everyone ever: omg SUMMER is here this is SO GREAT *pulls out summer wardrobe*
chronically ill folk: this is the worst thing ever bring me an ice pack and stop the suffering
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everyone ever: omg SUMMER is here this is SO GREAT *pulls out summer wardrobe*
chronically ill folk: this is the worst thing ever bring me an ice pack and stop the suffering

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I don’t think my OCD has ever been this bad, or at least in a really long time. My current intrusions mean that I can’t leave my bedroom and it’s horrible, terrifying and I hate everything.
the issue with being home is that my boyfriend sends me lots of cute pictures of his face and I will consequently from my Homophobic Emotions either cry a lot or make weird sounds
which would be fine
except
my mum’s house has Thin Walls
so she must think I’m even more of a fucking dysfunctional mess than usual
why did I go to see which of my friends have liked autism speaks on facebook now I'm just sad this was such a big mistake
I’m in a ridiculous amount of pain to the extent I don’t normally experience and I feel so dysfunctional, disabled and unlovable tonight and I’m pretty sure it’s about to trigger a meltdown so that’s fun

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im in so much pain i can't sleep :(
my back is not in pain for the first time in about 6 months!!!! Is this what is feels like to have a functioning body?!
being autistic and anxious is the worst especially when my brain is telling me that I’m the worst human on the planet and that no one likes me and I have no friends and all the bad things because it’s like
anxiety: oh gosh people are probably talking about you about that thing you did
autism: what did I do wrong?
anxiety: i’m not sure but you did something. talk to someone to get reassurance
autism: how?
anxiety: honestly I don’t know that either
like I probably won’t respond and will still be self-loathing but someone should probably tell me that I’m not an awful human right now