#bucky fandom

You swear you didn't put yourself in this situation on purpose. You had denied going to any parties tonight, wanting to just rot in bed with some nonsense movie and chinese takeout.

But your best friend cum roommate being the absolute menace that she is, dragged you out of your bed, chucked one of her dresses in your hand and pushed you into the bathroom to get ready.

Which is how you find yourself in the bar, surrounded by tens of her girlfriends, celebrating whoever’s bachelorette it is by downing your fifth shot of tequila.

“Another” you slam the small glass on the table with a lopsided smile, swaying slightly. The bartender eyes you, then your best friend, totally rethinking his life decisions.

Nat grabs hold of you as you sway dangerously and toddle towards the dance floor.

“That's enough. Were going home” she puts one of your arms across her shoulders to balance you. All while you try your best to drag her to dance.

“Noooo” you whine “I wanna dance”

“You're in no position to dance, girl” natasha scolds just as the music booms. And before she can react someone grabs your wrist to pull you toward the crowd.

Your eyes light up in drunken joy. “YES. MOVEMENT. I will out-dance my emotions.”

Nat scowls, fingers massaging at her temples as she watches you wobble like a drunk raccoon.

You last approximately thirty seconds before:

– tripping over your own foot

– laughing hysterically

– attempting to twirl

– and nearly colliding with a very confused stranger

Natasha immediately intercepts you like a linebacker. “Okay. Nope. That's it. We're done for today”

She starts to guide you out of the bar while you complaint about your heels and demand more vodka.

You both make it halfway down the block before you stop dead.

“Wait.”

Nat sighs in frustration. “No.”

“I need—”

You don’t finish the sentence as bile rises to your throat, and you lean over the sidewalk throwing up with the kind of dramatic betrayal usually reserved for soap operas.

Nat gathers your hair behind you and holds it in a makeshift ponytail as you retch.

“This was a bad idea” she mutters under her breath, wiping your mouth with her handkerchief as you stand back up and hug her with all the enthusiasm of a tiny panda.

She sighs, dragging you towards the car.

The car ride home is somehow worse. Mostly because you decide to ramble your way out of drunken haze.

You slump against the window, mumbling like you're confessing to the glass.

“I love when he says my name,” you murmur, eyes half shut. “Especially when he says it… like it matters. That’s illegal. He should be illegal in congress.”

Your friend drives with one hand and regrets with the other. “Stop blabbering and go to sleep. Hangover's gonna kill you tomorrow.”

“But…… daddy, I love him” you wail, leaning over the gear shift, wiping your nose on her dress and she grimaces, laying you back on your seat.

“I’m never letting you drink again”

—

You reach the apartment in pieces.

One heel is already missing by the time the door clicks shut and you stumble inside like a defeated knight, blinking at the familiar walls like they’ve personally offended you, brfore making a determined beeline—not for the bed, not for the couch—

For the desk.

Natasha drops the keys and groans. “No. Absolutely not. You are going to sleep.”

“I am going to… process,” you say solemnly, colliding with the chair and half-falling into it. “With words.”

Natasha watches as you fumble your bag onto the floor, squint at the laptop like it might escape, and open it with all the gravity of someone launching a missile.

“Go to bed,” your best friend insists, tugging at your sleeve. “You are drunk. You threw up. Your mascara is… abstract.”

“I am still literate,” you argue, expression serious, cracking your knuckles with purpose. “And deeply burdened.”

You open the document and type one line.

Delete it.

Type it again.

Nat leans over your shoulder. “What are you even writing?”

“A document of emotional significance.”

“That’s called a diary. And it lives offline.” she facepalms.

You sway in the chair, pointing at the screen. “This is… more official.”

“No, this is more dangerous.”

You straighten suddenly. “I have been quiet for too long.”

“You have been loud for three hours.”

You stare at each other.

Your best friend sighs, rubbing her face. “Fine. I’m going to shower. When I come back, you will be right here.”

She lifts a finger. “Do not move from this chair.”

You salute so hard you almost tip over.

“Aye aye.”

Nat pauses in the doorway. “Do not write anything.”

You salute again. “I will not… write anything inappropriately.”

The bathroom door shuts with nat mumbling something like, “She’s gonna get herself fired”

Subtle foreshadowing.

The apartment goes quiet except for the hum of the laptop.

You squint at the blank page.

“Dear Sir,” you whisper, testing it out loud.

Then nod, satisfied.

“That is… respectful.”

Your fingers begin to move.

Slow at first.

Then faster.

Posture miraculously perfect despite the sway in your shoulders.

You mutter as you type. “Subject line is important. One must always… set expectations.”

You type one, squinting suspiciously before changing it.

Subject: Concerning a Conflict of Interest (Personal)

You beam.

“Yes. That is… accurate.”

You lean closer to the screen, hair falling into your face.

“It is with considerable reluctance….” you murmur, squinting, “…and an alarming lack of judgment that I must inform you of a developing issue within my professional conduct.

Your head dips, but the words keep coming.

By the time the shower turns off, the document is three paragraphs long, formatted perfectly, margins aligned, tone immaculate.

You stretch, proud.

“Good,” You say softly. “That was very… contained.”

Subject: Concerning a Conflict of Interest (Personal)

Dear Sir,

It is with considerable reluctance and an alarming lack of judgment that I must inform you of a developing issue within my professional conduct.

Said issue involves an excessive awareness of your presence in shared spaces, including but not limited to conference rooms, elevators, and the general vicinity of your desk.

Upon further reflection, I regret to report that the aforementioned “distraction” has escalated into what medical professionals might classify as longing.

This manifests in involuntary behaviors such as: – memorizing the cadence of your footsteps – experiencing unreasonable satisfaction when you request coffee – developing a heroic desire to defend you from mild inconveniences

Your finger slips.

Not save.

Not draft.

Post.

You blink at the screen,smiling proudly.

Then promptly rest your forehead on the desk.

By the time natasha appears in the doorway again, you have fallen asleep on the desk, drooling slightly. The laptop screen is still glowing.

five emails sent to congressman barnes

She groans, wondering what you might have written in there, before wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and leaving the room.

And you? well, you sleep peacefully, unaware of the upcoming storm that you have deliberately thrown yourself into.

——

The office is still half-asleep when he arrives.

Lights off in most corridors.

Security nodding quietly.

The city outside his windows just beginning to breathe.

This is his hour — before meetings, before numbers, before decisions that weigh on other people’s lives.

He sets his coat on the back of his chair, loosens his cufflinks, and sinks into his chair.

For a moment, he just stares at the desk.

Files stacked in perfect alignment.

His schedule printed and clipped the way you know he likes it.

A pen placed parallel to the folder, because you once noticed he straightened it unconsciously.

He exhales.

You do this every night. Stay later than you need to. Prepares tomorrow before you leave today.

He blinks, loosening his tie, eyes drifting automatically to the small details you leave behind:

A faint floral scent in the air.

A sticky note reminding him to eat lunch.

Your handwriting in the margins of a report—small, precise, careful.

You.

He exhales slowly.

He notices everything about you. He wishes he didn’t.

The way you bite the inside of your cheek when concentrating. How chirp “good morning” like you didn't lose sleep last night on today's meetings.

It is inconvenient, this feeling.

Unwise.

Ill-timed.

You're too young for him. Too bright.

Too unguarded in the way only someone who still believes in effort and fairness can be.

And he is… not.

He has meetings that decide futures. Scars from past battles. A life made of careful choices and restrained wants.

You're brilliant. Efficient. Too young to be tangled in something as complicated as him. And technically, professionally, untouchable.

He presses his thumb against the edge of the desk.

But he still looks at you, he can't help but watch you.

The way you tilts your head when thinking.

How you say his name in that sweet bird like voice like the name belongs to you.

How you stay late without being asked.

How you never look at him when you laughs — as if afraid you might give something away.

And God help him, he is in love with you.

Quietly.

Carefully.

From a distance he pretends is enough.

He has rules for himself:

Do not stare.

Do not linger.

Do not want.

Especially not someone so young. so innocent.

Especially not someone who trusts him with her time, her career, her future.

“She doesn't think of you like that, bucky. For fuck's sake, get a grip,” he murmurs to the empty office.

If only he knew.

He shakes his head, ridding himself of his regular morning brooding session and turns on his laptop.

The screen glows to life.

Inbox loads.

He expects to see board messages, legal reminders, market reports.

What he does not expect—

Company-wide post:

“Concerning a conflict of interest (personal)”

That… is not a budget memo.

He frowns, clicking it open.

And the universe collapses directly into his chest.

Dear Sir,

It is with considerable reluctance and an alarming lack of judgment that I must inform you of a developing issue within my professional conduct…….

Your words.

Your tone.

Your formatting.

His heartbeat stumbles as reads and rereads.

Subject: Clarification Regarding the Severity of the Situation

Dear Sir,

It has come to my attention that my previous messages may have understated the gravity of my condition.

I do not simply admire you. I suffer from an ongoing preoccupation with the way your sleeves roll up when you are focused, and how your expression softens when you believe no one is watching.

This has resulted in a persistent desire to be nearer to you than professionally necessary, and an irrational disappointment when meetings conclude.

The said meetings are spent by me wondering how you might react finding me on my knees under your desk, mouth working meticulously on your cock while you try to lead the meeting.

Hence, should you notice increased efficiency in my work, please be advised it is fueled entirely by such improper fantasies, inappropriate affection and an alarming amount of emotional attachment.

With troubling sincerity, Your assistant (emotionally unsound)

His throat tightens. Another message appears.

Subject: Formal Notice of Want (Unprofessional Edition)

Dear Sir,

It is no longer possible to categorize my feelings as a minor inconvenience. They have evolved into a persistent craving for your attention, your approval, and, regrettably, the warmth of your proximity.

I find myself imagining being seated on your lap while your metal fingers explore me in the ways I am unable to explain. Coaxing the whines and moans out of me as my warm, wet walls envelope the said metal fingers.

It is essential for you to know that the desire I have to be on my knees before you and have your hands rest in my hair while I wrap my lips around your cock is irrepressible.

It is pre-eminent for me to hear you moaning my name as you hold me against the glass window of your office, cock pounding into me while you usher me to stay quiet. And having you shove your fingers in my mouth when i’m unable to do so.

Should you inquire, my other fantasies include but are not limited to, riding you until you pass out, making out with you in your office, being bent over your desk while you fuck me from behind.

Then another. His eyes are wide enough to pop out of the sockets as he takes in each filthy, agonizing detail you've written in your letters.

Subject: Final Report on My Emotional Collapse

Dear Sir,

I hereby confess that my professionalism is now held together by routine alone. Beneath it exists an unrestrained desire to be chosen by you in ways that extend far beyond quarterly objectives.

I wish to be the first person you see when you arrive and the last you speak to before leaving. I wish to be indispensable not only in function but in feeling.

It is vital for me to be fucked by you so as to be relieved of having to do it myself while imagining your cock instead of my hands.

I find it highly uncomfortable to not he able to kiss you when I want to and to sit on your lap like it's my assigned position.

If this sentiment is inappropriate, I accept full responsibility. If it is mutual, I will require several minutes to process the miracle.

I remain, disastrously yours in spirit, The assistant who has crossed several emotional boundaries

By the time he's done reading the last of the letters, his heart is thudding wildly in his chest.

His throat tightens at the raw vulnerability in each letter.

Each one worse than the last.

Each one more honest. More filthy.

Each one written like a confession wrapped in professionalism.

He leans back slowly in his chair, hand over his mouth.

You wrote this, he thinks. Drunk, probably. Brave, definitely. Not knowing what it would cost you.

And somehow the fact that hits him the hardest is that you wrote all this… about him.

Of all people.

He scrolls again, rereading it. Not because he needs to. Because he wants to.

Because every line sounds like something he has been forcing himself not to feel.

He thinks of your age. Of his position. Of the way the world would look at this.

Then he thinks of the way you look at him.

And for the first time in months, the rules feel… negotiable.

He eyes close themselves, a tender, mischievous smile blooming across his face as an idea plants itself in his head.

—

You wake up with no memory of last night and cursing at the alarm clock.

“Ughh” you groan, rolling over in your bed to hide from the bright lights peeping in from the curtains, except you're not on your bed.

The desk chair creaks as you try to roll over and fall to the floor with a loud thunk.

“I'm guessing you're awake” comes Nat's sarcastic voice from the kitchen.

“Shut up. It's your fault” you wince, getting up.

“But it wouldn't be my fault if you get fired for being late at work.” She shouts back and you glance at the clock.

“FUCK”

You rush to the bathroom, yelping when you stub your little toe against the bed in hurry.

By the time you're ready and on the way to capitol hill, you're already late by an hour.

You dash across the parking lot and through the reception, towards your desk. Hoping you didn't miss any early morning meetings or events that you had to remind bucky about.

God forbid he misses something important because of your foolishness and you'd lose this one thing you love doing.

Only if you remembered the stuff you pulled off last night.

Your anxiety almost makes you trip over a crate of water bottles when Jane, from reception catches your arm.

“Careful there, honey” she smoothes your coat, smiling amiably before adding “congressman barnes was asking for you in his cabin”

“For me?” You confirm. It isn't too rare of bucky to ask for you, you're his assistant. Of course he'll call you if he needs something.

But you can't get the feeling out of you that there's definitely something wrong. You brush it off, thinking its because you're late that you're feeling this way.

Jane intercepts your train of thoughts “Don't worry, it's not because you're late. He needs you to review some files”

“Oh thank god.” You sigh a breath of relief and hastily walk over toward bucky's cabin after thanking Jane.

You don't knock before entering. Knowing he can hear you approach anyway. And after working for years as an assistant for him, you've crossed the bridge of professionality to being friends.

“You asked for me, sir?” you chime as you walk in, smiling slightly as you watch him write something in his notepad.

“If I didn't know any better, I'd think you like me correcting you every time you call me sir” he looks up, eyebrows slightly raised, voice laced with his teasing lilt.

You giggle, making your way across the room and sinking in the chair in front of him. “Jane said you wanted me to review some files?” You question.

“Yeah. Here. Have a look at this.” He slides a leatherback folder across the table toward you, and leans back in his chair, smirking.

