

And the next screams echoing through the loft do not come from the TV.

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 Everything they discovered about each other wasn’t pleasant or easy, but it didn’t matter. They loved each other and they knew being in a relationship took work. When your were building a relationship with someone you considered your other half You embraced the good, the bad, and the annoying qualities about them.

Felicity knew Oliver had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  He didn’t have to say it. Though Oliver never received an official diagnosis and she was no doctor.  She saw the symptoms and behaviors numbing, aggravation, reoccurring nightmares…   Felicity was anti label, but identifying Oliver with PTSD helped Felicity realize that some of the characteristics Oliver embodied, as the Arrow, were somewhat affected and enhanced by his PTSD, The signs were all there: His aggressive and reckless behavior. The flashbacks he would get when someone would trigger him just by using a simple word, or movement. The way his mind would seem to think in fragments instead of complete thoughts when he was stressed.

Felicity threw herself into research about PTSD. Learning about everything she could to help Oliver. From studying more about the symptoms he exhibited to alternative treatments, and diets.

She knew Oliver would possibly never go in search of professional help. His name held too much notoriety both as Oliver Queen and the Arrow. Felicity knew the people of Starling weren’t stupid, they knew he was the man in the arrow suit.  To find a professional who could listen to Oliver without judgment would be close to impossible. Not many people would understand that sometimes in order to survive you had to rid yourself of your morality. Oliver had told her, the story about the young man he had found had tied up in a cave. Oliver’s instinct warning him that the young man was not to be trusted, and in the end his initial instinct had been right. The young man had been a spy for Fryers, but Oliver’s guts had twisted at the idea that someone could have possibly needed his help and he hadn’t assisted them. Oliver had needed to rid himself of his morals to walk away from the cave leaving the young man to suffer alone. Oliver told Felicity, he had felt his heart turning colder the further away he walked.

Felicity had to support Oliver in his journey to heal himself in anyway she could. He was so much more than a diagnosis, it didn’t define him as a person and she wouldn’t let it.

Looking back, one incident that stuck out to Felicity above all the rest was the night of Sara’s burial (if you could call it that). She had found Oliver’s inability to grieve cold. With tears in her eyes she had accused him of not feeling. He hadn’t flinched at her words. Simply choosing to respond with, “if I grieve no one else gets to.” She understood now, why Oliver had numbed himself, not letting himself feel. Oliver had shut himself down as a defense to pain; He had needed to preserve his sanity. Oliver had once again lost someone he loved.  

The act performed by the hands of a man who chose to make his baby sister a puppet. Staining Thea’s hands with a crime she had no choice in committing. Felicity felt taking away someone’s free will for your own personal gain was a sin. Thea had to carry the consequences of Malcolm Merylin’s actions for the rest of her life. Oliver had tried his hardest to shield Thea from the ugliness of the world, of humanity. He had never wanted her to know what it felt like to carry guilt like a second skin, one you could never fully clean. Felicity wished she could take those accusations she spat at Oliver back, but she couldn’t. All she could do now was move forward and pay closer attention to the source of his behavior. Felicity came to realization that it had been easy to dismiss some of Oliver’s symptoms as personality traits because everyone had known that as a youth and a college student, Oliver had been both cocky and reckless.  There was also no denying that stubbornness and arrogance were natural parts of his personality.

Felicity figured Digg must have suspected Oliver had PTSD.As a soldier himself he was more than adept to figure it out. She thought about how kind and patient Digg was with Oliver, how he had tried to be Oliver’s conscious when he needed it, How he tried to stop Oliver from being stuck in his own mind and isolation.

Thinking of Digg had made her miss him. She would text him every once in a while, but she missed his sly smiles and underhanded jokes. She missed helping the team out in larger ways and needed more than the occasional secret search. She hoped more than anything Oliver and Digg could love and trust each other again. Felicity’s happiness would dwindle if two of the most important people in her life couldn’t get along. She loved Digg and so did Oliver that would never change. Oliver had suffered many losses these past 8 years, more than anyone should have to go through in an entire lifetime. He didn’t have to add Digg to the number of losses he had experienced in his lifetime.  Felicity whole heartily believed her boys could make it work. It wouldn’t be easy, but she had to have faith in the two of them. Felicity knew when they got back. Oliver would have to make the first move in mending the broken trust between him and Digg Oliver actions had hurt Digg down to his core. That wasn’t something she could solve.

Oliver had bad days and she understood that. He didn’t have to impress her. He didn’t have to pretend, put on a façade for her because he thought that is what she wanted he didn’t have to woo her. She was already his, heart body and soul. We all had demons we had to conquer Oliver and Felicity were no exception.

The first time she ever saw him have a nightmare she felt she was intruding on a private moment she should not have been privy to, knowing he was re-experiencing memories she could not wish away.  It was a state of intense vulnerability for Oliver. His nightmare so strong, when his eyes opened, they looked wild and unfocused. Felicity didn’t see Oliver, she someone consumed by fear, every part of him slick with sweat, his breathing heavy. Felicity could see how tense his muscles were; ready to attack at any given moment. She knew it was better not to touch him. Felicity felt helpless to see him in such an erratic state. She was use to being the key to all his problems; She took pride in knowing how to help him. If he had a physical wound she stitched it, if he needed her to hack into a network, she hacked it. If he needed inspiration against battles he found impossible she provided it. She told him things that came from her heart like, “don’t fight to die, fight to live.” Providing him with encouraging words was her way of saying I love you, without having to say the words out loud. Felicity knew he wasn’t ready to believe them, and didn’t think he deserved them. She hoped her actions spoke louder than words.

