From his perch on the edge of the couch, Sam sipped his beer and grinned. “Tipsy kitten?”

“Shut up, Wilson,” Bucky grumbled. “She’s fragile.”

You were pretty sure you were the only sober one in the room. And yet Bucky, who had done four celebratory tequila shots with Thor ten minutes ago, was now babying you like you were one hiccup away from collapse.

You tried again. “I’m really not drunk.”

“That’s exactly what a drunk person would say.”

Natasha snorted. “She’s literally the one who drove you here.”

“And I thank her for her service,” Bucky said solemnly, wobbling slightly on his feet. “But I’ve got it from here. I’ll take care of her. Always do.”

“Always?” you muttered, and Bucky turned to beam at you.

“She cries after sex, y’know,” he said proudly.

Your soul left your body.

“Oh my god, James,” you hissed.

“Not because she’s sad,” he continued, unfazed, addressing the room like a man delivering a TED talk. “Because it’s so good. Her words. Not mine. Though I agree. I think it’s that one move I do—”

“BUCKY!”

Everyone erupted. Sam literally dropped his drink from laughing. Tony looked like he was about to take notes. Wanda covered her mouth. Steve whispered a soft “Jesus Christ” and turned toward the wall like it might save him.

Meanwhile, Bucky looked so pleased with himself.

“I’m just sayin’,” he shrugged. “She gets all emotional. It’s beautiful.”

You buried your face in your hands. “I’m going to die here. This is my death.”

“NO!” Bucky shouted, stumbling over to you. “No dying. You’ve had too much. You’re acting unstable.”

“I am sober, you absolute menace.”

He leaned in conspiratorially, whispering directly into your ear, “Don’t worry. I’ll hold your hair if you need to throw up.”

“I will end you.”

“Later, doll,” he grinned. “You always say that in bed, too.”

A sound left your mouth that may have been a wheeze.

Clint stood up, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “Barnes, sit down before you reveal the coordinates of your sex tape.”

“We don’t have a tape,” Bucky said, then immediately followed it with, “Because we deleted it.”

Tony clapped once. “That’s enough entertainment for the evening, folks.”

But Bucky wasn’t done.

Oh no.

Because now he had moved into the delusional caretaker phase.

“You need water,” he said, cradling your face in his hands like you were seconds from passing out. “Where’s your water? You gotta hydrate. It’s important. You’re so small. You dehydrate faster than other people.”

“I’ve been hydrating,” you said flatly. “Meanwhile, you drank what was basically liquid gasoline.”

“Because I’m a super soldier,” he whispered, poking your nose. “You’re just a civilian angel.”

You looked around the room helplessly. “Can someone tase him?”

“No way,” Sam said through his laughter. “I’m letting this play out.”

“I’m gonna make you toast,” Bucky declared, staggering toward the kitchen. “That’ll soak up the booze. Where do we keep toast?”

“THE BREADBOX,” you and Steve shouted in unison.

Bucky paused, then snapped his fingers. “Right. Secret bread drawer.”

You flopped back against the couch as he banged around the kitchen, opening cabinets with the urgency of someone defusing a bomb. “Why is he like this?”

Nat shrugged. “Honestly? This is the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”

You glanced into the kitchen where Bucky was holding two slices of bread up like they were treasure. “He looks like he’s about to kiss the bread.”

“I might,” he shouted. “Because it’s for her.”

You groaned into a throw pillow.

By the time you finally got him wrangled into a coat and ready to leave, he’d managed to trip over a chair, try to bridal carry you and almost drop both of you, and glare at Sam while yelling, “DON’T CORRUPT HER WITH YOUR FILTHY JOKES. SHE’S A LADY.”

“She has more dirty jokes than I do!” Sam replied.

“DOESN’T MATTER. SHE’S MY LADY.”

“Bucky, get in the car.”

“Don’t raise your voice, she’s had a rough night,” he whispered, swaying dangerously.

You rubbed your temples. “I literally haven’t.”

When you finally got him into the passenger seat and clicked his seatbelt, Bucky turned to you with glassy, adoring eyes and whispered, “I love you so much, it’s stupid.”

Your heart softened.

“I know,” you said gently, brushing his hair back from his face. “You’ll remember all of this tomorrow and die of shame.”

"Noooooo" Bucky howled, letting his body go deadweight while Thor continued to carry him to his room, the only one strong enough to get the soldier off the floor after he'd polished the bottle of Asdargian mead clean. "Wanna see y/n"

"Yeah, can't imagine what y/n would say if she saw you being carried off like a princess" A very tipsy Sam and Steve followed behind while Bucky's bottom lip jutted out into an exaggerated pout, head thrown back with is eyes closed in defiance "She's still off on that mission, she'll be back soon, you can see her then-

Before Steve could finish, Bucky's eyes shot open, scrambling out of Thor's arms and stumbling towards your room. There was no time to stop him from entering, a drunk giggle slipping past his lips as he let himself in and sighed contently. By the time the three men reached, Bucky's shirt had already been discarded beside his socks.

"Oh no- Steve snorted at the sound of Bucky's belt bucky hitting the floor, his lip sticking out in concentration as he tried to work at the button of his jeans.

