then we have taash, who has been making themselves fit into a box their whole life. and now, finally able to step foot outside that box, they are loud about it, they are unapologetic, they are claiming and they are angry. and they know that shathann cares about them, in her way, that they matter to her, but it's not enough and it's not right and it's not the way taash needs to be loved and supported, so they're angry about that relationship, too; angry and regretful at the end that they could never come to a point of understanding one another. that's a very real grief. but they're also rough around the edges, they're harsh, they're critical, they're quick to anger and quick to hold grudges and slow to apologize if they ever do. yet they reach out and, with a little help, they're able to cross bridges, able to understand different ways of being. they're no longer constrained by grief and repression, and that allows them to be vulnerable in a way they struggled to before

and bellara. my current rook only does the stern/crossed arms options, and y'know, some of them are really harsh. and there have been times that bel has approved of that? and i don't... look, i admit there are multiple interpretations to everything, but like i said at the start, this is personal. so, to me, this is a neurodivergent woman used to being Too Much For Anyone and just accepting any criticism and rolling with it. she doesn't let herself feel hurt by it. she approves of it. she's used to being alone, and rook/irelin/strife/anyone who has ever even potentially criticized her is Probably Right, but it's fine, because she works better alone, anyway! and look at what she can do - she has these skills! it's okay if no one likes to spend much time with her, because she can be useful. and there's always the memory of cyrian, someone who not only accepted her, but loved her the way she was. no one can measure up to that, surely. it's because cyrian was special. she can't expect anything like that from anyone else... so she doesn't

davrin is one of the healthier companions in many ways, i think, but he's also used to a very particular type of relationship and i think he's fumbling a little without that familiar structure. these aren't wardens bonding over a shared struggle. and even though he felt on the outside of his clan, he also shared good times with them, but that was an intrinsic bond, the people he'd known his whole life, the people who shaped him. having to connect with people he has no shared history with is strange and unfamiliar, but he does it anyway - with all of them. and with assan. everything is so new for him, but he takes the opportunity, he wants the opportunity... but at the same time, he's so afraid of leaving everybody behind. he knows what it is to grieve, but does not want to be the reason they grieve. he wants to connect, and he does, but there's a very real fear there

and neve. god, neve. neve is the woman alone. she trusts no one, because they won't last. they'll leave. or, worse, they'll die - and it'll be her fault. again. she can't do that, so she doesn't trust. she accepts partnerships, but not friendships, certainly not relationships. she asks you to help her save her home, but she's not surprised if you save treviso instead. she's professional. after all, she's always been alone. and she should be - it's better this way. no strings attached. she can do what needs to be done, she can focus. no distractions. no trouble. no loose ends. (it's easier this way, surely)

and emmrich! emmrich. outwardly, he seems very put-together. he's very, very compassionate, very gentle, and always believes in everybody - even solas. and then he tells johanna that he would have helped her, if she'd just come to him, and that's when it clicks. he is loyal... to a fault.

don't misunderstand: i love johanna. i love their relationship, however you want to view it. but emmrich will not set anyone aside, he will not give up on anyone. he is scared to die, but he puts himself at great risk to save spirits he doesn't even know. and he doesn't have to know them to care about them. he is incredibly self-sacrificing, willing to risk not only death, but all of his life. by which i mean: his days, his time, his energy, his will, his focus, his faith. every part of his life, he is willing to dedicate to others. he can't be selfish. he can't take what he needs, or what he wants. he always gives, instead

and if you follow through on their companion quests and all, then each of these people grow. they find balance; some find a lot of balance, some are just finding the very beginning of the path, some go back and forth. and i'm sure the romances affect things, too. but there is not a single companion who has an entirely healthy approach to relationships of any kind, and none of them are children; they are all adults. some young adults, yes, but still all adults, and yet they struggle openly with relationships