*feels one (1) emotion**dissociation mode on*

When everyone thinks you're dealing but in reality you're just dissociating lol

tfw when u think of a good Relatable post about dissociation but then u forget it

*dissociates in shower* *almost drowns*

Tfw am i dissociating or actually fine with the situation

My sense of time is so fucked. The things I remember from five years ago feel as real as something that happened five months ago. It’s hard for me to like... properly abstract people? Like I either think of them in terms of 2D stereotypes or I think of them in terms of complex emotions and behaviors that’s really just a snapshot of how they were the last time I saw them. It’s almost impossible for me to conceptualize people’s growth unless it’s demarcated by notable events, which it rarely is. Like I tend to forget how fucked my brain’s attempts at objectivity are because for the most part I can just drift through life without the little boat that is my brain being rocked too hard. During times when I’m really depressed, I’m usually pretty conscious about not projecting any objectivity when I talk about the past/present, because I’m more aware that I’m the world’s most unreliable narrator. Then there’s times when I’m better and I forget that. I try and compare my reality to others’ reality to prove a point, win an argument or just for fun. And the smallest of those waves, the tiniest bit of resistance, is enough to shatter everything. You’re right, I don’t know what I’m talking about. I literally can’t remember. That thing from three years ago isn’t relevant anymore? Could have fooled me, because the conversation I had last week feels about as real as that so it must be true. It’s just so hard to not be able to stand up for anything or anyone, especially myself. I’m so used to everything being a debate that I forget I’m not on the same stage as everyone else. I’m not on solid ground, I’m on a floating boat. And just because I got my sea legs doesn’t mean the boat isn’t still rocking.