I saw that you already indicated a circumstance in which Ryland would get into a relationship, but I was wondering if you could elaborate! I'm really interested in reading how he thinks and feels about getting into a relationship. Like would he open the conversation? Would he need to be confessed to by an extremely trusted person? How long would he need to consider it? What sort of emotions would he feel? How does he feel about moving in with partners or other allonormative milestones?
ㅤ.𖥔 ˚ · from this post . ݁ ˖ִ ࣪ ㅤ* you are such a godsend to me , i hope you know . there is nothing i want more than to answer more questions like this so i can talk more about this topic for grace ! his being aroace is so important to me , i could yap for hours …
to be frank , i think it would be really rare that grace would be the one to open the conversation , unless he was absolutely certain that this was a person he wouldn't mind becoming close to in ways he wouldn't normally be close to another person with . like , very very rare that he feels thing in that case in general . this is not to say that he doesn't view a person as ' the one ' for lack of a better term . he simply looks at everything strictly through a platonic lens , which means it's difficult for him to decipher when his own feelings have transcended from platonic to ' oh no i have a crush ' . the butterflies in his stomach could very well be attributed to anxiety instead of excitement . not to mention his autism plays a part in his difficulty deciphering when other people feel that way towards him , so it's a double whammy of misinterpretation . when the stars align , or he begins to notice his behaviors with another have felt different , he will absolutely bring it up in a ' hey i've noticed … ' since there's no room for misinterpreting through words .
being confessed to by an extremely trusted person is the ideal scenario for him because of the reasons stated above . it's not that he wants to put the responsibility of the confession on the other person , he just needs it spelled out to him most times . like , this is the man who didn't realize lokken had some sort of small crush on him , academic or otherwise . it just plain doesn't even cross his mind sometimes ! but when that person is very trusted , yes , it makes it easier for him to move forward with it . will he be surprised that it's him they're crushing on ? absolutely . i don't think he'll ever fully accept that because it's just so … not a thing he pictured in his life .
but with that conversation open , he'll be much more inclined to go back and think to himself ' oh … actually i do really like this person . i think i would really like to have them in my life like this ' which may last anywhere from a few days of thinking about it to a few weeks . not an extreme amount of time , but probably more than the usual amount for people who experience the typical allonormative feelings . enough time for him to mentally prepare and start feeling comfortable with the notion of even thinking about it . about himself in that relationship with that specific person . it really helps if they're already okay with physical touch , like holding hands , hugging , etc . he can do all these things platonically . moving from doing these platonically do doing these under a romantic guise is way easier than being expected to suddenly start exhibiting these behaviors with someone . at first he'll still feel a little off about it , unpracticed , out of place . but the more he's with someone and these behaviors become a normal everyday thing , the less he starts to view it as unconnected to himself and the more ingrained it becomes in his behavior . exposure therapy works on the scientist .
he would not be opposed to moving in with a partner when it gets to that point ! like yes , he is actually extremely fine living on his own , doing things by himself with no one around . hanging out by himself . in his own house . this is what he thought his life would be . he's confident in that situation . with someone else around now , he knows it's pretty normal that they would expect to either move in with him , or move to a new place together . this is a normal person thing , a human culture norm . he will want them around at this point . just … needs some space where it's just his things . he can't have everything all mixed with the other person's .
marriage is iffy though . that's a huge hit or miss . there's so much that goes into it , people have to witness it , and he doesn't feel about that as much at all . it's just so final . the last huge milestone that cements a relationship . he's always afraid of things falling through . a lot of things have fallen through in his life . getting married isn't a guarantee of a relationship lasting forever . life is cruel . he cannot picture himself standing at an altar and watching someone walk down it for him , or vice versa . it's weird . it's weird .
he will be hard-pressed to have any kids of his own , biologically . having one of his own takes resources , takes money , takes sleepless nights , and then goes for the rest of his life . he has the schoolchildren to teach already . but it's also not impossible . there are , however , ways in which certain little tiny children ( we are looking at @earthssprout … ) can wiggle their way into his heart and have him considering adoption though . that's after a long , long think . circumstances withstanding , and with plenty of preparation beforehand . but in general , even with a partner , literally having his own children is a very difficult thing to convince him to get into .
݁ ˖ִ ࣪ ㅤ*ㅤ UNPROMPTED . / 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 .
