independent , private , &. plot-driven rp blog for dr. captain ryland grace from andy weir's project hail mary (novel) &. project hail mary (2026) . book-canon with movie influences . written by kat , she/her , 30 . i am not affiliated with andy weir . read my carrd ! no minors please . do not use ai in your responses for me or i'll block you . please let me know if i haven't responded in a week , i may have missed drafting it . please do not follow me if you are binge-following every ryland grace blog in the rpc .
ㅤㅤ⁰¹⋆ on followers + following . no minors please . in fact , i'd be more comfortable with people over the age of 21 due to my own age . i am not interested in keeping a large following of people i do not interact with , or who do not at least like my posts every once in a while . whenever i'm on the dash , i try to do the same courtesy . also , sometimes i don't keep up with developments in the rpc , so if you ever see me interacting with anyone who has been proven to be problematic in the past or even recently , please let me know so that i can cut it off . please don't follow me if you have no intention of ever writing with me . i like to keep a clean dash full of people i am speaking to and who wish to interact with my characterization . i do regular cleanups that involved softblocking those who don't seem interested . if you're the type of person who will follow every single ryland blog you find , please try not to follow me . i don't like feeling like just a number , and i'm here to plot meaningful dynamics instead of being ' just another ryland grace blog on the dash. '
ㅤㅤ⁰²⋆ on shipping . like everyone , i love shipping , but i'm not someone wants to jump into it without proper development beforehand . i prioritise and often populate my blogs with primarily platonic or non-ship-oriented threads . i practice ship exclusivity , which means i will only ship with one version of a character , and i expect the same courtesy , meaning if your muse ships with another grace , unless you are a very very close friend , i will not ship him with that muse , period . [ … ] on a related note , please don't ask to write smut if we barely know each other and / or haven't written any "regular" threads together . i do write smut with those i ship with , mostly on discord , but pwp doesn't interest me at all , so save us both time and don't ask . i'd write 10 fluff threads over a smut thread any day . i am also not open to shipping if we don't at least write threads on here . again , i am not interested in immediately shipping if we don't have something built up first , and it makes me feel like people don't appreciate it if they don't at least try to answer asks that i send or write some form of thread on here .
ㅤㅤ⁰³⋆ IMPORTANT . i understand that grace is a canon character and everyone's interpretations of him are different . but please do not impose what you think grace would do or how he would react on my interpretation . please also do not try to ship without first plotting out a thorough friendship between them , because both i and grace need chemistry in order for that to work . otherwise i personally will not be invested . my grace is aroace and does not feel sexual attraction . he is sex-neutral . romance is not a need in his life , but he is capable of showing it , just rarely .
ㅤㅤ⁰⁴⋆ on content . triggering content will occasionally be present on this blog . i tag all my triggers with "trigger //" for reference .
ㅤㅤ⁰⁵⋆ on activity . i work a full time job , monday-friday . please respect that in regards to my activity . i'm very active on discord , so feel free to ask me for it .
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colt doesn't really remember much of what happened . the doctors said he'd hit his head too , when he fell , so that's probably why -- there's a nice knot back there still to prove it , nothing worse , thank god . nothing worse . but the last thing he can clearly recall is the right before , the team double checking the closures on his harness , the guide held between his hands as he placed his feet at the edge of a chasm , his back to the unknown . and he could hear the echoing : action , action , action ! and he was falling , and that was . . . it . ( there are ems somewhere , mumbling a story about colt half conscious on the stretcher , groaning and trying to lift his hand , and he's saying , over and over again : where's ryland ? ) but he remembers his brother . that's the first thing he remembers . its the only thing he wants to remember , that despite the pain and the fear and the great yawning uncertainty of a future hanging in front of him -- he got to wake up to ryland .
and it wasn't even because of the water , this time . because colt had promised . while ryland's back was turned , he'd promised to stop being so difficult . because he felt bad . he felt so bad , and his brother had to do nearly everything for him , and he was frustrated that he could barely stand up on his own without his legs shaking , and he'd gotten loud . just for a second . ryland was trying to put a hand under his arm , ryland was just trying to help . but colt was so mad at himself , and he'd tried to turn away -- except he's not supposed to do that , and thank god the brace had caught the movement , except his hips still moved , and he'd gasped out an oh , fuck and nearly thrown up at the dizzying wave of pain . and ryland was still trying to put that hand under his arm and he'd snapped ryland -- please . and by the time he was in the bathroom , he'd felt like the worst person in the world , and had promised to stop . and he just . . . he forgot .