Sometimes Oliver’s nightmares we’re so strong she   would see him cower into corner of the room shaking vigorously. His hands holding his knees as he shook. Felicity would wait till he made direct eye contact with her, till she saw life come back into his eyes, instead of the icy blue ones she was witnessed to. Eyes that bore death, pain, sorrow and desperation, before joining him on the floor, she would sit down from him. Remaining still until the shakes came to a full stop. Afterword, she would pull his hands from his knees, making sure he was looking straight at her, before tugging on his hands beckoning him to stand up with her.

Felicity would lead him to the bathtub in the hotel suite filling it with enough water, add some Epson salt and a couple of drops of lavender oil. Turning toward him, she would slowly undress him, keeping their eyes locked, as she did. Looking for any sign of unease on Oliver’s face from her touch. When she was done, she would let him enter the bathtub first, undress herself, before joining him, and lean against his chest. She waited for Oliver to reach a relaxed state, waiting to feel his chest muscles loosen against her body, taking it as a sign of Oliver’s body slowly calming down from its state of hyper vigilance.  The lavender oil seemed to help sooth his frayed mind. When Felicity felt Oliver was ready she would slowly wash him. Rubbing a bath sponge down his chest, arms, and legs. Spending extra time on his hair and massaging his temples. Showing Oliver it was okay to trust her fully with his body. Washing Oliver was an intimate act, not one driven by lust, but driven by the desire to take care of him. Oliver was by no means a fragile man, and Felicity took Oliver’s acceptance of letting her touch him in such an intimate way, as sign of him giving her the trust she was seeking.   It made her ache. Oliver had been through so much tragedy and yet, here he was fighting to be free, fighting for all the love he couldn’t get out.

    They would stay in the tub till Oliver’s skin was pruning, or till he would begin to feel sleepy once more. They never bothered dressing, taking comfort in their bare skin touching. Oliver would lye down on the bed and she would lye down next to him. Placing her head on his chest, her legs, entwining with his than she would grab the comforter, Cocooning them in warmth and safety. She would always be there with him, every step of the way.

Sometimes baths didn’t always work Oliver would be too haunted and frozen by fear to even move back to the bed. Feeling safer on the ground. Felicity wouldn’t fight him, wouldn’t try to coax him into something his body language was clearly telling her he wasn’t ready to for. Instead she would she strip the bed and place all the sheets and comforter onto the floor. Trying her best to meet him at his level, letting him know she understood, His eyes would always look at her with such gratitude it broke her heart. He would lye down next to her stiff as a board, his side always closest to the door. Watching, waiting, for an attack that never came, Felicity wouldn’t let him stay awake alone no matter how tired she was.

She would grab her tablet and open the kindle app. While she preferred the feel of an actual book in her hands, traveling made that difficult. She would open a story geared towards children. This week she took Oliver to the magical land of Narnia. Felicity considered children’s books to be a source of real wisdom. These stories had more heart and more human truths than 90% of the novels written for adults. The Lion The witch And The wardrobe was one her of the series. Felicity enjoyed reading to Oliver about the friendship between Mr. Tumnus and Lucy.  Little noises would pop out of Felicity’s mouth when something exciting or surprising would happen, no matter how many times she read the story. She would continuously have to hold back her tears. When she got to the section where Aslan would sacrifice himself in order to protect the people he loved. Reading that scene to Oliver gave her chills because it had taken on a whole new meaning for her, one that made it more personal than it already was. Felicity had her own version of the great Lion lying right beside her. Remembering he had, and would again without a second thought.  Sacrifice himself for Thea, for his city, for Digg and for her. Oliver never spoke when she read, but she knew he was listening. She could see it in his body language. His movements were subtle, but she saw his eyes look towards hers when she would pause for a moment, or see his eyes close for a few seconds while he processed a part he connected to.  She knew his panic was calming down, when he would inch closer to her, seeking comfort in the familiar feel of her skin. Little by little his body would slowly try to relax itself as she continued to read to him.

Another habit Felicity realized about Oliver was the needed certain things to be arranged in a sequence. For instance, his morning routine barley ever changed, it might vary if he woke up needing her after a bad night. On mornings like those, he would wake up, and make love to her until he explored every part of her. Until he felt himself returning to his body, reminding him he belonged here with her. He made love to her until her body had nothing left to offer him and she was completely marked by him. Most days he would cuddle with her for a bit while she rubbed his neck, if he happen to fall back asleep, his routine would begin afterwards. He would wash up. Drink several cups of black coffee, before going for at least a good a six-mile run. It didn’t matter where they were Oliver needed his routine. It gave him a sense of control and structure. Felicity understood if something disturbed it, which at times, happened due to travel.  Oliver felt frantic and unsettled. On days like that, she made sure to spend extra time with him to keep out of his head, and tried her best to talk him down from his agitated mood.

Oliver was becoming more involved in trying to control his symptoms and understanding what was happening to him. Learning that indicators of PTSD could appear years later, or would appear when a person started to let their guard down and feel safe. He understood that Felicity wasn’t there to judge him. The only person who judged Oliver was himself; he was his own worst enemy and carried guilt like it was his name. He needed to recognize moving forward didn’t mean you didn’t take a couple of steps backwards some days.  

Oliver would practice activities like yoga and meditation. These were not easy practices for someone who was not used to sitting still for long periods of time. At First, Felicity did these exercises with him, but the more he practiced the more she felt it was important to give him space to process, it was key for Oliver to understand he had the tools to heal himself to the best of his ability. PTSD was not believed to ever go away completely. It would be there waiting to be triggered, but it could be controlled with the proper treatment and a great set of self healing tools 7.7 million in the people suffered from PTSD Oliver was certainly not alone.

One day Felicity had come back to the hotel after taking a small trip to the gift shops around the area. To find Oliver sleeping like a rock on his dark green yoga Mat, the matching green towel draped across his face. The towel doing nothing to muffle his deep snores, he was so still. Felicity almost poked him, just to make sure he was okay.  She resisted deciding to take it as a sign that his alone time had gone well. She chuckled softly, trying her best not to wake him. It was rare for him to stay asleep; he usually awoke at the sound of a pin drop. Slipping off her sandals, she took out her phone snapping a quick picture, and texting it to Thea with the caption our sleeping beauty.

