#entry6

.....So I put my two weeks in today. 

I thought I would regret it the second I told my manager but I didn’t. I was happy. I’m excited to move on. But I’m scared. My last day officially will be August 30th.

I’m moving back in with my mom in October. I’m... both excited and not excited at the same time, for reasons I’m sure you can guess. I’m excited because I’ll have my own space again, be able to watch tv, use the kitchen, see my cats, and be able to use the gym that’s in that complex. I’m not excited because I’ll be paying rent for a chaotic home life, and it basically feels like I’m buying the decline of my mental health. Since moving away from that place, I have been much happier as a person just as a whole. But I just don’t have it in me to keep working like this, especially in a job whose values don’t align with my own and especially in a job where I can’t look the way I want to. No dyed hair, no piercings, a uniform that - in my opinion - is far too strict. Shoes can’t be multiple colors, it needs to be all white or all black? Come on. 

I don’t live to work, and honestly I shouldn’t need to overwork to live. And if I do, then I’m going to make sure I can express who I am while doing it. We’re all different, and I think companies should recognize and accept that, especially with the new generations. 

After all, we are in the age of aquarius. 

For exactness' sake, I'll write something quick about the Blangonga I was told about a few days ago, although this is not my main point today.

What can I say? It's a pretty imposing beast, compared with most of the other Monsters I've seen in the mountain so far.

I honestly expected a challenging hunt after what the villagers told me (my retired friend repelled it in the past, without killing it), but maybe it was too tired to leave again, or too weak because of its past fights... Either way I defeated it without too much trouble.

No, what kept my mind busy today is something more... Wyvern-like. A Tigrex, as they call it; come back in the area for easy food. Not saying that its size and jaws scared me – after all, no matter how much the villagers attempted to talk me out of hunting it with the light armor I'm wearing, I won, and only at the cost of a few Mega Potions – but it is said to have been the cause of my memory deficiency from the other day.

How?... By making me fall?... As far as I know, I've never had any injury on my head deep enough to have made me forget so much. And I swear I saw this Monster's silhouette, before passing out in the cold snow.

Alexandra Bochkareva -

“Let me introduce you the Foxes series dedicated to the unity and beauty of redheads.I'm blessed with such a talented Muses, who always go above and beyond for me, and lucky to met wonderful Alice, the Fox.”

You’re missing from me

It’s been exactly a week since we parted ways and I miss you. I don’t think of you all day anymore, but you’re consistently there - in every corner of my thoughts and actions. I’ve been trying so hard to move on and let acceptance do its course.

But I miss you.

Especially at night when my mind roams free.

At night when I feel the most alone.

And when I used to feel your presence always.

Mainit na usapin ang climate change ngayon sa yugto ng nabubulok na kapitalismo. Ramdam na ramdam sa bansa natin ang malalakas na bagyo at init na kayang tunawin ang ice cream matapos lamang ang 10 segundo. Sa lungsod, kitang kita mula sa malayo pa lamang kung paano tayo tinatakpan ng isang malaking ulap ng smog. Siguro kung marami kang pera nalang talaga makakapagpabulag sa’yo sa dumi ng Pilipinas ngayon. Kung sabagay mga billionaire at multinasyunal na kumpanya naman ang mayorya sa dahilan kung bakit bumibilis ang climate change. 

Kita kung gaano kalala ang sitwasyon sa Pilipinas sa diskusyon ni Engr. Yap noong Lunes. Ang kanyang naging talakayan ay mas pag-update sa kasalakuyang lagay ng kalikasan ng mundo at ng Pilipinas sa iilang pag-aaral at datos. Nararamdaman naman natin ang epekto ng global warming ngayon pero iba ang makita ang aktwal na datos ukol dito. Ito ang mga mapapakita mo sa climate change deniers gaya ng presidente ng imperyalistang US, na sa pagkakaalam ko ang militar nila ang numero unong nag-aambag sa global warming. (Read more) 

Nadarama natin ang pinakamalala na epekto ng global warming dahil sa lokasyon natin sa equator at katabi pa ang karagatang Pasipiko. Mas mabilis mabuo ang mga bagyo kapag mainit ang tubig doon - ipagsabay mo pa ito sa napakainit na panahon: babagyuhin o matutunaw? Hindi talaga parehas ang karanansan natin ng climate change sa developed countries. Base nga sa datos na ipinakita ni Engr. Yap ukol sa pinakaangat na bansa ukol sa kalidad ng kalikasan, top 20 doon ay galing sa Europa o US. Kaya hindi mo rin talaga matatanggal sa usapin ng global warming ang makauring katangian nito. Tayo, at ibang third world countries, ang tinatambakan ng basura ng mga “mauunlad” na bansa na ito. Kayang kaya rin gumawa ng huwad na krisis ng tubig (dahil kaunti nalang ang freshwater daw) para lamang mapapasok ang mga dayuhang kumpanya, gaya ng Tsina, para ipatayo ang Kaliwa Dam. Ipinapasa pa ang pasan ng air pollution sa PUV drivers dahil hindi raw sila sumasang-ayon sa kasalakuyang porma ng PUV phaseout. Sila nga ‘tong ibinalik sa Euro-2 mula Euro-4 ang gasolina dahil ikalulugi ng mga kumpanya nila ang pagtaas ng presyo nito. Wasak-wasak na rin ang Zambales mountain range at Pantaron mountain range dahil minimina ito ng mga dayuhang mining companies, kasabay pa ang pagpapalayas sa mga pambansang minorya. 

Kailangan talaga natin iangat mula sa indibidwal na pananagutan para sa kalikasan na mayroong sistemang ang pundasyon nito ay pagsamantalahan ang mga natural na rekurso. Basta nakaupo ang mga nagpapairal ng sistemang ito ay hindi magbabago ang mga polisiya -- maaaring nakapagtatag ng iilang polisiya (Clean Air Act / Clean Water Act / Ecological Solid Waste Management Act) ngunit sablay pa rin ang pagsasakatuparan nito sa praktika. Hindi ako tutol sa pagsunod ng 4 R’s (na may isa pa palang R) at pagtapon sa tamang basurahan, ngunit kung ayaw natin na lumubog ang buong Maynila sa taong 2035, nararapat na yanigin ang Malacañang para seryosohin nila ang panawagan ng mamamayan. Sabi nga ni Greta Thunberg sa harap ng mga politiko at bilyunaryo: How dare you!