Apr 7, 2022
I was feeling so depressed I didn't even think. That's the whole trouble. When you're feeling very depressed, you can't even think.
Holden Caulfield, from The Catcher in the Rye (July 16, 1951) by J. D. Salinger
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I was feeling so depressed I didn't even think. That's the whole trouble. When you're feeling very depressed, you can't even think.
Holden Caulfield, from The Catcher in the Rye (July 16, 1951) by J. D. Salinger
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i was in the clouds
always lookin down
i was by myself because
no one was around
now i think i'm next
but i'm still depressed
hangin by a thread
maybe hangin by my neck.
22/03/03
I talked to the school's social worker today and holy shit...
We talked about my depression, suicidal thoughts, fear of the future and adulthood, my family situation and much more. I cried throughout the whole hour that we talked and it was SO helpful. She got me some numbers that I could call in case I'm about to kill myself again, she helps me get a therapist and we found some ideas on what I could do as a job or something. She also reassured me, that I could take my time to get better again and that I shouldn't stress out so much which was such a relief after being pressured by everyone around me to get a job as soon as possible. For the first time in like half a year I'm actually seeing a future and feel Motivated to keep on trying again. This day has been amazing.
So if you're struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts then please go and get help, talk to a social worker or a doctor. It's totally worth it.
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Vou ser sincero.
Pedir ajuda sabes quantas vezes eu pedi ajuda sabes quantas vezes eu gritei sozinho no escuro sabes quantas vezes senti dor e não falo de dor física
Sabes o que isso é acordar todos os dias com a sensação que na realidade eu já morri e que fui eu que enterrei o meu próprio caixão sim eu odeio a minha vida odeio me a mim e odeio todo o mundo eu apenas sorrio para não te mandar para o caralho sigo em frente com o meu pensamento e até que a cabeça está ocupada durante algum tempo mas quando eu volto para casa chega tudo novamente eu estou-me literalmente cagando para o mundo inteiro desde que não haja mais confusão na minha cabeça
Estou no fim desta viagem não sei quanto mais tempo eu vou aguentar tenho vontade de dormir e nunca mais acordar e é por isso que dedico esta carta a todo o mundo que sabe o que é estar sem respiração a todo o mundo que sente o mesmo que sinto e deixo de lado as pessoas que são chamadas de normais a minha vida já estava prevista para ser uma merda o meu coração bate de uma forma descontrolada quando eu penso nisto mas bate mais ainda quando eu penso no meu caixão de madeira de pinho e pano vermelho estou em paranóia e ninguém pode entender isso
Por isso eu tenho o direito de fazer aquilo que me der na telha porque
Os montros vêem todas as noites asombrar meu sono.
in eight grade i thought i knew who i was. but my heart was crushed by the girl that i might have loved, before we even started to love each other. i kept it inside, i thought i was insane, i told myself i would make myself normal. i taught myself that i must hate myself.
sophomore year, i came out to my friends with the intention of coming out to my parents 2 weeks later. now it has been almost a year, and i haven’t done it. i still have frequent debates in my head on whether or not i really am bi. the thought still creeps into my brain that i could be a lesbian because i often cringe at the thought of being in a relationship with a boy. from a young age i have felt like i wasn’t straight, because, have you seen women? other times, i think i could actually be straight because recently, i’ve only had crushes on boys, and when i think of sex, my mind goes to men more often than it does to women. i panic at the thought of having to come out again as straight, because obviously, i was just looking for attention and i was just trying to fit into my friend group.