#ednah

And this time, it’s about some of the Red Army officers being gay for their beloved Queen of Hearts! Tagging @kiarigirl-blog because she was the one who gave me that idea.

So it all starts when Edgar, Lancelot, Kyle, and Zero decide hey why not have a late night conversation in the kitchen.

Sadly, Jonah is asleep so he doesn’t join in.

So everything was fun and all. Until...

Kyle: *drunk af* Heyyyy you know, our Queen is really beautiful. Like, super gorgeous. So gorgeous that my heart races like a million miles per hour.

Edgar: Oh my, is our one and only army doc lovesick~? This is rather interesting news.

Kyle: Hey, you’re the one who calls him so thoughtful, so caring, so virtuous, so honorable.

Edgar: So? That does not prove much.

Kyle: Don’t forget that time I accidentally walked into your room and heard you—

Edgar: *covers Kyle’s mouth* Now now Kyle, you promised me not to tell.

Zero and Lancelot are shocked and curious at seeing Edgar showing a bit of nervousness as he covers Kyle’s mouth.

Zero: Kyle, finish the sentence.

Kyle: Mmph mmph—

Edgar: Now now, my protégé, you do not need to pry.

Lancelot: *separates Edgar and Kyle with magic* So Kyle, what were you about to say?

Edgar: Kyle no—

Kyle: *finishes sentence*

Lancelot and Zero: What does that mean?

Kyle: It means that Edgar feels pleasured at the thought of our resident beauty.

Lancelot: O-oh...

Edgar: *blushing mess*

Kyle: In fact, I still have a recording of it in a crystal—

Edgar: Kyle no.

Zero: So there is something that can bother Edgar.

Zero internally: Finally, I can get payback for all those years of teasings and jokes thrown at me.

Lancelot:

Lancelot: I... I can’t believe that I’m not the only one.

Edgar: Lancelot, you as well?

Lancelot: ... yes.

Zero: Wait a minute. So... I’m the only one here who doesn’t see Jonah that way???

Kyle: Seems like it.

Edgar: Congratulations Zero. You’re part of the minority of the army who is not gay.

Lancelot: Wait, our army is gay for our Queen?

Zero: Oh God, why did I join this place?

The next day, in a meeting...

Jonah: So to conclude... ok seriously, what is up with everyone today?

Edgar: Everything is perfectly alright. Why do you ask?

Jonah: Don’t pretend like I did not notice the glances you, Kyle, and King Lancelot have been giving to each other. What did I miss?

Everyone:

Five of Hearts: My Queen, I think I know why. *reveals a magic crystal in his palm*

Kyle: *tenses*

Edgar: *nervous smile*

Lancelot: Five of Hearts, that is not necessary.

Jonah: Seriously, what is going on?!

Jonah is currently lecturing Edgar about jellybeans again. Zero and Kyle are watching this with half amusement and half exasperation.

Zero: *whispers* So Edgar, on a scale of 1 to 10, how tight do your pants feel?

Edgar: Zero, please.

Kyle: BAHAHAHAHAHA GOOD ONE ZERO

Jonah: Are you even listening to me?! What is up with you guys, seriously?! Edgar, what’s going on with you?? You’re turning pink!

Roxanne, undistracted by things like being stopped for food or potty training, is really getting the hang of talking to this rabbit!

What is this? Her eyelids are betraying her!

"Stupid noisy babies! Shut up, Ednah, I'm getting you a bottle!"

"I should grab a muffin before I go back to bed, too."

Poor Roxanne wakes up in a terrible mess! Literally!

"Oh, poor Roxanne! Here we go - hold still now! Go back to bed, Delwina!" "As soon as Points is done catching the feathers."

"Hold - still - don't get too stuck in on those shape blocks, Ednah. If you don't get some potty training soon you'll be in the same fix Roxanne is and nobody wants that. Least of all me."

Having learned to talk, Roxanne is delighted to discover the talking bunny.

"You okay, Daddy?" "Fine, fine, never better -"

Plop! "Daddy? You're gonna get garlic in your eyes."

"Okay, Ednah, now you go to bed and I'll finally get the dinner I made."

"Okay, Roxanne, let's get you on the pot and then we'll talk about your vocabulary."

Ednah's taken over the toy truck, leaving Roxanne free to improve her communication skills. Delwina sticks her fingers in her ears and does her homework as well as she can.

"Vrrroooom! Vrrroom! The rocketship's taking me to planet Fritz, where babies grow on bushes and you don't pick them till they're old enough to be fun!"

"Wow, Ed must be really busy. He usually has supper at least started by now. I'll make some nice pesto linguini, give him a break."

"Bear!" "That's right, bear! Hippy Bear!"

"I love you, Ednah, but please, please get on with it. I have other things to do, you know." He's never caught up and he's always tired and if Delilah thinks he's weeding that stupid lettuce patch she's got another think coming.

"Ick! How'd this even get in here? Bottles go in the kitchen!"

"I'll put my beautiful flower right next to my picture of Aunt Roxie."

Ednah can play with empty pots and pans for hours.

Roxanne discovers taking things apart and putting them back together. Points doesn't think that can possibly be very interesting. She's not even pouncing it!

"Okay, nice nourishing soup before Del takes off for work, perfect for a rainy day." Edwin dreams of contributing to the household income - could he win a cooking contest? If he could find one? He still hasn't gone busking.

Points grows up faster than the girls do.

Delilah has seen another job posting for position with a better salary. She should review the specs on that animation software before the interview…

"Oh, fudgenuggets!" "S'matter, dear?" "Um, the mushroom soup's gonna be a little - crispy?" "Never mind, I'll just go through a drive through on the way to work."

When we last left the Sharpe household, Edwin had been spending a lot of time glitching out in front of the crib. Just freezing, unable to do anything. It took forever to get both twins grown up. So they spent a little more money than they should on beds toddlers are supposed to be able to get in and out of by themselves. At any rate, Ed doesn't freeze in front of them. (He's fine, he's fine.) They now have a second potty chair; but all these expenses are making purchases like a second high chair seem extravagant.

"For this I went to college." "You can get a job when they start school." "What do you think, Ednah? Can you start school tomorrow?"

"Ugh, ugh, ugh." "Good girl, Ednah! Hang on a sec, Del, I'll get your breakfast." "I made myself a muffin. I'm okay."

"Ooh, sounds like thunder. I hope it doesn't rain during your recess." "When it rains we do dancing in the cafeteria." "Sounds fun. Teach me to dance?" "ONE two three ONE two three!"