#doogan

The Polterpup gives no indication that they heard him. Then, without warning, they leap the remaining distance to the second story landing. The air ripples around the spectral canine, and they vanish before they even touch the floor.

Now, disappearing from the visible spectrum is not exactly an unusual thing for spirits—especially Pepper—but Luigi knows magic-based shenanigans when he sees it. The Polterpup didn’t turn invisible, they were forcibly displaced.

The spirit canine had passed through a portal.

Luigi swears under his breath. He doesn’t have the tools to determine the nature of the portal—where it leads, if it is a one-way trip—and he doesn’t have the time to retrieve them. Still, it would be foolish to proceed without at least informing the professor of the situation. Luigi pulls out his battered phone and sends E. Gadd a quick update (as well as a silent thanks for “hero-proofing” the device). With that done, the plumber cautiously ascends the remaining steps. He hesitates at the landing.

He steps forward.

A fragile veil shatters like glass, and a thick miasma crashes into him like a wave. It’s as if Luigi had walked out into a blizzard after spending hours in a sauna. The air practically vibrates with negative energy, and the pressure is borderline suffocating. Luigi braces himself against a wall as he takes a moment to catch his breath and adjust to the staggering change in atmosphere.

And he thought the first floor had been bad.

Luigi has dealt with his fair share of dark entities in the past, but he can’t recall a ghost with this kind of power. Spirits, yes, but they didn’t usually exude such… malice. Not even King Boo. As difficult as it is for Luigi to admit, the spectral monarch isn’t necessarily evil. An egomaniacal jerk, certainly, but not evil. This ghost? Well, the plumber understands now why Nolem had been so disturbed by it.

Luigi distantly wonders how his partner felt when he had first breached the delicate barrier. As a supernatural entity himself, it may not have been as harsh, but certainly disconcerting. The plumber shudders involuntarily at the thought of what the kid must have endured. They would have adapted to it by now, but paranormal miasmas like this are especially taxing if you lack any experience with them.

Luigi straightens and gives his head a clearing shake. He fully turns around, not surprised, but no less uneasy to find the stairs are gone. In its place is a wall. When he reaches out to touch it, he finds it is completely solid—the portal had been one-way after all. On a whim, Luigi retrieves his phone and attempts to contact the professor. There isn’t the faintest signal. Luigi sighs, thankful that he had the foresight to contact his mentor before entering the unknown. He pockets the now useless device and begins making his way down the empty hallway.

There’s no turning back now.

Luigi silently takes in his surroundings as he goes. The walls are sparsely decorated with family photos and tasteful paintings. The jade-green wallpaper beneath them is minutely faded, but Luigi gets the impression that’s intentional. A plush, wine-red rug lies beneath his feet, narrowly concealing the worn floorboards below.

Luigi grimaces at the color-scheme. Definitely not to his taste, but he isn’t here to critique interior design.

The plumber pauses at an intersection in the hall, looking down each of the alternate paths with a frown. It’s unnervingly quiet, and there’s no visible abnormalities to indicate where the ghosts or wayward spirit hound may have gone.

Visible…

Luigi retrieves the Poltergust's wand from its holster and activates the Dark-Light. He aims the beam downward and sweeps it along the floor. Sure enough, a set of glowing paw prints shimmer into view, trailing down the adjacent hallway. With a silent cheer, Luigi follows Pepper's tracks.

The prints lead Luigi to the end of the hall and take a sharp left. Luigi silently follows, distantly noting that the trail has intermittent gaps near areas where the hallways branch off. Time passes. After turning what feels like the dozenth corner, Luigi finally stops—struck dumb by a new development.

The tracks are now pointing toward him.

Luigi frowns. He has been diligently following the paw prints, never straying from their path, and there’s no shift in the tracks to indicate Pepper had changed direction. So far, it’s been an oddly straight trail. The plumber turns in place and shines the Dark-Light down on the carpet behind him. He is further baffled to find the tracks abruptly end at the corner he had just rounded.

Luigi tears his eyes from the anomaly to properly inspect his surroundings. Now that he is paying closer attention, Luigi realizes that the hallway feels oddly familiar. The placement of the doors, the console table adorned with family photos, the painting of a lush meadow... he’s been here before. How had he gotten so turned around? It’s a large house, sure, but the plumber has navigated sprawling manors with little difficulty—this should be nothing in comparison.

Unless...

