#dr shunga

[4 February 234 Before Age.  Shafulb.]

Drang Dedruhn was the supreme authority on the planet Shafulb, but not really.

She was a plump humanoid, with lustrous skin that was black on her back and head, and white from her jaw down the front of her torso.  The Shafulb were a semi-aquatic species, each possessing a healthy layer of blubber, but she was a bit rounder and more voluptuous than most.  Her office afforded her what was known as a “pontifical apartment”, a very humble term for what was in reality a penthouse suite.    Here, she lounged on a divan on the balcony overlooking the seaside, and savored a midday snack of pickled fish.  Between bites, she would lick the brine from her thick, flipper-like fingers, and contemplate her place in galactic history.    Despite her lofty titles, she had to admit that her position was tentative at best.

In the strictest sense, she was merely the high priestess of the planet’s largest religion, no more than a humble spiritual leader.  In practice, her office had outlasted and overshadowed every secular administration and institution in Shafulb’s history.  Regimes rose and fell, but the church endured, and the people came to depend upon it more with each century.  Long before Drang’s ascension, the office of high priestess had become indistinguishable from that of a temporal head of state.  Her vows precluded her from violence, but she had waged countless wars against the other regional powers in Shafulb’s sector of the galaxy.  She had sworn an oath of poverty, but in practice this meant that she had to employ some creative bookkeeping rather than deny herself any worldly pleasures.  Her sole duty was supposed to be safeguarding the souls of her followers for their passage into the afterlife, but she spent most of her time consolidating her power and riding herd over various bureaucracies.  She was supposed to be the most fervent believer in the state religion, but a life in the political arena had made her cynical and pragmatic.

As for her supposed ’supremacy’, it was superseded by the compromises she had made with the rest of the universe.    She had been locked in rivalries with other planets for decades, making and breaking alliances, fighting wars to jockey for position, and negotiating treaties to hold whatever gains she could make.  And then Luffa changed everything.

Luffa was a Saiyan mercenary, but she was more powerful than any Drang had ever encountered.  No one was sure what had happened to her, but the rumors said that she fought some terrible battle in a remote part of the galaxy, and was transformed by the experience.  Saiyans were incredibly strong to begin with, but Luffa had the power to transform herself into an even stronger, more violent creature.  She called herself a “Super Saiyan”, and while Drang had once dismissed this as a marketing ploy, she soon learned that Luffa wasn’t like the others of her race.  Where other Saiyans saw mercenary work as an enjoyable way to make a living, Luffa grew bored with it.  The wars Drang waged for Shafulb were mere child’s play for Luffa, so one day she changed the game.  Luffa arranged a summit with Drang and the other regional leaders, and coerced them to form an alliance backed by Luffa’s immense power.

The Federation became a great success, as other worlds rushed to join eager to reap the benefits of a mutual defense pact underwritten by an invincible warrior.  Drang and the other leaders retained their authority over their own worlds, and they managed to cooperate well enough to run the Federation, but there was no mistaking who the real power was.

Luffa’s motives were as simple as they were baffling to Drang.    The Saiyan had no interest in ruling the Federation worlds.  She was content to act as an enforcer, protecting the alliance from outside threats, and stepping in to resolve internal disputes.  In short, Luffa had the power to bend multiple planets to her will, yet she continually declined to do so.

This irritated Drang greatly.  She rather liked Luffa personally, but the Saiyan’s lack of political aspirations was vexing.  To have so much power and so little use for it!  And this was what made Drang’s “supremacy” a joke.  Luffa could depose Drang in a day if she wished.  The Super Saiyan could conquer Shafulb, or simply destroy the entire planet if it displeased her.  Whatever power and autonomy Drang enjoyed was merely a dispensation granted to her by Luffa.