His eyes are bright like you've never seen before, almost mischievous, like he's….. up to something.

You open the folder and stop dead at the very first line that gets your attention…

I find myself imagining being seated on your lap while your metal fingers explore me in the ways I am unable to explain.

Your eyes trail upwards, reading the whole thing.

What the fuck! Is this your formatting? Oh…fuck yeah it is.

You turn the page and find another letter, then another, then another.

Each one filthy.

Each one highly Unprofessional.

Each one vulnerable and raw in a way that you'd never be if you weren't drunk.

Oh My God

The memories slam back to you like a freight train. Nat's party, the shots, the desk……the emails, all of it.

You look up, embarrassed to your very bones and wishing the earth would swallow you whole, this instant.

You're so fired

“So…” Bucky begins and you close your eyes, knowing what he'd say. Something among the lines of ‘this was very Unprofessional’ or ‘you're fired’ but the words that come out of his mouth are something you'd never even thought of in your wildest dreams.

“About that….” he leans towards the table, tapping a spicy nasty line in particular “….how would you like to proceed”

Your mouth falls open but no sound comes out.

Out of all the ways you expected this to go, this was not it.

Your cheeks burn red with embarrassment and anticipation as bucky gets up and stalks closer towards you.

You turn in your chair as he reaches you, stooping down so he's eye level with you. His eyes are tender now. Almost adoring.

“You aren’t supposed to love me like this,” he murmurs.

Then adds just as quietly, “…but I don’t think I can pretend I didn’t see it.”

You don't know what you see in his eyes that makes you want to tell the truth “I do” you nod “I really do”

His metal palm cups your face as you whisper “I love you bucky”

He leans in, close enough that your nose nudges his, close enough that you can feel his warm breath fan your face.

His eyes flick toward your lips, then back at your eyes, giving you all the time to pull away if you want.

You don't.

You tip your face up, closing the gap and meeting his lips in a slow, tremulous kiss.

His lip quivers slightly when your tongue sneaks out to lick at it. His mouth opens itself, letting you in, deepening the kiss.

Your tongues slide against each other, exploring, fighting for dominance.

His hand is tangled in your hair, yours holding on to his shirt for dear life.

Bucky's palms slowly make their way across your back, settling themselves around your thighs and hoisting you up from the chair.

You break the kiss with a yelp as bucky places you on his desk “you wanted to be fucked on my desk, didn't you?” He pecks your lips, smiling.

You nod, shy beyond measure.

“I need your words, baby” his fingers grab hold of your chin, tipping it up so your eyes would meet his.

“I want you to fuck me, bucky” you murmur, hiding your face in his chest as he chuckles, breathy and amused.

“Not yet, sweetheart” he mutters, dropping to his knees.

“Buck, what're you—” you start but he shushes you.

“I need to taste you, baby. Can I?….please” his eyes are dark with lust, restraint running thin, yet he asks so nicely, so patiently, how can you say no to him.

“Have at me, bucky” you reply

His hands slowly skim across your thighs, sliding your skirt up until its bunched at your waist.

He groans at the sight in front of him, before leaning in and pressing his nose to the thin material of your panties.

You gasp at the contact. “Fuck, sweetheart. You smell so sweet” he mumbles against you, kissing your inner thigh before sinking his teeth into the flesh then soothing it with his tongue.

“Take them off” you tell him, voice breathy. As he hooks his fingers into the waistband and pulls the panties down slowly, you push them away when they reach your ankles.

Gasping as bucky's mouth finds your wet core. “Aww baby, you get this wet from reading your filthy letters” he teases.

You frown “No. It's—um—it's because of you” you confess shyly.

He smiles, proud and smug, pressing a chaste kiss to your core. Before his tongue slips out, licking a thick stripe through your warm, wet heat.

You shudder at the feeling.

“Fuck, You taste even better.” He pulls away, looking up at you before diving right back in. Slow teasing licks that make you gasp and chaste kisses that leave you craving for more.

Your hips move on their own. Inching closer to him, chasing more of his tongue. His mouth. “Bucky, please” you whine in frustration as he laps at your pussy, avoiding your clit yet again.

“Begging already? I haven't even touched you properly yet” his voice is low and teasing.

Your eyes narrow at him, feigning annoyanace “Shut —Ahh” your insult is cut off as a moan tears through you when his mouth closes on your clit, suckling slightly.

Your thighs shake where they're held apart by him around his head.

“Bucky—Ahh—just like that” he doubles down at your praise. Pushing two fingers inside of you while he nurses at your clit.

His fingers curl slightly, brushing a spot that makes you see stars. You whimper, already trembling in his arms as bucky's hands find their way to your ass, pulling you closer to his face.

The sound you make is animalistic as bucky picks up the pace. Fingers thrusting faster, mouth suckling harsher.

“Bucky—I'm gonna—”

“Yes, come on my tongue, sweetheart. Let me feel it” he curls his fingers, pressing harder against the spot that makes your hips jerk.

Your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave. Making every bit of your body shiver as your thighs tighten around his head and you come with a choked gasp.

You're still gasping when he comes up to kiss you. You taste yourself on his tongue and moan into his mouth.

You grab the collar of his shirt, tugging him closer. His hands land on your waist, swiftly sneaking under your shirt to feel the warmth of your skin.

Your fingers make quick work of the buttons of his shirt before letting it fall to the floor while you stare at bucky's bare chest in awe.

You trace your fingers over every ridge of muscle, every scar tissue, every bulging vein, with reverence.

He lets you explore. “Like what you see?”

“I do” you smirk before pressing your lips to the centre of his chest.

You feel a shiver run through his body as he tries to maintain his composure, his hard length pressing against your exposed core through his pants.

Your lips move upwards, tracing the path of your fingers before pressing a kiss to his jawline and closing around his Adam's apple.

He groans and you feel it in your veins like a zap of electricity. Your mouth trails farther, kissing and nipping at his collarbone. His hips rut forward, helplessly, grinding against you.

“I need you inside me bucky” you murmur against his neck, impatient.

“I thought you'd never ask” Bucky groans, pulling away to rid himself of his pants.

Your mouth goes dry when you see him. All of him. His cock is thick and flushed pink. Slightly curved towards his stomach, veins clinging across his shaft.

You reach for him. Stroking slowly. His eyes close, “Don't—don't do that, or this will be over before it starts” he warns when your hold tightens around him.

“Then don't wait.” You inch closer, lining him up.

“You're sure?” He confirms. You nod.

He shakes his head “Words, baby”

“I'm sure bucky. I think I'd die if you don't fuck me now” he chuckles that turns into a choked breath halfway as he eases himself in slowly.

His eyes flutter shut, pulse thundering against your hand where its pressed to his chest. “Fuck” he swears “fuck, baby. You're—you're so tight. I won't last”

“Who said you have to” your reply is earnest “I just want to feel you buck”

“You feel so good, sweet girl” he pushes in slowly “Fuck, never felt anything like you”

You feel the sting of his cock stretch you open and you hide your face in the crook of his neck as he pushes all the way in and stills.

His breath is heaving “I won't move until you say so” his fingers tremble when they get hold of your hand, intertwining with your fingers.

The sting slowly fades into a warm thrumming beneath your bones. You roll your hips experimentally and sparks of pleasure shoot down your spine.

“Move, bucky. Please” you grind harder against him, making him groan before he pulls out almost all the way and sheathes himself back in.

He doesn't find a pace, too lost in pleasure, in you. His thrusts remain ragged and erratic as he tries to hold himself for longer.

His metal palm wanders down to rub tight circles on your clit and you cry out at the sensation.

Your orgasm hits you like lighting. Sudden and overpowering as your vision whites out and you almost scream “James”

The sound that comes out of him is almost a whine when he hears his first name from your mouth. His thrusts grow shallow, breath heaving, heart thundering as he spills inside groaning your name.

By the time you both slump into his chair, your ears are still ringing.

You're nestled on his lap, as he palms your ass in quiet, reverent caresses. He presses warm and chaste kisses to your forehead. Your cheek. Your nose.

“You still with me, sweet girl?” He asks, voice laced with concern and love. You nod against his chest. Tired and boneless.

“You did so good for me” he praises and heat rises to your cheeks yet again. You top your head up, enveloping him a kiss that's sloppy and playful, yet loving all the same.

“I guess getting drunk is not so bad after all” you pull away, smirking slyly.

“Of course not if it ends like this” he agrees slapping your ass playfully. You squeak before breaking into giggles.

“But I have a complaint” bucky states, making you meet his eyes in a serious expression.

“What complaint?” You question

“Next time you want to confess your naughty fantasies, you don't need to write letters.” He winks “you can just tell me” then swiftly adds “we'll recreate it however you want”

You hide your face in his neck with a loud whine, although the way your eyes shine and your lips twitch in a smile, betrays you.

And you think, “Sometimes the dumbest detours are the ones that accidentally lead you straight to the best place.”

A/N : When I tell you I was SUFFERING while writing the smut, it's an understatement. I rewrote it four times and I still think I've done a shit job. I find all the dialogues cringy and the description just feels bleh to me.

I'm so fucking nervous and anxious. If this fic flops, I'm never writing smut again, thank you 😭

Dividers : @dividers-are-us

Tag list : @redstarleftarm, @sweetserendipity65, @sambuckystony, @nymphhbabiee, @darlingdenise, @quantumbarnes, @i-gotta-go-so-much-bigger, @bstan01, @phoenix-in-writing, @singulartoast, @danerb67

The supermarket was quiet. Just a few people were strolling calmly through the aisles, looking at the well-stocked shelves as they decided what else, besides the items already on their lists, they would end up taking home that day.

Bucky was one of those people.

The cart was already full with everything you had written down on the shopping list, but he kept wandering through the aisles more out of distraction than necessity. It was a way to keep Grant entertained while you were in the toy section looking for a birthday present for your son.

He pushed the cart slowly, staying close behind the little boy as he walked around staring at everything within sight. Grant grabbed anything within his reach just to inspect it curiously before putting it back—or at least trying to.

“Put that back where it belongs, buddy.” Bucky said calmly.

And every single time Grant obeyed, a small smile appeared on Bucky’s lips almost immediately.

The moment he noticed the boy was about to turn toward the toy aisle, Bucky reacted quickly.

“Grant, let’s go this way.” Bucky said as he steered the cart into another aisle.

The child turned around with a small pout painted across his lips, clearly unhappy about it, though he still ended up following his father anyway.

“I wanna see the toys...” he mumbled, dragging out the words a little before adding more quietly, “And I miss Mom...”

Bucky’s expression softened instantly.

He missed you too. The need to take care of you had only grown stronger since your new pregnancy.

“When she comes back, the three of us can go look at the toys together, okay?”

Grant gave a tiny nod and quickened his pace with small hurried steps to catch up to him. He reached out to grab onto the sleeve of his father’s jacket.

Bucky didn’t hesitate to let go of the cart with one hand so he could intertwine his fingers with his son’s as they entered the frozen food aisle.

They walked together for a few seconds before Grant suddenly let go and ran toward one of the glass freezer doors. He pressed both hands against the glass while staring with completely lit-up eyes at a box of dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.

“Dad! Dad!” Grant exclaimed excitedly, bouncing on his feet. “My nuggets! We have to get them!”

Bucky pulled the folded shopping list from his jacket pocket and looked over it quickly.

You hadn’t written down nuggets.

“Mom didn’t put nuggets on the list.” he replied to his son.

The pout returned to Grant’s face, this time much deeper. His blue eyes began to fill with that watery shine of crocodile tears that rarely worked on you, but your husband was weak.

Bucky let out a barely audible sigh as he quickly stuffed the list back into his pocket before giving his son a conspiratorial smile.

“Maybe your mom forgot to write them down. Go ahead, grab one.”

“Yaaay!” Grant squealed immediately, unable to contain his excitement.

His small hands hurried toward the handle of the glass door, though he only managed to move it a few inches before Bucky stepped in to help him.

The second the door opened completely, Grant grabbed one of the nugget boxes and hugged it tightly against his chest as if he had just discovered treasure. Barely a second later, he let out a high-pitched giggle when the cold seeped through the fabric of his hoodie.

“It’s so cold!” he exclaimed between laughs while holding the box out to his father.

Bucky chuckled softly under his breath before taking the nuggets and placing them into the cart.

“That’s what happens when they live in the freezer."

Grant laughed again and continued walking beside him, though the peace only lasted a few seconds.

“Dad! We should get ice cream!”

This time, Bucky didn’t even need to pull out the list. He already knew ice cream wasn’t on it, especially since there was still half a tub left at home thanks to your constant pregnancy cravings.

“There’s still ice cream at home, buddy.”

The pout instantly returned to Grant’s face with impressive speed.

“But I want chocolate ice cream...”

Bucky held firm for exactly five seconds.

Five.

Because Grant crossed his arms and, with all the dramatics a small child could possibly gather, dropped himself onto the cold supermarket floor.

“I miss my mom...” he said in a shaky, high-pitched voice while the first tears started rolling down his cheeks.

Bucky looked up just in time to notice a woman passing through the aisle watching him with a slight frown, as if silently judging what kind of terrible father he was.

He let out a resigned sigh.

Setting the cart aside, he walked over to Grant and easily lifted him up by the underarms before settling him against his hip.

“Okay, okay... we’ll get a small tub of ice cream for everyone to share.”

The crying stopped so fast it was almost offensive.

Grant immediately burst into laughter again, completely recovered, while Bucky grabbed a small tub of chocolate ice cream and placed it into the cart, shaking his head faintly even as a small smile tugged at his lips.

After that, things got a little out of control.

Aisle after aisle, Grant took full advantage of his father’s far-too-soft heart to convince him to add more things to the cart. First, it was a strawberry yogurt “because it looked yummy.” Then a small box of crayons he apparently “urgently needed.” After that came grape juice.

And finally, a pine tree-shaped car freshener that Grant found so funny he spent nearly an entire minute laughing at it by himself.

By the time Bucky finally lifted his gaze and spotted you in the distance, he let out a sigh of absolute relief.

