#elle.text

smut scenes that don't go as planned, my beloved. someone falls asleep. one of them pauses because it's not that they don't want this, but they're not present mentally. they bump their heads. one of them starts crying because they feel safe/it's the first time in ages they can unwind. one of them gets a leg cramp and the other ends up having to massage their leg. they're interrupted by a pet. accidentally hitting their head against the headboard a bit too hard. pausing because losing balance while trying to undress. accidentally falling off the bed. accidentally breaking the bed. struggling with a horrible cursed zipper. realizing that you're both so damn tired so they end up just cuddling and sleeping …… god im such a sucker for the unglamorous unpoetic raw intimate vulnerability nonsense.

going into any artifact domain these days feels like a humiliation ritual (every day my resin is wasted on def% rolls)

sometimes i admit, i do miss very small group roleplays. or rather, miss going "we all write together individually in 1x1s, what if we tried writing together?". maybe taking characters we already have and interconnecting them. or letting their worlds overlap. maybe something serious, maybe something more lighthearted. i don’t know. i’ve just been craving that feeling of writing with more than one person in the same thread / setting / universe.

sometimes just to feel something i go re-watch the scene of la signora interacting with venti before snatching the gnosis from him... a five year old scene still not dethroned from the top three imo

I'm melancholic for a time where I was in pain and scared. I still remember the closet, small and tight, my screams so constant I forgot they were mine. It's hard. It's hard to still love you. It hurts. The others would call me crazy, try to change my mind, try to "fix" me. I don't want to be fixed, I want to go back to your arms, no matter the consequences. At least right now that's how I feel, I know if I ever got my way I'd change my mind but I won't so I will not. It hurts.

like imagine you risk basically like, your entire life (including your actual life) in order to save this girl you've basically just met, and you succeed, it all goes great, but you get lowkey sent to labor camp for cheating. and then you find out that that your literal professor who hates you went to your girlfriend and was like 'he sucks so bad' I would lowkey go joker