"Barnes, I swear if you take your pants off-Damn it" Sam huffed, a pair of black jeans landing on his head. "At least keep your boxers-Oh hell nah" He ducked before Bucky's intimates became aquainted with his face. "Don't you dare helicopter that third leg-he's doing it"

No one intervened as Bucky decided to make himself more comfortable, clearly missing you as he sighed, walking over to your closet. He was in there suspiciously long before emerging with-

"Buck, those are-

"Soft" Bucky hummed, coming out of your closet with a set of pj's you wore often, oversized so they'd be extra comfy. Bucky giggled at the smell of your soft scent, slipping the shirt over his head and putting the pants on, flopping on your bed like a cat. "Smells like y/n"

"Do we just leave him here"

"At least he's wearing pants" Steve sighed, frowning when he heard running footsteps approaching along with a chaotic cackling, who else would be still this active at this hour-

"There you guys are!! We're doing body shots off of- wait you're here. C'mon capsicle, take your shirt off-

"For fucks' sake Tony"

"Where the hell did you get that jacket" Sam's face scrunched when he notice Tony's shirt was missing however he was in a large coat which he'd thrown off, the pile of for landing on a half sleepy Bucky. Bucky's eye peeked open at all the fuss, wrapping himself up in the coat and blissfully falling asleep with his face in your pillow, the rest of the chaos mere white noise.

"SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS-"

"TONY NO"

"TONY YES"

Present

"What do we have here" you coo, giggling at a very disoriented Bucky who blinks up at you with puppy eyes, a pink blush spreading on his face. You'd just returned from your mission with Nat, the entire compound still reeking of alcohol, the hallway littered with various still drunk Avenger men. The only thing that cut through the smell was the fresh breakfast a happy Thor had already started, the only one standing as if nothing had happened.

You'd stepped over a sleeping Sam and Steve in the hallway to get to your room, cocking a brow at the large mound of fur and soft snoring sleeping in your bed.

"Good morning, sweet boy" You brushed back Bucky's hair, bending down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, letting him take his time to figure out his surroundings, "have a fun night"

"Missed you" he mumbled, pulling you to lay on the bed so he could cuddle up with you, his head now resting on your chest instead. "Missed you so much"

"I missed you too, bub" You continued to gently play with his hair, happy your boyfriend got to have a night of fun and thankful that you always kept painkillers in your bedside drawer. Poor baby was going to need it. You noticed the pile of clothes that were thrown on the floor, they were definitely Bucky's but Bucky was in clothes so what was he wearing-

"Buck?"

You swear you'd never leave your boyfriend unsupervised with Thor ever again.

You'd just slipped out with Wanda for some fresh air for a couple of minutes. And by the time you were back in the room, the world had erupted into chaos.

You can't believe the scene unfolding in front of you right now. Wanda is already laughing, wondering out loud “what the hell happened here?”

Thor. He happened.

Apparently he thought it was a good idea to ‘celebrate the celestial friendships in a grand manner’ by bringing asgardian mead to a team bonding party.

Steve, ever the cautious one, backed out immediately. Even Tony passed by murmuring something about the quality of other worldly drinks being questionable.

But your boyfriend wasn't one of them. He was the adventurous kind. The kind who wouldn't back off from the challenge Sam threw his way “Your old ass probably can't even hold the good stuff”

And bucky, ever the enthusiast downed the whole glass like it was apple juice, just to prove that he can, in fact, hold his liquor very well.

He feels it immediately. The world looks faded and flowery and his words are slurring. Sam looks funny. He always looks funny. And steve—he's his best friend, bucky likes him. But where are you. He wants you…..

The guys soon realize how much trouble they'll be in just as they discern that bucky is not just tipsy, he's drunk and delusional.

“She's going to kill us” Steve eyes Sam. He shrugs “Whatever man, don't tell her about the asgardian drink and we'll be fine”

You walked in right on cue, giggling with Wanda.

The guys are gathered around the bar, clearly guilty and trying to look normal as you approach.

Bucky is swaying between the kitchen counter and the chair while steve is trying and failing to make him stand upright.

“What did you do to him?”

“He just had a few shots” He announced like it was the most normal thing ever.

“Yeah! The asgardian stuff. It's really potent” Sam snickers from behind, already tipsy. Steve elbows him with an expression that says you were supposed to keep it to yourself.

“What??”

“This man shows signs of true courage and valor” Thor announces out of nowhere, clapping bucky's back encouragingly. It almost knocks him out of balance and you lunge to steady him.

Catching him just in time before he fell face first on the kitchen counter.

“What valor?” You glare at Thor, then at bucky, then back at Thor before jabbing an accusing finger in his face “You—You fix this!” You point towards bucky who's having an intense staring competition with a Capri-sun.

He smiles when he catches a glimpse of your face and tugs you closer to him like he's about to say something conspiratorial.

“Babe” he begins, and you brace yourself, “You ever realize orange juice is just... fruit blood?”

“What?” Your face contorts in confusion.

“Yeah. We’re vampires for citrus.”

You groan, fingertips massaging your temples “Buck, you need water and therapy.”

“No” he perks up, eyes glinting “I need shots. Where's shots?” He starts walking more like waddling towards the bar where Tony is helping himself to a glass of whiskey.

He grabs a beer bottle as you gently nudge him and he gets redirected towards the couch while you get a glass of water for him.

You knew he was beyond redemption the moment he called the lamp “bro”. But this is a new level. Bucky is swaying on the couch, cheeks flushed, hair a mess, proudly clutching a half-empty beer bottle like it’s an award.

You kneel in front of him with a glass of water. “Drink.”

He squints at it. “That’s not beer.”

“That’s water.”

“I don’t trust water,” he whispers. “It’s… sneaky.”

You exhale through your teeth. This is going to be a long night.

Your friends have formed an audience around him, snickering like gremlins. Sam is already holding up his phone. “This is the best night of my life.”

You shoot him a death glare. “Put that down.” Bucky pats your knee. “No, no, let him record. The world needs to know…”

“Buck—” you warn.

He grins at the room. “Guys… GUYS. I need to tell you something super important about my girlfriend.”

You lunge to grab his arm. He wiggles away like a toddler on sugar.

“She’s —”

“Bucky. SIT.”

He immediately sits straighter and salutes you. “Yes, ma’am.”

Steve doubles over with laughter.

You shove the glass into his hands. “Please drink before you die.”

