Joe's Writing

Hedgehug looked out from the edge of the wood,

The skies were bright, but her mood was not good.

Her heart felt heavy, she fought back a tear,

She needed a friend, but no-one was near.

So she sang her little song:

“Why can’t they look beyond the spikes

Some love and affection's what I’d like.

They look at me and see prickles

But I just love hugs and tickles.”

Crocosmile drifted around on his back.

His thoughts were turning increasingly black.

He needed a friend who could lift his mood

Inside he felt hunger, but not for food…

So he sang his little song:

“It takes a while to see the smile

Behind the scary crocodile.

Please don’t go, you’ll get to know

How warmly my heart always glows.”

He rolled and he sighed

Then at last he tried

To summon the courage

No longer to hide.

Crocosmile crept over pebbles and sand

Steeling himself for a journey by land.

His face looked fierce, but inside he was kind.

He’d show them their fear was all in the mind.

He came to a clearing and there he saw

A snuffling, shuffling and nervy wild boar.

Croc flashed his kindest and friendliest grin,

But at once, the boar’s legs began to spin

And she ran through the woods as fast as lightning

Squealing; “Eeeek, those teeth are way too frightening!”

Hedgehug had also decided to move;

She knew there was something she needed to prove.

A vole was cautiously looking around

Excitably Hedgehug called out: “I’ve found …”

But then her voiced trailed off …

Scampering away just as fast as he could

The vole ran back to his home in the wood.

No cuddles for Hedgehug and no warm words

Now her worries grew and her worst fears stirred.

“Will I always be lonely without friends?

Oh when is this sadness going to end?”

She curled up in a ball and loudly cried

So much that her sobs were heard far and wide.

Crocosmile was thinking about his face

And whether a big smile was out of place

When he heard a small voice in great distress

And thought this would be the best time to test

Whether he could finally save the day

By helping a creature in dismay!

He followed the sounds trying not to run

“I can’t scare them off before I’ve begun

To show them kindness from a big old croc

That could be the key I need to unlock

a whole new world!”

Hedgehug was face down, her sobs shook the ground,

But suddenly there was a welcome sound:

"Do you need a friend? I could be the one.

Let me take you with me, we’ll have some fun.”

She lifted her head and was stunned to see

A row of enormous gleaming white teeth.

Instinct abandoned she jumped on his back

And the hours flew by with laughter and chat

’Til she felt she’d found a forever friend,

Her Crocosmile she would gladly defend

From all those who were still to discover

The party must have been really boring As even the chandeliers were snoring. I thought I should try to inject some life By making up stories about the wildlife.

I was very surprised to see A peacock riding a manatee.

Imagine my shock when I looked across And saw a baboon in a coat of moss.

It was really hard to believe But an anteater was blowing her nose on my sleeve.

I thought I must be seeing things When three-toed sloths started jumping through rings.

I couldn’t believe my eyes When a worm beat my record to win the first prize.

Another thing I would never expect Is a mole got the job of chief architect.

They’re never normally seen together, But an ant and a blue whale were discussing the weather.

If you are a member of the human race Don’t you dare to go down the scarecase! It’s so dangerous because every stair Has a ghoul or a ghost lurking there.

The first step creaks, a thousand eyes awake You feel your heart beat and your legs start to shake.

On step number two there’s growl so deep The monster’s heard you And wakes from his sleep.

The third step is where an arm reaches out But please take care that you don’t scream or shout.

On the fourth step down a big spider’s web gooey green and brown falls onto your head.

At step number five you have to stay calm. If you want to survive What’s crawling up your arm.

You have to be brave on step number six the rooms rises in waves and you feel a little sick.

Everything goes black if you reach the seventh step Too late to turn back, but there’s worse to come yet…

It’s step number eight The room is glowing red You start to hesitate and wish you were in bed.

The ninth step has gone there’s just a big hole with twenty snakes’ tongues reaching for your soul.

You jump to the floor but slip on all the slime sliding through the door Somehow, you’re safe this time.

This is a poem aimed at children. It explores the theme of superstitions, as well as family dynamics and the ways different people might react to the same incident.

The mirror jumped off the wall; “Seven years!” Screamed my tears.

