this is a multi everything side-blog. nsfw might be present. 𝙢𝙙𝙣𝙞. i follow from okaymuse. i use the block button liberally and encourage you to curate your space and do the same! if you don't wish to interact with me please block both okaymused and okaymuse.
activity is sparse. i will probably only post writing on this blog, so when i have nothing to write/reply to the blog may seen inactive.
i'm elle (25+). i left tumblr because it gave me big bad feelings and now i'm tentatively returning & aim to keep this space as simple as possible and heavily focus on plotting & establishing long-term connections. i stop following back if we haven't interacted ic or occ in a while because i get overwhelmed and only like to follow people i actively interact with. i'm autistic: i don't know how to play coy, i don’t pick up on hints well, and i'll will take what people tell me at face-value. i really appreciate polite directness and i respond best to people who are straightforward. i'm sorry for making this sound so formal, my brain tends to do that, i promise i love shooting the shit too. i hate limiting myself.
intro out of the way, i'd greatly appreciate if you could read what's bellow before interacting. i promise i tried to keep it succinct.:
little bit about me: i studied a multi-disciplinary degree that included subjects like history, psychology, and art. i’m a big introvert but also a big yapper. i've always been the opposite of nonchalant and i do, in fact, like doing too much. that said, i can be quiet outside of roleplay chatter, mostly because i feel inadequate at small talk. i'm trying to be more open about this & even wrote about it here. i'm autistic + english isn't my native language + have poor eyesight + have memory problems + am chronically ill. i will sometimes switch between uk and usa spelling, make typos, and i like to play around with my writing style a lot so i won't always write in the same way/format. there's things that i don't interact with but, overall, i don't have triggers. that said, i expect mature or 'problematic' topics to be handled in an appropriate manner.
i’m a long-term roleplayer (seriously, i've been writing some characters/ships for over a decade), and i value stability and clear communication. please skip pleasantries with me as i struggle with the back-and-forth of them, and i genuinely love when people flat-out and shamelessly tell me what they want/expect/are interested in.
things that i don't need: fancy formatting or icons, matching word-counts, constant communication, every day chit chat, quick replies, you updating me in specific about anything at all if we don't consider each other friends (i'm careful to check people's blogs and statuses for updates and don't expect to be told personally). things that i do need if we are going to write together: you caring about my characters and me caring about yours, a degree of clear communication, some type of consistency, mutual enthusiasm and engagement.
i try not to make mistakes but they may still happen. if something bothers you, i truly would rather you bring it up than let resentment or misunderstandings build. i firmly reject the "i don’t owe anyone anything" mindset as, to me, the community is what we make of it and even in a hobby people deserve respect for their time and effort.
i try to meet people halfway, however, incompatibility is a natural thing and i don't take personally. if for whatever reason you don't want to interact anymore, i only ask that you please let me know, i'll do the same.
while i write many characters, this blog heavily focuses on ocs i write daily (maria & rafeez & nikolai) + the canon takuma ino (jujutsu kaisen). those are, blatantly speaking, my priority. i'll always default to them and want to write them independently of setting and universe - i have dozens of aus for them.
to me it doesn't matter if your character is an original character, canon, canon divergent, because i approach all characters as originals. even if they are a canon i want to get to know how YOU approach them. sometimes i even follow people from fandoms i know nothing about just because their character's biography interested me.
as someone who as a teenager used to pretend to not like romance because people around me told me it was an 'inferior' thing that 'real writers' didn't write - i'm fully over that and now greatly favor shipping! i want to make it clear that i write plenty of platonic dynamics, but i simply enjoy writing plots that involve some degree of romance (even if it's one-sided or unspoken). i just like writing character having romantic feelings for others, this is my truth i shall not be ashamed of it.
while i care deeply about approaching characters and dynamics in a realistic manner and love extensively deep diving into things, i don't limit myself to it! life is too short not to indulge in crack, cliches, or just overall having fun. if i trust that we both take our characters seriously, we can literally idk have aus where we write them as birds idc i'll do it.