Because honestly, if Grant continued having unlimited access to his guilt and emotional weakness, they were probably going to leave with half the supermarket.

The moment Grant saw you at the end of the aisle, his eyes lit up even more.

“Mommy!” he shouted excitedly while already waving his arms from where he sat in his father’s hold.

Bucky barely had time to set him down before the boy took off running toward you as fast as his tiny legs could carry him, wrapping himself around your legs the second he reached you.

“Oh, God! Careful, sweetheart.” you said, startled but smiling.

One of your hands instinctively went to your swollen belly while the other rested on Grant’s head, gently stroking his hair.

You only managed to take a few steps before Bucky approached with the shopping cart.

“Look at everything we got!” Grant announced proudly, as if he had been the one doing all the hard work.

Bucky tried to look completely normal.

He failed.

Because the cart no longer resembled the original shopping list in the slightest.

The bags of vegetables and the things you had actually needed were buried beneath dinosaur nuggets, yogurts, juice boxes, chocolate ice cream, crayons, and the pine-scented car freshener still hanging ridiculously from the side of the cart.

“James...” you murmured while looking at him.

Bucky felt that look the same way a soldier felt the sight of a rifle aimed at the back of his neck.

“Before you say anything...” he started, raising one hand slightly, “I just want to clarify that technically all of this was emotional manipulation.”

Your hand left your son’s hair to rest on your hip while the other continued rubbing your belly.

“This kid is dangerous.” Bucky defended himself quickly.

“Dad let me get nuggets!” Grant interrupted with a huge grin.

“Grant also cried on the floor." Bucky added immediately, pointing at him in an attempt to shift the blame. “There was an audience. People were judging me.”

You raised an eyebrow while letting go of your stomach to pick up the air freshener between two fingers.

“And this?”

Grant burst into laughter as he finally let go of your leg.

“It’s a tree! And it smells good!”

Bucky looked away, completely incapable of defending himself this time.

“I have no explanation for that one.”

Grant wrapped himself around your leg again while continuing to ramble nonstop.

“And we also got chocolate ice cream because I missed you and Dad said we could all share it and there’s juice and crayons and-”

Bucky closed his eyes for a brief second.

“He psychologically manipulated me for forty straight minutes. I wasn’t prepared for this.”

And even though he tried to sound exhausted, the small tired smile on his face completely ruined any real attempt at complaining.

Because seeing you there, with Grant clinging to your leg, a baby on the way, and a shopping cart full of unnecessary things, still felt dangerously close to a perfect life.

One he had never believed he deserved, but somehow had now.

“What am I going to do with you, Barnes?” You murmured in amusement while looking over the contents of the cart. “You become weak when it comes to Grant. I don’t even want to imagine how you’ll be once this little girl is born.”

Bucky’s smile widened instantly, turning into something shamelessly flirtatious.

He slowly stepped closer and cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing gently against your cheeks. The cold vibranium of his metal hand made you shiver and laugh softly.

“Maybe you should just love me anyway...” He murmured close to your lips before pressing a soft kiss against them. “...Even with my weak heart.”

And then another.

And another one after that, barely brushing against your lips with that absentminded tenderness that always managed to undo you far faster than you were willing to admit.

For a moment, you completely forgot that you were still standing in the middle of a supermarket.

Until a small indignant voice interrupted the moment.

“You’re squishing me!”

You and Bucky burst into laughter as you quickly pulled apart.

Grant was still wrapped around your leg, accidentally trapped between the two of you. The little boy finally let go only to cross his arms over his chest, a small offended pout appearing on his face.

“You’ll survive, champ.” Bucky said, still laughing.

Grant didn’t seem convinced.

Before he could start protesting again, Bucky spoke first, suspiciously quick to regain control of the situation.

“Didn’t you want to go look at the toys, Grant?”

That was enough.

All indignation disappeared instantly.

“Yes!”

Grant immediately took off running toward the toy aisle without wasting a second, forcing both of you to follow before he decided to take home half the store.

You ended up holding onto Bucky’s arm as you walked behind your son, watching him excitedly dart through the aisles.

Bucky lowered his voice slightly so Grant wouldn’t overhear him.

“Did you get the presents?”

You nodded with a proud smile.

“They’re hidden in the trunk.”

Bucky let out a small sigh of relief.

“Perfect. Because if that kid saw the toys, he’d probably try to convince us to buy them right now.”

“Probably?”

Bucky barely turned his head to look at you with amusement.

“Okay. Definitely.” He admitted.

A laugh escaped your lips as the two of you kept walking together, watching Grant stop in front of a massive shelf filled with action figures.

The boy immediately turned toward you both, his eyes shining with excitement.

“It’s may be hard clicking with the others,” Valentina told you. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“I’m so excited. I’ve always admired the Avengers. What Tony Stark did to save the world was sad but…”

“Necessary.” Valentina finished the phrase.

So that’s when you, Y/N Y/L/N, made the official appearance in the new Avengers’ Tower.

“Hey,” a blond girl told you, moving toward you. “Must be Y/N.” She stretched her arm. “Yelena. Yelena Belova.”

“Nat’s sister… nice to meet you.”

Yelena proceeded to present the other members of the team. Once she finished, after Bob already declared himself as your best friend gaining a fake offence from Yelena, the elevator opened.

Bucky Barnes appeared.

Tactical gear still on, gun on his belt and a shiny arm. A tired look on his face and bags under his blue eyes.

“Sam’s and ass he took credit for it…” he said without anger, just mocking Sam. “Left him at his house after hearing him talking… who are you?” He asked you, stopping his monologue about Sam.

“Hi,” you immediately stretched your arm. “I’m Y/N… from Shield…” you said, retiring your hand once you understood he wasn’t going to shake it.

“Don’t need another member.”

“It’s not our choice Barnes,” John intervened. “And she seems amazing by the way.”

You nodded toward the tall man, silently thanking him.

Bucky grunted and without stepping outside of the elevator, he pushed the button to his floor and the door closed.

“Is he always like that?” You asked.

“Sometimes…” Ava replied.

“But he’s okay… I mean he’s with us…” Bob shyly said. “You’ll be under our wing, don’t worry.”

As the weeks passed, Bucky didn’t seem to move from his idea.

It was now almost a month since your arrival. The team quickly discovered why Valentina chose to add you to them. During a particularly thought mission, they found out your ability.

You moved like a shadow, anticipating every enemy’s moves. Swinging on the field, covering Yelena and then starting a fight just as Ava could disappear without being noticed.

As Yelena was standing in front of an agent, another one was getting ready to take her from behind. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed it and stretched your arm. A white light came out of your palm and it was like the world around you all stopped suddenly. A cone of ice erupted from the dry ground killing the agent behind Yelena, stabbing him. As the other agent lost track for a second, Yelena was able to shoot him in his chest. He felt down right in front of her. Faking unimpressive, Yelena simply nodded at you.

There was no time for explanation.

“God you’re amazing,” John told you, hitting an agent with his elbow. He was truly impressed by your ability, just as Ava.

“Thanks John… you’re-“

“Can we stop talking?” Bucky growled. His voice, deep and cold, interrupted you. It was like he didn’t see the massive ice cone coming out of the ground, or if he did see it, he was totally unbiased by the situation.

You look down for a second.

“Sorry man.” John said, before knocking out for the good the agent.

In and out, no witnesses left and mission accomplished.

On the jet, everyone asked you to explain.

Everyone but Bucky.

At the tower you all entered in the common room where Bob, still recovering from his transformation in Sentry, was waiting.

“Bob,” Yelena yelled happily. “You should have seen her.” She jumped on the couch, messing his hair. “She’s magic…I mean really magic…” Yelena had stars in her eyes, which was totally out of her character. “She’s magic practically save us.”

“She didn’t save us,” Bucky said. “We save ourselves.”

“Shut up, Barnes.” Ava told him. “If she hadn’t made that ice cone appear Yelena wouldn’t have killed that agent and we would have wasted time unnecessarily… she practically save us.” She hugged your side.

“Ice cone?” Bob asked astonished. “You made an ice cone from… AN ICE CONE?” Bob’s voice peaked up.

You explained to them how you got your powers.

“Yes, I have some powers,” you said, looking down.

Bucky, sat on a stool having a coffee, rising his head slightly. He was listening.

“I… was born like that and I was always been told my powers are white because it’s linked with who I am,” you began kneading your fingers. “I can control ice… as you all saw,”

“Hell yeah we saw it,” John happily announced.

“Yeah… and I can heal from injury or even worse if that’s the case… without being hurt myself.”

You noticed Bucky’s eyebrow rose a little.

“What else can you do?” Bob asked you interested.

“I can bring back someone’s life… never done it but I can…”

Everyone around you cheered and laughed at the revelation.

Bucky remained silent for a moment, drinking his black coffee. “No one is born like that.”

And with that, he finished his coffee and left the room.

A wave of sadness rose into your body. Your eyes lowered on the floor.

You didn’t know why Bucky treated you like that, since you were always so kind with him like you did with everyone else.

Like for example, a couple of days before when you made a fresh batch of coffee.

You were already awake as you suffered from insomnia. You took all the five cups out of the cabinet, since you already drank you coffee.

Yelena had a yellow one with the bees.

Ava chose a blue one with a unicorn.

Bob had a vintage one from a flee market.

John chose to keep his white one from his time in the military.

Bucky of course had a black one, no illustrations and nothing written on it. Black and simple, kinda like him.

Coffee and milk for Yelena and Ava, way more milk and cream for Bob and a black coffee with three sugars for John like you. At the end, a black and steaming cup for Bucky. No sugar and no milk.

Everyone arrived and picked up their cup. Bob even licked his lips as the warm milky foam remained on his mouth. “Better than the cafe around the corner.”

You smiled warmly.

Yelena, Ava and John did thank you even before picking their cups.

As Bucky entered the kitchen, the voices got lower. Black shirt and shorts, sneakers already on. “Morning,” he said to all.

You hoped it was to you too. “Morning Bucky. Made you the coffee…” you said pointing at his cup.

“Going for a run. Walker would you like to join?” He asked completely ignoring you, opening the fridge.

“Not today.” He said taking Bucky’s cup. “Perfect.” He smiled, after taking a sip.

As Bucky got out of the kitchen, John made a weird face. “How is he even like this thing?”

“Why did you drink it?” You asked him.

“Wasn’t let him ruin the day… but now I really need sugar.”

“Here,” you handed him his cup. “Made you already. It’s gonna be a little cold.”

“No problem.” He said, kissing your head.

As the days passed, you saw at John as a big brother and that care made you smile.

“Barnes is… tough.” Ava began. “He needs time.”

“Seems like he hates me,” you stood, emptying your cup. “I’m gonna go to the gym. Call me if you need.”

In the gym, thankfully alone, you punched the bag attached to the ceiling. Every fist controlled and powerful. You took some second in between session to regain your breath.

You moved onto the treadmill, setting the maximum pace.

Running always made you feel better.

You were so caught up with your pace, that you didn’t notice someone on the threshold of the entrance.

Bucky stood there, sweaty after his run. He always used the gym to decompress after his exercise. He looked at you, still holding his breath as you could hear it above the music you had in your ears. He looked again and left, forcing himself to break his routine.

The routine was everything to Bucky and even a simple difference made him feel bad. After being taken out of HYDRA, rescued and loved in a way by the Avengers and now the Thunderbolts, he thought about having his life settled.

Your arrival made everything different.

You were always so bright and kind and loving even toward him. You made lunch and dinner for everybody. You prepare a new batch of coffee at morning and now you were occupying the gym.

Bucky knew you didn’t do anything wrong but still, he didn’t want to be engaged with you. Someone could say he wasn’t interested in getting to know you because he knew deep down, or so that was what he was thinking, that you hid something. In his mind, no one could be this kind without the urge to make amend for something. He knew it pretty well. He decided to keep an eye on you, afar but still on you constantly.

During missions, you noticed how he was slightly nearer you. In the field, his eyes always seemed to be moving toward your figure.

Meal time was the time he would spend more time listening and watching you.

You were always happy and bright. Always ready to clean up the table and make a coffee ending the meal.

It happened sometimes, that he didn’t see you leaving the room. They were the days when you felt the more nostalgia. You missed your family, especially your father.

Your parents raised you in an happy and loving family. You grew up with a step brother slightly older than you, and a little sister who looked at you like you hung up the moon.

You remained linked to your family no matter what.

Your family retired in some little town in the mountains. They were happy for you, for this new adventure with the New Avengers. They always saw something special about you, not only because you were their daughter.

When you chose the Shield, they fully supported you and when you broke down the news of joining the former Thunderbolts team, your father almost cried.

“We always knew you had something in special despite the circumstances.”

You hugged them tightly, then your brother and sister, before leaving for New York.

It was now six month since your arrival, when Valentina entered the common room. “Barnes and Y/L/N,” Valentina spoke. “Come here.”

You were on the couch with the others, while Bucky was in the kitchen. Once you were all there, Valentina spoke again. “So,” she clapped her hands. “We need two agents for an undercover operation. Two months.”

Everyone looked at each other knowing already what she was going to say.

“Barnes and Y/L/N,” she said smiling. “Congratulation on your wedding. Leaving in three days. You’re gonna have all the details from Mel.”

“WHAT?” Bucky exclaimed. “Absolutely no. I’m out.” Bucky stood abruptly.

“Not so fast, soldier. You don’t have a choice.”

You remained frozen on the couch.

“Barnes,” Valentina moved toward Bucky. He towered over her, but she wasn’t scared at all. “I fear,” she rested his hand on his flesh arm. “That you’re in the idea of… how can I say? Oh yeah… making decisions.” She smiled softly. “We need two agents. They have to be married and happy and…”

“In love?” Mel suggested, already regretting once Bucky looked at her.

“Right… in love. Can you fake it?”

She opened her arms, waiting for an answer.

Bucky, cornered, nodded his head.

“Wonderful,” she looked at you. “And you sweet Y/N? Can you be in love with this guy for a couple of months?”

“I’ll try.” You looked down, not being able to look at Bucky’s face.

“Amazing,” she turned to Mel. “So, informed them. I’ll be in the office all day.”

Once she got out, Mel gave Bucky and Y/N two folder.

