#envytastic

who makes the breakfast:Momoi. While having Kagami on speakerphone. XD (Notably, every one of these calls begins with Kagami going, “Uh, whatever you’re about to do? Don’t do that,” which has prevented, among other things, the use of mayonnaise in the thickening of an omelet, the substitution of chili for red miso powder, and talking her down from taking a panicky meat mallet to the sauteed-squid-to-be after accidentally spilling soy sauce on it.) who’s the one to cry for everything:Ok don’t tell anyone but Aomine absolutely, totally, has an internal cry the day his daughter comes home from school and excitedly tells her parents that she’s signed up for the school swim team because a) NO BASKETBALL???? HIS GENES HAVE FAILED?!?!?!! and b) what do you mean that club is co-ed?!?!(“Dai-chan,” says Satsuki with a sweet smile that promises something between murder and making him watch The Princess Diaries thirty times in a row, “do stop trying to sneak pepper spray into her schoolbag, would you?”)

who’s the more disciplined parent and who’s the more lenient one:*snerk* Momoi is the disciplined AND the lenient parent, depending on who she’s talking to.

who helps with the science fair:Aomine is so fucking excited to be building a soda volcano you have no idea and it needs more soda and more smoke and a sea of fire all around FUCK YEAH!!! Momoi spends the rest of the day apologizing to the fire department and trying to keep the other tenants of the apartment building from signing a petition to have them evicted. who does baby talk:No but Aomine totally has long rambling conversations with the baby ever since Momoi was like, “You should try talking to her more so she can get used to your scary perpetual growl” after they realized the kid would start crying whenever Aomine talks. And at first he’s like wtf do you talk to a baby about??? but after a while he gets weirdly into telling her about stuff like his day and his training and about how the assistant coach is a total dickwad who deserves a basketball to the fa––– oh shit you did not hear me say dickwad. oh shit you did not hear me say shit either. Satsu’s gonna kill me if those are the first words out of your mouth seriously forget you ever heard them, ok?

who wakes up for midnight feedings: Aomine. XD He does not have the high-performance sports management job and also his contributions to the baby were over in five minutes flat, he didn’t spend four hours in total agony trying to push a small human out of––– ok ok geez!!!!! *stumbles hastily out of bed* (AND IT WAS TOTALLY NOT “FIVE MINUTES”, SATSU!!!)

who’s the one who always worries:Uh, neither. Momoi’s far too sensible and organized and Aomine is too thick-headed to worry until something’s already happened. XD

who picks up the kids early from school for some fun:Aomine likes his manbits where they belong, thanks very much.

who’s the competitive parent:No, but Aomine totally tries to show off in front of all the kids during “bring your kid to work” day and at all the GoM meet-ups and NONE of the kids buy it.who kisses the ouches:Obvs. Momoi is extremely good at the whole “pain, pain, fly away” thing (the one time Aomine tried he patted the scraped knee too hard and set off another round of crying and oh god what do I do now).

who’s the sucker for the puppy eyes: XD Their kid does not have to resort to puppy eyes. Their kid simply has to lean over and sing-song whisper, “If I get a candy bar, I won’t tell mom about the bad word you said~~~~~“

(Sometimes Aomine doesn’t even remember saying a bad word, but better safe than Satsuki. >.>)

who makes the “dad jokes”:Dunno. Having a daughter kind of curtails all of Aomine’s boob puns so he’s right out of horrible one-liners.

who embarrasses their kid for fun: Embarrassed is kind of their default state when your father is Aomine Daiki. XD If he’s not trying to get all your friends to think he’s cool, then he’s calling you embarrassing basketball-themed nicknames you grew out of when you were two eughghgh.

who’s the over-protective one:*points above*

Sometimes Kagami is a bit weirded out by how not weirded out he is about having a dog in the house. He’s still a bit awkward around Nigou sometimes, but that’s mainly because he’s been afraid of dogs for so long, he’s never really figured out how to act around them.

Plus, he’s never had any kind of pet himself before, so there are times when he still startles when suddenly there’s the pitter-patter of paws on the hardwood floor, or quiet growly noises coming from where Nigou’s managed to wedge himself in the genkan shoebox in search of a toy.

(The only place in the house Nigou is absolutely banned from is the bedroom, mainly because there was one time Kagami woke up to a bizarre wet sensation on his feet and yep, there’s A DOG TRYING TO DEVOUR MY TOES––––!!!!

took him a bit to realize it was just a bored puppy. his brain’s kinda not the most alert at six in the morning)

But yeah, by the time he and Kuroko truly move in together, he’s pretty much used to Nigou, even though it’s getting ever more apparent that Nigou is determined to not stop growing until he’s achieved the size of an 18-wheeler or something.

(And that 18-wheeler will still roll over and beg for bellyrubs like a puppy, too)

Also, Kagami totally has out of the blue conversations with Nigou. Not like dog-talk, but “talking to him like he’s a human with opinions”. He doesn’t plan to, it kinda just happens.

“So, what do you think, meat or fish?”*doggie huff*“Yeah, guess so, plus we could make dashi with the leftovers. Oh hey, the red snapper is on sale!”*doggie ears perk*