#eaglepeak

I am grimacing Monday morning when I wake up to my first day of school in Eagle Peak. This goes way beyond "jitters." I fortify myself in all black -- black t-shirt, black skinny jeans, black combat boots, and black liner. Why not just shock the shit out of everyone.

 I walk with my parents to school, so I'm extremely early, which is not a bad thing. I stand for a long time staring into my empty locker painted bright blue, wondering what the hell I am supposed to put there. I have never used a locker in my life, and this one even locks. At South High my locker was way at the end of the school next to the clinic that no one wants to be seen near unless you want to be pegged as pregnant or STD ridden, and our bags were searched by a security guard after going through a metal detector. But here I can hide anything in this locker. Aren't they afraid of guns or drugs in this school? I mean, I imagine more people own guns around here than in my "dangerous" neighborhood of South Minneapolis. Other kids open and shut their lockers. I can feel them looking, so I take off my backpack and coat and pull out just what I need for my first class.

 Then I feel a light nudge on my side and smell a mix of flowers and something more pungent.

 I'm turning when I hear, "Hi. Do you mind if I..." And there before me is one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen in my life. I realize what she is asking, but I don't trust myself to speak yet, so I just move slightly to the side to let her through to her locker, which, incidentally, is right next to mine. I stand there, holding on to the locker door for support while I peek out the corner of my eye at her. She has blonde hair down to her shoulders, and her nose curls a little at the end, and when she brushes her hair behind her ear there is a mole right in the middle of her rosy cheek. It is gorgeous. Okay, so I am doing more than peeking. I close my mouth.

 Letting her hair down again over the mole and patting it, she turns to me and smiles. "You must be Sean."

 I try to smile casually. "It's Se-an. I think my parents were trying to keep up with their friend's children's names, all spelled normal but sounding different. Tanya pronounced 'Taneeya.' Monte pronounced 'Montay'," I say talking too fast.

 "Oh," she says, looking around. Oh, man, TMI, TMI, TMI! Why couldn't I just say something normal? Like, yes, my name is Sean.

 Looking back at me, I see her eyes for the first time and they are so dark I almost can't see where her pupil ends -- the blonde hair and the dark eyes. She just stares at me. I don't say a thing, not trusting what will come out of my mouth.

 "Sean," she mumbles, "is that right?"

 She seems genuinely nervous as she tugs on her hair, tucking it behind her ear then patting it down again over her cheek. "Yep, that was good." I smile, feeling more comfortable with her obvious discomfort.

 "My name's Lara, spelled L-A-R-A. People always get it wrong too. They want to call me Laura."

 "Lara," I say wanting to add that it's a lovely name, but I don't, knowing that would be really, really creepy.

 "So, you're a junior?" She asks.

 "Yes, and you?"

 "Yep."

 We both stand there nodding and smiling, and I am sure then that she is just as interested in keeping the conversation going as I am. I rack my brain for something to say.

 "This is a beautiful school," I venture.

 "I guess," she says, rolling her eyes. "But when it's all you've ever known, the beauty kind of wears."

 I chuckle, or I try to chuckle, casually, but it sounds more like a cackle and now I am self-conscious again. She looks around a little and I follow her eyes, noticing that our conversation seems to be causing some stares. That is when I hear his voice, throaty and unmistakable, coming nearer. "See-on," he bellows, walking past me, almost brushing against my shoulder. And then he puts one hand on Lara's stomach and whispers, "Hey fatty," then kisses her neck. I notice she moves away from his kiss and looks at me briefly, then looks down. Is that apology I see? No, what would she be apologizing about?

 "Oh," she says, "Do you guys know each other?"

 Todd answers, "Yeah, I met See-on. Scared the shit out of him though, huh?" and then he thumps my shoulder hard enough to hurt, and I can feel my eyes narrow. I wonder if we're going to fight and I steady myself. I've never been in a fight before, so I don't really know what to do, but I imagine balance is key.

 Todd then catches Lara on her jeans loop whipping her around to face him and then laughs again. He keeps walking, allowing one hand to linger for a moment to pat her belly, like some cat parading his mouse kill before a competitor. Is this guy for real? Did he just call his girlfriend, oh, shit, I hope not girlfriend, fatty? And has she any idea that Jen and her boyfriend are fucking around behind my apartment? Just forget it, Sean. Just forget her. None of this is my life. But since when does that stop me?

 "Well, he's lovely," I say, and then regret it right away.

 Lara giggles tightly and slams her locker shut. It takes her a moment to compose herself, but when she looks up, she is smiling again. "See you around, Sean."