Felicity laid herself down next to him on her dark pink yoga mat. It had already been on the floor from her own morning yoga session. A few minutes passed before Oliver’s eyes fluttered open staring directly into hers. “Hey,” he whispered groggily, his “sleepy smile” spreading across his beautiful face. “Hey” she whispered back. Are you watching me sleep? He asked, “Yes” she replied. Reaching out to touch his face, slowly tracing it with her fingers. She said, “Watching you sleep so peacefully makes me happy. I love seeing you like this, unguarded and relaxed.

Scooting closer to her, Oliver rolled himself on top of her, grabbing her hands and pinning them on each side of her head. Entwining their fingers together, before saying, And I… love you. You are the person in my life that brings me the most peace.” He rubbed their noses together and kissed her.

A few minutes later the two of them were involved in a pretty heavy make out session complete with some heavy groping. When they heard Felicity’s phone ding alerting her to the new message, she had received.  “I’ll get it Oliver said, jumping up to grab it. Giving her a chance to catch her breath from Oliver’s intoxicating kisses. “Fel-ic-ity Oliver said, when she heard Oliver unlock the screen to her phone. Why does my sister have a picture of me sleeping on   my yoga mat?”

“Hmm” he said looking at her and lifting one eyebrow up in his direction. His expression was firm. Felicity didn’t know if Oliver was trying to intimidate her with his facial expression, but she couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing, not able to stop.

She heard a small chuckle escape Oliver he was obviously trying to suppress his laughter. Didn’t he know laughter was contagious? And before long he gave in, joining Felicity in her Laughter. At that moment, Oliver’s laughter became one of Felicity’s favorite sounds Oliver laid back down beside her. “What- Did- she- say-“ Felicity managed to get out between laughs. “I believe she wrote, Ha! Sleeping Beauty looks so cute. Tell my brother I love him and I love you too Felicity.  Felicity waited till her laughter slowed and she caught her breath. Looking at Oliver, she said, “Thea really said she loved me?” Pulling her closer to him again. Oliver looked at her with a slight frown. “You know Felicity for someone who’s always telling me to believe in myself. You don’t always have faith in yourself, in your value to other people, Of course, Speedy said she loves you.” Placing a Kiss to her forehead. Oliver said, Speedy has always given her love freely. Her heart has hardened in the past three years, but not enough to make her scared of affection I am so grateful for her ability to still love despite everything she has faced.” It reminds me of how strong she is, of how brave she is.

Taking off her glasses, Felicity placed them in a safe spot and whispered. “You are strong too Oliver, still capable of giving out love. I know you are because you tell me you love me every day.”  “Well he    whispered back. I had a lot of catching up to do.” Waiting a beat before he continued. You give me my strength Felicity. I wouldn’t be laughing like this if it weren’t for you. I couldn’t be here with out you Oliver said. “Tha-” Felicity tried to say, but he kissed her effectively silencing the words that were about to come out of her mouth. He was done talking. No one had ever said Oliver Queen Played fair.

 A couple of day later, Felicity sensed something was bothering Oliver. She didn’t want to bother him, but she caught him staring blankly at the wall in front of him, biting her lip, she sat down on the bed next to him. Giving him a few minutes to gather his thoughts. He looked at her, his blue eyes, missing the shine she had been growing accustomed to seeing. Taking a deep breath, she saw Oliver reach for her hand, bringing it to his lips, placing a kiss across her knuckles. Before placing hand back down on his lap and settling his hand on top of hers. Felicity was growing concerned at his behavior. “What is it Oliver? What’s bothering you? Talk to me” she said.

She watched as he rubbed his hand down his face. An obvious sign he was struggling to find the words he wanted to say to her. “Felicity- When we started this road trip and I said, I wanted to discover who I was when I was with you.  I absolutely meant every word. But…” But? Felicity prompted, waiting for Oliver to continue. I- didn’t think I would put you in this position. Not understanding what Oliver was trying to say, she took his face between her hands and started to smooth the tension lines underneath his eyes. “Baby, what are you trying to tell me? What position are you putting me in? Because not to make light of the situation, but I’m pretty sure every position you put me I do it willingly. Oliver let out a small chuckle at her response. Felicity felt relief at seeing him react to her words.

Good.

She wanted to get Oliver out of his head. “So lets try this again, What are you trying to tell me? Oliver looked torn, his eyes haunted, but Felicity what determined to wait him out.

“ I mean that- I just didn’t think all these things would happened on our road trip: You having to deal with my nightmares, the fragmented thoughts, and the little freak-outs. I wanted you to come with me on this trip to show you the man I was capable of being, not the man I am.’

Felicity mulled over Oliver’s words for a few minutes wanting to express her thoughts properly. He had taken a courageous step in expressing his insecurities. Oliver didn’t like being insecure, but who did. He liked being controlled and composed.

“Oliver first, let me say this, I love you and I have for a very long time. I just had to wait for your heart to join the party one-day.  Second, I happen to think the man I see in front of me isn’t man you’re capable of being. I happen to think this is the man you always were. You just needed a little help digging him out.” Grabbing his face again her eyes searched his “Oliver and nothing I have seen has scared me. Trust me when I tell you I got more nervous when you went out in the field. I never knew if you will come back hurt, dead, or alive. I stuck with you because I believe in what our team stands for and because I’m so goddamn in love with you I couldn’t bear the thought of a life without you in it.”  

Felicity took a deep breath, before a single tear made its way down her cheek. She felt Oliver wiping away the tear with has thumb. “Both times that you were gone. I grieved for you, I prayed for you to find your way back to me because while I knew I would survive. I also knew your missing presence would alter me in a way that I was pretty sure I would change me in a way I wouldn’t like. There would always be a void in my heart that belonged to you and only to you.”

