Sep 29, 2025
how it feels habving to admit I genuinely go by psi/gamma named afterROBLOX PERIASTRONS andAMPERSAAND / HASHTAG
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how it feels habving to admit I genuinely go by psi/gamma named afterROBLOX PERIASTRONS andAMPERSAAND / HASHTAG
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Why can't I just feel normal about this?
I don't mean the excited when Sleep Token or Vessel pops up on any social media, or the playful way in which fans comment on their attraction to the physical, or anything of that nature. It's more that I hate that the urge to connect with a stranger can be so utterly blinding sometimes. The desire for them to see and know and understand how much they mean. How much they inspire.
I rarely get like this and when I do, it's a torturous cycle of reasonably saying that it will pass, convincing myself that emotions will fade over time. That I can channel that longing into something productive and yet, it doesn't help those feelings in the mean time.
I swear it's not a dangerous thought process. I respect boundaries and have been upset recently at leaked information and doxxing that had no business taking place. It feels like an invasion of their privacy every time I accidentally wander upon information I didn't want to know.
The only danger that comes from it is to myself. That's why I need this place. Somewhere I can dump all of these moments that make me feel that I'm slipping from my hold on stability. I'm supposed to be the strong one. The one everyone goes to for advice, for support. Never cry in front of them, as that can be seen as weakness that might shatter that idea and yet when I get so caught up like this, it's hard to be that person. It's hard to keep those walls up and not feel like I have to spill my guts in a desperate attempt for someone to understand.
The temptation to just move where nobody knows me and pull a Phoebe Cross. I feel so deeply I'm meant to be a mother and a good wife and that's all I have ever wanted. I've never had a complete passion for working or being a girl boss. I want to build a family but I have a deep fear that either medically or by happen stance I'll never be given the chance to do so.
I've never had the chance to love someone with my whole heart and I don't know what it's like to be loved by someone in that way. That coupled with chronic health issues the fear is hard to bury.
So I say lemme just pull a Phoebe instead.
But if I'm not able to be a mom... At least I can be the best auntie I can to my best friends beautiful baby 🩷
documentation day one:
we couldn’t see the sun this morning, it was covered by the smog. the entire sky was bright white and orange and everything was covered in a light grey haze. there were times when you could feel the air get thicker. while i was working to work, the air was filled with tiny particles. everyone outside soon realized that this was ash and/or debris. no one is talking about the fires but ash is literally falling from the sky. when i got out of work, the air was even thicker. it was hard to see, like when it’s really foggy outside, except this time, it was smoke.
it’s scary because this is all so unpredictable. my life has always been unpredictable, things are always changing. but that doesn’t make it easier. it’s hard not knowing what’s going to happen, not knowing if you’re going to make it to next week. no one seems to be reacting to what’s going on. it’s scary. people in my province have started evacuating. will i have to do that?
11 more images beneath the cut. There is a LOT of dialogue. Let me know if it’s too hard to read. I’ll update this with a transcript for each page if enough people want it.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The more that I think about the whole ‘Peter is Ralph’ situation the more sad I get. The way my brain works is that I will latch onto a piece of media(whether it be a fictional character, tv show, a YouTuber, etc, etc) and that will be the only thing I can think about for a certain period of time.
(I know this may be a sign of ADHD but that’s not what this post is about.)
After episode five came out I rewatched all of the X Men movies that Evan Peters was in and I finally got the chance to fall in love with this character because when these movies came out I wasn’t really interested in the X Men even though my Dad loves them. Peter Maximoff had became a giant hyperfixation over the past few weeks and to find out that this character isn’t Peter (even though there was so much evidence pointing to him being Peter) just feels like a big slap in the face.
I know this is a weird point but I had to get this off my chest because none of my friends watch WandaVision.
the scariest part of letting you go is thinking you’ll end up forgetting about me— our memories
mentol illness
literally only opened tumblr on my laptop so I can simultaneously hide and broadcast my personal issues lol. maybe like two weeks ago I got an email saying I was rejected from the grad program I wanted to enroll in and I mean I didn’t think it would effect me emotionally because there’s so many other places to enroll, and it was so selective I knew I had no chance of getting in, but something about it like. snapped a lil twig in my brain. and I literally sat at my dinner table crying for hours until my head hurt and I got dizzy from not eating/dehydration. and it wasn’t even really the fact that I didn’t get in, it’s how my immediate reaction was to berate myself and go on and on about how it’s because I’m stupid and I might as well not apply anywhere else because they’ll know how useless I am too, and how these past four years have been just a waste of time and money because I’ll never be able to achieve anything beyond graduating. And after spending some time with my sisters, and after my mom telling me that that thought process is Wrong, I thought I came to terms with that blow to my confidence, but I was still so confused and bewildered about all those awful things I said about myself because yeah I’ve always hated how I look,,,,, but I’ve never been anything but proud of my intellect/mind. And again, I knew my chances of getting into the program were slim to none, so that couldn’t be the only reason I was having such an emotionally difficult time. And then today I realized that if I tried a little harder in one of my classes I probably could have had straight A’s this semester, but now I’ll have a B, and I immediately felt like garbage. I found out I was getting a B,,,,, and I felt like such a waste of space and life. If I had just pushed myself a little more, I could’ve gotten the A. If I wasn’t so fucking stupid, I would’ve gotten it. If I can’t even get an A in a communications class, if I’m such a lazy student that I purposely missed an assignment because I was being such a little bitch and couldn’t force myself to present something to the class, then why am I even thinking about pursuing the career that I’m pursuing. I would fail. It’s pointless. I’m not going to amount to anything. I CAN’T STOP THINKING STUFF LIKE THAT. OVER A B. ISN’T THAT SUPER NOT OKAY???? and that’s the worst part, I KNOW I shouldn’t feel this way ! I’m graduating in a week and I’m making my accomplishment feel like a waste of time and money for why??? does anyone know why this is happening??? I mean that’s a rhetorical question, of course you don’t. i don’t know, man.