“You’re gonna be Andrew and Jane and you got married a couple of years ago. This,” she handed you another folder, toward both of you stretched your arm softly touching your fingers. “Is gonna be your apartment. It’s right above the night club you need to take down.”

“Wait,” Bucky exclaimed. “You want us to be undercover for two months to take down a night club? Am I a bodyguard now?”

“Mr. Barnes-“

“Bucky, please.”

“Bucky… this is not a standard night club. We… think there is some sort of despatch for some new drugs and…”

Mel stopped talking.

“And?” Bucky said, beginning to be impatient.

“We found out some trace of a serum in some pills…”

She didn’t need to specify what type of serum, Bucky already understood. You didn’t tell anyone about your past, about your powers. You only told them what you wanted. You realised it was a bold choice but you thought about the implications and you weren’t willing to let them misjudged you. As Mel left, you were still shocked about the new mission.

Two whole months pretending to love Bucky Barnes.

Truth to be told, you didn’t need to pretend.

You couldn’t get why you felt what you felt for him. He was rude and even slightly aggressive to you, but you knew what he could have passed during his past. Maybe in that tower you were the only one who could understand him completely.

Your father, a glorious member of the military, was kidnapped by HYDRA. The same HYDRA that used to imprisoned Bucky making him known as the Winter Soldier to the world.

They used to keep their scientifically experiments on going, trying to make every time a newer version of the serum. Making it stronger and more powerful.

Your father, unfortunately, was the perfect example of experiment for them. He was single at the time, not that it would have changed something for them, perfect shape and strong built. Bucky was already the Winter Soldier at the time, but they wanted to use more men to their purposes.

He still didn’t know how and what went wrong.

As the serum run into his veins, he didn’t show the usual effects. He wasn’t any faster or stronger or even angrier. This alone made them disappointed, as they failed the experiment. Once they found out their mistake or their negligence, they hit and punched all over your father in one of their cells.

Broken ankles, ribs incapable of hold up a man like him and a fragile mind due to the constantly experiment.

That’s how your soon to be mother, found him.

She was working in a hospital when, during a night storm, HYDRA abandoned your father. He was leaning on a concrete bench on the ground, bleeding and unable to move or stand. She took care of him, as her job demanded but as the time passed, she felt in love with him just as he did with her.

He told her everything about him once they began dating, knowing she was pretty young and willing to have a family. He explained how he would have been probably the worst husband, as he wasn’t able to gave her the family she wanted, but she didn’t hesitate. She loved that man and she already chose him as her lover.

Years passed, they got married and one day she came running with a stick in her hand. “I’m pregnant!”

He picked her up and hugged her so tight. “Oh god, the baby… I’m sorry…” he said, kneeling on the ground.

“Don’t worry my love,” she said, caressing his hair. “It’s too soon to worry.”

After nine months of nausea, a beautiful girl was born.

She had her features but his eyes. She was the most gorgeous baby in the world for them.

As she grew, around three months after being born, they began to notice some particular abilities.

Her hands were always cold, no matter what temperature was in the house. Once she was able to crawl on her own, your mom noticed how your little hands always left a trace of cold water behind you. It wasn’t just the water that made them worried, it was also how you quickly moved on the floor or the beautiful but quite intimidating look in your eyes.

One day, they had their confirmation.

Your mom was on the rung ladder, trying to take down a box. She misjudged the distance and misplaced her foot. She felt or that what’s she was thinking.

In that moment, your father was coming back from the grocery store. Hands full of bags and mouth wide opened. “My love-” He didn’t complete the sentence.

Your mom was floating in the air, the box ahead of her floating too.

On the ground, a little smiley baby clapping her hands.

Your mom regained the balance just as your father use his shoulder to let her sit, after letting the groceries falling down. They moved the box on the ground, crushing it noisily making you cry a little.

Feet on the floor, your mom run to you. “No, sweetie… don’t cry. It’s all good.” She tickled your stomach and you began to laugh again.

They looked at each other in the eyes, knowing this wasn’t a typical case of medical issues.

Luckily, your mom knew someone.

It was one of the older nurses, she escaped HYDRA too. She was also the one who listened to her, truly listened to her, when she told her the story of the gorgeous man bleeding on the bench in front of the hospital.

She took a look at you, while you were playing with your hand. “She’s perfectly fine but,” she took off her glasses.

“But?” Your dad asked her worried.

“She might have some special… ability… let’s say.”

“Are you implying my daughter is a super soldier?”

“Not necessarily,” she pondered how to broke the news. “The serum they used on you might have skipped your system but settled into her blood.”

Your father broke down crying. Your mom sat keeping you into her arms.

The journey back home wasn’t pleasant, but they kept the volume down to not let you get scarred.

“It’s not your fault,” your mom told him. “I already explained to you. It’s their fault, not yours.”

“Feels like it’s mine…” he said, keeping his hands on the steering wheel.

“Well, it’s not… so stop this.” She whispered smiling.

They made you live a perfectly normal life, without the pressure of the power in you. They noticed tho, how you were able to pick a dead flower on the ground and make it alive again.

In the summer, when the heat was impossible to avoid, they kept playing with your hand. It was either for some coldness but also to see how you would react to a constantly touch.

Once you turned 18, they explained all.

You took the news very well. It was in your character. Always kind and understanding. Your father kept asking you sorry, you hugged him tighter every time.

In about three days, you would be Bucky’s fake wife.

He spent the firsts two days in his room, isolating himself from the approaching mission. He had breakfast at four in the morning, lunch in the early afternoon and dinner late at night. He did all of that just to avoid you, and you noticed.

Of course you noticed.

You didn’t think about being Bucky’s best friend of course, but you didn’t mind spending time with him too. You couldn’t deny that seeing him the first time, made your heart racing. He was gorgeous and massive and his voice, the few times you clearly heard him, sounded like a melody. You tried, as the days passed to get to know him.

Handing him the coffee in the morning was the first step but he didn’t accept it. Making a meal for everyone didn’t do the job either.

You respected his silence, even tho you two would have to have a conversation sooner or later about the mission. You spent three time reading alone the folders Mel gave you. You read about the apparently ceremony on a beach in Greece you two had. You could almost picture it.

Your white and soft dress, moved by the light see breeze. Bucky with a dark blue suit, no tie and a couple of buttons opened. Smiles and laughs and a lot of friends cheering for you.

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts.

“Coming,” you said in the air, thinking it was Bob or Yelena. “Miss me so much-”

Bucky was behind that door, waiting in the corridor like a statue. “Let’s get this done,”

You moved and let him inside.

He noticed the folder opened on the bed, just as you noticed his folder crushed by his hand. “So tomorrow we prepare the essentials,” he said sitting on the edge of the desk, which creaked under his weight. “Valentina provides for everything. It’s gonna be all already in the apartment.” He said that methodically and practically.

“Shouldn’t we talked about… us?” He perked his eyebrow. “Well not us but… yeah us.”

“There’s no us, Y/N.”

“Of course,” you coughed a little. “The us for those two months.”

“Again, there’s no us. We need to be a little affectionate for the people outside. Once we’re alone, we’re strangers again.”

Strangers.

So that’s why you were for him. Someone came in his little world disrupting it.

“Gotcha… strangers.” You said, keeping your smiling on your face.

He left your room after a few more indications.

Door closed, your eyes began to sting.

The third day, Bucky kept himself again isolated in his room.

You packed your essentials, some make up and jewellery and removed your father’s necklace. You kept it hidden above your shirt, no one saw it. Around eight in the evening, the jet was ready to leave.

Bucky shook John’s hand, quickly and politely and wave to Bob, Ava and Yelena.

You, always you, hugged each of them with a bright smile on your face.

“Don’t let him ruin the mission,” Yelena whispered.

You heard about super soldiers and their earring, your father had super hearing, so you knew Bucky heard it.

You didn’t know if you heard him huffing or it was a sick joke of your mind.

Valentina waited for you. She glanced at Bucky, smiling at him. You saw his corner lightly rising as the gentleman he was.

She moved in front of you. “Your first undercover mission for us. It’s gonna be amazing I’m sure of it.” She caressed your arms. “I put the dress for a party in the closet. It’s a fancy one so be impeccable.”

“Why the boss of a night club should have a fancy party?” Bucky asked.

“Because Barnes,” Valentina moved closed to him. “He needs funds and black tie’s party are the most effective way to do it.”

You both got on the jet as the door closed. Sitting in front of each other, the mission began.

“They’re gonna be together you know?” Valentina said.

“Twenty bucks Barnes’s gonna be the first crumbling.” Yelena proposed.

They all laughed and agreed before entering the tower.

On the jet, the silence made it clear that you were not going to be able to hear anything other that the engines. You glanced at him once, keep reading the folder. Bucky loaded and unloaded his gun at least three times. He glanced at you too.

“So Andrew?” You asked Bucky, reading the folder.

“Yes, Jane.” He replied without looking at you.

Could that be the first sign of truce? Maybe.

Bucky spent the flight sleeping, or at least faking the sleep. He had his mind full, his brain working non stop and it was all your fault.

He spent the two days in his room looking at the files.

“Maybe they burn if I stared at them for too long.” He told to himself aloud in his room.

Bucky didn’t want to have your face in his mind constantly.

Your hair to soft, your smile too bright, your eyes to shiny and your voice like a melody. When he saw you the first time, his heart was beating so fast he couldn’t even breathe correctly.

An angel in the tower, that’s what he thought about you.

He put up with his hard facade, since he knew he couldn’t believe or trust you right after seeing you the first time.

Truth to be told, Bucky would have immediately put his life into your hands.

Reading the file, he began thinking about how your life with him could be.

It was a fake one, but it was something.

The idea of being able to kiss you or hug you or even hold your hand was the thing that kept him awake during the evening. Deciding to avoid you? Not his best idea, but it was the only way to get you far from him even tho it seemed you didn’t like to get far from him.

Bucky was mesmerised by you, he truly was but he also had to protect himself after years of being treated like a nobody.

Usually, HYDRA taught it to him, overly kind and gentle people had to make amends for something so brutal and awful did in the past.

Bucky knew how this was.

HYDRA made him a weapon, the most lethal and terrible one. People were scared of him and he had to make a gigantic amend to made people believe him.

He was still the same tough and slightly rude old man, but inside he was even the same old boy who helped Steve when bullies kicked him in the alleys. Y/N was definitely too kind, but it wasn’t the first time someone like you, a literal angel, was in reality someone so bad and awful. He already seen the scenario and he didn’t like it.

Back when he was fighting the Flag Smashers with Sam and John Walkers, the little and cute Karlie made his all world crumbled.

In his mind, you could be the same and he couldn’t risk it all for some feelings even to he began to realise there was no escape from the feelings.

The rational part of him made him thinking.

If she was so bad, why Valentina hired her as a new member of the team?

Shouldn’t be in the raft like criminals or worse, former HYDRA agent?

Seeing you as a potential threat like being a sleepy HYDRA agent made his blood boil, and even tho he was still very much attracted to you, spiritually and physically, he decided to kept the facade on and have a little digging in your past.

Family? Normal.

Education? A normal and “boring” school somewhere in the countryside.

Former experience? Training with Shield after discovering the powers you had.

Current occupation? New member of the New Avengers and probably crush of John Walker.

He grunted and growled at the last point.

He kept looking at you, he told himself for the digging he had to do, but it was just and excuse. The upcoming mission made him tremble on his legs. He cleared the case fast enough with Valentina and Mel and run to his room. Once he was inside, he threw himself on the bed face against the pillow.

He suffocated a grunt and push the pillow more against his face.

“Why me?” He mumbled in the soft pillow. “Why?”

He began thinking, really thinking, at the implications.

He would have to hold your hand, easy job.

He would have to hug you, slightly out of his comfort zone but manageable.

He would have to kiss you, this made the mission tougher than any mission implying HYDRA ever did.

As the jet landed, Bucky let you out first. He took a deep breath, inhaling your scent.

First sign of his surrender.

A car waited for you, keys above the tire.

He helped with the small luggage and put it with his in the back.

On the jet before landing, you both changed. You picked a light blue sundress with white sneakers. Your hair down, free from anything. They moved along the light breeze and Bucky’s super smell caught every particle of scent. He opted for a pair of black trouser and a white shirt, casual and comfy. The t-shirt was too white, your dress too light. He stuttered a little when he saw you, just as you did looking at his chest in that t-shirt.

Absentmindedly, he opened the door for you.

“Thanks,”

He nodded and quickly circled the car jumping on. Keys in the ignition and the car moved.

The dress slid up a little, your legs now slightly more visible.

He gripped the steering wheel with his metal hand, while the other one, kept its grip on the gear. He was very tempted by grazing your skin, already tanned.

“When we’re there,” Bucky began talking. “We…uh… should begin the process… I mean the marriage…”

“Uh- sure,” you replied. “What’s your idea?”

“Don’t know…” Bucky gripped the steering wheel harder. “I can opened the door for you and maybe put my arm on your shoulders…”

Your breath caught in your throat.

He spent weeks avoiding you and now he was willing to do all of that. You were aware of why he needed to do that, but as the skilled agent he was he could have found another way.

“Fine by me.” You smiled at him and you saw how his lips slightly raised.

The rest of the journey was used to make a tactical plan. You found out you were able to talk and you decided about what you could and couldn’t do.

Arms around the shoulders? Fine.

Hugging the side? Also fine.

Kisses? Not necessarily if not the least of your resources.

He entered the street, in a very beautiful district with lots and lots of condos there.

Valentina thought that getting an apartment would have been way more easier than a solo house.

“Less welcoming from neighbours,” she said. “And the nightclub is right ahead of you in one of the most popular and crowded streets.”

Once Bucky parked the car in one of the street spot, he jumped off and circled the car. He picked the luggage in the back and walked toward your door. He opened it, still having all the bag in his covered metal arm, and let you jumped off too.

As he said in the car, he circled your shoulders.

Ahead of the condo, where the lodge was, a couple of man were waiting for you. Valentina called some Shield’s agents to help you with moving, just for making the thing more real.

“Andrew?” One of the man called. “And you must be Jane, right?”