She saw Oliver’s eyes grow misty. Don’t ever think that I regret joining you on this trip, or that I see you as a bother because yes you’re right.  We’ve had some hard days, but we’ve had beautiful ones as well. Tears slid down both faces and Oliver kissed her, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth.

Felicity felt a sudden urgency to make love to him. She pushed lightly on his chest, breaking the kiss. He frowned at her a little.  His face made no attempt at hiding that he was unhappy to be detached from her lips. Felicity laughed at his petulant behavior. Ignoring him, she pulled his green shirt from his jeans. Finally getting  the memo Oliver pulled his shirt off the rest of the way.

She pushed at his chest once more, this time he went down on the bed willingly. Pulling her shirt off, and climbing on the bed. She straddled him running her fingers down his chest before leaning down to kiss him. His tongue peeking out to lick her lip, breaking away once more, Felicity licked and nipped how way down his body. Running fingernails down his pecks, which made him moan. She loved hearing that sound. She saw his eyes darken with lust finally an emotion entering his eyes.  She left butterfly kisses on his scars as if her lips were a healing balm for them. She knew Oliver’s topography to his body, just like he knew hers.

Felicity wasn’t very practiced on the art on going down on men. She could admit that. Some bad experiences had left her hesitant to try this move again. But with Oliver everything was different. She was willing to be more daring, to try new things. Felicity knew what she liked and she wasn’t shy. Oliver and her had great communication when it came to sex and she had been very honest from the beginning about some of her bad experiences. Oliver had listened to her and was respectful of her fears. Creating a safe space for them both to talk about sex. She didn’t feel fearful of doing something wrong or unsatisfying with him because of that honesty. It made the trust between grow. He encouraged her to be adventurous, not to just stick to what she knew and with each talk she grew more confident.

One of the first times Felicity had gone down on him. She had caught him off guard and pushed him against the wall. Surprised he had just stared at her. She had started by kissing his neck alternating between kisses, licks and bites. Every once in a while, she enjoyed marking him with a hickey. Oliver was guilty of marking her too. Racking her nails across his button down shirt coming in contact with his nipples. She had discovered that move elicited sounds from him. Felicity had slowly unbuttoned his shirt kissing her way down as she undid each button. Oliver’s eyes never straying from her face as as she did. The primal look in his eyes turning her on as well.

Oliver had made her feel sexy and it had made her want to satisfy him even more. She had slowly scratched her fingernails over his crotch, before cupping him and squeezing him gently.  Causing another moan to escape him. She had felt a bout of anxiety hit her when she had pulled down his boxers and pants coming face-to-face with his erect cock, all the bad experiences came rushing back to her. Oliver must have sensed her change in mood because he said. “Relax Felicity we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Giving her a gentle look and making sure she knew he wasn’t angry at her “But I want to she replied, and she did.

She wanted to feel him surrender, wanted to make him feel pleasure, the way he made her feel anytime his head went between her thighs, swirling his tongue and fingers inside her until she exploded. She moved her hand up-and-down his cock, before placing the head of it in her mouth, slowly taking more and more of him in as she relaxed.  Oliver had gingerly placed his fingers in her hair showing what he liked. Making it an intimate experience for them both.

When she heard him curse as he came. Pride filled her bones and she was in a state of euphoria for the rest of night. The memory of Cooper’s cock way too deep in her throat making her choke forgotten and Oliver had rewarded handsomely for her valiant effort.

Now looking at him lying down on the bed as she prepared to make him surrender to her once again. Her body flushed with the memory. Suddenly desperate to hear her name escape his lips. Wanting to make sure he was fully back to her and not lost in the crevices of his mind. She wished she could paint him as he came. He was beautiful.

About a week later Felicity came in to their latest hotel room buzzing with excitement. She loved this room. Their suite was spacious. It had come with balcony with a beautiful view of the water, and came equipped with a small fridge.

Oliver stood in his spot on the bed where he was reading from the kindle Felicity had purchased him. Looking up at her, he noticed her touching a bag with enthusiasm. “How’s my girl?” He greeted, smirking at her. “Your girl is great.” “I can see that. he replied.  What’s got you so upbeat this morning?”  Three things Oreo cake, coloring books, and color pencils.” she said.  Pulling out two huge pieces of Oreo cake in plastic containers with forks already inside wrapped in plastic. Than taking a huge pack of color pencils out and two coloring books and placing them in the middle of the bed. Right beside where Oliver was.

Oliver let out a laugh as he watched Felicity grab the milk from the mini fridge and two plastic cups that were stationed on top of it.  Before she slipped off her shoes and joining him in the bed. Putting the milk on the nightstand on her side of the bed. Felicity’s energy was infectious and immediately put Oliver in greater spirits. She always brought the light back with her.

Putting his kindle down. He said “Felicity I understand why we have two pieces of Oreo cake, but why do we have two coloring books, and a 64 pack of color pencils? “Well, Felicity replied, I read an article that said coloring could have the same affects on the brain as meditation. The article is a couple months old now, but at the time the article stated that four of amazon’s top selling books, were adult coloring books. She smiled at him. Picking up one of the coloring books and showing him the cover with the Little Mermaid characters on it.  

“Felicity coloring books with The Little Mermaid, and Tangled characters are not adult coloring books.” “Say’s who,” she answered back. Felicity bit her bottom lip, and cocked her head looking sideways at Oliver. “The coloring books that they consider “adult” Felicity said. Making air quotes to emphasize her point. Range from 10 to 20 bucks and they’re making a Harry Potter one, so to me these count as adult coloring books. They serve the same purpose.