Dread settles in Luigi’s stomach as a theory pops into his mind. Without a word, Luigi returns the Poltergust’s wand to its holster and takes off down the hall. He turns left when it intersects with another hall, and again at the next corner. If he’s picturing the floorplan in his head correctly, he is currently in a hall that runs parallel to his starting point. Luigi turns right—

—and finds himself at the end of a very familiar hallway.

Luigi stares at the meadow painting with a neutral expression, but internally, he is screaming. The path he took should have led him away from here. It makes no logical sense that he ended up back where he started. But logic has no place here, Luigi realizes. Not where the paranormal are concerned.

There’s not a doubt in Luigi’s mind; the hallways have been enchanted. Specifically, where they intersect. Tracking Pepper is going to be next to impossible unless Luigi can establish a pattern.

He decides to first test the enchantment’s consistency. Will taking the same path yield the same results? The plumber dashes down the hall and turns left as he had before. He nearly trips when he winds up right where he came from.

Luigi glares at the meadow painting as if it had personally offended him. The drop-off points are indeed inconsistent. For clarity’s sake, he retraces his steps to see if it makes any impact. This time, Luigi ends up in a different hallway, one he doesn’t recognize. He can say this with confidence, because this one has an onion lying in the middle of the floor, and he would have certainly remembered passing that little oddity. 1

So much for finding a pattern.

Luigi distantly recalls a towering hotel and a floor ruled by a trio of ghostly magicians. How he traveled from room-to-nonsensical-room in search of the next elevator button. At one point, the triplets had placed an enchantment on the doorways, and the plumber found himself entering bathrooms instead of hallways, and stages instead of suites. There had seemed to be no rhyme or reason to where the doors led, but they had at least stayed consistent—the path remaining the same when he found himself backtracking.

Whatever spell this ghost is using is completely random. There's no puzzle for Luigi to solve, and that just makes things infinitely more difficult.

A familiar bark at his left quickly pulls Luigi from his silent musing. He whirls to the sound and is beyond relieved to find his canine companion sitting halfway down the adjacent passageway. Luigi moves to join them, but hesitates at the threshold of the intersecting halls, afraid he will be thrown into a new area should he dare cross. Seeing his hesitation, the Polterpup confidently trots up to the plumber and tugs on his pant leg until he crosses over the metaphorical line. Pepper releases their hold and dashes back down the hall with a bark of encouragement. The plumber casts a furtive glance over his shoulder, bemused.

Why hadn’t the enchantment worked that time?

Luigi quietly approaches Pepper, offering the latter a hushed reprimand for running off. His half-hearted scolding sputters out as he takes notice of what has captured the canine's attention. The pup is plopped before an innocuous, oak door. There aren’t any visible barriers, and the plumber doesn’t feel any malicious energy warning off potential intruders. While relieving, it doesn’t ease the trepidation settling in the plumber’s gut. He glances at the Polterpup; they don’t appear to be bothered by whatever lay on the other side of this door. Luigi cautiously grasps the handle, and when it offers no resistance, he opens the door.

The plumber isn’t sure what he expected to find on the other side—other than an angry ghost—but a cramped hall closet certainly wouldn’t have been his first guess. He is greeted by an assortment of coats, shoes, and—to his quiet amusement—a vacuum cleaner. Luigi quirks a brow at the bland discovery. Why did Pepper lead him to a closet? What was he supposed to find here?

Luigi reaches toward the wall of coats, intending to part them, when something suddenly lunges from the storage space’s depths.

“Take this, evil ghost!"

Luigi narrowly avoids being brained by a swinging clothes iron. When his attacker misses, their forward momentum sends them crashing to the floor in a heap. Luigi hastily steps back but pauses in his retreat as he takes in the ambusher’s appearance.

They’re a Doogan—an adolescent with russet fur and pale blue eyes. The longer patch of hair on their head is hidden by a baseball cap bearing a team mascot Luigi doesn’t recognize, presumably from the kid’s school.

Pepper curiously sniffs at the fallen teen. The Doogan scoots away with a startled yelp, holding the clothing iron up like a shield. “Stay back!” he barks. “I’m warning you!”

When Pepper ignores the threat and steps a little closer, the teenager thrusts his unconventional means of defense out to deflect them. Pepper, rather unimpressed, simply catches the ironing tool in his maw. The Doogan fumbles his hold in surprise. With a shake of Pepper’s head, the iron goes flying back into the closet.

The teen looks between his discarded weapon and the Polterpup with wide eyes. “What the—? Why didn’t it work?! I thought ghosts couldn’t stand iron!" 2

“Iron, as in the metal,” Luigi corrects, somewhat amused, “not the tool you use to get wrinkles out of clothes. Also, iron isn’t as effective as folklore makes it out to be.”