The man, fully aware of you too, glanced at you a little too much. Bucky’s hand lightly pressed more on you.

“Yeah, we talked on the phone.” Bucky replied, arm still on you.

“Miss Mel gave us the keys and we put the boxes already in the apartment. Here’s the key,” he stretched the arm in front of you.

“Thanks,” Bucky grabbed them, losing the contact with your body. “I’ll have them.”

Once the concierge man got out and saluted you, Bucky grabbed the luggage he rested for a second on the ground before you could take them.

“Let me, Jane.”

You nodded smiling, while grabbing his biceps. “Always a gentleman,” you kissed his clothed arm.

The metal one.

“I’m sure he is,” the concierge man told you. “Hey, are you not hot with that cover?” He said pointing at the covered arm.

Bucky that day opted for a white T-shirt, but he put an additional sleeve and glove just on the left arm.

“Uh,” Bucky said smiling. “A little, but gotta do what I have to do… lost it serving the country…”

The man nodded proudly.

Valentina chose your cover precisely and that included Bucky being in the military due to his built.

“Big guy I can let you walk out there without not putting in the army.”

Bucky nodded but you noticed how he had a slightly sad look.

You cover was way more easier. Jane was an author and needs to spent time home writing her first novel.

After talking a little with the concierge, and a couple of your new neighbours, you and Bucky got in the elevator and pressed the button of your floor. Valentina chose the attic.

“Maximum security and comfort,” she told you while she explained the mission. “And you won’t have anyone above you.”

Bucky’s arm was still on your shoulders. He noticed when you were already at your floor. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry.” And again, you grabbed his biceps.

Inside, the apartment was gorgeous.

Entering in the large, maybe too large, living room you could accessed to the kitchen on the left and the terrace right in front of you. Getting out, Bucky glanced down. “Here’s the club.”

“Crowed even during the day.” You added.

You got back inside and looked for the bedrooms.

Entering the corridor, you saw two identical bathroom and two others doors. You grabbed a knob, while Bucky grabbed the other one.

Two bedrooms, same style.

You nodded at each other and entered closing behind both doors. You both lost track of the time.

You felt asleep and a knock on the door woke you up. You heard talking behind the door and opened it.

“Yeah we’re here. We must have felt asleep,” Bucky said, phone against his ear. “Valentina.” He silently mouthed you.

“Hi Val,” you said, scratching your eyes yawning.

“She asked if you’re okay,” Bucky reported you.

You raised your thumb entering the bathroom.

Bucky smiled at your back.

You splashed some fresh water on your face, while he was still talking. You got out of the bathroom with the dress still on, so while you heard Bucky saluting Valentina you got back in the room to change. You got out some minutes later, after checking the clothes she chose for you. You picked some short and a blouse.

“What something to eat?” You asked Bucky with your usual smile.

“Yeah, I can order something.”

You opening the fridge still and looked inside, bending down a little.

Bucky stood from the couch and stopped walking.

That’s gonna be tough, he thought.

“Uh… she packed already the fridge I see…” he noticed.

“And the pantry,” you said, opening some cabinets. “Fancy some pasta?” You said already picking a pack of spaghetti.

“Pasta’s fine.”

You picked pans and pots and started to cook, while he got the table ready. You moved already like a couple.

Once it was ready, you sat in front of each other.

“What’s the plan for today, Andrew?”

“Practising already?”

“Well,” you said picking a big fork of pasta. “Gotta know what’s my husband wants.”

He looked at his finger. The ring sat there, calm and steady.

You looked down at your hand too and played with it.

“You chose a good one,” you teased him.

“Gotta know what’s my wife wants.” He smiled softly.

In that moment you thought that you could do anything.

During the afternoon, you decided to take a look at the district. You walked onto the Main Street, where the club was. Your shoulders kept bumping into each other. At the crosswalk, he let you stay in front of him slightly and put his hand onto your lower back.

You pushed yourself behind, resting yourself a little on his body. You decided to have a coffee in a cafe near the club.

“We should take a look at the bodyguard’s past. Looks he has some past,” Bucky said sipping his coffee.

“We’ll do it tonight after-”

“WHAT A LOVELY COUPLE! PLEASE LET ME TAKE A PICTURE!” A man yelled happily.

You looked at him and smiled. “Oh Andrew look,” you said pointing at his Polaroid. “Can we take one please?”

“Sure,” Bucky replied smiling.

It was the first real smile you saw on his face.

The man told you to get closer. You did and your cheek crushed on his.

As he took the picture, you stayed there for a couple of seconds more. He gave it to Bucky and he gave him some money.

“Thank you! Thank you! Really nice couple.”

“Thanks.” You both replied.

At the sun sat down, you got back to the apartment.

Bucky talked and you found out he liked talking a lot.

You began a routine.

At breakfast you always prepared the coffee and this time, Bucky always picked the cup from your hands.

At lunch he cooked, failing sometimes, but you ate no matter what.

Dinner time was the funniest moment, whoever lost the game of searching different things or people made the dinner.

You sat on the terrace, binoculars in your hands for the recognition of the club, trying to beat a super soldier.

“There. On the bench. A guy with a red shirt.”

You huffed.

“Oh… on the balcony. Second floor. A dog sleeping.”

“Buckyyy... c’mon.”

“What? You can’t beat me.” He snorted. “There, on the first floor. Someone dancing.”

You raised your arm, waving an imaginary white flag.

Useless to say, you made dinner every night.

The first week goes pretty well. Bucky finally opened up and smiled even more.

He talked about his past, which of course you knew already. “It wasn’t simple getting into the game again. My skills were used to the wrong purposes and… it took me a lot.”

You rested your hand on his. “But you were stronger. Everyone knew you were the victim, Bucky. Don’t let stupid people thing something else of you.”

“And you?” He asked after some minutes of silence. “What’s your story?”

“You know my story. I know you looked at it.”

“Maybe but I want to hear it from you.”

You told him everything but the HYDRA part about your father. He would have known, but it wasn’t the right time.

“So you’re a genetic miracle?” He said softly but quiet not fully convincing.

“You can say that.” You involuntarily touched your neck.

“Left the necklace at home?”

“How do you know about it?”

I can’t stop staring at you, Bucky thought.

“I’m a pretty good observer.”

“It’s a gift from someone very important.”

“A lover?” He shyly asked.

“Much more like a dad,” you laughed.

You couldn’t tell if it was real but his all body relaxed.

Two weeks in, you collected a lot of information about the club and the owner.

You tracked how the same guy made back and forth with a big bag every two days.

The owner, a man with dark hair always wearing black clothes, made long phone calls on the threshold of his club every morning.

“Right in front of everyone,” Bucky noticed.

“So he seems like a normal guy.” You added.

At the beginning of the third week, you decided it was time to get into the club. You picked a short green dress. No sleeves or collar. Bucky opted for a black shirt, two buttons opened, and tight jeans. You reached the elevator and then he kissed your naked shoulder.

“Cameras,” he told you whispering.

It was a mere excuse, and Bucky took advantage of that.

“Right.” You said peaking his cheek.

You entered the elevator hand in hand. You stepped out of the building and crossed the street.

“Andrew and Jane.” Bucky told the bodyguard, circling your waist.

He let you enter.

The hostess inside took a glance of Bucky and you felt a wave of jealousy rising inside you. You sat at a table and admire the interior.

“Didn’t think it was like that…” you said, sitting.

Bucky too took a glance around him. “Thought it was a stripper club…”

You ordered a couple of drinks, a martini for yourself and a whiskey for Bucky.

He sipped it slowly, letting his mouth curling around the edge of the glass. You played with the glass and then took a sip too.

A drop felt from your mouth and Bucky quickly cleaned it.

“Thanks,” you whispered. “We should take a look around.”

“Fancy a dance wifey?”

“With absolute pleasure, hubby.”

He stood and stretched his arm, you took it and stood too. He guided you on the dance floor where tons of people were moving and dancing. You turned, giving him a look of your back. He pulled you toward him, crushing on his chest. You swayed your hips following the music. He grabbed your hips, letting you guide him.

You turned your head a little, talking at his ear. “We should dance toward that door,” you turned into his arms. “Seems like it’s protecting something important.”

He nodded.

You began to slide on the floor, trying following the music.

Once you where near the door, he tried to grab the knob. The doors was of course locked.

“Can try to open it,” he said. “Need some time tho.”

As he took out the lock’s pick, someone was heard talking in the background.

Bucky stood abruptly and pushed you against the wall. He grabbed your hips and pushed himself more on you.

He angled his face and kissed you.

It wasn’t romantic.

It wasn’t prepared.

It was just the heat of moment after being almost blown out. You respond to the kiss immediately. Circling his neck, you pressed even more on him. Your fingers tangled in his locks. His leg in the middle of your, caging you. You lifted you leg, he gripped it under your tight. You both moaned in the kiss not noticing the two men arriving.

“Guys you can’t-”

You kept kissing a couple second more.

Too many.

“Oh sorry guys,” the man said quiet embarrassed. “Sorry but you can’t stay here.”

You were frozen.

“Uh… yeah… sorry,” Bucky said, hands trying to tied up his hair. “We were… uh… sorry we got caught up in the moment…”

“Hey,” the man touched Bucky’s shoulder, thankfully the flesh one. “It’s no problem but you need to… you know…”

“Oh yes… sorry again.” Bucky mumbled.

You simply nodded, cheeks red.

Bucky engulfed in a side hug, worsening the situation.

Once you were both outside, you finally relaxed a little.

You crossed the street in silence but holding hands. A shy nod to the night concierge and then into the elevator. You rested your head against his shoulder as you knew he was looking at you. Bucky let you pass once the door opened and pressed the button.

Entering the apartment, he rested the back against the closed door. You bent down over the backrest of the couch. No one talked but suddenly, you both began to laugh.

Bucky sat on the floor, sliding his back on the door. You knelt behind the couch, forehead resting on it. You looked at him and he looked at you.

After a couple of minutes, gaining your breath again from the laugh, he stood and you mimicked him. He gave you his hand and you shook it snorting.

“Well that was fun.” You said.

“Yeah… it was.”

His fingers lingered a seconds more around yours. Just as his lips did with yours. You both entered in your own room, then getting out right after with your pj on.

Smiling, you both entered in the bathroom.

Bucky undressed himself quickly and jumped in the shower. His body naturally reacted to the kiss and he hoped you wouldn’t find it weird.

The icy cold water streamed on his body, calming his nerves. He involuntarily passed his hand on the nape of his neck, where you did grab a lock of his hair.

In the other bathroom, you sat in the closed toilet. Knees up and head against them. A tear escaped your eyes. All of this, was fake. He wasn’t your husband, you thought looking at the ring you never took off. You still felt the pressure of his hand on your leg. The hunger of his lips. His soft hair in your fingers.

You stood and undressed. An icy cold shower would have resolved everything, at least you hoped.

Getting out of the bathroom, in the same moment as you practiced it all, was a little weird.

“Good night, Bucky.”

“Night, Y/N.”

You spent the night staring at the ceiling

Doors closed, the world kept shouting outside.

Bucky laid on his bed with his hands crossed on his chest. The memory of your taste still on his lips. Your warm body missing against his.

On the other side, you laid stomach down. Your face crushed into the pillow and not on his chest. Kissing Bucky made your legs buckle and when you touched his pecs, you felt his heartbeat. You did feel other part of his body and hoped he didn’t feel your nipples getting hard, but you knew he definitely did feel those.

You tried to not being conditioned by the kiss the next morning when you woke up.

You barely slept, Bucky didn’t even try. You heard the coffee machine in the kitchen and looked at the time. The clock on your wall ticked six in the morning. You huffed and sat on the bed, taking a deep breath you stood and opened the door. You walked slowly toward the living room and then the kitchen.

“Oh sorry,” Bucky said, mug in his hands. “Didn’t wanna bother you. Want some?” He asked pointing at the coffee.

“Yeah, thank you.”

You sat on a stool, not used to see him making the breakfast.

“Black with-”

“Black with three sugar,” Bucky exclaimed. “Like Walker.”

“How?”

“Told you I’m a good observer.”

You drank in silence your coffee but suddenly you decided to break it.

“Bucky we need to talk.”

“Listen Y/N,” he began. “I made it just for the mission… but I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable…”

“Bucky,” you sat better. “I’m not uncomfortable but… you avoided me at first and now you kissed me… I know it was for the mission but… we could have… I don’t know… had a fight…”

“I know. It won’t happen again.”

You were both so good at your job that you found a routine to use between the two of you.

The mission went pretty well, days passed and you guys integrated well enough with the people in the district.

The bakery knew how Jane loved a cinnamon roll while writing her novel. You tried to write something on your computer, to make the world knew you were in fact a real author. Valentina prepared some old articles and rearranged, letting you being able to consulted them in public. At the outside’s eyes, you were digging and looking for information for your novel.

The barista knew Andrew came in the cafe asking for a coffee in the afternoon. He went every afternoon, at the stroke of five o clock. He got out of the office and on his way home, he picked up a cup of coffee and something for his wife.

“Lucky woman, Jane,” the barista said.

“I’m the lucky one.” Bucky always replied.

The kiss came up in your mind every night, but the still two weeks remaining didn’t allow you to distract.

You and Bucky made a very detailed report to Valentina every two or three days.

Two weeks left now, the party was the last big piece of the puzzle.

In the previous days, after the kiss, you used the excuse to hang out just to enter more in the club. You noticed the same guy with the same bag and people coming back and forth. Those people, seems every time a little bit bigger. You saw them leaner and with more muscles. A shiver run down your spine. HYDRA really did use those club to spread the pills with the serum.

Bucky used to run every morning, particularly when the garbage man took his sweet time every morning with their trash. Feigning a cramp, he stretched his legs on a bench right outside the club. Bucky wore a pair of glasses with a camera in the rod. Once he came back, he gave the glasses to you and you downloaded every time the images.

As you sat with the computer in front of you, Bucky drank from a bottle of water. He always did after his run and you began to think it was a mere way of teasing.

You felt in a trap but you didn’t let him win all the time.