It wasn’t all bad, of course.  Drang wasn’t so arrogant to think she had ever been truly supreme in the universe.  There were always bound to be more powerful forces out there, and it was nice to have one of them supporting Drang’s rule.  Luffa’s sole motive for establishing the Federation was to dare stronger enemies to attack it.  She had gotten her wish when the Shockmaster invaded the sector, and the war was only won by Luffa’s intervention.  Shafulb might have survived the Shockmaster, but Drang doubted that his yoke would have been any lighter than Luffa’s.

Now, a year after the Shockmaster’s defeat, Drang wondered what her next move should be, and whether or not that move would be for or against Luffa.  The Federation was a profitable venture, certainly, but Drang was beginning to wonder if it had outgrown the need for a Super Saiyan to maintain it.  Since defeating the Shockmaster, Luffa hardly spent any time in Federation space.  Had she grown bored with the Federation, just as she had grown bored of mercenary work?    Would she abandon her role in the Federation government, leaving behind a power vacuum?

During the war, Luffa had disappeared from the public in similar fashion, and one of her colleagues, Ryba Booth, had tried to take advantage of the situation.  His power play backfired, and he seemed to give up entirely once Luffa returned to win the war.  Most dismissed his scheme as folly, but Drang knew better.  Booth’s timing was bad, but his idea was sound.  Luffa couldn’t be driven out of the Federation, but if she could be convinced to leave and never return, it would be possible for one of them to seize power in her absence.    The key was to be the first to notice that Luffa wouldn’t be coming back.

Drang considered this dilemma as she scooped up a handful of morsels from a large bowl.  Was there a way to lure Luffa away from the Federation?  All she cared about was battle, and there seemed to be no opponent in the galaxy that could hold her attention for long.

The problem, Drang decided, was that no one really understood the woman.  Drang herself had a number of vices, for example.  She had a weakness for fine food.  She liked watching her enemies be publicly humiliated.   She enjoyed the way her people supplicated themselves to her.  These were hardly secrets, as Drang felt no particular shame about her less admirable traits.  She was petty and venal and she didn’t care who knew it.

By contrast, Luffa was an enigma.  She lived alone in a starship, possibly accompanied by a single aide.  There were rumors that she had a lover, perhaps an alien woman, but these were unsubstantiated.    If the lover did exist, then she was even more reclusive than Luffa.    All Drang really knew about Luffa’s personal habits was that she liked to cook.  It wasn’t enough to go on.

One question that stood out in Drang’s mind was: Why didn’t Luffa interact with her own people?  One would think that she would have invited Planet Saiya to joint the Federation.  Of, if Luffa despised her own people, she could have conquered then and ruled there instead of an alliance of alien worlds.

The more Drang thought about it, the more sure she became that her answers lay there, with Planet Saiya.  If Luffa wouldn’t reveal her own weaknesses to Drang, then perhaps she could find someone else who would...

*******

[4 February 234 Before Age.  Wrantool VI]

“Luffa, do you have anything you’d like to add?”

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and looked down at her knees.  “No,” she mumbled.

The blue-skinned, red-haired women in the chair beside her was much more forthcoming.  “She was telling me just before we got here how much these sessions were helping.  Right, Luffa?”

Luffa crossed her arms and looked up at the ceiling of the office.

“Zatte, we discussed this last time,” said the molluscoid behind the desk.  The nameplate on his office door read: “Dr. Shunga.”  “We agreed that Luffa can speak for herself.  She doesn’t have to share something if she doesn’t want to.”

“I’m just trying to help,” Zatte said.  “You know how she gets during these visits.”

Luffa shot Zatte a dirty look, then stood up and started pacing around the room.

“Oh here we go,” Zatte grumbled.  She opened her mouth to say more, but the man behind the desk raised one of his tentacled hands to signal for quiet.  Zatte sighed and slumped in her seat.

“Luffa, Zatte said you’ve been preparing more elaborate meals lately,” Dr. Shunga began.

“Nothing special,” she said.  “Just trying out some new things.  She likes Alteri cuisine, but we’re a long way from Alteri IV, so I thought I’d try a few recipes.  Made some for’cosh last night, nothing fancy.  Turned out pretty well.”