He pats your arm, nodding “I’ll drink water.”

“Yes! Good—”

“From your mouth.” You choke. “WHAT?!”

“Little kiss?” he clarifies with an exaggerated fish face pout “Hydration kisses.” Your entire face is red but when you glare at him, he takes a dramatic sip, reluctantly, grimacing like it’s poison. “Taste like… hydration.”

“Yes. Correct. Good boy.”

He beams. “That's what you say in bed, doll” His smile is all teeth as he wiggles his eyebrows. “Remember that one time you—” you slam your palm to his mouth stopping him from spilling out insider information that he'll regret the next day.

But he pulls your hand away with a gentle pat. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I wanna tell them this one.”

You brace yourself.

“She calls me a ‘sleepy burrito’ when I roll myself in the blanket.”

Dead silence.

Then the room explodes into laughter.

“That’s not even the bad one,” he adds helpfully. You nearly pass out. “Bucky, please.”

But he’s unstoppable now.

“She kisses my forehead,” he confesses loudly, “every morning. Like a ritual blessing. I am BLESSED. A holy burrito.”

Okay. You can live with that, at least he didn't say anything about—

“AND—AND—”

Here we go.

“Did you know,” he says, swaying, “that she thinks my butt is adorable?”

“No she does not!” you panic shout. He's unbothered.

“And she likes to bit—”“NO!” you screech, covering his mouth again.

He keeps mumbling incoherently. Lips brushing against your palm. Until you feel something wet sliding along your fingers.

“Ewww. You licked me!” You jerk back in horror before wiping your saliva slicked hand at his shirt but he catches your wrist, holding it to his heart.

He's smiling at you like you're made of stars and everything that's holy. Then, he suddenly hugs you and says, “If we were penguins, I’d share my fish with you.”

Your heart melts a little. This big bad super soldier, who's seen all the possible horrors of the world has now turned into an absolute drunk mush, who's so desperately in love with you that you’re on his mind even if he's drunk-dreaming.

You hug him back. “I'd share my fish with you too, sweetheart”

He beams happily, before marching towards the coffee table and standing on it like it’s a stage. He stumbles and you hold back laughter.

“This woman—” he points at you “—is the love of my life. She smells like… like happiness and laundry detergent.”

You're gasping between laughs, “Sit down before you break your ankle!”

“No. Let me finish. She deserves a medal for dating this level of handsome.” He points at himself

You're wheezing by now, but you manage to pull him down somehow.

He sits back down, huffing in annoyance. Somewhere behind you, Tony is mumbling about having to watch drunk penguin proposals.

But you could care less as bucky pulls you down beside him. You settle on the couch and he immediately accepts you as his pillow.

His one hand is wrapped around your torso, other cradling your cheek while his head rests on your shoulder. He sighs—relaxed and joyous, like you're the most comfortable place to sleep on.

Right when you think, he's out for the night, he perks up again, “YOU GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW SOFT HER SHOULDERS ARE.”

You grab the nearest cushion to hit him with.

“BUCK. LIE. DOWN.”

He ignores you and points at your friends with grand drunken authority. “She moisturizes. Like a… like a dolphin. A sexy dolphin.”

You cover your face. “Please somebody sedate him.” The team is shrieking.

He flops sideways dramatically but STILL keeps talking. “And—AND—her hair?” He clutches his chest. “Smells like heaven. And fruit. Fruity heaven.” You hiss at him, “Go. To. Sleep.”

He lies back down on your lap, obediently.

Eyes closed.

Peaceful.

Three whole seconds pass.

His eyes still closed, until he suddenly says, loud and clear, “You have the cutest knees.”

You freeze. “…What?” He rolls onto his back like a malfunctioning robot. “Cute. Knees. Everyone’s ignoring this. But I see the truth.”

“That's it” you announce standing up and hauling him on his feet before practically dragging him towards the bedroom.

All while he's yelling “Not tonight doll, you're drunk!”

“I'm not drunk you absolute menace, you are!” You can still hear the team's laughter when you round the corner.

He's on you as soon as you enter the room. You've barely even closed the door before he pushes you onto the bed, flopping over you like you're a body pillow.

He kisses your cheek, half asleep. “Also your elbows? Hot.”

“STOP TALKING.”

“Like… aggressively hot. Spicy elbows.”

You're wheezing. “Baby, please, I’m begging you… shut your mouth.”

But he is unstoppable. He's in the confession mode right now.

“I also ate your secret chocolate stash last month.”

Your head snaps toward him. “YOU WHAT?”

“Then I blamed your period brain.”

Your jaw drops. “JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES”

“Actually,” he mumbles, nuzzling his face into your chest “I ate it while thinking about your tits.”

You shove him lightly “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.”

He giggles. Giggles. “You can’t get rid of me, I love you too much,” he singsongs.

You bury your face in your hands. “This is the worst night of my life.”

He reaches out blindly, his hand landing on your thigh. “Also, did you know your thighs make my brain go BRRRRRR—”

“DON’T MAKE SOUND EFFECTS.”

He tries to sit up but immediately flops sideways again. “You are my—” he squints with drunken effort, “—my beautiful emotional support mammal.”

You stare at him like he just insulted your entire ancestry. “Okay. We’re done. You are DONE.”

You grab a blanket, throw it over him, and declare, “GO. TO. SLEEP.” He snuggles into it immediately. Then thinks better of it and pulls you in instead. “Okay. But if I dream about your knees again, don’t get mad.”

—-

Bucky wakes up looking like a man who fought God and lost. He groans into the pillow. “Why does my tongue feel like carpet?”

You stand at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, expression cold enough to lower the room temperature. He slowly opens one eye.

“…Hi?”. You don’t reply.

He sits up cautiously. “Baby? …Sweetheart?”

Silence. Dangerous silence.

