#esc 20

It's that time of the year again, Eurovision is getting rolling and I'm about to watch the first batch of Eurovision contributions and leave reviews for them.

Latvia: Still Breathing - Samanta Tina: Simultaneously the most and the least Eurovision Song I've ever heard. In any way I don't think Eurovision as an institution is ready for rap (or whatever that was). Also: Epilepsy warning. 7 points

Croatia: Divlji Vjetre - Damir Kedzo: Astonishingly average. I'm a little torn here, non-English songs are of course always good, but at the same time it's the same melodramatic pop song we get like 10 of every year. Prediction: this is gonna score average but never top scores except from neighbours. 5 points. A little boring.

Estonia: What love is - Uku Suviste: Very generic. I always expect feral Energy from Estonia and it always disappoints. 5 points

Lithuania: On Fire - The Roop: Surprisingly good. I liked it. Partially bc weird mirror action and the weirdest dance moves I've ever seen. 10 points.

UK: My last breath - James Newman: Without listening to anything please take a moment to acknowledge how dramatic that title is. Very mediocre but then what did I expect from the UK. I still think you people should know that there's good music that isn't Ed Sheeran. Also is that Wimhoff? 7 points

France: The best in me - Tom Leeb: I was a bit shocked when I saw the title bc the day France contributes an English song to Eurovision is the day I die. That being said: boring, also: we get it, the Eiffel tower is in France. It's been there for more than a century. 3 points, you can do better.

Poland: Empires - Alicja Szemplińska: Poland never fails to deliver. This song does not fuck around. That font in the background gave me cancer though. 10 points, best one so far.

Ukraine: Solovey - Go_A: Fuck, that's amazing. Listen ... I'm a simple woman. That particular style of singing is just so amazing, I can't. Just ... Everything about this is just so good! 12 points

Spain: Universo - Blas Cantó: Very Spanish, not as much of a wow factor as the two before. Love the aesthetics of the video though. 8 points.

Belgium: Release Me - Hooverphonic: Love how dramatic it is. Also: Orchestra in Eurovision. 8 points

Norway: Attention - Ulrikke: Meh. Angsty ballade. 5 points

Australia: Don't Break Me - Montaigne: It's alright. Again: at this point the bar is very high. It's very Australia, by which I mean "Good enough to make top 5, not good enough to win". 8 points

Belarus: Da Vidna - VAL: I like it. But wtf is up with those hands also, pleas no PDA on MY Eurovision stage. 8 points

Germany: Violent Thing - Ben Dolic: Very horny teenager club song vibes. It's ok I guess, we've had WAY WORSE contributions. 7 points