Mar 14, 2025
Bella concerned: has Edward always had a habit of running headlong into certain death?
Alice: Naw, sometimes he walks. Occasionally, he shuffles. Periodically, he ambles.
Rosalie: One time I saw him trip into certain death
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Bella concerned: has Edward always had a habit of running headlong into certain death?
Alice: Naw, sometimes he walks. Occasionally, he shuffles. Periodically, he ambles.
Rosalie: One time I saw him trip into certain death
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Bella: the school has a strict no pets policy, unfortunately.
Edward: this rule does not include Rosalie's high horse. Which makes regular appearances.
Bella: so how did you guys come and rescue me so fast ?
Jasper: some felony level traffic violations
Alice: purposefully causing 27 car crashes
Emmett: Two cans of nitrous
Edward: also that’s not our car
Bella: …..alrighty then
Bella: ‘collapsed in a kitchen chair ‘ I am so confused. I don’t know what I should do
Emmett: ‘wearing only underwear and a tank top, dunking Oreos in whiskey’ Well you came to the right place
Bella: See, no one wants lettuce or something dumb as their last meal. That’s why [pulls out package of sour straws] my last meal is gonna be sour straws
Jacob: You keep those in your pocket?
Bella: Between my clumsiness and almost dying all the time, I gotta be prepared to go out on my own terms
Edward: [vibrating] BeLoVEd
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Emmett, currently the subject of a nation wide manhunt for wrestling a bear at the zoo: Sometimes its nice to be wanted
Bella: Not by the fucking law it's not
Bella: ‘staring at Edward longingly’ What does he do when I’m not around? Like for fun?
Rosalie: Cocaine
Bella: No, like seriously, how does he pass the time? What are his actual hobbies?
Rosalie: Cocaine
Emmett ‘trying to explain how Alice got thrown through three cement walls and Jacob had to crawl out of a burning car’: So, we made a few small mistakes.
Edward: you said the words ‘Vampire demolition derby’ and didn’t think how there might be dangers associated
Emmett: Fine then, Lord Perfect. We made some medium sized mistakes