He swallows. “Why are you staring at me like I committed tax fraud?”

You take a slow breath. Then you unfold an entire sheet of paper. Front. And back.

His face drains of color. “What… is that?”

You tap the top of the page. “This is the list of things you said last night.”

He reads the heading and immediately collapses backward. “Oh God.”

"The list of shame"

“OH you remember nothing, huh?”

He covers his face. “Please tell me I didn’t say anything weird.”

“Would you like me to begin?” You smirk

“No.” You read anyway.

Item 1:

“You said — and I quote — ‘Water is sneaky and cannot be trusted.’”

He groans. “Okay, fair, I stand by that.”

Item 4:

“You told steve that I ‘bless you like a holy burrito.’”

Bucky grabs a pillow and screams into it.

Item 7:

You toasted to “The invention of socks” and said “Pickle Juice is holy therapy water” he just stares, expressionless.

Item 9:

“You said my elbows are ‘aggressively hot.’”

He covers his face again.

“WHY WOULD I SAY THAT OUT LOUD—”

Item 10:

“You said my knees are ‘tiny confident circles.’”

He violently flops onto the mattress.

You continue down the list while he dies a little more with every line.

Item 13:

“You said you want to drink water ‘from my mouth.’”

“I MEANT A KISS.”

“The world knows what you meant. You said it loudly.”

Item 17:

“You admitted you ate my secret chocolate stash and blamed my period.”

He curls into a fetal position.

“Okay… okay that one’s actually unforgivable.”

Item 18:

“You said my thighs make your brain go ‘BRRRRRRRR.’”

You demonstrate the sound effect.

He covers his ears. “PLEASE NO.”

Item 20:

“You called me your ‘emotional support mammal.’”

He throws the pillow at himself. “STOP.”

You lower the paper dramatically.He’s silent for a long moment. Then, in a tiny voice, “…Are we still together?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, idiot.”

He sighs in relief and flops forward, hugging your waist. “Thank God. I thought the elbow comments was the breakup point.”

You stroke his hair. “You’re never drinking again.” He nods into your stomach. “Agreed. 100%. No more alcohol. Ever.”

You pat his head. “Good.” He looks up at you, embarrassed and hopeful.

“…Can we burn the list?”

You smile too sweetly. “No.” of course not. You're keeping it for blackmailing prospects.

He groans before you add “the team is waiting for you in the common room by the way”

He sits up, face painted with absolute horror “I want the earth to swallow me right now”

You smirk, evil “you'll pray for worse when you see the videos”

“THERE'S VIDEOS??”

Dividers : @/cursed-carmine

Tag list : @redstarleftarm, @sweetserendipity65, @sambuckystony, @nymphhbabiee, @darlingdenise

Natasha was standing at the bus stop with your duffle bag in hand, you had packed it last night and begged her to bring it to you so you could catch this bus rather than the next one that comes in an hour. She had a smirk on her face as you jogged up, taking the bag with a smile. 

“I can bring your backpack back to the house, if you want?” Nat offered, her hand already outstretched to take it. 

“No,” you caught your breath, “thank you though,” you smiled and pulled her in for a hug, “have a nice reading week, I’ll be back Thursday.” 

“I still can’t believe you’re up there for six days,” she laughed, “throwback to when you thought he hated you.” 

“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes, “and yes, I’m up there for a week, apparently there’s some birthday thing because seemingly everyone is born in February.” 

The bus driver honked and you hugged Natasha goodbye, quickly tapping your card and found a spot. You were by yourself which was great, you needed to put your duffle bag somewhere. This would be a full day of travelling instead of the ride you could have got yesterday, Bucky’s parents have some cabin that’s three hours away but this day would take double the time due to a bus and then train ride. 

You had two important tutorials today that you couldn’t miss, it also helped that Friday had a discount for student bussing, there was always a brightside. You shot a quick text to Bucky to let him know you were on transport number one and super happy to see him. 

You had met Bucky’s parents before you two started dating because Bucky invited the entire group up to the cabin but forgot to let his parents know and they had the same idea. You then spent the weekend with ten people; half were in college and the other were retired. 

It definitely was an important night for you. 

“James,” Ernie slapped Bucky’s shoulder, “I need you to understand that you don’t meet those kinds of women everyday, that girl is perfect for you, you have to sweep her off her feet.” 

“She’s dating someone, Ern,” Bucky whispered, rolling his eyes and leaning back in his camp chair, “this weekend blows.” 

“No it doesn’t,” you looked over your shoulder and paused your manicure for Ernie’s wife, “I think Melissa would disagree, would you not?” Melissa nodded and held out her nails, “see?” you looked at Bucky and smiled, but you could see something was actually wrong. 

“I’m going to bed,” it was rare for Bucky to leave the party first, he normally started it. He threw open the patio door and you watched as you stomped upstairs. 

Ernie looked at you, “are you seeing anyone?” 

“It’s complicated,” you sighed and put down Melissa’s hand to grab the other, “he’s…” you groaned, “I know he’s not right for me but…sometimes proximity and being in a relationship for as long as I have is comfortable, y’know?” 

“I don’t,” Ernie said bluntly, “If my lady was away from me for three months I’d write her letters, I’d keep that love alive-” he cleared his throat, “tell me, has this boyfriend made sure you got here okay? Sent you a whatever those are called…texts yet?” 

You purse your lips together, it seemed everyone’s conversations had ended and they were all looking at you. You looked over at Nat who nodded sadly, knowing the answer already because you had already told her. 

“No,” you whispered, “he…he didn’t want me coming because he doesn’t like me around my friends ‘cause…” you looked up at Nat again, not wanting to air out everything in front of these people you barely know, there’s layers to these things and you didn’t want ruin this weekend by talking about your shitty boyfriend again. 