there's this sick , angry , frustrated tangle of emotion in his chest that he can't unravel . can't pick his way through . and now he's near tears again , his brain fighting against itself , curving and collapsing in like an airbag deflating after a crash . and his breath is a catch in the back of his throat when he whispers , " i'm sorry . " its a childhood whisper , one offered a million times before , as they lay back to back . i'm sorry i was loud , i'm sorry i got us into trouble again , i'm sorry i forgot , i'm sorry i got distracted , i'm sorry . but he's holding out his shaking hand anyways , putting the pill in his mouth , and doing what he's told . there's a sniffle . the crescent of his thumbnail dragging a slow back and forth against his other wrist , but not hard enough to dig in . " if i don't stick out my tongue are you gonna reach in and grab it like you did last time ? " so he concedes , tips his head and opens his mouth , and hopes he can still be forgiven , even when he's like this .
colt is sorry . he has always been sorry . ryland can't remember a time his brother hadn't been sorry about something : about the scratch on ryland's arm and the bruises against his bone when he'd fought greg porter with his fists in the sixth grade for bullying colt and gotten himself a detention over it ; about the frustrated tears in ryland's eyes after he'd had to sit in his room instead of watching his favorite show on television because he was grounded for a week for fighting greg porter with his fists . always sorry .
but ryland is never angry over anything for long . not when it comes to colt . i'm sorry , whispers his brother , about the way ryland withdraws after they reach the bathroom so that he can process his situation all over again in the irritability it causes him , without some sort of annoying force trying to act upon it . there's only so much he can do before the tectonic movements of his efforts cannot combat the earthquake of colt's spirit . he will not be stupid about it because he can afford not to be . ❝ hey . hey , ❞ comes ryland's response , while his brother melts in his remorse . ❝ listen to me , okay . it's okay . you're supposed to be angry about all this , okay ? i'd be more worried if you weren't . right ? i get really , really mad sometimes when i'm in a lot of pain , because it doesn't feel good . you should be destroying the world about all this . i know i would be . ❞ ( i forgive you . i don't blame you . i love you . )
his smile is weak . colt is too good-hearted for that . for a guy able to take a flamethrower and a slam against a wall and a tumble down an elevator shaft eight times in a row , he's got the softest insides of anyone ryland's ever met . he makes sure to treat those soft insides kindly when he places the slow-release painkiller in the middle of colt's tongue , holds the glass of water up and tilts it not-too-severely . ❝ there it goes . and yeah . ❞ he pinches the tip of colt's tongue once he's over , moving it up to check underneath it . it's not hiding in the pockets of his cheeks , either , so he'd say it's good and gone . ❝ i will be reaching in and grabbing it . that'll take about an hour to help . if you think about it really hard , it might take twenty , though . ❞ placebo effect . it works wonders on ryland before the actual good stuff kicks in . he'd learned that when he was eight , and the doctor had told him his tibia would stop hurting so bad if he told it to stop hurting . ❝ you wanna go lie down ? or you just wanna sit ? ❞
it's rare that he gets a chance to work on cases like this. joshua tends to spend his time in the deadlands. he's the one of the resident doctor's at the free clinic and it fills his cup in ways he never thought possible. he always wants to help, always wants to use his inherited wealth to better the world.
but, he didn't graduate from the best medical school in the world with honors for nothing. when he was contacted to do a physical, he didn't quite to expect. it must be for someone serious if he was contacted and whisked away.
as he steps into the exam room, he's a bit anxious in a way that he cannot explain. he's so used to those in his home clinic. those who tease him for being clive's baby brother and about his lanky build.
joshua stops to knock on the frame of the door before stepping in. 'mr. grace?' he looks up from the chart in his hands. 'i'm dr. rosfield, and i'll be looking over you today.'
rosfield , rosfield , rosfield … it's a distinct name . grace hasn't met a single other rosfield in his life , except one . it's been a while . it's been ' a trip to space and back ' awhile , but he'd never forget clive rosfield and his playful little jabs about the volume of the science class next door , his appreciation for tolkien . ‘ shouldn’t you be the one teaching the sci-fi unit ? ’ the thought still makes grace scoff . the closest thing to a science fiction book he gets to teach to a middle school science class is ' the hot zone ' and that's not even science fiction .