“It was great,” Zatte added.  “And so was the sadanash she made last week.  It’s like I’m living in a restaurant on Alteri IV, and I never have to wait in line.  I’m the only one who’s ever had her sadanash.  It’s an honor, really.”

Luffa shrugged.  “I’ve still got some kinks to iron out, but I think I’m getting the hang of it.   She thought it was too spicy, so I’m gonna tweak the recipe next time.”

“I never said it was too spicy,” Zatte said.  “I thought it was—“

The man raised his hand again before she could press the issue.  “Luffa, how did you know what Zatte thought about the meal?” he asked.

Luffa clenched her fists and turned away from him.  “I know, all right?”

“Is it because you used your telepathic powers to read her mind?” he asked evenly.

Luffa sighed.  “Yeah.”

Zatte was blushing now.  “It was my fault,” she said.  “We had a fight and I was upset and...”

“They’re my powers,” Luffa said.  “It’s my responsibility.  I should have said no.”

“Why didn’t you, Luffa?”  he asked.

Luffa stopped pacing and started rubbing her temples.  When she stopped she waved her hand at Zatte and said: “Look at her!  I couldn’t just refuse!  I’d do anything for her.  She... she needed to know that I still loved her.  I told her I did, but she needed to know.  And I guess... I needed to know she still loved me.”

She frowned at the man.  “Is that so bad?” she asked.

“In and of itself, not at all,” he said.  “But while you were linked,  reveling in your love for one another, you picked up stray thoughts you hadn’t bargained for.    Was the meal too spicy, Zatte?”

Zatte was suddenly tense.  “Well, yeah, a little.  But I didn’t hate it or anything.  I was just happy she made it for me.”

“But Luffa didn’t get that context when she probed your mind,” he explained.  “She only took your unspoken complaint, and let it build into resentment.”  He turned to Luffa, who had resumed pacing.  “Isn’t that right, Luffa?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” Zatte said.

“It’s my own fault, Zattie,” Luffa said.

“Let’s not dwell on assigning blame,” he said.    “You’ve both been using telepathy this way for some time now.  It’s completely natural.  Many of the couples I counsel do the same, but they had to learn to separate and ignore intrusive thoughts.  Luffa’s abilities are too broad and imprecise for that.   With time and moderation, you may learn to adapt to this.”

“But we just dove right in,” Luffa said.  “And we enjoyed it so much that we never stopped to consider it might have drawbacks.  Then before we knew it, we were over-relying on it... and barely speaking to each other.”

“It created a vicious cycle,” he said patiently.   “And you’ve been working together to break it.  I know it hasn’t been easy for either of you.  You’re used to using the mental link, and now you’re trying to repair your marriage without it.    It’s not unexpected that you’d backslide now and then, but it’s important that you share those expediences with me, so we can talk them out, defuse them before they have a chance to fester into resentment.”

“You’re right,” Luffa said.  “I didn’t think it was that big a deal, but I guess I just didn’t want to admit it.”

He turned to Zatte.  “Zatte, did were there any stray thoughts you picked up from Luffa that have been troubling you?”

“No,” she said quickly.  “I mean, it’s not... Well, it’s bedroom stuff.  We don’t have to talk about it here.”

“Like hell,” Luffa said.  Despite her insistence, her cheeks and ears were beet red.  “We came here to talk, didn’t we?”

“Zatte, do you want to talk about it?” Dr. Shunga asked.

Zatte took a deep breath and nodded.

*******

[6 February 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]

Luffa’s star-yacht, the Emerald Eye, had been operating outside of Federation space for some time now, though no one knew why.  The Federation itself had been quite secure since Luffa had defeated the Shockmaster, and so the popular assumption was that she was seeking action and adventure in a more dangerous part of the galaxy.  In principle, this was correct, although the whole truth was that Luffa was trying to stay within a week’s travel from the Wrantool system, in order to keep appointments with her marriage counselor.