Ernie sighed, “take it from me,” he tipped his bottle towards you, “a lot of people say life is short but when you’re aware you’re in a mistake it feels like a million lifetimes,” he took a long swig, “slowly withering away.” 

You took a shaky breath and stood up, “I’m also going to hit the hay, see you all tomorrow.” 

Half an hour later you were sitting on the corner of your bed, sobbing into your hands as you tried to keep quiet. You could feel this weight from your chest release but also it felt like a heavy blanket was weighing you down, you could barely sit up straight or breathe. 

Five years of a high school sweetheart wasted, all because you told him you didn’t like that he didn’t check up on you. The things he called you, the names. Those names pressed harder on your chest, squishing you down until you were gasping for air while tears streamed down your face. All of your senses were becoming distorted, your vision was slowly losing focus and you couldn’t see out of your peripheral vision, the feeling of your fingers scratching down your neck felt like TV static, everything sounded like you were underwater. 

“y/n?” The door burst open and you could only hear your name being called from underwater, from his long brown hair tied up being the only thing you could register, you knew it was Bucky. He took your hand that was tugging down your throat to try and create air hole and placed it on his own chest, he took your other hand and held with his, after making sure you could keep your hand on his chest by yourself he cupped your cheek, “breathe, honey, you have to breathe,” he could feel his rapid heartbeat, it wasn’t helping like it normally does. 

“I-” you managed to hack out, trying so hard to gain control. He gently tapped your face to try and bring you back, you couldn’t hear him talking over the pounding in your ears but you knew he was trying. Thrashing out, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close, feeling things begin to settle when he held you tightly. 

“You are very safe,” he spoke directly into your ear as he held you close, “you are safe with me, alright?” 

“Okay,” you whimpered, balling up his t-shirt as you breathed in his scent which lowered your heart rate. “We broke up,” you gritted your teeth, “I called him a while ago.” 

Bucky pulled out of the hug but kept his hands on you, “how did that happen?” 

“I didn’t like how he didn’t check in on me,” you looked down at your lap, “and I…and he bit back and called me names and I just had enough, so I broke up with him and he screamed at me,” you let out a wet laugh, “I froze and his voice sounded so crisp it was like he was standing in front of me so I didn’t hang up, he just kept going until I snapped out of it.” 

“Do you want to come sleep in my bed?” Bucky brushed away your tears, “just so you’re not alone?” 

“Okay,” you timidly stood up. 

“We will be stopping for five minutes at the Main Station, please take your time getting off and remember to take all your personal belongings with you, have a nice rest of your day, thank you.” 

You sat up straight and got off the bus, heading out into the main area and looking up at the screens to try and find your train platform number. You walked around for a while and noticed it was number 14 but you had time, so you got yourself a snack while you waited beside the tracks with a few other people. After sending Bucky another text you looked down the tracks and snacked on your cream cheese bagel, patiently waiting for the light to appear in the distance. 

********

The house was already buzzing with family members, they were all asking about if you were going to be there. Apparently your mother had told them about you, you had met Bucky’s immediate family but no cousins or grandparents yet; this would be the big day. 

“So you’re making her take a train and a bus to get here when you could have stayed back one more day?” Bucky’s uncle was already tipsy, for some reason getting upset and the situation. 

“y/n and I both talked and we agreed this was best for the both of us,” Bucky sighed in annoyance as you took another sip of his beer, “I’m driving her home next week and picking her up form the station today, so…” Bucky rolled his eyes and headed into the kitchen to find his mom plating all the appetizers. 

Winnie looked up and smiled, “could you be a doll and bring this out?” she nudged the spinach dip, Bucky nodded and picked it up. “Is everything alright?” 

Bucky looked around to make sure no one was in earshot, “can people just stay out of my relationship?” he whispered while he walked around the island to get near his mom, “I mean, my God, we aren’t going to crash and burn just because she wanted to go to two very important classes which makes her have to come up today,” Bucky placed his beer down, “it's just everyone is on my ass about it and it’s starting to piss me off.” 

Winnie nodded, “you’re the oldest out of this generation in the family Bucky, all your cousins are younger than you and you’re the first to introduce a girl,” Winnie cupped his face, “people are just excited there’s fresh meat, I bet you any money they’ll swarm her when she shows up.” 

“That is the exact opposite of what I want to happen,” Bucky leaned against the counter and crossed his arm, Winnie stepped in front of him. “Have you mentioned in the e-mail about-”

“Yes, I have,” she scrunched her nose, “no one will make a single comment about what or how much y/n eats, no one will mention anything of the sort.” 

Bucky let out a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back, “I want this to be enjoyable for her,” Bucky looked at his mom who was nodding, “y’know, I want her to like my family but I also know the sheer number of Barnes’ can make anyone feel cornered, and when she feels cornered she…” Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, “and the last time she was here she broke up with her previous boyfriend,” Winnie placed her hand on his clenched jaw - making him relax it.

Her eyes flicked between Bucky’s, “you get protective and this anxious when she does, you hear?” Bucky nodded again, “right now, you are going to put that bowl on the coffee table and then come back for the chips as well as the pigs in the blanket and then you will go pick up your lovely girlfriend,” Winnie spoke softly and Bucky closed his eyes, “and you won’t crawl all over her with information and you won’t be glued to her hip all day, you can’t be the one to corner her, alright?” 

Bucky bit his bottom lip, “I love you, Ma.” he pulled her in for a hug, “I got really lucky with you, didn’t I?” 

Winnie chuckled, “I'm speaking from experience of meeting your father’s parents back then,” she sassed, “now go run all that stuff,” she waved him away. 

After putting everything out and finding George, his dad, Bucky got the keys to the truck and headed out. He brought a blanket for the passenger seat as the window in the old truck didn’t fully close and the heaters didn’t work. Bucky kept one hidden in the truck for himself when he was driving his dad's car. 