As you preferred running in the evening in the park, you came back sweaty and hard breathing, you stretched in the living room. Bucky was always on the couch reading some notes and looking at the pics he took during the day. You always stretched your arms in the air, letting your t-shirt rise a little. Bucky always changed the way he was sitting and licked his lips every time you turned.

It was the night of the party that changed everything.

Valentina didn’t arrange the invitation by a mere case of fortune. She knew that the climbs owner every year invited the people on the district to his annual party.

“It’s easy and effective. They saw him as a philanthropist and of course having the club in an exclusive position made him seems legitimate.” Valentina explained on the phone speaker some days before the event.

“Did you guys let him see you?”

“Barely,” Bucky replied.

“He’s never in the club. We don’t know him.”

“Did you saw him?”

“Once,” you said.

“That’s enough,” Valentina replied. “Y/N?” She asked.

“Yes?”

“I think you should flirt with him a little bit,” Valentina suggested.

“Did you remember she’s married to me?” Bucky asked, raising his voice.

“Did you remember it’s an undercover mission, Barnes?” Valentina asked Bucky. “And a lot of wife married with other man every day…” she left the phrase hanging in the air.

Yeah but no husband looks like Bucky, you thought.

“How should I do it?” You asked.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. You put your hand on his. “Should I let him buy me a drink?”

“Use your weapon darling.”

“Alright,” you declared. “I’ll see once I’ll be there.”

Bucky stopped the call. His voice dropping down in a second.

“Let’s get ready.” He said, standing and running to the bedroom.

“Buck-”

He already closed the door.

You got back to your room and your phone rang, your personal one. Looking at the screen you saw your father’s number blinking.

“Hey,” you tried to feign happiness.

“You’re a terrible liar,” your dad replied back. “What’s going on?” He asked you serious.

You explained him all.

About how Bucky still didn’t know how you got your powers. About how your dad in HYDRA wasn’t an easy thing to say to Bucky. How Valentina suggested you to flirt with the club’s owner and Bucky had that weird reaction.

Bucky.

Bucky.

Bucky.

He was in your head.

In your heart.

On your lips.

“Woah,” you dad exclaimed. “Too much information honey.” He replied as you were talking about the kiss you and Bucky shared.

“Sorry,” you laughed.

“Honey,” his tone sweet like sugar. “If you think Bucky’s the one… you should be talking to him.”

“I don’t know how Bucky would react knowing that-”

“React to what?” Bucky exclaimed.

You forgot to lock the door and he had super hearing.

Terrible combo.

“I gotta go. Talk to you later,” you stopped the call. “Bucky is not what you think…”

“Explained it to me then.” He almost ordered.

“I-I can’t…”

“I knew it. Your hiding something,” he looked at you with hate. “Let’s finished this mission and then you’re gonna leave the Avengers once and for all.”

“Bucky no-”

But he was already out of your room.

You knelt on the floor crying.

After an hour, where you didn’t even hear him at all, he opened the door to your room. You sat on the bed, tying the lace on your shoes.

“Are you ready?” He asked you. The sweet tone he had, completely gone.

“Ready.”

It wasn’t simple feigning love when the other person almost didn’t look at you. Bucky was a great spy but a terrible liar and he couldn’t handle not being affectionate to you. He still had his hand on your waist. His lips lingered on the delicate skin on your shoulder. He kissed the top of your head standing in the queue in front of the club.

For the occasion, the club was completely transformed. Red drapes and black rug on the floor.

“HYDRA’s colours,” he whispered in your ear.

You nodded.

Once it was your turn, the bodyguard recognised you and let you in.

If the outside of the club was the same, the inside was totally reorganised. The red drapes on the outside seemed lighter on the inside. The table were all covered in black tablecloths and red roses stood in the middle in tall and glassy vases.

You dress had a long and deep slit, sitting down your tight was visible.

Bucky did take a look at your leg.

“Ladies and gentleman, welcome. Every night, people walk through these doors looking for something. It may be freedom or purpose or even a chance to leave the world outside behind,” the man began speaking.

The man was the owner.

The real mind behind everything.

The man creating a new squad of super soldier using people’s weakness.

“I believe we’re all capable of becoming more than we think, if we’re willing to let go of our limits and embrace change. So tonight, forget who you were when you arrived. Dance, celebrate, and enjoy every moment. By the time you leave, you might discover you’re stronger than you ever imagined. To new beginnings.”

Everyone around you cheered and applauded.

“Welcome to the Cepire.”

Cepire.

Your mind worked relentlessly.

“Bucky,” you shook his arm. He barely turned his head. “Bucky,” you called him again whispering.

“What?” He replied. His tone showing no affection.

“Bucky… Cepire is the anagram of Pierce,” he finally looked at you in the eyes.

“What?”

You moved closer, linking your arm around his neck. Your mouth and warm breath against his ear. “I think this is Pierce’s son.”

“How do you know Pierce?” He asked you angry. “Y/N? How did you?” Anger flashing across his face.

“Please,” you kissed him. A quick peck on his lips. He remained frozen. “Trust me and proceed with the mission. Let’s have a fight and I’m gonna try to find something.”

He stood. “Oh yeah it’s convenient for you. Why don’t said anything before?”

You mentally thanked him.

“Am I not free enough to make decisions?” You stood abruptly too. “You know what? I’m going now.”

People around you looked at you.

“Sorry.” You told them.

Bucky made his way toward the bar. You moved to the other side, where a long table full of flutes of champagne stood there.

“What a stunning woman like you is doing all alone here?”

The owner moved toward you. His voice deep and weirdly soft.

“Regretting my marriage… oh stupid champagne,” you said, glancing at him. “It made my tongue run a little too fast.”

“Am I sensing some trouble in paradise?”

Well, let’s see.

He made his personal mission hating on you since day one. You couldn’t be honest with him even if you would literally put your life into his hands. He then made a teeny tiny step ahead with you. And lastly he kissed you like his life depended on that to “not blow up the cover”.

You could have said that, but instead you skated over. “Nothing like that,” you rested your hand on his forearm. “But sometimes… marriage is tough.”

You said, emptying the glass of champagne.

He snapped his fingers, and second later a waiter appeared with another flute of champagne.

You took it from his hand, letting your fingers grazed his. You didn’t see Bucky, but it was like feeling his presence on you.

The man, you were now sure was Pierce’s son, kept talking and leaning towards you. He moved closer, whispering something at your ear. “You shouldn’t let a man conditioning your life…” he said, looking at you with a spark in his eyes.

“Maybe you’re right-”

Your head felt heavy. Closing your eyes, you leaned on the counter.

He snacked his arm around you, cradling your head on his shoulder. “There you are… Y/N.”

But you were already passed out on his shoulder.

Bucky went out, not seeing the scene. He took his phone out of his pocket and called Valentina.

She answered immediately. “Any news?” She asked worried.

“Y/N thinks the owner may be Pierce’s son.” He didn’t asked. The told her.

Valentina didn’t reply immediately.

“Is he?” He asked now as confirmation.

“We had some doubts about that but… if she thinks that it may be true.”

“You put us on a mission with Pierce’s son? Are you of your mind? You should have told us at least.” He whispered shouted.

“Barnes,” she tried to talk. “We couldn’t say it for sure. We need confirmation first.”

“Well now you have it and…” Bucky stooped.

“And what? Barnes?”

“She’s flirting with him… like you suggested it… gotta go. Talk to you later.”

He didn’t wait for her reply.

Entering again the club, Bucky didn’t see you. Panic began to rise inside his body and a wave of fear invaded his mind. “Y/N where are you?” He asked himself.

In the back of the club, you woke up on a chair. No chain or rope. Just sat there.

A man, overly tall and muscular, stood in front of the door.

There were no windows and just a bulb of light hanging on the ceiling.

The door opened.

The owner, better saying Pierce’s son, entered the room and ordered the man to leave you alone.

You gulped.

“Well, well, well,” he began. “Y/N Y/L/N. How’s daddy?”

“Don’t know,” you replied, now weirdly calm. “How’s your daddy?”

He touched his chest, right above his heart, wounded. “Valentina didn’t teach you manners I see…”

Your hands began to shake. Tiny flakes of white sparks rose on your palms, but they didn’t strike up.

“I wouldn’t, if I were you,” he said, stretching his shirt sleeves. “This room have an electric magnetic field around it. Your powers are… useless inside here.”

“They will come to find me.”

“Oh we counted on it. Especially your husband… Andrew right?” His smile darkened. “Never thought of the Winter Soldier as… Andrew.”

Every time he pronounced Bucky’s fake name, a shiver run down your spine.

“You got me for a second,” he seemed like he was complementing you. “But I’ve never forget my dad’s best experiment… and you,” he circled the chair. “You have your dad’s eyes. Same expression of someone wanting to do the good thing. He was weak.”

“My father was a victim but he was never weak.”

“He was.” And then he smacked your head making you falling from the chair.

Pain rose inside your head, you felt the warm blood streaming on your forehead but also noises from outside.

You smiled weakly. “He’s coming for you.”

“Again, I hope that.”

He moved like a shadow and got out the room, leaving you alone on the floor. You tried to stand slowly. Your head banging and your arm hurting as you felt on that. You heard punches, shooting and yelling.

When the door opened, you fear for your life but a shiny hand helped you to stand properly.

Bucky.

“Y/N,” he was panicking. “My god what did he do?”

“Hit my head… Bucky everything is spinning…”

“Rest on me, sweetie.”

Holding you up, he got the both of you out. You saw the man that was in the room with you, laying on the floor. A bullet in his forehead.

“Not so fast, soldat.” Pierce’s son told in the dark corridor.

Not seeing him, you began to run. Bucky held your body with his metal arm, while the other held a gun. You arrived on the dance floor, empty. No one was there anymore.

As there was no other people in there, or that’s what you both thought, he pushed you under a table moving his attention to Pierce’s son.

He was fast, so damn fast.

Bucky blinked when he shoved him on the ground. No one could tackled down Bucky, but he did it.

You felt the power rising in you, and you tried to stand. In that moment a couple of men, incredibly strong and big, arrived. You stretched your arms ahead of you, pointing at them. White streaks came out of your palms. You felt the power rising in your body and seeing Bucky on the ground, fighting for his life, gave you a purpose.

The two men were strong but you power was stronger. In a second they were on the ground, frozen to death.

Pierce’s son looked at you for a second, while Bucky was still on the ground. “Oh,” he muttered. “We bet on the wrong horse.”

He moved toward you, gun in his belt. As he took it, Bucky swung his legs making his losing the balance.

He regained it quickly and pointed the gun at Bucky’s chest. “I wouldn’t,” he smiled. “Don’t want your boyfriend to suffer, right?”

In a rush of adrenaline, you made the chandelier shaking. Seeing a white aura around you, Pierce’s son looked up at the chandelier. In that moment, you stroke at him. Falling down, he pressed the trigger of the gun and a bullet landed in Bucky’s side.

“BUCKY!” You yelled full of anger.

Pierce’s son laid down on the ground dead. You slid toward Bucky, crawling on the floor.

You rest your palms on his side and cried.

“Please... Bucky stay with me. Please don’t leave me.”

You closed your eyes for a second, concentrating. Your hands began to glow, feeling the powers flooding from your body to his.

It happened all fast around you, but you were concerned only about Bucky and saving his life.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and you flinched lifting your right hand in the air while the left one remained on Bucky.

“Whoa,” John lifted his arms. “It’s me. What happened?”

The rest of the team and Valentina entered.

“I don’t know… I really don’t… I killed him,” you said, pointing your head toward Pierce’s body. “But he pulled the trigger… an-and it reached Bucky’s side…”

Under your palms, Bucky began breathing normally again.

You laid on the ground tired. Your healing power didn’t affect you but with the blood still coming out of your head, it was another situation.

The paramedics took over. “Ma’am,” one of them said to you. “You did it amazing but let us work now.”

His tone was sweet so he let him.

On the ambulance, after sticked the pads on Bucky from the machine, you took his hand. He removed the oxygen mask, letting it slide on his face.

“No Bucky,” you grabbed the mask. “You need this.”

“Oh god,” he panted. “Am I dead?”

You panicked. “God, no. Bucky you’ll live… you’re gonna be okay.”

“If you say so angel. You’re so beautiful… but not as beautiful as Y/N,”

A breath got stuck in your throat.

“She’s beautiful and I was mean to her… she’s always so nice and kind and gentle… I don’t deserve her… when I kissed her my heart was beating like crazy...”

John behind you in the ambulance, while the other remained in the club, snorted. “Knew it…” he whispered.

“Shut up.”

“Angel?”

“Yes, Bucky?” You said sweetly.

“Would you said it to her?”

“Saying what?”

“That I love her… I’m so sorry for treating her like that… I’d love her even if she was HYDRA…”

“What?” John whispered.

“Later.”

“She’s the only good thing in my life and I wrecked it…”

He began crying and his heartbeat rose. The paramedic in the back of the ambulance yelled. “FASTER! WE’RE LOSING HIM! Miss please,” and pushed you on the side.

“I’m telling her, Bucky.” You cried.

John hugged you tight. “It’s gonna be okay…”

But he couldn’t know that for sure.

In the hospital, Bucky was immediately taken into surgery.

Valentina and the other Avengers came immediately. Bob was there too.

“What happened?” Yelena asked.

You explained them all.

How you were flirting with the man. How you got your head heavy in a second and how you woke up minutes later in a dark room. You told them he was Pierce’s son, and Yelena fought against her tears.

John kept an arm on you. “Why did Bucky told about…” he didn’t knew how he could say it without having implications.

“That he would love me even if I was from HYDRA?” You looked Valentina. “You knew right?”

She nodded.

Everyone kept looking at you.

“I was born from a man tortured by HYDRA. He was an experiment but…” a tears escaped your eye. “The serum failed on him and apparently settled in me.”

“So you are…” Bob began asking.

“No, I’m not a super soldier… but I have those powers and… I’m using them for something good…”

Yelena was now crying. Ava followed her behind. John’s arm still on you and now Bob engulfed all in a hug.

“Come on Valentina,” he told her. “Join us…”

She did.

Yelena personally guided to the medic bay. “You should patch it up,” she said, pointing at the forehead. “It’s bleeding again.”