“Oh." The teen frowns to himself. “I knew I should have tried to whittle a stake instead."

“...where are you getting your paranormal information from?"

“The s/cryptids page on the ‘seenit’ forum. Those guys really seemed to know their stuff, so I, uh..." They trail off, looking up at the plumber with sudden recognition. “Star bits and pieces—you’re Luigi.” The teen smiles, laughing nervously. “Luigi’s in my house. I’m being rescued by one of the Mario Brothers. This is awesome."

Luigi can’t help but smile back, amused by the reaction. Mario faces star-struck gawping almost every day, but for Luigi, such encounters are still largely novel (he honestly doesn’t know how his brother handles it). “You must be Dane."

“Wha—Oh! Yeah, that’s me. Dane—Dane Pawper. Well, my parents named me Larry, so my full name is Larry Dane Pawper but who wants to go by Larry?" He blinks, suddenly looking embarrassed. “Sorry, I ramble when I’m nervous."

“No worries, I’m the same way." Luigi offers Dane his hand to help the teen up. They happily accept the offer, but grimace as they feel his damp glove.

“Hey, why are you all wet?” Dane asks, brow raised.

“I shower with my clothes on.”

That startles a laugh out of the teen, and Luigi is grateful they hadn’t been put off by his flat tone. Sometimes his sense of humor comes off as a touch derisive, even if it’s not his intention.

“No, but seriously, what happened?” The teen glances up and down the hall, as if searching for the cause of Luigi’s saturated state. “Did one of our pipes burst again?”

Luigi imperceptibly cringes, feeling a tad self-conscious. “A Blooper ghost threw your pool at me.”

“Oh...” Dane rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, looking anywhere but at Luigi. “I’m sorry. I... This is my fault. All these ghosts are here because of me," he mumbles. “I’m the one that read from the book."

Luigi’s brows rise marginally. Dane was the summoner? That certainly explains why the strongest ghost targeted him. “I don’t think it’s fair for you to take all the blame. From what Koojo told me, it was a group decision."

The Doogan’s eyes light up. “You talked to Koojo? Is he okay? What about the others?"

“He’s fine, they all are," Luigi assures. “They’re outside waiting with a friend while my partners and I handle the rest of these ghosts."

Dane’s shoulders sag with relief. “Thank the Stars," he sighs. Then, curiously, “Wait, partners? As in more than one? Is Mario here too?"

Luigi fights back a laugh. His brother is talented in many things, but for whatever reason, Mario flounders whenever he tries to wield the Poltergust.

“No, ghost hunting isn’t really his thing," he says mildly. “Pepper and Gooigi are my partners in crime tonight."

The teen perks, suddenly looking elated. “Dude! Same here!”

When Luigi gives him an odd look, Dane reaches into the pockets of his orange jacket and procures a pepper shaker and a pair of sunglasses with a large stylized ‘G’ printed on the arms. Luigi stares at the items with thinly veiled dismay.

“Good Grambi,” Luigi mumbles quietly, “The Boos back at the mansion would adore you.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Dare I ask why you have pepper in your pocket?”

“For protection,” the kid says like it’s obvious. “From demons!”

Luigi takes a deep, composing breath. “Remind me to make some book recommendations after we get out of here,” he says tiredly. “And to clarify, Pepper is my dog. Also, I said Gooigi, not the fashion brand.”

“Goo... igi...?” Dane repeats slowly. “Is that a portmanteau of ‘Goo’ and ‘Luigi’?”

Luigi offers a somewhat solemn nod.

“Uh... would this ‘Gooigi’ person happen to look like you if you were a lime-green fruit snack?”

“You’ve seen him?”

The teen suddenly looks embarrassed. “Yeah... I, uh, kinda ran away... from him...?” His voice lilts as if asking a question. At Luigi’s blank stare, he hurries to elaborate. “I didn’t know he was a good guy!”

“You just said he looks exactly like me.”

“Man, I don’t know! I thought he was some kind of evil shapeshifter the armored ghost summoned to try and trick me! When I first saw them, they were standing together all buddy-buddy, looking at that awful spell book.”

Luigi frowns to himself, unnerved by the revelation. Gooigi knows better than to attempt magic on his own. Luigi and the professor both were very clear in teaching him about the dangers of the arcane arts. What could have pushed Gooigi to ignore their warnings? And then there was the other matter...