********

It had been five minutes since you got off the bus, you were shaking as you stood in the parking lot. Your arms folded over one another and you bounced in spot to keep from freezing solid, nothing helped with the outfit you were wearing. The train had the nicer bathrooms so you changed there, pulling on black tights to go under and a chunky wool dress that seemed like an oversized sweater; something Bucky would wear. 

The cabin was in the woods and a little more North, making it colder than campus even though the winter was not completely gone yet. Spring break was more like the end of winter break for where you lived, but a break was a break. 

A truck pulled in and flashed its headlights, you ran up and opened the door. Bucky looked nice with his dark green flannel, black shirt complimenting his hair and eyes. You lunged over the center console and hugged him, his hands pulling you as tight as he could. 

“You look so pretty,” he whispered, “you’re going to have my eight year old cousin wrapped around your finger,” he laughed as he took your duffle bag and threw it in the back seat. After you got settled in, Bucky drove away, taking one hand off the wheel to place on your thigh. 

“So,” you sighed, “what do I need to know?” 

Bucky laughed, “you’ll find out soon enough,” he briefly looked over at you, “just-...” Bucky scratched his stubble that was growing in, “I have a lot of family members and I was talking to my mom about this,” Bucky looked over once he stopped at the red light, “you’re the first person someone has brought home, I’m the first to have a girlfriend and bring her to a family thing so…”

“Go on,” you cupped his cheek. 

“They are going to be all over you,” he admitted, “they already are and you weren’t there yet,” he pushed out a laugh, “so I’m not trying to scare you or anything, I just want to to be prepared and if you start feeling anxious just tell me, we’ll take a second outside, okay?” 

You nodded, “that’s lovely Bucky,” you smiled wide, “you talked to Winnie for advice about me,” you cooed and scratched his cheek when he got extremely red, “I love that, baby, thank you.” 

“And…” Bucky swallowed hard, “I just want full disclosure with this,” he turned down a dirt path, “I ask them to keep comments about food to a minimum, I just want you to know that.” 

Your lips parted with a gasp, “really?” he looked over like he was in trouble but was met with you melt into your seat, “I really appreciate that, lovey, thank you.” 

The moment you stepped foot in the cabin you were greeted with loud chatter coming from another room, Bucky called out and you heard Winnie call back. Bucky took your bags from you and also hung up your jacket, smiling as he gave you suggestive eyebrows when he saw your full look, it was becoming a running joke between the two of you. 

Winnie ran over with her apron on, she held her arms out for a hug and you gladly fell into it. You had met George and Winnie a few times before, it was easy to find out that Bucky was a copy and paste of Winnie, everything about him was the same. She took your arm and stole you away from Bucky, taking you into the kitchen with her. 

“So,” she opened the fridge, “I picked up those ingredients you sent me, they are all over in their little corner,” she pointed to the top right, “dinner is going to be early so whenever you need to start just go ahead, alright?” 

“Sounds good,” you nodded. Before heading into the busy living room you were pouring yourself a glass of white wine, “George, nice to see you!” you reached out for a hug and he gladly accepted. 

“You got your work all done?” He asked as he took out another beer for himself, “Bucky told us you two two tutorials?” 

“Yep,” you took a small sip, “I was confused about the lesson and I didn’t want to be thinking about it this entire week so I thought I would clear it up for the big celebration,” you giggled until you quickly realized something, “has it arrived, by the way?” 

George couldn’t contain his smile, “it has, it’s going to be in your spare room under the bed.” 

“Perfect,” you raised your eyebrows, took your glass, and headed into the loudest room in the house. 

********

Repeating the same conversations over and over bored you like crazy, you didn’t know how many times you had to go over your entire life story until the entire room was on the same page. It was the same thing every time. 

You were standing by yourself with your second glass in your hand, what looked like an uncle had locked eyes with you and was coming over. You smoothed down your dress and smiled back, when he walked up he shook your hand and then faced the group before the both of you. 

“How are you liking the family so far?” simply from the way he talked you started to figure out who his kids were, you could also tell he was on Bucky’s dad’s side. His posture was almost perfect, a sweater tied around his neck and hanging off his back like a cape. 

“I’ve met some of you guys before, just in passing, but seeing everyone together is very sweet,” you giggled and looked over at Bucky who was showing his eldest grandpa something on his phone. 

“What are you studying?” he asked and took a sip of what looked like whiskey, it was odd because almost everyone else was drinking wine or a beer from the bottle. 

“Psychology,” you said for the ninth time, “but I’m definitely going back to school after, to specify.” 

“Huh,” he poked his tongue against his cheek, looking around the room again. He seemed to be waiting for something, he fixed his posture and you tried to look at where he was looking but nothing could be found. “I have my PhD,” he leaned down and added when you didn’t ask. 

“When did you defend it?” your eyes lit up, “i’ve always wanted to watch one happen in real life, it’s so amazing what you guys can remember and work with on the spot, I’d be too nervous,” you laughed and brough your glass up to your lips. 

He seemed to grow red very quickly, “I haven’t defended it yet, I’m…” he paused, “I’m close to submission on my paper.” 

“Oh,” you nodded, “so you don’t have it yet?” You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the way he was trying to get out of the hole he dug himself into, he was far from actually having his PhD. part of you felt like he already had people call him Doctor. 

“I don’t,” he gritted out, “I’m going to grab a beer.” 

********

You were working away in the kitchen to make your little desserts for everyone, Winnie had taken her break and was mingling with everyone else. Bucky joined you not too long after to simply sit and watch, he watched you in silence as you looked back and forth between the recipe and the bowl in front of you. 

“I love it when you talk to yourself,” Bucky muttered, “you’re adorable.” 

“Shut up,” you grabbed the whisk and started mixing. 