“Felicity” Oliver said, with a serious look on his face. “Are you trying to tell me that you want to Harry Potter coloring book for Christmas?“ She slapped his arm, and he bit back grin. “OW” he cried dramatically. “No need to be vicious Woman.” Pulling back his arm like she actually hurt him.

“Oliver!”

“Felicity!”

“I thought it could be an exercise we could do together, Felicity finally said. Of course, that’s after after we eat our Oreo cake. Reaching for her piece beside him.

    Looking at Felicity. Oliver knew he couldn’t say no to her. She was his kryptonite and he knew it. He agreed to her demand and reached over for his piece of the Oreo cake.

The two of them spent the rest of the afternoon fighting over who got to use what color pencil and for how long.  The both of them laughing as they manipulated each other with kisses to steal the other ones color pencil.  Oliver was learning and accepting. Some days were easier than others, but with a little bit of patience and Felicity by his side. He knew there was no obstacle he couldn’t learn to conquer.

sorry i am retagging because for some reason my tags disappeared. sorry it’s nothing new. i needed to it so i know for my own sake i tagged the people who asked

Felicity would have considered riding into the sunset cheesy too, but with Oliver it wasn’t. It was an ending to one chapter and the beginning of a new one. She started noticing the differences in his smiles half an hour after they left Starling City, behind them.

They were in the car and Felicity was good naturedly teasing him about his marriage to Nyssa. When he said the words, “ I’m happy.” Those words had blindsided her and so did his smile. It was a smile she couldn’t put a name to. Every name she had tried to call it, not sounding right in her mind. His ”tranquil smile” or his “finally at peace smile.” None of them had worked. She kept that smile close to her heart, deciding that even though it didn’t have a name it was a smile reserved only for her.

The first few days of their road trip the two of them had kept it pretty low key traveling to their neighboring towns, Central City and Coast City. Felicity had almost jumped out of the car when she had spotted Big Belly Burger in Coast City She was hungry. It had been approaching dinnertime and she felt like a lion approaching a hyena. A lesson Oliver had to learn the hard way that an empty stomach made her mean. Her rationale went flying and her temper flared.  Felicity was pretty sure Oliver had not felt so resentful towards a small car until he met her “hungry face.”

When they got inside Big Belly Burger both of them chose a booth near the window. Placing their orders relatively quickly the two of them, knowing the menu by heart. They ate often at Big Belly Burger over the years due to the long nights Team Arrow pulled to make Starling a better place. In many ways eating at Big Belly Burger was a staple for them, a place that remained constant no matter where they were. It was one of the few places that provided reassurance, while everything around them changed. Cheeseburgers and fries were always fattening. And fountain drinks always gave you cavities no matter what chain location they chose to eat at. To a team who lived on the edge of not knowing what to expect every night, there was something comforting in knowing that.

When the food arrived, Felicity hummed happily, as flavor hit her. Her taste buds saturated with grease and oil goodness. She had eaten a bacon cheeseburger, extra salty fries, and a black and white milk shake.

Oliver watched her eat as he chewed on his jalapeno Bacon cheese fries and drank his root beer. Relief flooded him, knowing that with food in her stomach Felicity’s temperament would be back to normal and not this villainous creature he witnessed in the car

Felicity made the mistake of letting out a loud moan, when she bit into a juicy part of her burger. Her eyes closing on reflex, her taste buds doing a victory dance. When she opened her eyes back up, she noticed Oliver’s hand had stopped short about to pop another cheese fry into his mouth. Placing it back down on his plate. Oliver stared at her intently for a minute, before he broke out into what Felicity named his biggest “Playboy smile” all his pearly white teeth showing. She didn’t know why seeing him smile at her right than, had made her cheeks flush a deep crimson. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Oliver’s smile didn’t waiver from his face. She knew he sensed what his smile was doing to her because he winked at her, laying on his charm extra thick. It that instant Felicity figured out how Oliver Queen had managed to get girls to drop their panties despite, his terrible hair back in his college days. He added a smile to his already gorgeous face. It made him an irresistible package.

Jerk!

Felicity couldn’t complain one bit. Oliver’s smiles we’re not something Felicity had seen much of. To her Oliver’s smiles where a luxury, one Felicity did not want to lose, they were beautiful. It made him look much younger and carefree. Oliver had many hidden smiles and every time she saw one of them. Her heart felt like a balloon ready to burst. Smiling was such a simple gesture, but it filled her with delight.

Felicity discovered what she dubbed his “sleepy smile” not long after. She had found if she rubbed Oliver at the nape of his neck, first thing in the morning, he would show her his smile. He’d look at her through his half open eyelids letting out a purr of contentment, reminding her of a big cat. Other times, he would cuddle back into her. As he found the perfect spot to lay his head on her breasts, while she rubbed his neck. Sometimes, his breathing would even back out letting her know he had fallen back asleep. She loved it when that happened. Being able to sleep peacefully was an everyday occurrence most people took for granted. Not realizing how lucky they were to be able to get a full nights rest without nightmares plaguing their every thought. She herself, was guilty of that. Felicity had her fair share of nightmares ever since joining Team Arrow, but unlike Oliver she didn’t hold in until it created an emotional scar she could never recover from. She had Digg to thank for that. While Oliver would always protect her from physical harm and he would be there in anyway she asked him too. It took him a little longer to notice if she felt okay emotionally. His biggest tell sign to him that something was bothering her was when she was quiet and didn’t ramble. She come to realize her quietness scared him, he might stop her mid ramble every once in and while, but she knew he secretly enjoyed them.

Through out the past year though, she noticed that he had become more acute to her emotional state. Felicity had suspected Oliver’s perceptiveness of her emotions was affected when he stopped fighting his feelings and let himself completely fall in love with her. Oliver falling for her had made him want to fix everything. Her initial breakup with Ray, being one example, he had led Ray back to her. Even if it hurt him to do so, he had sucked up his male pride in order for her to be happy. When you were in love you put your wants and desires aside and made sacrifices for the person you loved if it meant seeing them happy. If rubbing the back of his neck meant he would sleep a few more hours, she did it gladly.