i'm very lame and enjoy writing the same handful of characters on rotation, and deep diving into exploring them in different universes. i love aus and putting characters through different settings and circumstances, exploring them taking different paths and making different decisions. i write in many fandoms and settings. often times, i don't follow canon (or write canons) and just enjoy writing plots that give the vibe of the source material. some universes i enjoy are: inspired by disney movies, genshin impact, stranger things, inspired by horror movies and video games (such as the quarry, until dawn), jujutsu kaisen, pacific rim, good old regular slice of life, fantasy, space horror, historical plots, pirates of the caribbean, etc
i have... complex feelings about reblog karma and public positivity memes (i wrote about it here) and affiliates. i'm always happy to reassure my writing partners or hype them up, please never hesitate to reach out in private if you need some kind words, but i don't generally engage with positivity memes and such.
some canons i often write on plot-by-plot basis:
please note: i write in a lot of fandoms, but i personally don't engage with fandom - the most i do is talking to my friends about what interests us. i also view canon as a suggestion, not a rule.
dimitri (1997's anastasia) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping open.
ursula (1989's little mermaid) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping open.
rick o'connell (the mummy) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping open
kento nanami (jujutsu kaisen) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping only with ocs.
hiromi higuruma (jujutsu kaisen) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping only with ocs.
nefer (genshin impact) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping open.
xilonen (genshin impact) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping open.
jean (genshin impact) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping open.
clorinde (genshin impact) [BIO.] aus welcome, shipping open- i don't ship navia/clorinde but will happily explore their platonic dynamic!!.
thoma (genshin impact) [BIO.] aus welcome, open for shipping.
wriothesley (genshin impact) [BIO.] aus welcome, open for shipping - i adore neuvilette i don't ship him romantically with wriothesley.
mavuika (genshin impact) [BIO.] canon divergent, kind of? + open for shipping.
diluc (genshin impact) [BIO.] shipping open.
original characters:
maria kato - bio is jjk-centered but she's not a jjk-centered character. completely discard the jjk parts if not applicable to what we've discussed/you're interested in. i have dozens of aus for her and i'll gladly create even more.
rafeez fahmi - bio is jjk-centered but he's not a jjk-centered character. completely discard the jjk parts if not applicable to what we've discussed/you're interested in. i have dozens of aus for him and i'll gladly create even more.
nikolai volkov - bio is jjk-centered but he's not a jjk-centered character. completely discard the jjk parts if not applicable to what we've discussed/you're interested in. i have dozens of aus for him and i'll gladly create even more.
katherine 'kitsey' moore - succession vibes. very mentally ill. fun and messy character who takes herself too seriously. a composed expensive trainwreck.
kaito muniz & helena muniz - siblings. golden retriever + black cat vibes.
thank you so much for having read everything!
if you'd like to plot, come say hi.
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Her head hovers over the crouched figure of her precious world. "what word?" if she were to let her brain wonder, there's an endless amount of words that could come to mind. but compared to how her daughter talked, she wasn't sure what she could've said that hiromi would shut down. ella leaned down to press a light kiss to her husband's cheek, the best she could do to greet him. it had been a demand to get her out alone. slowly digging into her identity as a mother and wife through the years, she had traded a part of her individuality. not that she saw it, but those were the words that convinced her to finally catch up with her friends. people who wouldn't let her rest, honestly, and weren't accepting of her excuses. valid or not. so she finally caved, going out for what she thought was a quick lunch. an hour turned into longer, the time forgotten as liquor flowed through her veins. "did you wait long?" ella moved over, before bending down to their level, filling in the gap at the side of two of them. her hand softly patted the crown of their daughter's head. she leaned lightly against him, finding ground in his stability for the moment. "never let me drink again, hmm?"