In between sessions, she kept an eye on subspace communications in the region, hoping to find something interesting to occupy her time, but the pickings would have been slim, even for a normal Saiyan.  So when the Nat-Chez system ceased all contact with the outside universe, Luffa was cautiously optimistic.  As the ship approached the planet, she waited in the cargo bay.  The ship would then enter the upper atmosphere, and she would open the bay door and launch herself headlong into the situation.

“ETA is ten minutes,” Zatte’s voice said through the earpiece communicator Luffa wore.  “You sure this is a good idea?  You might be flying into a plague for all we know.”

“I can sense the planet’s ki from here,” Luffa said.  “They don’t seem sick or anything like that.  Anyway, I’ll steer clear of populated areas until I’ve had a chance to look around.”

“If it’s a hostile, you’ll be giving up the element of surprise,” Zatte said.  “Right now, they don’t know you’re coming, but that’ll change in a hurry once you fire up.”

Luffa adjusted her boots and began doing some last minute stretches.  “And that’ll flush them out, won’t it, Zattie?  They’ve got the stealth game covered.  Which suits me fine.  I’m more of a shock and awe kind of lady anyway.”

“You’re not mad, are you?”

“About what?”

“Our last session with Dr. Shunga.  When we he asked how long it had been since we...”

“I remember.  I was there.”

“I thought you were gonna kill him on the spot.”

“I thought about it, yeah.  I did a number on his chair, sure.  But he’s trying to help us out.  He’s a good guy.    I just have to keep telling myself that.”

“I know it’s tough for you.”

“What’s ’tough’ is how you keep treating me like I’m made of glass,” Luffa muttered.  “Like I’ll shatter if you aren’t there to protect me from a few personal questions about our sex life.”

“You there Luffa?    I didn’t copy that.”

This was because Luffa  had taken the earpiece out and muffled its receiver in her hand.  Now that she had popped it back in, she replied: “Sorry, I was checking something out.  Anything new on the ship’s sensors?”

“Nothing.  No transmissions from the planet, and all air and spacecraft are grounded.  Plenty of life signs, though.”

“It’s gotta be an alien takeover,” Luffa said.  “I’ll have this wrapped up by dinnertime.  You want rolls or biscuits tonight?”

Zatte didn’t reply.

“Zattie?  You there?”

“Sorry.  I thought I had a blip on the sensors, but it was nothing.”

“Yeah, right.  I’ll just fix salad then.”

“Fine,” Zatte said.

“Okay,” Luffa said.

“Make whatever you want,” Zatte said.

“I will,” Luffa said.

“Are we fighting right now?” Zatte asked.

“I don’t know,” Luffa said.  “Look, are we over the drop point yet?  I’d like to get on with this.”

“Um, we passed it,” Zatte said after an awkward pause.  “I’ll have to turn the ship around and make another flyby.”

With a groan, Luffa sat down on the deck and covered her face with her hands.

*******

Once Luffa finally arrived on the surface, she encountered a few of the locals on a dirt trail that wound along a forest.  The Chezzi were humanoid in appearance, with various shades of orange and red skin, and horns atop their heads instead of hair.  It didn’t take long for her to figure out who had taken control of their planet.

“Spare us, Madame Saiyan!” one of them pleaded.  He dropped to his knees and clasped his hands together in supplication.    “Your humble servants only broke curfew because we need medicine in the next town.”

“He speaks the truth!” said another.  She was a Chezzi female, not much older than Luffa.  “My son has contracted horn-rot, and our village doctor lacks the horn-root needed to prepare a cure!    These two only came along because it was dangerous to travel alone on foot!  If you must take one of us into bondage, then let it be me!”

“No way, take me!” said a small boy.  “Choco’s my best pal, and I won’t go back an’ tell him I stood by an’ let his mom get nabbed by the Saiyans!”

“All right, everybody shut up,” Luffa said.  “I’m not here to enforce some dumb curfew.   I came here to liberate your planet.”