Some days, when Oliver felt well rested he would lift her tang top up and trace patterns into her skin, it would occasionally tickle her Her reaction would coax his “sleepy smile” out of him and he would start to share one antidote after another, with her through his sleepy eyes. The more stories he told, the more animated and excited he became. Felicity would listen and watch as Oliver’s blue eyes came to life. All the while, her hand would be rubbing the back of his neck.  

Oliver’s “sly smile” was one of her favorites. It could lead to adventurous sex or trouble. Most times it lead to amusing trouble. One night, he had come to their hotel room with a brown bag behind his back. Excitement written all over his face, Felicity was about to ask what he had with him. When he leaned in for a kiss, taking his time, gently exploring her mouth, their tongues clashing softly.  His kisses had a way of throwing her off balance making her feel off-kilter. He pulled back slowly Leaving her dazed. Keeping her eyes hostage with his.

He pulled the bag in front of him, opening it. Felicity watched curiously, as he pulled out two cupcakes, handing one to her. She smiled at him when she realized her cupcake had green frosting with rainbow sprinkles. Oliver’s cupcake was covered in yellow frosting with rainbow sprinkles; Oliver could have a silly sense of humor.

“What is this for?” she asked, “Happy one month anniversary Felicity“ he said, the smile making it’s way across his face contagious. She found herself mirroring his smile, “You remembered” She replied, feeling shocked. His eyebrow rose up at her reaction. “Did you really think I would forget?” He replied.  “It’s not that." She paused, choosing her next words carefully. “I am just not use to celebrating one-month anniversaries, with anyone.”

“With me” he said, stepping closer to her. “We will celebrate every milestone together as a couple. We will laugh, we will cry, we will dance, and we will fight. But, Felicity, he said, a bit louder making sure he had her attention.  “We will hit these milestones together,” He finished placing a kiss to her neck.

Felicity’s mind was reeling with Oliver’s impassioned words, before she could think of a response back.  Yellow frosting covered her nose, his “sly smile” making an appearance on his solemn expression. Felicity instantaneously found her own arm shooting out to cover Oliver’s cheek with her green frosting, before she could process what was fully going on.

Five minutes later the two of them were covered in a mix of yellow and green frosting.  Their laughter covered the hotel walls.  They were being ridiculous and they knew it. Oliver picked her up and threw her on to the bed, She was still laughing as she bounced a little from the force of her landing.

He crawled toward her, a predatory look entering his eyes, Felicity found herself moving backwards almost hitting the headboard. Trying to escape his animalistic gaze, it made her flush.  Still on his knees, Oliver tugged hard on her legs, making her slide down, Thankfully her head hit a pillow. Oliver placed himself on top of her. Kissing her with fervor, both of them tasting the remnants of the frosting left on their lips. He licked the remaining frosting off her neck and bit down softly, effectively stopping what little laughter, she had left in her system. All the playfulness they had felt only minutes before gone. The air in the room shifted turning primal along with their moods. Felicity sat up, removing her clothing, exposing her nipples to the air-conditioned room, she watched Oliver undress, lust unfurling in her stomach. God he was so sexy.

He was all man and muscle. He helped her slide the rest of her clothing off, before making his way back to her. The moment his warm tongue licked her nipple she hissed in pleasure. The contrast between the cold air in the room and his warm tongue creating delicious sensations inside her, she enjoyed feeling his beard against skin, feeling the roughness of it, as he explored the valley between her breasts. She could feel her slick arousal pooling between her legs. Oliver loved teasing her, loved that the moisture between her thighs was a result of the way he touched her, kissed her, and loved her.

Felicity knew it boosted his pride when he got her to make sounds only he could get her to make, like he was cracking the mystery to his favorite code. Oliver knew on nights when he wanted to lavish her with all his attention, asking for nothing in return, she craved to touch him, ached too, but he stood firm in his resolve, wanting to explore her until she felt herself go slightly mad. Later in retaliation, she would mark him with small bites, slowly riding him till he unraveled, wanting him to know how desperate he made her feel. When he denied her the ability to touch him.

He grabbed Felicity’s legs resting them on his shoulders, positioning himself on his knees, their eyes meeting, before he entered her hard and fast. She felt a moan of pure satisfaction leave her throat, as he moved in and out of her. Grabbing his arms for support as he quickened his pace, and pounded into her. Sweat broke out into her skin, high-pitched moans continued to spill from her lips. Their eyes stayed locked, displaying the desire and need they both felt as they connected and became one.    

 bandanab310 felicityqueenforever supersillyanddorky06 aspiringmuse itchiygo itsabeautifulstory95 bluemorgana myhauntedblacksoul crazypants5 certainmentalityface olicityns

In fact, she’s taking care of both her boys, making sure Digg tries every single bit of food he’s eyeing enviously, even when he insists he’s not supposed to eat on the job. She piles up her own small plate with crispy dumplings and skewers of tender beef, and then shoves it into his hands and glares at him until he eats.

“I think those are the Verizon people,” Felicity says as she points out a clump of suits speaking with a sharply dressed woman near the front of the room. While the entire event is courting sponsors and investment partners, Verizon is clearly the biggest fish in the pond. “I wanted to talk to them about the free wifi initiative QI is sponsoring. I’ll be right back.”

Oliver snags her hand before she can walk away. “I’ll come with you.”

“No, really, it will be quick and technical and boring, I promise. Grab me one—no, three—of those cream puffs and find a quiet table in the corner.” She squeezes his hand, and still has to lean onto her tiptoes even in heels in order to bring her lips near his ear, so she can softly add, “I know these things tire you out. We’ll head back to the room soon.”