hiromi wishes she'd returned just half a minute later. her kiss lands on his cheek and he turns into it slightly, still cleaning their daughter's chin. 'a word she picked up. somewhere.' it’s an answer, technically, just not a particularly straightforward one. he’s also painfully aware of where their daughter may have picked the word up, and it wasn't from ella. he's usually very careful about cursing around their daughter, or at home in general. usually isn’t always. 'ugly words aren't words mama should hear.' he hoped their daughter understood that. he's not sure she did. ella’s weight settles against his side and he adjusts his stance to support her better, one arm going around her instinctively, steady palm closing around the curve of her waist. he raises an eyebrow at her: 'bending down may have been a bad call.' there’s a faint edge of teasing in his tone, though his hold on her tightens just slightly enough - he wouldn't let her fall. she’s close enough now that he can smell whatever she and her friends had to drink, and the reality is he’s glad she went to lunch. it has become rare to see her return from somewhere that had nothing to do with him or their daughter. 'no. we waited just the right amount of time.' he says. the truth is they've been waiting for around twenty minutes. the truth also is that it doesn't matter: she had been with her friends for the first time in a long time, hopefully enjoying herself, and he hadn't minded waiting. fuck knows that over the years she had waited for him often enough. 'she’s been entertained counting puddles, though i think the mishap with the juice means she's getting tired. i sense a potential mom and daughter nap in the near future.' he looks at their daughter and presses a kiss to her temple. she barely reacts. her attention is fixed on the water spraying from tyres of passing cars. fair enough, he thinks. he turns to his wife then, dark eyes taking in the softened focus of hers. the sight stirs something in him, something warm and tender. he leans in and kisses her cheek. ‘hm. never may be a difficult ask. seems like you had fun. ready to attempt being vertical again?’
Emery set up a short playlist of songs to play in order as a friend stood in his place so that he could briefly use the washroom. He figures he won't take too long, but the restroom is on the other end of the club and nowhere near the booth he was in. He's in a rush, isn't paying much attention to where he's going or the people calling out at him for pictures or anything of the sort.
It isn't long until Emery is out again, rushing back to his booth—that is, until he feels the impact of his body on someone else's (or their body on him, he's unsure). He's quick to bend down to pick up the things the woman has dropped, feeling at fault for all this (if he'd been hurrying just a little less, maybe this wouldn't have happened).
Emery stands once again, a hand reaching down to hand the woman he things and that is when he notices her. Maria. He hasn't stopped thinking about her since the moment he last saw her, which now feels like years ago. His heart is thumping loudly, quickly at the sight of her and he struggles to say anything for a moment. "I'm sorry," her phone and lighter in his hand, he's offering them to her, "Maria?" A question because if it isn't her, at least it's less embarrassing to ask than to assume. "You... you dropped your things." And suddenly, Emery's forgotten all about what he's really doing here.
her first instinct is embarrassment, then annoyance because her drink sloshed over her fingers, and she’s already bracing for a cracked phone. her mouth opens - ready to say it’s fine or sorry or my bad - and then he straightens and says her name and for a second that feels much longer than that, she doesn’t take the phone or the lighter, just stands uselessly and looks at him like her brain has been unplugged. "thank you." she says, finally reaching for her things (carefully because if she isn’t then her hand might touch his and she has a feeling that would do something unbearable to her). her throat feels tight from the drinks, and from the awful stupid surprise of seeing him.
she feels like she’s been silent for too long and her mouth, which unfortunately betrayed her more often than she'd like, opens: "you look good - well." the first half is out before the second scrambles after it and is too late to save her. impressive work. she wishes the floor would open up and swallow her. she wanted to mean it in the casual haven’t-seen-you-in-forever way, but the second the words left her mouth they felt like anything but. it’s all only made worse by the embarrassing fact that she has thought about what she’'d say if their paths crossed again, and now they have, and her brain was only able to reach for you look good. her pulse does something embarrassing under her skin - she smiles anyway because now there is nothing else to do except act like she says things like that all the time to people she used to know too well.
the music keeps pounding and people keep moving but the whole room feels like it has slid slightly out of focus. fingers curl more tightly around the glass, then she lifts it to her lips more for something to do than because she wants it. the sip is small and immediately regretted, but it buys her a second. "did i get any on you? sorry about-" she knocks one hand lightly into the other in an imitation of their collision. immediately regrets that too because it feels stupid. tries to pivot: "what are you doing here?"