You and Bucky stayed together in comfortable silence, both of you had done tons of talking already and just being near one another was enough. He had this calming presence that worked even when you weren’t aware you were up tight, it seemed his aura lowered your heart rate no matter what. 

People would come in and out to fill their drinks or see what was going on in here, a lot asked if they could help but you kindly declined. The music could be heard from the kitchen but not the living room, you bopped around as you placed the cookie mix onto the cookie sheet. 

At one point Bucky made his way around the island and towards you, picking up your wine glass and going to the fridge. He filled it and added ice cubes when you asked, making you smile to yourself as he softly replied. You looked over your shoulder to see him move swiftly but with care, slowly dropping them in so it didn’t bang against the glass or cause the wine to splash up. 

His hands made their way around your middle, you plunked the cookie dough on the sheet as his head dropped to your shoulder and stayed there for a while. His entire body was pressed up against you, Bucky just swayed as you worked. Every once in a while he’d place a soft kiss to your shoulder to reach around to tuck some hair behind your ear, nothing that got in your way or annoyed you. 

“I think it’s almost dinner,” Bucky whispered, giving you a squeeze. 

“Can I sit beside you?” you joked, looking over your shoulder to see his smiling face. It was a no brainer but you still found it sweet he nodded quickly. “I also think this is going to be my last drink,” you took a sip, “it’s really nice but I’m getting tipsy,” you both laughed. 

Bucky let go and took the tray to place in the oven, “my dad always breaks out the whisky at night,” he shook his head to himself, obviously remembering something, “beer makes me happy and funny drunk while whisky makes me all needy and clingy, get ready for that.” he walked over again, “I mean it.” 

“You already are a grade A clinger,” you pecked his lips, “looks like you’ll be miserable with me in the guest bedroom.” 

Bucky quickly shook his head, “nu-uh, I’m sneaking in or bringing you with me, I’m going to fall asleep on top of you, I’m calling it now.” 

Everyone made their way into the dining room, you found your spot beside Bucky and looked around at all the food in front of you. For a moment you were overwhelmed but Bucky’s hand was swiftly placed on your thigh, when you looked over Bucky wasn’t even looking at you, he was talking to his gramps again. 

As the food was passed around you put enough on your plate, getting coy when Bucky gave you a bun without asking. Little conversations began to build but you and Bucky stayed in your own little world, whispering to each other and laughing as if you were out on a date with no one else around. 

After a while Bucky’s youngest cousin began to ask you questions, it was much more entertaining than the adults. She asked if you had any imaginary friends or dogs, everyone laughed as she rapidly fired questions. 

“Do you and Bucky love each other?” the little girl asked. 

“Very much so,” you giggled and leaned into Bucky, he kissed your temple. 

“So…” she lost her train of thought, “do you and Bucky kiss?” 

Everyone laughed and Bucky answered, “sometimes,” causing the room to awkwardly laugh. 

The eight your old tucked her chin into her neck, “do you hold hands?” 

You lifted your hand to show you were already holding it, bringing your other hand up to sip your wine. 

“Do you have sex?” 

Immediately spat out. 

The white wine sprayed all over the kid’s face and food that people were eating, everyone erupted into belly laughs, including Bucky, but you stared horrified at the little girl crying in front of everyone. Your hand covered your mouth as you sat in shock, the little girl’s mother scolded her for asking that and wiped her face off with a decorative napkin. 

“That was too good!” the PhD faker slapped his knee, everyone agreed except you. 

You sat in horror as everyone calmed down and worked around their infected meals, you just curled up and kept your head down. The last thing you wanted was for this to become a household story that will show up next year, the embarrassment made your entire body boiling hot. You reached over and grabbed Bucky’s ice water, taking a couple gulps which also meant he looked over at you. 

“No,” he whispered, “no stress hives,” he rubbed his thumb down your neck, “baby, it’s okay,” you didn’t listen as you kept drinking his water, feeling him rub your back as you tried to cool down. 

Occasionally someone would laugh, all you thought about was the kid being wiped down in the nearest bathroom, it looked like a whale breached right beside her. She probably didn’t know what that meant and had run out of questions, she was so cute when asking other questions you knew she was coming from a good heart but not the right definition; she must have meant to say something else. 

You kept to yourself for the rest of dinner, not really engaging in the conversations and no one talked to you anyways. Eating quickly, you finished with enough time to get the cookies out of the oven and have a moment alone in the kitchen. You found another cup and filled it with ice water, letting Bucky keep his own glass. 

“Here are the cookies,” Bucky called as you walked in with the platter, “you guys, they’re amazing,” he took some of the plates away from the people who were done, “does anyone want coffee or tea?” 

“Oh, Buck, I can do that,” George stood up from the head of the table, “stay here, alright?” 

Bucky sat down and was quick to pluck a cookie for himself, making sure you saw him eat it and encouraging other people to eat as well. They all began to snack away, quickly looking at you with wide eyes; they were a hit!

“It’s a very old recipe,” you smiled. 

“Tell them the story,” Bucky nudged your arm. 

“Well,” you smoothed out your placemat in front of you, “My mom and I were moving out of this apartment complex because they were tearing it down for some…I don’t know, high rise,” you looked around to see everyone intensively listening, “and so when they were in the middle of construction my mom and I went back to check it out and it turned around there was this cookie recipe that seemed weird on paper with all the ingredients but we gave it a shot, it was old and crumpled up but you could buy it all at the store,” you took another bite, “so when we told people my mom’s friend said that it was probably used as insulation because our complex was old and people used to use news papers,” you laughed, “so we think this recipe literally came from the inside of a wall because my mom and I were in the rubble when we found it.” 

“Isn't that crazy?” Bucky laughed and took another, “when I first heard it, I was like maybe it was keeping you guys warm the entire time, maybe it was next to old newspapers that kept you guys warm?” He slung his arm around you. 