this doctor is young . like , really young . like ‘ should probably still be in residency ’ young . not long enough to get into specialized medical education , surely . and aside from striking blue that settles amongst a familiar curve of the cheekbone , he looks fairly dissimilar to his teacher friend . that blonde ? couldn't be a brother , could it ? not that all brothers look exactly like each other . okay . maybe his point of view is a little skewed by colt . but still , dr. rosfield looks not-very-rosfield in grace's mind .
he doesn't realize he's been watching the doctor in total silence for a really weird amount of seconds until about four really weird seconds have passed . ❝ hi . ❞ one really weird second's pause . he doesn't even care about pain of his burns that never goes away , or his neuro-ocular syndrome . ❝ are you related to someone named clive rosfield ? ❞
checked the server for the game i'm modding for today and they are arguing whether or not pluto is a planet and whether the term ' dwarf planet ' is an insult to science . fantastic morning to everyone .
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leah is pretending realllllly hard that the book she's reading is more interesting than the kooky little scientist poking around ... her nose is peaking over the top of the cover ; subtlety is lost, ❛ is that a drawing of a rock, or a spider?? ❜
grace wouldn’t call himself well-versed in art by any means . he can’t imagine anything off the top of his head and put it down on paper , and he can barely tell where he pencil needs to go and how hard he needs to press to get the right shade of pencil-grey . still , it was easy enough to mimic the outline of rocky’s carapace when he’d kept so much footage of him around . pictures , the recordings he’d been allowed to keep .
he’s just finished propping the paper with the crudely drawn rocky up against the monitor when the younger and slightly off-putting woman asks her question . not a surprise , considering it's right where she can glance up and look directly at it . ❝ this ? uh … ❞ how is he supposed to explain that , actually , this drawing is both of a rock and a spider . there’s such a thing in this universe that exists as both : at the very least when it comes to human vocabulary . ❝ so .... you’re not going to like the answer if you have a fear of rocks or spiders . ❞
well i posted that and i immediately want to talk platonic . anyways did you know that ryland grace is really , really good at showing his affection platonically ? kat are you about to start talking about colt ? yeah i am . as i was saying , before i rudely interrupt myself . ryland learned a lot of how to show affection beside his twin brother , clinging to colt whenever himself or his brother felt bad in any way ; telling his brother ' i love you ' since the moment he realized what the feeling of love was , as easily as breathing ; sticking close to his brother and holding onto his arm , or letting his brother hold onto his arm , whenever they went somewhere they weren't so familiar with ; crying because something bad happened to colt and he feels really sad and really bad about it .
he keeps a wall up in his relationships , sure . he said that . he doesn't have many friends , none of whom he speaks to on a regular basis , sure . this is important to remember . i'm talking about the outlier here . although he very rarely gets close enough to people to even tell them they're a good friend , on those rarer occasions where he does end up with a good friend , he will be showing those same aforementioned emotions toward them ( to a lesser degree : the person he is most open with is , and always will be , colt ) . all of those actions are , to him , the easiest platonic emotion in the world . also , it helps when he doesn't have to mask or regulate these emotions around people he trusts . holding this in isn't healthy . he really never had to as a kid , since colt was always there with him . so he won't with his friends , either .
this is not u/ sfw it's just a little mild kick . like mild kick spicy sauce but like not like ' death ' level . since grace is aroace and all but that doesn't mean he doesn't still really like
. .. . . . .. . . . .. ... to make out ? ?/ ???? holy moly man chill out stupid .
Vegetarian? Vegan? He knes what neither term means, but one of them sounded like it might be correct, so he nodded.
"Yes, I am knowing what I am, not human-being: being called 'giant'," Ingvar confirmed, though he likely would have been rather embarrassed if he raised he wasn't answering the question Grace asked, not really. "Humans are being born. Born of two humans..." he paused, brows scrunching together as he tried to remember the right word for what he wanted to describe, but he couldn't. He'd only heard it a few times. "er... you are knowing. Giants such as I, we are not being born. We are not being like animals, either, who are coming from egg. I was being made."
There weren't many things Ingvar was certain of, but he was certain of that fact. Still uplifted by the kind thanks he'd been given, he was eager to continue. "Carved from side of mountain, I was being told, and from thence bequeathed great strength and size."