Nova's a very simple girl—out of sight, out of mind, that's her motto. It should come as no surprise that she had decided to block Rafeez some time ago. It wasn't really for anything, but she has never needed a reason to distance herself from others—even the smallest of reasons was a reason to "keep [her] peace", she would say.
Yet, all this time has passed and she still recognizes that voice, a head lifting as a sign that she had heard him but undistracted from her work. She finishes up the latte she's made and places it on the counter, eyes barely meeting Rafeez but she catches a glimpse of him just before she calls for a—eyes narrow—"Steee...phen?" Nova questions... "Steh...phon?" She can't make out the name on the cup, even less so now that she's seen him. "Who the hell wrote that?" she mutters, though it most likely was her own writing.
She reproaches the cash counter, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Sorry," she's acting like she has no idea who he is, but she recalls those green-tinted eyes well, "there's currently only one of me. I can't do it all at once, unfortunately." Nova would never speak that way with a regular customer, but Rafeez is not exactly regular, regardless of whether he's a customer or not. There's history there, even if she's acting like there isn't. "What can I get started for you?"
rafeez leans in (because he can and because proximity has never bothered him) shamelessly angling himself to catch a glimpse of the writing on the cup. "steh....phon?" he repeats, sounding it out badly on purpose. now he’s a little invested - though it's not about the writing but the fact that she's the one squinting at it trying to decipher it. his gaze follows the latte as she sets it down, then lifts to her face. pretty as always. "take your time, i'm not in a hurry." he says, one hand lifting in a lazy little gesture. "i wouldn’t want to overwhelm the entire available staff. though if you need help, i can try to read it for you ." and wouldn't she just love that. a corner of his mouth twitches, he doesn't bother to hide how he's pleased with himself.
it registers as vaguely depressing that she's been left here by herself, and he wonders if it was for the whole day or just hours. she's still standing though, of course she is. green eyes move over her for a moment, remembering what she was like, and wondering how she ended up here. he wants to know, and the curiosity comes easily and shameless.
"hmm." he leans fully now, forearms on the counter, gaze flickering to the menu as his expression settles into something almost thoughtful, like he’s actually considering what to order. it tickles him a bit that she's acting like his face has been wiped clean from her memory. than it should, probably, mostly because he thinks she’s bad at it. "not sure. i'm in the mood for something hot." he finally answers, casual like he had come for a beverage and not because he’d seen a photo with her in it weeks ago and curiosity had been gnawing at him since then. sue him for it, or not, he wouldn't wouldn’t lose sleep over it either way. one brow lifts slightly, the smile on his lips easy. "what do you recommend to strangers?" because apparently she wanted to play a game, and because it was her, and she amused him probably more than she should, he could entertain it for a bit.
i promise i'm not dropping anything and i miss chatting and writing with you all and i'm very invested in everything i have going and i absolutely will reply to everything in my inbox soon-ish. my new job is cut-throat and i'm a nervous wreck all day (i do like it, alas), and i'm also having a flare up so it's very painful to type as i can't move my fingers properly. tldr: not going anywhere just being excruciatingly slow, thank you for being patient!