Pressing a kiss against his stubbled jaw, she pulls away only to have her lips snagged by his. He tastes like jalapeno poppers and beer, and she doesn’t even care if her red lipstick has smeared as she walks away grinning.

She manages to snag one Verizon woman on the edge of the circle, someone in promotional media who listens to her pitch with a courteous smile but clearly can’t do anything about it. The woman does promise to pass on Felicity’s card, ever mindful that QI is still the biggest name in Star City. But before Felicity can target another one, the Verizon people have dispersed from their circle to mingle with the room, and she is left standing alone beside a woman with a razor-sharp red bob and a couture black dress that hangs decorously past her knees.

“Hello,” Felicity says, a bit uncertainly.

“Hello,” the woman returns politely. “Claire Dearing, Operations Manager of the park.”

“Oh!” Felicity can’t help the excited smile as she shakes her hand. “Felicity Smoak, CEO of Queen Incorporated.”

“Ah, Ms. Smoak, it’s a pleasure to meet you. It is always nice to meet a fellow female professional. I must say, you are so… young.” Her gaze crawls up Felicity from strappy heels past mid-thigh hem to loosely pinned golden curls, and Felicity can see in her eyes the same expression she’s been getting since the IT girl became Executive Assistant, though far less hostile than the eyes in her own company.

“I have been very fortunate—and hard-working, of course. Lots of late nights. In the office, I mean, what else would I mean?” She trails off in a nervous giggle, and tells herself that the Mai Tai buzz isn’t worth the risk of coming off as exactly what people expect of her.

Claire maintains her composure, hands folded in front of her. “I know that the former Queen Consolidated has been beset by numerous challenges through the years, and a fair bit of unfortunate PR. I can certainly relate.”

“Oh, right, of course,” Felicity responds, able to find her focus. “Well, what you’ve done with this place is incredible. The recovery of public trust alone… Perhaps I should have a meeting with your PR team.”

“I am sure that can be arranged,” she says with a well-practiced smile. “And I am quite interested in your relationships with Palmer Technologies and S.T.A.R. Labs—three powerful scientific interests uniting could be a very profitable ally for the Masrani Corporation.”

“I think ‘relationship’ is a little strong, I mean, what even counts as a relationship these days? Not that there isn’t…” Felicity takes a breath and smiles. “I look forward to working with the Masrani Corporation in a way that profits us both.”

She turns to extricate herself, looking at Oliver across the room—who is staring back at her, resembling a forlorn puppy awaiting his master’s return. Claire follows her gaze.

“That’s right, you’re here with Oliver Queen, of course,” Claire says, her tone mildly appreciative. “He does know how to clean up well, doesn’t he? At least some men still do.”

She’s been distracted by a man entering the ballroom, chin lined with stubble to rival Oliver’s and wearing a rough leather vest over a wrinkled gray Henley. She rolls her eyes before turning back to Felicity.

“I’m sure there’s something I have to go deal with,” she says, then pauses, something genuine filling her eyes. “I apologize if I gave the wrong impression earlier—I really am thrilled to see more women in power. More of us can only make it easier, and if you haven’t discovered it yet, it is not easy. Be too professional and career-focused, and you’re a cold bitch doomed to die alone. Be too emotional and family-focused, and you’re a weak, hormonal woman with a biological clock that makes promoting her a risk.” She expels a breath, shaking away the moment of sincerity to return to her business façade. “Good luck, Ms. Smoak, and I look forward to hearing from you. I hope you enjoy the park.”

“Um, thank you,” Felicity says, but Claire has already turned to stalk impatiently over to the man hovering at the end of the buffet table, as he swipes a brownie with one grease-stained hand.

Felicity crosses the ballroom back to Oliver’s side, thinking about the unconventional path her career has taken. Undoubtedly, without Oliver—without their evening activities—she would still be in IT. And without Ray, without his admittedly impulsive and possibly inappropriate promotions, she would not be CEO.

She graduated from MIT near the top of her class—when had her career path been taken over by the whims of men?

When Oliver rises impatiently from the table, plate piled with cream puffs in hand, she can’t find it in herself to regret anything about what brought her to this moment, this man. But now that he’s firmly entrenched in her personal life, she’s determined to make her professional life entirely her own.

First, though, she’s going to enjoy the rest of this vacation to the fullest even if it kills her.

“Let’s go back to the room,” she murmurs in his ear, taking the cream puffs with them as they go, Digg guiltily munching on his own dessert plate as they ride the elevator up to the suite.

And then, kicking the throw pillows onto the floor, lit by moonlight through the windows where only dinosaurs serve as witness, she has her favorite dessert of all.

XXXXX

Being woken by the shrill roars of dinosaurs is a new experience for Oliver, something deep in the animal part of his brain startling him awake with a pounding heart even though he’s wrapped in luxurious sheets beneath a shimmering canopy. But in the soft light of dawn, and with the lazy heat of Felicity’s body curled beside his own, he can relax back into grogginess.

He slides his hand up her bare back, gratified by the shifting stretches of her muscles as she twists deeper into the pillows and mumbles sleepily. As she squirms against him, he presses whiskery kisses into the curve of her neck and shoulder, into the hair that smells like coconut. But when his hand slips around her hip, skimming up her stomach to graze his fingertips between her breasts, she finally turns to squint one bleary, make-up-smeared eye at him.

“What time is it?” she grumbles.

He looks over at the alarm clock. “8:17.”

“Then we can’t.” She swats his hand away from her chest, turning onto her stomach as though to thwart his advances, but it just presents a new target as his hand roams down her back. “Oliver, I want to be at the park entrance when it opens at nine.”

“And your point is?” He marks a trail of kisses down her spine.

“I need coffee, and a shower—alone—and to pack a bag, and coffee, and to check my e-mail, and did I mention coffee?” She’s turned her head towards him, voice still scratchy with sleep, words blowing strands of the tousled blonde hair thrown over her face.