You looked down.

“Hey,” she lifted your chin. “No one here is angry with you. You’re no HYDRA. You’re an Avenger.”

You hugged her tight. “Can you bring me to Bucky?”

She nodded.

On the other side of the med bay, in a single room, Bucky laid down.

His body totally recovered but he needed rest.

“We gave him something to sleep. He’s gonna need at least a couple of days to rest completely, but you did a great job healing him.”

“Why did he…”

You didn’t know how to say it.

“He had a little heart attack but it’s now all under control. His heart was beating like crazy. You can stay here if you want.”

You stayed there for two days.

You held his hand and caressed his face. Even during sleep, he was the most handsome man ever. His feature relaxed and his mouth slightly raised in the corners.

He woke up after a couple of days. You were still there.

“Angel?” He realised he was talking to you in the ambulance. “God I fumbled.”

“You didn’t,” you caressed his cheek. “I was so worried.”

“If you’re HYDRA… please tell me before I’m gonna do something irresponsible…”

You preceded him and kissed him.

He responded immediately to the kiss. His hands shaking but firmly rested on your head, pulling you into him. He panted when you put your body slightly on him.

“Ouch,” he grunted. “Careful sweetheart.”

“Oh god sorry.”

You sat on the chair near his bed, keeping his hand between yours and explained all to him.

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of time but his eyes remained steady on you. “I was worried you were here for them… and I treated you as a threat but,” he snorted. “You’re by far the most kind and amazing woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah I know,” you slid a lock of hair for his face. “The angel told me…” you teased him.

“Please,” he closed his eyes smiling. “Don’t reminded me.”

“I’ll make it as my personal mission, Barnes.”

You both stared at each other with nothing but love in your eyes.

“So he’s dead?” He asked you.

“Dead.” You confirmed.

The following days were like a dream. Bucky found himself as a lover boy and you loved it. He waited for you in the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

“You should rest, Bucky.”

“Can’t,” he kissed your cheek. “Need to make amends for my behaviour.”

Yelena and Ava entered the kitchen and smiled but right after they playfully teased him.

“So he’s dead crumbled first right?”

“Shut up Belova.” He smiled, arm linked to your waist.

“God your such a sap…”

John delighted by the scene, hugged you both. “Found your match I see. Don’t ruin it man.”

“Wouldn’t dream on it…”

Bob looked at you like a little kid watching his parents in love.

Valentina entered unannounced. “Hey look at this,” she sid not surprised.

Bucky had his all body crushed against yours. He leaned behind you, hugging your waist while you spread some jam on a bagel.

“Guys can I talk to you?” She said, serious. “In private?”

You followed her into another room.

“Pierce’s son is definitely dead,” she told.

You and Bucky both huffed relieved.

“You were right about everything Y/N and… I’d like to make you an apology. We should have informed you.”

“I get it why you didn’t, Valentina.”

“Anyway I’m here for those,” she reached in her pocket. “This is for you.”

Bucky picked the envelope. “A reservation for an hotel?”

“It’s my apology gift for you,” she smiled. “Picked a five star hotel here in New York and spent some days resting,” she finished. “But not too much. The world needs you.”

The same night, Bucky chose the most luxurious hotel in town. Spa in the room, meals in bed and a terrace. You left the tower the same exact night, as you were too excited to spent time alone. As you arrived in the massive suite, Bucky immediately orderer room service.

“What you want, doll?” He asked you, cornering you. “I’ll buy you everything you like.”

“Well,” you circled his neck. “Since you were very rude,” you kissed the tip of his nose.

“Uh uh,” he moaned.

“Surprise me… let’s see if you’re worthy…”

You removed your hands from his neck and slid toward the bedroom.

As Bucky ordered on the phone, you took all the clothes off. “… yeah thank you. Half and hour? Perfect. Bye.” He hung up. “Doll,” he told you. “It’s gonna be around-”

You hid yourself behind the bedroom’s door, letting only your leg out.

“Doll,” he panted.

“Want to take a shower before eating?” You asked, battling your lashes.

Bucky did definitely want that.

He run to you and you squeaked happily. He was in the bathroom in a second. He looked at you fully.

Naked and glowing.

He saw the ring sitting on your finger. “You still have it.”

“Kinda like it.” You said, entering the shower.

He removed all of his clothes and jumped in the shower with you.

You couldn’t avoid looking at his all body.

His massive frame occupied most of the space. His hard pecks stood in front of you. His hands immediately reached and grabbed your waist. He pushed you against the wall. His cock already hard, pointing up against his stomach. “Yeah… sorry…” he said blushing.

You grabbed the shaft and began stroking it. With your free hand, you pulled him down on your lips. He let you do all.

“Doll,” he panted against your lips.

“You like it?” You asked teasing him.

Your hand become icy cold, a delicious contrast with the hot water running above you.

“Fucking love it…” he grunted, resting his metal hand on the wall.

As his cock twitched in your hand, you removed it from around his cock just as he was about to come.

“What,” he whined at the loss. “Doll,”

You turned and picked up the shampoo. Squeezing it you lather on your hands and then on your scalp. Once your head was all bubbly, you use the remained shampoo and washed his hair.

He bent down his head and let you spread the foam on his head. Your nails scratched his scalp with the perfect amount of force.

Conditioner and body wash, were the following steps.

You rinsed your body then his and stopped the water. You stepped out and took a nice and fluffy towel. Bucky did the same. He was still half hard and shocked.

Not even ten minutes later, someone knocked on the door. “Room service.”

Bucky opened, worried his visible excitement was still showing, and gave the waiter a big and overly generous tip.

He brought the cart inside the room, in the living room, where you were waiting for him.

Again, naked.

“You’re killing me…”

“I hope so.”

He positioned the cart in front of the table and pulled off the towel too. You took your time looking at him. He sat and lifted one of the cloches.

The most perfect steak and potatoes appeared. Juicy and tender. A perfect combination of flavour and texture. You drank a little bit of wine, adding warm to your body. Just the sight of a naked super soldier in front of you was enough. When he lifted the last cloche, after finishing your steak and potatoes, you saw the dessert he ordered.

A cup of fresh and red strawberries and whipped cream.

“Why don’t you come here, doll.” He tapped his tight.

You moved on autopilot.

Standing, he glanced again at you. You circled the table and he pulled his chair back. You sat on his tight, legs closed. Your knees grazed his cock.

He grabbed a strawberry and bit into it before pushing it into your lips. You bit where he did and some juice escaped your mouth. He licked it clean and moved down on your chest, where some drops felt too. He closed his lips around your nipple and you moaned at the contact.

“Bucky,”

“Yeah,” he sucked it harder. “Say my name.”

You dipped your finger in the whipped cream and spread it on his lips, then licked it clean all.

His cock twitched and you felt it under your legs. You decided to not let this man suffer. You took some whipped cream and spread it on his tip. You knelt on the ground, between his legs and licked the cream of his body.

“Jesus,” he moaned, as his hand flew into your hair.

You hollowed your cheeks and took him fully. You fought a little gag reflex and sucked him. Hard and deep.

He put his other hand on your head. He guided you but let you have your pace. You felt it twitching into your mouth and sucked him harder. He came with a grunt, holding for some seconds your head there. You looked at him, swallowing all.

He stared at you hungrily and moved the plates on the table. Making the right amount of space, he picked you up and sat you on the table. He spread your legs and dove in your core. You rested your weight on your elbow while your other hand grabbed his hair.

“God, Bucky… please don’t stop.”

He rested his hands on your legs and opened them more. His tongue lapped your clit and hole. Nothing left behind.

As he sensed your core clenching, he inserted two fingers in you. Moving them in and out, he kept sucking on your clit.

“Wanna come Bucky… let me come…”

“Do it,” he sweetly ordered.

You cried out as you came. Wave of pleasure coming out of your body like and explosion and tiny sparks of white light came out from your palms. You sat there panted. Your chest moving up and down.

“God you’re addicting…” He stood up and kissed you.

Both of his hands on your face as he devoured your lips. He picked you up and you squeaked grabbing his neck. He let you down on the bed like you were the most fragile thing ever. You spread your legs more and he laid in between. His cock pressing on your still throbbing core. He kissed you like that night in the club. His hands grabbing your tights before rolling his hips.

“Bucky do something…”

He took his cock in his hand and glided your core with his tip. He passed it between your folds, collecting all the wetness.

“Please,”

He inserted his tip, just the tip, and you moaned at the feeling. He pushed himself more into your pussy. You felt the stretch and every inch of him. He sat there on his knees, fully inside. He let you adjust to his size and then he began to move. He pulled out and pushed back. Your hands grabbed the sheet. He took your hand in his and intertwined your fingers, holding your arm up. He dipped down to kiss your opened mouth. He dove down more on your collarbone and neck, sucking a point he quickly found out was your weakness.

As you clench more around him, he began to move faster. “I’m coming Bucky…”

“Me too,” he kissed you more. “Come with me.”

Your second orgasm rose inside you. He sealed your mouth with his as he played with your clit with his finger. He walked through your pleasure.

As you came down, he crushed your body with his like a weighted blanket. His body, warm and sweaty, comforting you.

You both remained there for some minutes without talking. He broke the silence. “I’m sorry,” he told you whispering.

“I thought you hated me…” you whispered back. “I really thought you were… I don’t even know what…”

“I’ve never really hated you,” he rose his head, looking straight into your eyes. “I was just scared and if I have to be honest a little scared even if your kindness…”

“What do you mean?”

“You were always so kind and gentle and… I hate to say it but… HYDRA made people this gentle to trick others…”

“Bucky I’d never-”

“I know,” he kissed you sweetly. “Now I know.”

Bucky never stopped asking you sorry. He was truly disgusted by his behaviour but you perfectly understand why he did it.

One year later, you and Bucky were now officially a couple.

The team never stopped teasing Bucky for his behaviour and once you got back from the “apology gift” Valentina gave you, they began trolling the former Winter Soldier.

“So you did crumble, Barnes.” John asked.

It was no point in lying, so he did tell the truth. “Yeah… and I was a moron and an asshole…”

“Indeed she could have someone better,” Yelena teased him and Ava choked on her coffee seeing Bucky’s face.

“What?”

“Oh don’t listen them… they’re jealous…” you kissed him deeply. “There’s no one better.”

“Awwwww…” a choir rose inside the kitchen.

“I hate you all,” Bucky said. “Not you of course.” He kissed you once more.

He took your hand in his, where a ring sat.

It wasn’t Jane’s ring, this was Y/N’s ring.

He kissed the stone then the back of your hand.

“I can’t wait to marry you, Jane.” He said whispering in your ear.

“I can’t wait to marry you too, Andrew.” You replied.

What began as a mission, let the hidden feeling came out and that’s how you liked it.

You just smiled to yourself as the doors closed in front of yourself and Bucky.

It was noticeable, the change, between yourself and Bucky. 

The rare good morning grunts, or more often; complete, yet heavy, silence. They had been swapped for smiles and genuine good mornings. The training and shift patterns were easier to assign, mission reports were completed with less dent marks in the paper, and the evening dinners were less awkward. 

Sam and Wanda had become hopeful. They all had. 

“They look happy, don’t they?” Sam asked aloud, already knowing Wanda was silently standing beside him. 

She smiled. “They really do.”

Down the hallway, you and Bucky were exiting the training room, laughing. The look in Bucky’s eyes – the light – had been rare to see in the last year. But when he was with you…

The light between both of you could blind any shadow. 

“Is it permanent?” Sam asked, something in his gut denying him true joy. 

Wanda smiled, hopefully. “I think so. Their connection runs deep. He helped her heal. She helped him. Nobody can end a connection like that.”

Sam nodded, turning his head to look back down the corridor where you and Bucky had just turned. He could only hope it would last. 

Bucky had been in love with you for a long time, even if he didn’t like it. Sam didn’t want him to hide it away. He deserved love. And so did you. 

Even when all you did was fight, you were each other's safe space. 

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Shut up.”

“Because one wrong hit and it all falls down.”

You were starting to regret agreeing to family games night at Kate’s apartment. It was yourself, Kate, Yelena, Clint and Bucky; all sat on the floor. 

“Careful, doll.”

“Shut up.”

You knew you’d taken a risky move with the jenga block, but if you’d chosen the one Clint had first been trying to ‘help’ you towards, you’d lose. 

“You know, this is a stupid game. We should play something else.” Yelena said. Her’s would be a different tune if she hadn’t lost the last round. 

Kate shushed her, “She’s gonna do it.”

Clint looked at his work partner. “This is a one for all game. Can’t be girls vs boys. We’re outnumbered.”

Yelena scoffed. “Bucky is like…ancient. He qualifies for two people, at least.”

You sniggered, trying to keep your focus on the wooden block. 

“You are a child.” Clint deadpanned before turning to Bucky. “They’re children.”

“Ah!” You pulled the brick free and held up your arms. “Done it!”

The tower remained standing for another minute before Clint took his go and the tower came falling down. 

Yelena just laughed, “Ha.”

You chuckled, pushing yourself to stand. “Okay, I’m getting another drink.”

“I’ll set up the next game.” Yelena called out before picking up the monopoly board. 

“I’ll come with you,” Bucky said as you stepped over his legs before helping him up.

As the pair of you walked into the kitchen, you could hear the other three stuck in an argument over who should be the banker. 

“Beer?”

Bucky held out his hand and you passed him the two in your hand. Popping off both caps, he threw the tops into the sink before handing you yours. 

You both clinked the necks of the bottles against each other’s. “You did good.”

“Would have been easier if I didn’t have this super annoying voice coming from across the table.”

Bucky smirked a little, narrowing his eyes. “Now where would the fun in that be?”

You just shook your head as you took a sip of your beer. You leaned against the sink as Bucky leaned adjacent to you. 

“So…”

“So?”

Bucky lowered the beer bottle from his lips and braced himself on the counter. “I’ve got a free day tomorrow if you want to…do something. With me.” 

You looked him over. “Why are you shy?”

You saw him blush a little as he looked away. “I’m not- I’m not shy.”

You smiled and Bucky felt like he needed to look away despite that being the last thing he wanted to do. 