“Armored ghost?” Luigi asks. Nolem had said Dane’s attacker was wearing a hood. He didn’t mention anything about armor…

“Yeah, it was a Koopa wearing old armor—really old armor—and he talked weird.” Dane begins to wring his hands nervously. “Anyway, your buddy tried to convince me he was there to help, but while I was distracted, the armored ghost snuck up behind me and grabbed me! Then it got really cold.” The kid shudders. “Next thing I know, I’m on the ground, and Gummy Man is reaching for me. I freaked out and ran past him, and then both of them started chasing me!” Dane frowns to himself. “I thought they were working together, but looking back, your buddy must have just been trying to stop the other guy...”

A dozen questions pop into the plumber’s mind. The first to leave his mouth is, undoubtedly, the least imperative.

“...Gummy Man?"

“I’m not very creative."

Maybe not, but Luigi is definitely going to tease his partner about this later. “What happened after that?”

“Magic hallway shenanigans,” Dane shrugs. “I turned a corner, and they were gone. I considered trying to find the stairs again, but I wasn’t about to risk another encounter with that armored jerk, so I hid in this closet instead. I’ve been here ever since.”

Luigi nods slowly to himself as he processes the teen’s words. When he doesn’t respond after a couple beats of silence, Dane regards him with apprehension.

“Hey, uh, you’re not mad at me, are you?” he asks timidly. “Cause I’m sorry about running from your friend—”

Luigi quickly shakes his head. “No! No, I’m not mad. Just... confused,” he brings a hand to his chin, but quickly aborts the move at the unpleasant feeling of his damp glove. “Your friend, Nolem, told me the ghost that came after you was wearing a hood, not armor.”

“Oh! No, he was right,” the Doogan nods emphatically, “The hooded ghost came after me first. The armored ghost didn’t start chasing me until after he fought the hooded guy.”

Luigi can feel a headache coming on. He’s been so focused on contending with the hooded entity that he completely forgot Koojo had said there were six ghosts. He sighs, resisting the urge to rub at his temples. “How about you start from the beginning? Right after the ghosts were summoned.”

“Uh... okay...” Dane scratches at the edge of his cap. “Well, we immediately knew something was off about the ghosts, but we—dumbly—tried to ask them questions anyway. They just... started laughing. Real creepy-like. All except for the armored and hooded ghost. I tried to read the spell that would dismiss them, but the hooded ghost swiped the book from me and then, boom! I’m suddenly pinned to the wall by magic.” The Doogan wiggles his fingers with emphasis. “All the other ghosts chased after my friends.” Dane pauses for a moment, looking uncertain. “Wait, no... not all the ghosts. The armored ghost stayed behind and started attacking hooded mcfreako. I think they were fighting over the spell book...”

Luigi winces imperceptibly. Whatever those dark entities wanted with the book, it couldn’t be good. “I take it the armored ghost won?”

“Not at first. The hooded ghost wasted no time in making use of that book. It did... something to the armored ghost—cast a spell on them, I think—and while our knight in rusted armor was recovering, it... called for back-up.”

...no. Oh please don’t let that mean what it implies.

“Dane,” Luigi says quietly, “How many ghosts are up here?”

“Including the hooded and armored ghost? Four.” 3

Luigi briefly closes his eyes, sighing heavily. It’s still less than ideal, but he was anticipating much worse. “Can you describe the other two ghosts?”

“Yeah. One of ‘em was a Clubba—shadowy, like the others—and the second ghost was... I don’t even know. They just kinda looked like a bad Halloween costume. Not very threatening. At. All.” The teen frowns suddenly, scratching their head. “Things sort of get fuzzy after that. If they summoned anything else, I don’t remember seeing it. I must have blacked out at some point, because one second everyone was fighting, and the next the hooded ghost was gone. Then the armored ghost had the book, and they were coming after me and I ran and somehow managed to lose them, but I couldn’t find the stairs because magic and then I saw your green friend with the armored ghost and got the world’s worst hug and freaked out and ran even more and—!”

“Whoa! Easy there, Dane. Deep breaths.”

“Sorry! Sorry, I know, I’m rambling again.” Dane takes an exaggerated breath and sighs. “Anyway, you know the rest from there. I ducked into this closet and... here we are.” He looks to Luigi, eyes imploring. “I don’t understand... Why are these ghosts so angry? All we wanted was for them to tell us our fortunes!”

Luigi stares back at the teen, utterly bewildered. “You summoned dark entities to tell you your fortune?”

“We didn’t know they were going to be evil ghosts! That’s not what the spell said!”

“What, exactly, was the spell?”