The old man was relieved.  “Then... you aren’t working with the Saiyans who conquered us?”

Luffa turned and spat on the ground.  “That’s what I think of your conquerors.  Tell me how to find them, and I’ll be happy to... discuss it with them.”

She began cracking her knuckles while the three villagers exchanged confused looks.  The old man opened his mouth to speak, but the woman quickly shushed him.

“Don’t!” she warned him.  “What if they sent her to test our loyalty?”

Before Luffa could reassure her, the boy spoke up.  “Aw, you worry too much, Tocco.  Besides, everybody already knows the Saiyans all live in Fort Luffa.”

Luffa was dumbfounded.  “Fort... what?”

*******

“Fort Luffa” was a Chezzi mansion originally owned by one of the richest men on the planet.  It had been located in a picturesque valley, before the Saiyans uprooted the entire building and carried it to a wasteland thousands of miles away.  The remoteness and inhospitable climate provided a natural defense against most would-be intruders, but Luffa was just at home in such a place as the mansion’s occupants.  While she had the power to destroy the lot of them from the air, she decided to take a more personal approach.    Landing just outside the mansion’s walls, she kicked in the front door and walked inside.

The first person she saw was a Saiyan man, tall and lean, with styling gel in his hair and on the fur of his tail.

“Well hello,” he cooed, raising an eyebrow as he looked Luffa over from head to toe.  “Zaperc didn’t tell me about any new recruit.  Maybe he afraid I’d sweep you off your feet, and leave you too distracted to listen to his— OOF!”

Luffa drove her fist into his abdomen, and when she pulled back her hand he collapsed into a whimpering heap.  She considered questioning him, but decided he wasn’t worth the effort.

The second obstacle she encountered was a woman, easily a foot taller than Luffa and with very well-defined musculature.  Luffa couldn’t help but admire the woman’s appearance--her biceps were almost as big around as Luffa’s calves--but this attraction was overshadowed by how sloppy her technique was.  Luffa had seized her in a hammerlock before the woman realized she was an intruder.  With a small fraction of her full power, Luffa drove the larger woman down to the floor, released the hold, and then sent a small charge of ki energy through her hand into the base of the woman’s skull, knocking her unconscious.

Minutes later, someone finally sounded an alarm, but Luffa had already forced one of them to take her to their leader.  A couple of other Saiyans tried to stop her, but she swatted them aside like flies, even while she kept her escort trapped in a headlock.

“Z-zaperc’s right through that door!” the young man gasped as he struggled in vain against Luffa’s grip.

“Good,” she said.  “After you.”

Before he could ask what she meant, she shifted her grip and tossed him through the door like a heap of trash.  Inside, Zaperc was dictating notes to a young Chezzi woman with a pad and paper.

“Eh?  Brockle?  What’s gotten into you, boy?  And who is this?”

Brockle tried to get to his feet, but Luffa kicked him before he could make it to his knees.  “An intruder, father!” he cried.  “I tried to stop her, but—“

“You’re the one in charge?” Luffa asked.  “You run a sloppy outfit, Zaperc.  Took them too long to sound an alarm, and you can’t even hear it from this room.”  She pointed her thumb at the Chezzi woman.  “Or was this girl your secret weapon to stop intruders?”

Unlike the man she met at the door, Zaperc looked Luffa over for purely tactical reasons.   He quickly decided that he was outmatched, and held out his hands in a submissive gesture.  “Er, welcome, sister!” he said.  “I don’t know what business you have with us, but I can tell from your immense power that you must be a student of Luffa’s just as we are.”

“Student?” Luffa asked.  “What are you babbling about?”

“Why, the Legendary Super Saiyan, of course.  Everything we’ve done here is an effort to put his teachings into practice.”

“Is that so?” Luffa scoffed.  “His teachings?   He told you to take over this planet?  You don’t know a damn thing about the Super Saiyan, old man.”