“Bucky,” your voice was soft as you looked at him. “What is it?”

“I just…” Bucky’s question was on the tip of his tongue. But then he chickened out. “I was wondering if you wanted to train with me tomorrow?”

“You were nervous to ask me to train with you?”

Bucky nodded. “Last time I asked, you said no.”

You just stood back for a moment, your eyes fixed on him. “I’ll train with you.”

Bucky felt like his crush in a 40s dancehall had just finally agreed to dance with him. “Really?”

“Really,” you nodded. “Don’t know who would train on their day off, but sure.” You smiled before grabbing the bowl of snacks on the kitchen counter. 

“We better get back in there before the bank has a hostage situation.”

Bucky chuckled, following you back into the living room. 

By the time the next afternoon rolled around, you and Bucky were beat. 

Bucky held his side. “I thought you were taking it easy after your injuries.”

You laughed, “I got a full clearance from the hospital four months ago. Good as new. Thought I’d go easy on you? Never.”

You almost had Bucky to his feet but he pulled a reverse on you. Somehow you found yourself trapped on your knees, your back against his chest. “Little too cocky, sweetheart. And who said I wanted you to go easy on me?”

Jabbing him in the ribs, he calculated your next move. You were rolled onto the mat together. As you had Bucky on his back, you felt him reach for your knife. Only, it wasn’t there. 

He felt a small pinch by his side. He looked down, a little breathless. “You remembered.”

A small chuckle left you. “I remember a lot of things about you, Barnes.”

You didn’t know what it was. Your words and their hidden meaning, the smile on his face as he was looking at you, the way his eyes flicked to your lips, or the fact that yours did the same with him. Maybe it was his hand, holding onto the side of your leg, his thumb mindlessly rubbing back and forth. Maybe it was the breathless exchange. Or maybe it was your constant reminder of him that fell forward from your t-shirt. 

Dangling between you both were Bucky’s dog tags. 

Pulling your attention away from the slow-swinging metal, Bucky spoke, “You’re still wearing them.”

Your gaze locked onto his. “Yeah…never take them off.”

Maybe it was the fact that Bucky was looking at you like…like he wanted to kiss you. Or the fact that you wanted him to. 

But something shifted. 

You cleared your throat and quickly moved yourself from Bucky’s body and stood up. “I, uh, I should…there’s somewhere I’ve gotta…” 

You couldn’t think straight. You just needed to get out of there, before you did something reckless. 

The rest was a blur. Gathering your things up, Bucky slowly standing up and trying to keep you calm. He was clueless and worried. And somewhere between it all, you’d pressed his dog tags into his palm and left. 

For the next month, things were…awkward, to say the least. 

“Has she told you anything?” Bucky asked, once again frustrated that you weren’t talking to him. 

It was bordering on week 5 of you ignoring him. 

And it. Was. Maddening. 

Wanda shook her head. “No, nothing.”

In saying you’d told her nothing, that was the truth. But deep down, Wanda already knew why. Whatever had happened between you and Bucky after that day…it had scared you. It had opened something up inside of you that you’d been forcing down for a long, long time. 

“I thought we were finally getting somewhere,” Bucky sighed as he sat down. 

“Maybe you should just try and talk to her.”

“How?” Bucky almost exclaimed.

“And we’re standing again,” Wanda whispered to herself as Bucky launched himself from the sofa and started pacing again. 

“Everytime I see her, she doesn’t look at me. If she sees me coming down the corridor, she takes a completely different exit. We got assigned a three day recon mission last week, she won’t take the mission.”

“She’ll take the mission, Bucky.”

He just shook his head. “She won’t. She hates me. Again. I don’t even…”

“She doesn’t hate you, Bucky. She never has.” Wanda told him. “Look, Y/n…she’s not someone who trusts easily. And she trusts you, Bucky. I know she does. Maybe even more than she even knows. Which also means, I know that it scares her.”

Wanda stood and laid a light hand on Bucky’s chest, a little over his heart. “Just talk to her. Find her. Make her sit down if you have to. Talk. It’s the only thing you can do.”

Bucky bowed his head and sighed. That was even if he could get you alone in a room for ten minutes. 

“We need to talk.”

You ducked your head as if a bullet had just been fired towards you. “Jesus- James.” You closed your eyes and sighed heavily. “You need to stop sneaking up on me. Make a noise or do something. How long have you been standing there?”

“Ten minutes. At least,” Bucky answered honestly before pushing himself from the wall. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t about to run off. And, from the way you’ve been punching that bag, I’d say you’re really pissed at someone.”

“Want me to give you three guesses?”

Bucky just hummed and continued to watch you as he stood a little closer. 

“What do you want, Bucky?”

“I want to talk.”

“What about?” You continued to hit the punching bag in front of you. 

“You know what.”

“No, I don’t.”

Bucky came and held the bag still and for a moment, you stood back. Breathless, sweaty and tired, you looked at him. 

“I know you’re not dumb, Y/n. You know what.”

You stepped away, untying the bandage from your hands. “Enlighten me.”

Bucky watched as you walked away from him. He could take a lifetime of you hating him, but not a lifetime of you ignoring him. 

“Aren’t you tired of this game?”

“What game?”

“This one. And the one we’ve been doing for the last few years. I thought we made up. I thought we were finally friends.”

You shook your head. “You don’t wanna be my friend, Bucky.”

“Yes, I do.” He stood in front of you before you could walk away. You finally looked at him. 

For the first time in over a month, you finally looked at him. And he knew it was still true. He could drown in your gaze for the rest of his life. 

“Or maybe I don’t.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“What I do know, however, is that I want you to talk to me. I can take you hating me for the rest of your life, Y/n. But I can’t take you ignoring me. Pretending like we don’t exist.”

“We?”

“What happened here?” You knew what he meant. The training mats were less than eight feet away from you. “That day?”

You turned your gaze away from him, trying to run away from the conversation. “Nothing. Nothing happened.”

He let you pass but he still followed behind you. “Something happened.”

“Nothing happened, Bucky.”

“Y/n.” Bucky stopped walking. 

“Goodnight, James. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Y/n, wait!” 

Finally, you stopped in your tracks. Your back was still facing him, but you had stopped running. For the moment. 

Slowly, you turned around to face him. Your grip tightened on your bag. “What?”

Bucky stood looking at you. Breathless. Angry. Worried. Sad. Annoyed. Tired.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he muttered, almost to himself as he bowed his head and braced his hands on his hips. “I can’t.” He looked back up at you, a little more determined. “I like you, Y/n. I can deal with you hating me. I’d prefer it, actually, compared to you ignoring me. If I’m being completely honest, I more than like you. But since I’ve barely been able to keep you in the same room as me for the last month, I’m gonna keep that to myself until I know you’re not gonna run away from me.”

You didn’t know what to say, so Bucky continued. 

“Just…tell me what happened…please.” Bucky was ready to get on his knees and beg. 

Your words were caught in your throat. Stuck in place, burning underneath whilst freezing on top. So you did the only thing your body was allowing you to do. 

Move. 

You could have turned away. You could have ignored it all. 

But you stayed. 

Bucky watched as you dropped the bag from your shoulder and it landed with a loud thud on the ground. Then you were making your way over to him. 

Pulling him in by his dog tags, you placed your other hand by the back of his head and kissed him. 

It was safe to say Bucky hadn’t been expecting it. Dreamed of it a few times, but never expected it. 

It felt surreal. 

You felt his hand clasp your waist, his fingertips pressing lightly into your skin almost as if to check you were real. It wasn’t long before you felt one of his hands beside your face, trying to hold you closer as he kissed you right back. 

Eventually the kiss broke apart, but Bucky wasn’t ready to let you go. 

“That,” you eventually said. “That was what happened…what almost happened,” you corrected. 

Bucky felt lightheaded and unsteady on his feet but in the best way. 

“You should have stayed that day.”

You found the courage to finally look at him. 

You shook your head. “I…couldn’t. I know it’s bullshit but…it scared me. More than anything. I’ve been hiding that part of myself for so long I just…I didn’t know what to do.”

“Well, just for future reference, this is the better answer.” 

You felt yourself chuckle a little once you saw the corner of Bucky’s mouth lift up. 

“I can take you hating me, doll. But I can’t take the silence. Even when we’re fighting, I still know you’re there. You still talk to me.”

That was when Bucky let you go. 

“What are you doing?”

From around his neck, he pulled the dog tags up and over his head. “Giving you these back.”

“But they’re yours.”

Bucky just laid them over your head and around you, holding them with a smile. “They’ve been yours since you stole them, doll.”

Holding them in your palm, you looked at them. 

“They haven’t been the only thing you’ve stolen from me.”

You looked back to Bucky, a softened smile on your face. And he was looking right back at you, the same stupid grin on his face that had been making your stomach fill with butterflies. 

“Promise me you won’t run away from me, again?”

You shrugged. “Like you said, this is the better answer.”

Bucky grinned, sharing a laugh with you as he cupped your face before kissing you again. 

That’s all the invitation you need.

You move closer, tucking yourself against his side, and Bucky shifts instinctively—adjusting, accommodating, making space even though there isn’t much to spare. His arm comes around you, solid and warm, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

For a few minutes, it’s perfect like that.

Then he sighs.

A deep, sleepy sound—and before you can react, he rolls just enough that his weight follows.

He doesn’t pin you down suddenly. He settles. Slowly, carefully, like he’s testing whether this is okay. His chest presses against your shoulder, his thigh drapes over your legs, and his arm tightens just a bit around your middle.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

He’s heavy. Not in a bad way—just real. Grounding. Like gravity decided to be kind for once.

You let out a soft laugh. “Bucky.”

He freezes instantly, lifting his head. “Too much? I can move—”

“No,” you say quickly, hands coming up to rest against his chest. “Don’t you dare.”

He blinks. “…You sure?”

Instead of answering, you relax into the couch, letting his weight fully settle. Your body sinks into the cushions, pinned in the coziest way imaginable. His heartbeat is steady beneath your palm, his warmth soaking through you until the cold from earlier feels like a distant memory.

He exhales, relieved, and lowers himself back down—still careful, still mindful.

“Guess I’m a lot,” he mutters.

You smile and tilt your head, cheek brushing his shoulder. “You’re basically a human weighted blanket.”

There’s a pause.

Then he huffs a quiet laugh, the sound vibrating through you. His metal hand shifts, resting flat against your side like he’s anchoring himself.

“…Means I’m doin’ my job, then.”

Minutes pass. Maybe longer. Time gets fuzzy when you’re wrapped up in him like this.

His breathing slows, deepens. His chin dips to rest against the top of your head, and when you shift slightly, his arm tightens automatically, protective even in sleep.

Nothing bad could reach you like this. Nothing loud. Nothing sharp. Nothing lonely.

You’re warm. You’re held. You’re safe.

And Bucky Barnes—broad, heavy, gentle Bucky Barnes—is asleep on top of you like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Your shift had ended in time, but the same couldn’t be said for your Avenger boyfriend. You guessed clocking out of work early wasn’t an option when his job was saving the world. Deeply lost in the words on the pages as the soft melodies of your carefully curated playlist only heightened the effect of the sappy story in your hands, you didn’t register the click of the door, or the heavy, usually familiar footsteps that followed. As per usual, Bucky discarded his heavy combat boots in the corner before making a direct beeline to your shared bedroom, not even bothering to take off his jacket. Only you. You were the first thing he needed after a long, trying day.

You jumped slightly as he entered the room, eyes darting up from your book to see him grinning at you from the doorframe like you’d hung the moon, slowly approaching you in your little nest. “S’just me, angel.” He cooed gently, noting that you hadn’t heard him come in. Immediately, you were cheesing at the sight of your boyfriend, finally home, slightly dishevelled from what was a stressful day no doubt, but looking as handsome as ever. “Hi, baby, hey…” You said, your tone almost carrying a tone of relief. He threw his jacket on the floor as you threw your book to the side like it was the most boring thing in the world, shifting to the edge of the bed so he could scoop you up like he always did.

And exactly that he did. He leaned down to meet your lips with his, painfully gentle as his arms snaked around your body, clad in his shirt. He loved it. Coming home to his sweet, gorgeous girlfriend, and her tender, sweet loving to take him away from the cold, harsh reality of the world in the little bubble they shared. “Hey yourself…” He mumbled into your neck, pulling you in even tighter as he took in your scent like a soldier who’d been yearning for his woman for ages. As per instinct, your hand found its familiar place in his hair as you gently played with his soft, dark locks.

He let out a deep sigh of content, melting into you like a tired pup. And when you mumbled a soft “….i missed you.” he swore his entire body was mush, practically a desperate, purring mess for your gentle touch and voice. In an instant, his lips found their way to yours again. “I missed you too, sweetheart…so damn much.” He whispered between kisses and even though there wasn’t a single inch of space between your bodies, he felt as though he didn’t have you close enough. “You got all cozy without me sweetheart, hm?” He playfully asked as he gently nudged you down to rest flat on your back on the bed again, not waiting a second to plant his entire, huge super soldier self right on top of you.

You erupted into a fit of giggles as your giant boyfriend nearly crushed you under his weight, but it was the kind of comforting weight you longed for when he was gone. That reassuring weight of the love of your life fully relaxing in your arms, the way he could only ever relax with you and no one else, the safety you felt when your big boy covered you fully, your body disappearing under his, absolutely tiny in comparison. The fit of soft laughter you two had shared dimmed down softly as he closed his eyes and hummed gently against your neck. You swore then and there you’d go to unimaginable lengths to protect the sweetest lovebug of a man currently in your arms, that you’d go to unimaginable lengths to make him the happiest man alive.

But when you’d asked him about his day, the only reply you received were his heavy little breaths fanning your neck as he shifted, deep asleep, nuzzling into you further. You chuckled to yourself quietly, and he used the split second of consciousness he regained from the sound to mutter a sleepy “…I love you, pretty girl….” And before the blush on your cheeks had managed to fade, you too had dozed off under your favourite boyfriend shaped weighted blanket. Taking in each others scents so closely, heart rates and shallow breaths synching, it was no wonder you both dreamt of each other that night.

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