“Why couldn’t you guys get real insulating stuff?” one of the teen cousins asked. 

“It was an old building,” you took a sip of water. 

“Yeah but like,” he paused and scrunched up his face, “couldn’t they fix it, make it with modern materials?” 

You thought about it though you knew the answer. You held yourself back from saying it was the cheapest building on the block but you instead smiled and said, “I’ll give you the landlord’s number, you can set him straight.” 

Everyone laughed and the PhD guy chimed in, “does this recipe call for you to spray anything in it, because I don’t know if that’s a culture thing,” he chuckled, and the rest of the group laughed. 

You could feel the heat spreading around your neck again, “ha, ha,” you smiled through it, “I’ll never live that down, will I?” 

“It’s such a funny story, I’ll tell that one instead of that recipe one for next time,” he had the audacity to wink at you. His smile fell quickly, you hadn’t given him a face but when you looked over your shoulder to see Bucky beside you, it was clear. 

If looks could kill. 

********

You had called it a night a while ago, curled up in bed after finishing some work. Most of the family had left before it got too dark, not wanting to drive out of the lonesome woods in the middle of the night. Bucky stayed down for a while, of course drinking his whisky with his dad. 

“It could have been worse,” you said out loud as you looked at your duffle bag sitting on the chair in the corner of the room. Nothing was perfect but you had made friends with Bucky’s family and learned a lot, they seemed to really like you and not swarm as much as you thought. 

Hearing heavy footsteps coming up the stairs you listened close, smiling to yourself when you were able to label them as Bucky’s footsteps. Your back was to the door but you still closed your eyes, wanting to see what he’d do if he saw you sleeping. The door cracked open and you heard a gasp, he was drunk and needy. 

His hands slipped under your curled frame and picked you up, “my sack of potatoes,” he whispered to himself and left the room, turning off the light. When you were tossed onto his bed you opened your eyes, Bucky was taking off his shirt and nice pants. 

“Are you really going to-” he cut you off as he slipped under the sheets and laid right on you, just like he said he would. His face nuzzled into your chest and his arms held you close, you couldn’t help but play with his hair and watch how fast he fell asleep. “It's your birthday soon,” you whispered, “you’ll get your present soon.” 

Bucky held you impossibly closer, “it’s already here, baby.”

Masterlist 

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 By the time Bucky’s hangover had turned bearable, he was finally starting to remember what had led to him drinking so much. Tony had a little party for all you Avengers which Thor had brought Asgardian ale to. It was fun for a little while but then someone had suggested a drinking game and that was the last part he could remember. You and Bruce had wisely turned in early for the night but with the group’s last two braincells leaving them, they got rather… stupid.

 “Morning everyone,” you greeted.

 The hungover Avengers greeted you like a vampire to garlic.

 “I see we haven’t fully recovered from all the fun of last night,” you commented, making your coffee.

 “Yeah, about that… What… what exactly happened?” Bucky asked.

 “You don’t remember? No, that doesn’t surprise me. You would be horrified if you did that sober,” you giggled.

 Bucky went white. What exactly had he done? As if reading his mind, you decided to start filling in some of the blanks.

 “Let’s start with the voicemails, shall we?”

 “H-how many did I leave?”

 “It’s hard to say… between the voicemails, the text messages, and the videos, I lost count…”

 “V-videos?”

 “I’ll show you them after this,” you replied, playing the first message from earlier in the night.

 Bucky: Hi, Y/N. I just want to say that I think you’re really smart for going to bed early and you’re also really pretty and…

 Sam *in the background*: Dude just ask her out already!

 Bucky: I can’t just ask her over the phone

 Sam *in the background*: Ask her!

 Bucky: No!

 *Sound of thudding*

 Bucky remembered Sam tackling him, trying to get him to confess his feelings for you. He wanted to confess, really he did but he didn’t think it’d be appropriate when he completely plastered. Bucky looked over at you to see you giving him a sly grin.

 “What?”

 “Nothing. Let’s move onto my favourite video…”

 Bucky wasn’t sure he liked the way you said that. He could watch in horror as you played the video.

 It started off with a little bad camera work before it came into focus on Bucky who was standing up on the bar.

 “This one’s for you, Y/N,” he slurred, pointing to the camera.

 The song The Stripper came on and Bucky started taking off his shirt. The others all cheered and catcalled and Nat cackled from behind the camera. Bucky took his shirt off and twirled it above his head before flinging it off to some unknown corner. He next tried to undo his pants and managed to get them open but then fell off the bar.

 “You okay, Barnes?” Nat called.

 Bucky gave a thumb’s up before falling back down.

 The video ended there. Bucky felt absolutely mortified.

 “Wait, so when did I lose my arm?”

 “Hold on, I think I have the video where you were showing off…”

 Bucky placed his hand on yours to stop you scrolling. Suddenly, all the stupid things he did last night in an attempt to win you over came back to him. Nobody stopped him, instead, they only encouraged it.

 “I… I feel like I should explain…” he began but you placed a finger on his lips.

 “No need. Often when we’re drunk, our most honest selves are on display…”

 “Well, I am never drinking Asgardian ale and getting that drunk again,” Bucky sighed.

 You kissed his cheek, making him look at you in surprise.

 “I thought it was cute. A little misguided maybe but I guess you needed a little liquid courage to confess your true feelings,” you baited, hoping now that everything was out in the open he would tell you what was on his mind.

 “Y/N, I would really like to take you out sometime…” he softly smiled.

 “I’d like that too, Bucky,” you smiled back. “I’d kiss you but you smell like a dumpster fire…”

 “No, no, I get it. We’ll go when I’m not feeling like death warmed over…”

 “It’s a date,” you smiled, heading off to check on the damages left by the carnage that was last night.