#empathyday

Hedgehug looked out from the edge of the wood,

The skies were bright, but her mood was not good.

Her heart felt heavy, she fought back a tear,

She needed a friend, but no-one was near.

So she sang her little song:

“Why can’t they look beyond the spikes

Some love and affection's what I’d like.

They look at me and see prickles

But I just love hugs and tickles.”

Crocosmile drifted around on his back.

His thoughts were turning increasingly black.

He needed a friend who could lift his mood

Inside he felt hunger, but not for food…

So he sang his little song:

“It takes a while to see the smile

Behind the scary crocodile.

Please don’t go, you’ll get to know

How warmly my heart always glows.”

He rolled and he sighed

Then at last he tried

To summon the courage

No longer to hide.

Crocosmile crept over pebbles and sand

Steeling himself for a journey by land.

His face looked fierce, but inside he was kind.

He’d show them their fear was all in the mind.

He came to a clearing and there he saw

A snuffling, shuffling and nervy wild boar.

Croc flashed his kindest and friendliest grin,

But at once, the boar’s legs began to spin

And she ran through the woods as fast as lightning

Squealing; “Eeeek, those teeth are way too frightening!”

Hedgehug had also decided to move;

She knew there was something she needed to prove.

A vole was cautiously looking around

Excitably Hedgehug called out: “I’ve found …”

But then her voiced trailed off …

Scampering away just as fast as he could

The vole ran back to his home in the wood.

No cuddles for Hedgehug and no warm words

Now her worries grew and her worst fears stirred.

“Will I always be lonely without friends?

Oh when is this sadness going to end?”

She curled up in a ball and loudly cried

So much that her sobs were heard far and wide.

Crocosmile was thinking about his face

And whether a big smile was out of place

When he heard a small voice in great distress

And thought this would be the best time to test

Whether he could finally save the day

By helping a creature in dismay!

He followed the sounds trying not to run

“I can’t scare them off before I’ve begun

To show them kindness from a big old croc

That could be the key I need to unlock

a whole new world!”

Hedgehug was face down, her sobs shook the ground,

But suddenly there was a welcome sound:

"Do you need a friend? I could be the one.

Let me take you with me, we’ll have some fun.”

She lifted her head and was stunned to see

A row of enormous gleaming white teeth.

Instinct abandoned she jumped on his back

And the hours flew by with laughter and chat

’Til she felt she’d found a forever friend,

Her Crocosmile she would gladly defend

From all those who were still to discover

There is no better day than #EmpathyDay to talk about cultivating empathy through reading, and it is in that spirit that I invite you all to join in on Twitter the #ReadForEmpathy movement today June 11th 2019 and answer the call to action:

Empathy Day’s calls to action READ – because stories and book characters build our real-life empathy CONNECT – make new connections with people, inspired by sharing stories DO – put empathy into action and make a difference in your home and your community

And while you can browse through the Empathy Lab’s 2019 Read for Empathy Guide right here and choose a book to read in support of this special day and spread the word https://irp-cdn.multiscreensite.com/b2f3fbc2/files/uploaded/EMPATHYLAB%20secondary%20GUIDE%20LandscapeA4%20web.pdf , let me introduce you Patrice Lawrence author of ‘Indigo Donut’ and contributor to ‘A Change Is Gonna Come’ who shares a story encapsulating the meaning of empathy, one in many ways we can relate to.

Happy reading!

Laughing, Loving, Struggling and Stressing

A couple of weeks ago, my teenage daughter called me in tears. She was on a very tight schedule and needed to get from one place to another, so decided to borrow my bike. Unfortunately, the gears slipped so no matter how hard she cycled, she barely made any progress. She ended up wheeling the bike along a major road, too late to get to her first appointment, crying in frustration.

You know that myth about Londoners being rude and uncaring? Well, at least two women stopped and asked if she was all right. One even offered to pay for an Uber to take her – and my bike – home. It was a powerful and necessary reminder that people do, indeed, care.

At the moment, my social media timelines are a constant reminder of how much hate there is. There are the moments that make the national news, violent  and orchestrated homophobia,  the ‘hostile environment’ policy, racist and transphobic abuse  and the smaller, more intimate moments, such as the friend being greeted with a racist slur by a player on an online game. It feels that the world’s empathy is draining away. That’s why we need to nurture children’s sense of social justice, compassion and kindness in every way we can.

Books are key to promoting empathy. I grew up in the only multi-ethnic family in a cul de sac in Sussex. My neighbours were lovely, but I always felt that my house was different to that of my white friends. My mum and my not-yet-stepdad weren’t married, which was rare in those days. We were noisy. We usually had lodgers to help pay the mortgage. I used to worry about inviting friends round. However, it was a book that I loved that helped me, Kenneth Grahame’s Wind In The Willows. There’s a chapter where Mole is homesick and wants to return to his burrow, but he’s embarrassed about its shabbiness compared to Ratty’s home. The tender way that Ratty empathises and helps put together an impromptu feast as carol singers knock on the door, still brings a tear to my eye. Ratty let me know that good friends want the best for you.

A couple of years ago after a talk to Year 8s in London, I was asked if my books are shaped by my politics. I think that they probably are. After more than twenty years working for charities promoting social justice and equality, I know that there are so many stories that are not told, so many people whose lives are condensed to stereotypes. I knew that I wanted to tell them.

The character of Indigo in Indigo Donut was born out of rage. At the time of writing, young people in foster care had to leave their foster homes at the age of eighteen.  The idea of evicting my own daughter at that age, regardless of whether she wanted to go, seemed cruel and unnecessary – so why do it to young people in care? I also knew that young people in long term care move from placement to placement, often in different parts of the country. How do you hold down a sense of identity and security when your ties to family and friends are continually stretched? Even keeping the same social worker must be rare as budgets are cut and permanent staff lost. How does it feel to have so little control over your life? I mean – heck – I’d be angry too.

Indigo has inherited some tough issues including a belief that she is filled with anger that means she can’t get emotionally close to people in case she hurts them. Her future could still be a challenge. But I also wanted her to be funny, loyal, compassionate and, naturally, with supremely excellent music taste. I wanted her to know that there are people who love her. I wanted to let her realise that she could be loved.

I also wanted readers to understand that beneath the myths and rumours and stereotypes, there are real people, laughing, loving, struggling and stressing. I wanted my readers to care.