“You are cursed and cannot reverse your fate. It’s much too late.” My sister’s glee was there for all to see.

“I’ve broken them, too. Don’t let it worry you.” My father’s advice, but was he just being nice?

Parched and barren, the land is as dry as a man who never smiles and as hard as the man who grins when he is struck.

Rib cages and antlers stick out of the water as dark as the humour of a dying man, festering.

Luckily, I stumbled across a tweet about a poetry festival in Birmingham on Friday evening. I had already missed two days of it and wasn’t able to rearrange things on Saturday to attend anything, but made sure that I was able to see two events on the Sunday.

Firstly, I saw Genevieve Carver and the Unsung perform A Beautiful Kind of Crazy. Despite it being about the experiences of female-identifying musicians, this really spoke to me as someone who has written and performed music, as well as suffering from issues around confidence and depression for much of my life. The weaving in of her personal story and those of various musicians, with some great anecdotes and spoken word poetry over a musical accompaniment worked really well. It had humour, emotion and if you get the chance to see it, I would thoroughly recommend going. More details can be found on her website: https://www.genevievecarver.com/a-beautiful-way-to-be-crazy

The second event I went to featured three poets; Jonathan Edwards, Deryn Rees-Jones and Mimi Khalvati. They each read some of their poetry, with varying amounts of commentary or explanation, but then took part on a Q&A session with the chair (not audience members) and then read a final poem each. I loved all three of them; Jonathan with his very Welsh takes on life and stories about his father and grandfather, Deryn’s very intense poetry mixing the personal with depictions on nature and Mimi’s wonderfully concise poetic reflections on her experiences having come to England from Iran as a six-year old and living between two languages.

My next children’s rhyming picture book is a football-based tale of an unlikely hero in a football team - yes a donkey! Things don’t start too well for him, as his skills don’t quite match his dreams of being the star in the team:

Alas that dream seemed a long way off, Behind his back, he heard them scoff: “You know they call him ‘Golden Hoof’” “Does he kick it on the roof?” “No, he can’t kick it at all, He totally misses the ball!”

I like experimenting with different types of poetry, but I’m wondering whether a children’s picture book written in a mixture of haiku and limericks works; what do you think?

I have an idea for a book called Sam O’Rye about this guy who’s a baker in the morning, but then a crime fighting martial arts master by day. In fact, I’ve mostly written it. The haiku parts don’t rhyme and leave lots of space to add in your own thoughts, or illustrate more of the story. Would parents enjoy that, or find it annoying? 

The oven is hot Soft dough balls lie on a tray They come out crusty

The limericks break it up and add a little more humour:

You know me as a baker called Sam Whose bread is delicious with jam, But I fight villains too With my expert kung fu and nobody knows who I am.

Then you go back to haiku again:

An alarm bell rings The sound of smashing windows Then gasps - a shadow!

“We love all these colours so bright and bold They’re so much more precious than chests of gold. We’ll sail down the rainbow and paint your days Just open your eyes and you’ll be amazed!”

The second kids’ picture book that I’ve written is about a bunch of pirates who aren’t interested in chasing treasure, but in bringing colour and adventure to the world. The idea is we see the beauty in diversity and difference, as well as literally in things being colourful. The lead character is a girl called Salma:

Salma has a secret; That up there in the sky A bold band of pirates Is waiting to swing by.

There are three different rhythmic structures to it.; the shortest being the 6 syllable lines, as just above, the repeated ‘chorus’ line of ten syllables and also eight syllable lines, such as:

“They’ll soon be buzzing - just you wait And butterflies won’t hesitate To flutter in and land upon Your blooms so beautiful and strong.”

Rumbling bass and far off clouds of melody awake me as I’m transported back 25 years to the hazy room at Park Cottage:

The intense swells of crescendos elevate my dreams quiet, LOUD, quiet

A bedroom filled with friends driven to an intoxicated insanity flying through soundscapes

The comedown was brutal.

I conjure new versions of what we could have played from precious feelings and musical lessons learned. Yet I know we can never return.

Like a snowflake blown into my face you send shivers down my spine and I am temporarily blinded by your beauty.

Now I am pressed against glass looking at the rippled orange sky imagining our hands clasped pulling you in for a long embrace ready to conquer our fears at last.