❝ you were carved from the side of a mountain ? ❞ out of the dozens of possibilities grace's brain has come up with as to how ingvar could possibly be able to exist , none of them touch even close to an explanation like that . a literal mountain man . that's shocking . that's really shocking , and it should be scientifically impossible . rock doesn't contain the necessary cell structures capable of producing life in the same way that living beings do . it's not even the same as plant life . trees can grow . a mass of minerals , while necessary to support life , cannot sustain life on its own without the help of eukaryotic cells to take those minerals and utilize them as a whole .
long story short : yeah , ingvar shouldn't be alive , by definition . not unless magical is real and pigs are flying .
he glances up in the sky . there is a surprising lack of flying pigs up there . he's pretty sure he's not under the influence of drugs or alcohol right now . ❝ wow . do you remember how you were made ? from the side of the mountain ? humans don't tend to remember anything when we're babies . our memories don't really even form until we're , like … three . or four . i don't know . ❞ he can't remember what age his consciousness started existing . ❝ were you a baby , or … ? did you grow ? ❞
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there's one truth colt can't deny , and it's that he always feels more like himself when ryland is around . like he's been put back together , like -- like their separation is an amputation , and maybe that's sort of morbid , but he's a guy who routinely breaks his bones and gets set on fire , so it fits . being away from his twin is like having an arm , or a leg , surgically removed . and he can live with the distance between them , technically . he can adapt , he can move through the world , do his job , live his life -- all completely fine . but he will always be painfully aware of that empty space left behind , he will always feel like something is wrong . and it will only be right when they're together like this .
they're both used to the looks -- and the comments , both whispered behind their backs , and to their faces . the people who expect them to dress identical , to be complete duplicates , like they're a sideshow attraction , or some kind of freaky robots moving in sync ( jesus , remember when he tried to get ryland to learn the bye - bye - bye dance with him ? the hell was he thinking . ) like , yeah they're identical but they're also not . for example ; the bottom of colt's hair has always been darker , and the blue of his eyes has slightly more green in it . but more than that , they're their own people -- like , pretty obviously , he thinks . colt would fail miserably in front of a class of middle schoolers , and you'd have to drag ryland kicking and screaming into the burning wreckage of colt's job -- and that's just one thing .
it started with the dibs though , that was easy for them -- well , easy as it could be for two people who just discovered they were in fact two different people and weren't too keen on the change of being othered . but toppings they could do . it doesn't matter if they end up dissecting and splitting it at the end , if that's how it went with everything ; food , clothes , school supplies . everything given or earned dumped on their bedroom floor and split between them , barters and trades , and yeah sometimes stealing -- they were boys , what do you expect .
" why am i the idiot ? " he's frowning before he even sits down , huffing and watching ryland push the chocolate in , and rolling his eyes , because obviously he's still annoyed at being reminded that he's ' the baby . ' he kicks out a leg under the table , his calf a familiar weight against ryland's shin as he takes a bite , moves the chunk under his tongue to let it melt , head tipping . " alright , what's that saying about glass houses ? do you want to tell me what number cup you're on today -- it's four , ry . because i watched you drink them with my own two eyes . " he sits back , tosses a napkin across the table , " and you know what ? speaking of , just for that nine minutes comment you're buying my next coffee . a dollar for each minute , big bro . "
colt's leg taps against his shin and ryland , on instinct , rolls his shoulders back and straightens against the back of his chair , where he can properly sit up and let their legs rest together without risking slipping out of his seat or paining his waist too much . he has the most difficult little brother in the world . now , some people might think that's just ryland's opinion . but it's not just that . it's also a true , bonafide fact . the guy has the fires of a thousand hells in his eyes for being reminded that he popped out after his twin , and not before . it's been something ryland's used to get under his skin for as long as he can remember . as if being the younger brother is a curse . as if being the younger brother doesn't mean he's had a guardian angel watching over him since before he entered into the world . as if being the younger brother doesn't mean he'll have his older brother here to protect him for his entire life . ryland swears . to himself . quietly . ( he refuses to leave while colt still walks the earth . )
❝ first of all , why're you saying ' big bro ' like it's a slur ? it's the total opposite of a slur ! it's actually a really cool title for only the coolest brothers to have . ❞ the defense plays slightly to the left . it's not the best by any means . colt is better at hitting dirty than ryland is . but ryland can vibe with the comebacks : he knows the way his brother kicks , taking a hard one-eight to get back to catch that humor in its track before it can score . zero-zero , but leaning slightly in the younger brother's favor , gosh darn it . ❝ second of all , you've always been the idiot . ( he always says that in the same way he says : i love you . ) i'm gonna say … you're the idiot this time because you've never heard of the sunset paradise ice cream flavor . i mean , what kind of culture do they have over there in l . a . ? because it's clearly not an ice cream culture . ❞
it's apparently a coffee culture , though . ❝ but i'm so glad you're not idiot enough that you forgot how to count , ❞ comes ryland's mutter , almost indiscernible over the slight din of the mostly empty ice cream shoppe . four cups of coffee . it's grumbling . but they both know he's not mad . colt would never assume the worst in him like that . he taps his calf against colt's . clears his throat , clicks his tongue , takes a bite of his cherry-chocolate . he deftly avoids eating one of his three chocolate chunks yet . that can come when the ice cream and the talking doesn't make them a huge choking hazard . ❝ mm'kay . so , how many cups of coffee are you gonna get ? need to know whether i'll have to spend nine dollars and fourteen cents or thirty-six dollars and fifty-six cents . ❞
his text makes her laugh; he has a talent in that. she has skipped lunch to pursue another silly project on a whim, and given the perks of being unemployed, she has the sink temporarily refitted to look like a mini sea. nobody knows what she's thinking, but if anyone would help her, it would be her birdemic (remake) costar.
