#elrad

I hope this helps with the post-election woes. Set before the events of Telezine Crown, with a very drunk Kes. 

46. “Shut up, I am a delight!”

Vahan groaned in irritation as the buzzing of his phone woke him from what had been a very pleasant dream. He rolled over, fumbling to switch the damn thing off, only to read a message from Kes through blurry vision.

Hello, I need your car

Vahan squinted, rubbing at his eyes. It was 1:00AM and he was in bed wearing nothing but his underwear. His phone buzzed again. 

I’m going to escape so I need your car like now thanks xoxox

It’s an emergency and i’m drunk 

gonna climb out the back window you gotta pick me up like in a movie 

Vahan groaned silently to himself, before dialling Kes’ number. He answered immediately.

“Do you have your mission?” the young man slurred. “You, car, my Uncle’s place.” 

“Rosenburg, what the hell’s going on? Are you in legitimate danger or are you trying to piss me off?”

“Why’d I try and piss off the most handsome man I’ve ever met?” Kes asked, sounding genuinely confused. Vahan mellowed slightly, unable to stop smiling stupidly to himself. 

“Then why do you need my car?”

“All will be revealed,” he whispered. “Probably. I dunno, it depends if I can actually climb out this window, I’m sorta stuck.”

“Oh my God,” Vahan said. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Nu-uh,” came the response. “I’m trying to escape a man my Uncle wants me to meet. He’s an ambassador. He also likes me, but I don’t like him, ‘cause I do not dig older men, apart from you ‘cause you’re only like two years older and that’s sexy. Oh, wait.” There was a scuffle on the end of the line. “Shit! Ow! My knee.” 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Vahan said firmly, before hanging up. 

By the time he shoved on some jeans and a hoodie and made his way over, it was nearly 2:00AM, but he had suddenly never felt more awake. Lights and noise blasted from Kes’ Uncle’s house; clearly another fancy party was going on. He ducked his head, making his way round to the back of the house, to find Kes halfway out a small window. “Jesus,” was the first thing he said, a smile tugging at his lips. “This is like the beginning of a bad porn movie.” 

“Yes,” Kes agreed. He had clearly given up on trying to escape and just sighed loudly. “I’m stuck.”

“I can see that.”

“I’m also kinda drunk.” 

“I can see that, too.” 

Kes squirmed a little, uselessly. “My Uncle wants me to go on a date with an old ambassador who probably has a daddy kink, and I can’t do that right now. Or ever.” 

Vahan approached him, carefully holding under his arms to begin tugging him out from the small space. “Yeah, well,” he huffed, “you can make your own decisions about who you see.”

“I do,” Kes protested. “You don’t have a daddy kink, do you?”

Silence. “Uh, I, no,” Vahan managed after a moment. “No. Not that I’m aware of. Now shush for a moment, let me help you.” 

Kes obliged, and soon Vahan had successfully freed him, helping him onto the ground. His arms stayed around him, and Kes blinked up at him hopefully, swaying a little. “You’re jealous.”

“Jealous of an ambassador? Not really.” Vahan shrugged. “And I’m not jealous because he likes you, either. Everybody likes you. I mean, until you open your mouth and start judging them.” 

“Hey!” Kes complained. “Shut up. I am a delight.”

“Yes,” Vahan couldn’t disagree. “Yes, you are.”

“And you like me? You like me. You saved me from a window.” 

“I like you very, very much,” Vahan admitted softly. “Sometimes I feel like I’ll implode because of it.” 

Kes closed his eyes for a moment; when they opened, they were full of fire. “Let’s get out of here. Your place.” 

“My place, but we’re doing nothing but fall asleep, and maybe getting you some coffee.”