“And what do you know?” Zaperc demanded.  “Have a care, young one.  You may be strong, but I’ve studied Luffa’s career very carefully and—“

She threw her head back and transformed.  Her short, black hair suddenly glowed bright yellow, and her eyes turned green.  Around her body, her aura flashed and churned the air around her, causing the loose fabric of her yellow pants to ripple and flap.

Zaperc took all of this in, and after he looked her over one more time, he presented his reaction with a single word.

“Oh.”

[6 February 234 Before Age.  Rumrumyunsun.]

Okartish was dead.  Yarrow examined the corpse of his comrade to find out what had killed him, but there seemed to be no immediate answer.  He reached out with his senses, seeking an enemy life force strong enough to slay a Saiyan warrior, but found none.  Rumrumyunsun was a planet of weaklings, with nothing to offer the two Saiyans but a place to refuel their starship on their way to the brothels of Planet Be’er.  A warrior strong enough to kill Okartish would have stuck out like a sore thumb.

Yarrow helped himself to the unfinished meal Okartish had ordered, and stroked his thick beard in contemplation.  Perhaps this was for the best.  Okartish had his uses, but apparently he was even weaker than Yarrow had suspected.  He had come to his hotel room to renegotiate their splitting of the profits for their next raid.  Okartish wanted to keep things fifty-fifty, but this implied that Okartish did at least fifty percent of the pillaging, which he did not.

“Real shame, buddy,” Yarrow said aloud as he bent over to pat Okartish on the cheek.  “I was gonna be generous, offer to split things sixty-seven/thirty-three.  But I guess one hundred/zero is a lot easier all around, hey?  I never was much good at math.”

It bothered him to leave loose ends, but he saw no point in sticking around to find the killer.  Okartish had died without a fight, suggesting some sort of trickery, and Yarrow had no interest in playing with tricksters.  There was that so-called “Super Saiyan”, and rumor had it that he could have killed someone like Okartish with a flick of the wrist, but Yarrow didn’t put much stock in rumors.  Besides, the Super Saiyan was supposed to be in a completely different sector these days.  And if someone that strong really existed, Yarrow wanted no part of him.

So Yarrow took one last piece of meat from the room service tray, and headed for the door, turning his back on the closest thing he had ever had to a friend.  He planned to check out of the hotel immediately, return to his ship, and leave Rumrumyunsun as soon as possible.

But then he saw a woman emerging from the lavatory.  Yarrow wondered how she got in without him noticing.  He had neglected to turn on the lights when he had entered the room, but only because the street lamps outside provided enough illumination through the window.

Then he realized that he couldn’t sense any ki from the woman.

“Who the hell are you?” he demanded.  “And what did you do to him?”

She giggled and lolled her head to one side.   “I killed him, silly,” she said in a mocking voice.

“Why?”  Yarrow wasn’t sure why he was asking.  His best guess was that Okartish had made a powerful enemy somewhere along the way, and this woman was here to take revenge.  He wanted to know if that vendetta included Yarrow by association.

But the woman simply raised her arm and pointed at Yarrow accusingly.  “He was a Saiyan,” she said.  “That’s reason enough to kill him, isn’t it?  And reason enough to kill you.”

As soon as she said it, Yarrow went on the offensive.  With a single swipe of his hand, he tossed a ki blast at her chest, then grabbed her by the throat.  As the destructive energy ripped through her vital organs, he crushed her windpipe, then snapped her cervical vertebrae.  As he released her, the energy blast exited through her back and scorched the door to the hotel room.

And just like that, Okartish’s killer was dead before she hit the floor.

“Idiot,” Yarrow muttered.  He waited a moment, concerned that she had somehow survived his assault, and this was all some elaborate ruse she used to kill her victims.  But after fifteen minutes he decided that he was merely being paranoid.  If this woman really had killed Okartish, then she had been incredibly lucky, or he had been an exceptional fool.  They deserved one another.

And so Yarrow stepped over her corpse and left the room, never giving either of them another thought.

It would be his last mistake.