continuing @easypeasys ~~~
of course it isn’t fucking okay. you stare at him. blank. your hands don’t feel like your hands and and you’re drowning in a burning numbness ; it almost makes you ANGRY, the way he’s just standing there. ( will you never fight with me? will you never fight FOR me? or will you just stand there. ) you clench your fists, grit your teeth, eyes burning. you’re FRUSTRATED, as much as anything – ( people don’t know what it’s like to ruin their own lives as they stand there, horrified witness more than active participant. they just don’t. ) FUCK YOU : the overwhelming thought. at whom, you don’t know. but fuck it, fuck whatever made you this way - there are a few good theories. you fight your impulse to bolt because he’s earned an answer from you.
“ you deserve –– ” something else. anything else. not this. “ MORE . i’m -- ” A FOREST FIRE. A CYCLONE. DESTRUCTIVE, CONSUMING. “ not right for you. ” you know this, in a horrible, visceral place inside of you, you know that you are not right for ANYONE.