“Is that your way of asking me to get you some coffee?”

“No, this is: can you get me some coffee?” She shifts forward to kiss his shoulder, hand resting briefly over his heart, and then she’s sitting up in the tangle of sheets, all bare skin and ruffled hair and sleepy yawns. Still holding his heart in her hands.

“I think there’s a Starbucks downstairs in the lobby,” she adds. “Is that too much?”

“No, that’s fine.” He wakes up quickly, since the island scrubbed away the luxury of slow morning routines, and the only time he lingers in bed is when there’s someone lingering with him. “The usual?”

“I’m thinking something decadent—I’m on vacation.” Then she’s sauntering her gorgeous ass into the bathroom, and it takes a great deal of his hard-won discipline not to follow her.

Instead, he dresses in cargo pants and a dark gray t-shirt, and finds Diggle sitting out in the main room watching the news.

“Sleep well?” Diggle asks with a smirk, and Oliver wonders how soundproof the walls are. He’s lived enough of an exhibitionist life not to be embarrassed, but he knows Felicity would be. However, Digg’s not the type to enjoy voyeurism; most likely, he just knows them well enough to presume.

“Very,” Oliver says simply. “I’m going down to get coffee, you need anything?”

“Already had some. You want me to stay here with Felicity?”

Oliver only has to give a quick jerk of his chin, and then he’s striding towards the elevator. Bringing a bodyguard on vacation—where no “evening activities” were needed—had felt more than a little unnecessary, but he has to admit the idea of someone else watching over Felicity eases his deepest, ever-present fears. After everything he’s lost, he’s not sure that feeling will ever go away.

He’s just done letting it keep him from living.

By the time he returns to the room, Felicity’s showered and dressed, hair pulled back and glasses on, sitting with Digg on the couch. She reaches for the coffee with grabby hands and sweeps her fingertip through the whipped cream, sucking it off her finger innocently enough, but he still looks away.

“When you checked in with Lyla last night, everything was…?” Oliver asks Digg.

“Fine, Oliver. Star City has not fallen apart without you.”

“I know,” he says, trying to sound nonchalant but it comes out a little defensive. He did spend five months away with Felicity; he knows they don’t need him. That doesn’t mean he can’t worry, does it?

“I’ve been Instagramming back and forth with Thea,” Felicity says. “They’re okay.” Her tone is understanding rather than teasing; they got so attuned to each other during their time away. He’s so glad that didn’t go away when they came back.  

The weather for the day is supposed to be beautiful, if hot. Felicity even eschews her usual dresses for the casual practicality of shorts with multiple pockets and a polka dot tank top. Both he and Digg assure her they’ll be fine in t-shirts and pants.

But she still tugs him into the bedroom and demands he wear sunscreen.

“Oliver, all your manliness is not going to protect you from melanoma,” she scolds, as he quirks one eyebrow at her. She grabs his face in her hands, pulls him down towards her and kisses him softly and slowly, then pulls away only an inch to add, “I plan on you being around for a long time.”

“If you insist,” he says, letting her nudge him onto the bed and sitting still for her ministrations.

As her hands smooth the lotion over his bare arms in massaging circles, he feels taken care of in a way he’d nearly forgotten. The closest thing is medical attention from his friends, but that is always tinged with worry and pain and guilt and secrets. This is pure love, and he closes his eyes as her gentle touch circles around his temples, across his cheekbones and forehead, working through the scratch of his stubble and around the back of his neck. Even over the tips of his ears.

“Now you,” he says, his voice so calm and low it surprises even him. What surprises him more is that it’s not desire but contentment, an intimacy deeper than sex.

“I can do my own,” she says with a shrug, but he takes the bottle from her hands.

His rough hands are slick with sunscreen as he rubs it into her skin, working up the sloping lines of her legs, teasing under the hem of her shorts but darting away before she playfully smacks them. Slowly peeling down the straps of her top to bare her shoulders, he runs his fingertips along her collarbone and around her shoulder blades, feeling the fragile strength of her skeleton beneath his hands. He tries to give her face the same reverent attention she gave his, her nose scrunching at the tickle of his calluses.

“You guys want to make the opening, or you want me to take a walk around the block?” Digg calls through the closed door, invoking one of their code phrases.

“We’re almost ready,” Felicity calls back, then blinks at Oliver as she pulls his hands away. “Thank you,” she whispers shyly, and he kisses her cheek, lips sliding in the greasy layer of lotion on her skin.

Freed from the spell of the moment, Felicity rises from the bed and grabs up her tiny backpack, stuffing the bottle of sunscreen into it along with her phone, a flashlight, a water bottle, her prescription sunglasses in their case, granola bars, a pack of playing cards, and a Swiss army knife. When she crams a compact first aid kit in there as well, Oliver laughs and shakes his head.

“You know we’re going to be with a docent the whole time, one who’ll probably rush off to get us anything we might need,” Oliver says, as Felicity hurls the nearly-bursting thing around her shoulders.

“I’ve gotten used to having money, or being around people who have money,” she says, slipping on a double pair of socks and sneakers, with Band-Aids in her bag for blisters. “And when it comes to private flights or hotel suites, I have to admit it’s pretty nice. But I’m not going to send a poor employee running across the park for an aspirin if I get a headache.”

She walks past him out into the main room, and he thinks about how wrong all those tabloids are when they suggest she’s a gold-digger or spoiled by the occasional Louboutins.

Not for the first time, he’s so glad she saw right through him—so he could get a chance to see her.

“Let’s go!” she calls eagerly from the doorway, and he and Digg follow her out into the hallway.

And then they leave the hotel behind… for the last time.

Notes:

Okay, I went on a bit of a tangent—but Jurassic World did have problems, and most of those had to do with Claire. I just wanted to give her the defense that her own writers didn’t, even if it was somewhat OOC.

Thanks for reading!

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