#ela<3

Atsushi is asleep long before Akutagawa. It is not unusual, given their respective jobs, but Akutagawa wishes, just once, that he could be the one lulled to sleep instead of the one still at war with himself. At the thought, Akutagawa's fingers curl into the fabric of Atsushi's shirt, desperate, guilty, lonely. It feels so wrong, the loneliness despite the breath of his partner beneath his head. Taking a deep breath, Akutagawa closes his eyes again. He shuffles closer, pressing his entire body against Atsushi's side. Atsushi mumbles something under his breath, head-turning so his cheek is on top of Akutagawa's, and then he snores again. A huff escapes Akutagawa's lips. The warmth seeps in, dispelling the cold hold of loneliness, one breath at a time. He focuses on Atushi's heartbeat, how it pulses right against his ear. Akutagawa has to actively stop himself from ripping it straight from Atsushi's chest and devouring it whole so that it can be just as much a part of him as Akutagawa feels it should be. Feels that it is. He has to resist the urge to open Atsushi's ribcage and climb in there himself, to make them one and the same. Is this what love is, he wonders, gore with sentiment?

~

jouzai+shatter

Chuuya watches his partners with a fond smile on their lips.  It’s nothing special, really. Kunikida is cooking and Dazai is “helping”, which just means that they’re sitting on the counter, humming a stupid tune, and throwing random things at Kunikida. Kunikida then scolds them. They whine and pout. Kunikida relents and gives Dazai a quick peck on the lips. And then the cycle repeats itself.  It’s stupid. It’s simple and ridiculous, but Chuuya is overtaken by overwhelming affection. Never did they imagine that there would be something they would want to hold onto and not be afraid of it withering away. Never did Chuuya imagine that one person, let alone two people, would look at him and see a human.  As if sensing his thoughts, Dazai looks over and sticks their tongue out. “Is the slug jealous of not getting enough attention?” In lieu of answering, Chuuya flips them off, marches over, and pulls Kunikida into a heated kiss. Dazai squawks, making Chuuya smile into Kunikida’s lips before pulling away.  “What was that, shitty mackerel?”  “Mean! Chuuya is a bully!”  Grinning, Chuuya slides his hand down Kunkida’s arm and tangles their fingers together, placing their other hand on Dazai’s leg.  “I love this,” Chuuya says.  “What?” Dazai asks.  Chuuya brings them close, kissing them sweet and slow. Dazai hums into their lips, but Chuuya pulls away, breathless with a giddy energy. He beams at Kunkida, resting his cheek against Dazai’s. “Us.”

~

skk + "Did you ever think we'd make it this far?"

“Did you ever think we’d make it this far?”  Chuuya keeps his head tilted upward, staring at the stars in the inky blue sky. Amongst them, he can see his own breath and Dazai’s lift, swirl together, and then dissipate. He wonders if there is an unwritten story there.  Or perhaps written, time and time again.  “No,” he admits, thinking of melting joints and pools of blood; of funerals and exploding cars.  “Yeah, me either,” Dazai breathes.  “Where are we, anyway?”  “Yokohama. Did the slug hit his head?” “Asshole,” Chuuya turns his head, finding Dazai already looking at him with an infuriating smile on their face. “You know what I meant.”  “I wonder.” “God, I hate you.”  “Hmm, I wonder,” Dazai repeats, fingers coming up to ghost Chuuya’s jaw. “How far have we come, do you think?”  “Far enough for me to kill you,” Chuuya says, turning his body toward Dazai. “Kill me how? With poison?” “Seems like the most effective method.” “I’m ready for it.”  Their chests are nearly pressed together, the wisps of their breaths tangling. Dazai’s hands are around Chuuya’s jaw, cheeks, and throat, back up to curling at his jawline to pull him closer still. Chuuya fists Dazai’s hair, his other hand at the back of their neck.  “Don’t come crying to me if it doesn’t work.”  “I would never.”  “Bullshit,” and then Chuuya yanks Dazai down and crashes their lips together.  It tastes like poison.