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she draws one knee onto the edge of the settee, then the other, settles her weight with a posture that’s straight out of something so deeply ingrained she stopped thinking about it years ago. her brows knit in concentration. it doesn’t take long for the cloth in her hand to turn dark at the center. she folds it, finds clean fabric at the edge and presses it back against the gash above his brow, holds it there just long enough to soften the blood that has dried. at the same time, her free hand finds his jaw, thumb settling at the hinge of it, applying just enough pressure to keep his head angled towards the light. she shifts slightly to dip the cloth in the basin beside them, wrings it, watches the water go a shade darker pink before returning the cloth to his face. she works outward from the wound now. the thumb at his jaw is firm, the cleaning touch is something else entirely. "you should have this properly looked at."
sometimes i'm asked about why i don't ship clorinde and navia and truly i have written them as romantic in the past but it just didn't hit for me. i'm not saying approaching them romantically is right or wrong, it just doesn't work for me. there's no grand reason for it other than in my personal life no romance has gotten me on my knees crying screaming throwing up insane like my friendships break ups with women, and even after the break up there were moments where we needed each other anyway, so it all comes down to, like, damn, what's that quote about how no one can break your heart like your friends can? or the quote about how the biggest heartbreak of your life isn't romantic but when a friend fucks you up? essentially, i have an eternal love and adoration for tragic complex friendships (especially, between women). clorinde and navia having no romantic feelings for each other just makes the whole damn thing more painful and tragic to me.
varka and jean's dynamic is so important to me but alas i'm not able to articulate anything properly right now, however i am thinking about how he fully and unequivocally trusted (an at the time visonless) jean to handle the matter with eroch. urgh.
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Knowing Your Writing Partner Can Potentially Make Writing Together A Lot Easier.
REPOST. DON’T REBLOG.
– BASICS.
NAME : elle
PRONOUNS : she/her
SEXUALITY : straight so far
TAKEN OR SINGLE : in a relationship
– THREE FACTS.
i'm involved in protest photography and my photos have showed up on the websites of newspapers + niche documentaries.
i studied psychology and later on got a degree related to culture. in my degree it was mandatory to speak three different languages and in one class it was mandatory to go on a two week long class trip all over my country (we were being graded and tested during the trip). i'm autistic and a massive introvert so this trip was a nightmare, though now that it's all over i look back on the experience fondly.
i can''t drive lol
– EXPERIENCE.
HOW LONG ( MONTHS/YEARS?) : 15+ years
PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED : proboards. jcink. tumblr. docs. discord.
BEST EXPERIENCE : the first roleplay i was in because people could have easily not included me: i was the only person in a wildly different time-zone AND didn't have internet at home AND didn't speak english AND was younger than everyone else. instead, they created a PG chat so i could be included in a mindful way, and often told me they valued my enthusiasm + ideas and that i could always get better at english. i wasn't around often but i never felt excluded: i'd get emails with updates and hcs, and when it was my character's birthday they did a whole thing for them (i wasn't even around! that did it so i'd have something to come back to). everyone also loved extensively character development (realistic and au) and we'd often have voice chats where we'd hc for hours. years after i left i found out they build a wikia for the roleplay and made a page for my character. those people shaped the way i go about in the rpc and i carry the values they practiced with me.
– MUSE PREFERENCES.
FEMALE OR MALE : i don't like limiting myself.
FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT : to me, they're interconnected. i love fluff but if i'm writing well-rounded dynamics there'll be bumps in the road and i fully welcome them as i consider them amazing for plot / character development. i approach smut the same way i approach everything else: something to be explored. i don't write smut a lot but i love exploring characters' psychologies when it comes to their sexuality / sexual preferences. i can learn a lot about my ships by talking about how they approach sex, and often get a ton of new plot points not related to sex out of it.
PLOTS OR MEMES : again: interconnected. i'm known for deep diving into things & plotting extensively (which i'm self-conscious about). memes feed my love for plotting but are also more relaxed and spontaneous. i love the curves balls they can bring + they help me come up with new plot plots, scenes, ideas, and help me develop characters. one of my fav things to do is picking a meme and going through it with my writing partner - we usually don't roleplay anything, just come up with scenarios where the characters would do or say what's in the meme.
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : both have their place. i do find that long replies can sometimes get messy and repetitive, and make people feel anxious. also, i was part of the rpc when 1000+ word counts were a thing and i never again want to feel pressured to stick to one. these days, i've been really enjoying exploring shorter replies, slowing scenes down, and focusing on actions/dialogue beat by beat.