[ text to: ryland🍇 ] no don't quit
[ text to: ryland🍇 ] i need your lab
[ text to: ryland🍇 ] and your brain
[ text to: ryland🍇 ] i need foam and i don't want to waste our soap
[ text to: ryland🍇 ] thoughts?
right at this moment , he's wishing he hadn't finished his food yet . his watch reads ten more minutes until he needs to skedaddle back to his classroom . he could've waited five more minutes to heat up his lean cuisine . this is a show deserving of food . but then he wouldn't have his fingers to type . ah , never mind ! he's smart for that .
[ text to : rosaria ] why are you trying to recreate 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK
[ text to : rosaria ] you're trying to do surgery on 2 shark toys aren't you ?
[ text to : rosaria ] sometimes a kitchen can be a lab . you should just use the kitchen counter . it's so easy
[ text to : rosaria ] i think we have a hot glue gun somewhere
nine minutes and fourteen seconds ( noun ) : the space between you , and me . the length of thread between us . the exact time it takes your light to reach me . the faith i have in you . which means you have to come home . it means you don't get to die eleven light years away from me . / @lasthail
they told grace he needs to use more positive language when it comes to himself , so now instead of saying ' i'm getting old ' he just says ' i'm past my expiration date. ' and ' my half-life is at 2 seconds ' :///
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does anyone ever think about the fact that it's been 71 years on earth since grace was born by the time he's experienced about 53 years of life , and due to erid's gravity being so much higher and his bones deteriorating faster than they would on earth , that he will basically die at the same time someone of his same birth year would die on earth ? only he'll experience about 18 less years of life than the person on earth ? much to think about .
it's a family emergency , he'd told the district when he had been asked to provide his reasoning . then , to the principal , a more personal explanation for a more urgent beg : my brother broke his back . he'd known , of course . he'd known the millisecond colt's safety cables had loosened up too far and he'd hit the ground . he always knew . they've been here for each other since birth . colt , nine minutes and fourteen seconds later , clutching to the umbilical like a lifeline before they could cling to each other . they've been together ever since . sure , one's in san francisco and the other's in los angeles between projects . but they're always nine minutes away , no matter the physical distance .
colt is in pain . ryland knows colt is in pain because his fingers shake too . he doesn't want to admit the real reason is because he's scared . even now , a week after colt's discharge , he still sees him in that hospital bed , barely able to move except to lift a finger , tubes stuck in every hole and limb the doctors could find . ryland had cried forty-two times while his brother slept . spinal fractures are hard to come back from . colt's survival was a miracle . but he's scared . it comes and goes in waves . today , his anxiety is particularly bad . tomorrow , he may go the entire day without a bit of nausea . his brother has metal in his back and a brace holding his back up straight , so it doesn't crack again and kill him .
my little brother broke his back . my brother broke his back really bad . my brother almost died .
❝ did you not take them when i gave them to you ? ❞ that was forty-five minutes ago . the answer is obviously no . ❝ come on , the sink water isn't going to kill you . idiot . i've got them . stay there . ❞ ryland digs his nails into his palms and stands , hoping he cuts his skin open before his brother can see the fright in his hands . then it's off to the bathroom . the pill bottle sits next to the sink . stupid colt . he drowns his face with water , staring at the reddening rims of his eyes . not colt . stupid industry . it's a stupid industry !
colt gets the filtered water this time . the pills in the bottle sing when ryland returns , carrying it and the fresh glass he'd fetched from the kitchen . he tilts one onto his palm and offers it out . ❝ take this . and don't put it under your tongue , all right ? i want to see it gone when i check . ❞
