May be up for a promotion/role change at work and I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up too much because it would be incredible for me but plz if u have any good luck/vibes to spare I would greatly appreciate

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May be up for a promotion/role change at work and I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up too much because it would be incredible for me but plz if u have any good luck/vibes to spare I would greatly appreciate

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We had to sacrifice Jayvik to get confirmed old man yaoi, equivalent exchange I guess I’m not mad
Ah, another day of feeling that weird, lopsided “something isn’t right” feeling 24/7 with no apparent end
An incredible gift given to me yesterday for my birthday. 1909 1st edition, and a note that made me cry. It's very fragile but I'm excited to read it
The cinematic throwdown fight in my head that eventually plays out between Bell and Alpha at the peak of their divorce era tho 😩 I wish I could animate because I need them to destroy each other gladiator style

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I know I'm just crashing from the high of such a good weekend, but my god I got slamdunked into the BIG sad zone
Endo I'm on my knees I'm pleading tell me abt alphabell I'll owe you everything
Oh sweet anon 😌 they are everything to me lol
Theyre in love, they hate each other, they're married, they're twice divorced, they're cosmically intertwined, they're both black holes trying to rip the universe apart, do you feel me???
But so basically my brain went full force on the headcanons with these guys. Somewhere in an ask I think I talked a bit about what's going on with Bell in my headcanons, but to boil it all down sorta quickly: both Alpha and Bell are both extremely old ghouls, like Omega, and thusly are tied to a much older, sacred power. Before their time serving as ghouls to the clergy, they'd been at the top of the food chain for lack of a better word in the pit, both were incredibly power hungry and seeking ultimate control. For a time they were partners, then lovers, and intertwined their power to achieve their shared goals.
Bell became particularly ruthless and impulsive and after some time, a plot to destroy him was set into motion, one that Alpha was made instrumental in. Without going too deep into all my bullshit, Bell was essentially stripped entirely of his power, memories, etc and left as a husk of what he was. He has fits of memories, feels he's lost something and is always searching for that piece. He can't recall who or what he was exactly, doesn't quite remember what he even looked like, or anything about how powerful he was/almost was.
Alpha remembers it all though. He avoided punishment for his own crimes by assisting in the take down of Bell. They're still bound though, and Alpha watches from afar and tries not to think too hard about what they once were.
Give me strength to get over the shame, guilt and self hatred for having to call out of work 2 days in a row during mandatory OT because of illness/insane migraines the past 2 days