BEST TIME TO WRITE : doesn't exist for me. sometimes i write because my brain is going !!!!!, other times i need to sit down and be intentional about it. sometimes i don't want to drop the thread but i don't know what to write and i always try to communicate when that happens - for me, writing something and keeping things moving is better than waiting for inspiration to strike.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : i'm sure in some ways i am? like i have anxiety and some of my characters have anxiety. that type of thing aside, i write way too many different types of characters. the only thing i self-insert in many of my characters is smoking because i love smoking but i'm trying to quit so i outsource it to them lmao
Tagged by: @2econdlead , thank you!
Tagging: @mendakium @evcrlasting @bluvdisc @ssvperboy @knightinsourarmor + anyone who wants to do !
i've been thinking about how i don't like that nefer got away completely unscattered from the archon quest's events (not doubting lauma's abilities as a healer at all! i just feel like the game doesn't allow actual consequences to happen to playable characters). i mean, she pushed her luck twice, bled from her eyes twice, she has skills but .... i like the idea of her not being able to out-skill consequences, and i've been toying with saying her eyesight did get somewhat permanently damage.
maybe partial vision loss right away (both eyes, or just one)? nerve damage (her eyes extremely light-sensitive.)? or it could be one of those cases where she seems to heal perfectly at first and then the side effects start creeping in later.
i just think her developing trouble with her eyesight feels like a believable consequence from the fight(s) and a thematically fitting hit to her character
maria sets the glass back on the counter, teeth sinking on her bottom lip holding back a wince as the shot burns her throat. a quick shake of her head, then the automatic thumbs-up. the person beside her keeps talking but she’s not really listening. she glances sideways, lips tilting a polite smile, nods like she’s listening, and taps the side of the small glass. she’s wondering why she decided to come and starting to regret the fact that she failed to eat something before she left the house when a different taller glass is placed in front of her. the person she came with starts to talk again. she reaches for the drink while saying she needs the ladies’ room, and then veers the other way toward what a direction that looks like it might lead to an outdoor space.
bodies move around her as she threads through. she clutches the glass to her sternum and glances down to try to wrestle the zipper of her bag one-handed. the floor flashes shades of green and blue. she slows without meaning to, fiddling with the zipper, managing to pinch her lighter out through a small opening. she’s digging for a cigarette, brows pulling together because she's annoyed at the zipper and at her own hands for finding her phone instead of what she actually wants. by the time she registers the sight of shoes too close to hers, it’s already too late. "wai-"someone bumps into her (or she bumps into them, hard to tell), and the impact knocks her off balance making her phone and lighter slip from her fingers and her drink wobble.
rafeez isn’t in the habit of spending too much time scrolling through social media. waste of time, lack of interest - his reasons are varied. however, when he does, he indulges, commits to the bit. sue him, he likes to be nosy. that’s how he’d seen her for the first time in… he’s not sure, actually. a photo a mutual friend has posted and there she was, wearing an apron. an apron. that alone made one of his eyebrows lift. curiosity had spiked and he had tapped her tag, only to be met with a… deleted profile. both eyebrows had raised at the sight of it. he’d paused, fingers hovering, then opened the page in a browser instead and there it was in its full glory. he’d laughed under his breath, wondering how long she’d had him blocked without him even noticing.
that had been weeks ago.
now he’s pushing open the door to a café he’d never before paid attention to. he checks his wristwatch, it’s later than he’d like, but time had gotten away from him. she's here though, it doesn’t take long for him to spot her behind the counter (he’s confident it’s her even with her back turned). he steps up, rests his elbows casually on the counter, and watches her do her thing for a moment while wondering how long she’s been wearing that apron for. after a beat, he lets out a sigh, deliberately dramatic: "service sure is slow in here."
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imagine living in solitude for ages and then one day a chatterbox comes to you and says 'i have a job for u!!' and brings you to france and gives you a desk job