“…I don’t remember. Hold on, let me check.” Before Luigi can ask what they mean, Dane pulls a cellphone out of their pocket. “I took a picture of part of the page. It’s in a weird language, so I plugged part of the spell into Goomble translate. It says something about fortune telling ghosts.” The teen passes their phone to Luigi, who accepts it with raised brows.

“You have a signal up here?”

Dane shakes their head. “Nope. Not a single bar. But lucky for us, I had the foresight to do a screen cap on the results before we started the séance.” He frowns to himself. “Too bad I didn’t have the foresight not to read from the book in the first place.”

Luigi doesn’t deign to comment, too focused on scrutinizing the image on the Doogan’s phone. He vaguely recognizes the language, and though he is far from fluent, he can discern a few words and phrases. They, unfortunately, don’t line up with Goomble’s shoddy translation.

Luigi grimaces, looking rather pained. “Dane, this isn’t the correct translation.”

“Wait, Goomble translate is wrong?” Dane asks, eyes wide, “Since when does that happen?!”

Luigi isn’t sure if the kid is being sincere or facetious. Before he can decide whether to answer the question, Dane plows ahead with another one. “Well, what’s it say, then?”

“I can’t give you an exact translation, but I can promise you it’s not a spell to summon ghosts that tell your fortune.” Luigi pauses, looking more and more exhausted the longer he studies the image. “It summons ghosts that bring misfortune.”

Dane stares quietly back at the plumber. “…Someone at Goomble is getting fired.”

“I doubt it,” Luigi sighs, returning the teen’s phone. As an afterthought, he reaches into his pocket and procures a purple business card. He hands it to Dane. “Here, if you want to meet a real fortune telling ghost, I recommend Madame Clairvoya. She’s a bit… eccentric, but she won’t destroy your home or abduct your friends, so… there’s that.”

“I’m sold.” Dane flips the card, inspecting it. “Hey, why is this dry when you’re still all soggy?”

“I get all my business cards charmed by a stationary wizard.”

The teen blinks back at him.

“Yes,” Luigi says eventually, “that is a real thing.”

“Okay… why not get your clothes charmed, too?”

“Have you ever tried washing waterproof clothes?”

“…I see your point.”

A sudden growl startles the two mortals, drawing their attention to its source: the Polterpup. Pepper is staring down the hallway with utmost focus. Luigi follows their gaze. The hairs on the back of his neck rise.

At the end of the hall stands—err, floats—yet another Vitiate. They are a Koopa wearing armor from a time long passed. It reminds him of what the Koopatrol stationed at Bowser’s castle wear, only slightly more elaborate. They don’t appear to be carrying a weapon, but that offers little comfort; there, hovering at the entity’s side, is an old, worn book.

There’s no doubt about it, this must be the armored ghost Dane had told him about. But... where is Gooigi? Didn’t the kid say he was with the ghost when he last saw them?

‘They must not have appreciated Gooigi’s interference when they tried to capture the kid,’ Luigi thinks grimly. He sends a silent prayer to the Stars that his partner parted from the ghost in one piece.

“What’s with your dog?” Dane whispers, shielded from view by the open closet door. “Is there a ghost cat around here or something?”

Luigi shakes his head imperceptibly, not taking his eyes off the looming Vitiate. “We have company,” he quietly replies. “Get back in the closet. I’ll let you know when it’s safe to come out. Pepper? I want you to go with the kid.”

Dane looks like he’s about to protest, but seems to think better of it and squeezes back into the closet with a final uncertain glance at the plumber. Luigi looks down at Pepper. The Polterpup continues to stare down the hallway, seemingly ignoring him. It isn’t until Dane wordlessly beckons to Pepper that the canine finally moves. Luigi watches them slink away into the closet, bewildered. He shakes his head as he closes the door behind them. He could worry about Pepper’s strange behavior later.

Luigi has barely taken his hand away from the door when he detects movement from the Vitiate. He whirls around, poised to attack or defend, should he need to. Luigi tenses as the dark entity slowly stalks toward him. No... not stalks. The ghost’s movements don’t resemble that of a predator. They are being cautious, Luigi realizes. They are as wary of him as he is of them.

The armored Vitiate halts a few paces away and regards him quietly. Luigi finds himself mirroring their silent scrutiny. It takes him an embarrassingly long moment to register that the Vitiate’s eyes are glowing red instead of white. Now, usually red eyes are indicative of something sinister—something to be wary of—but that’s not necessarily the case when dealing with these types of ghosts. In life, this had been no run-of-the-mill Koopa—they had been a Dark Koopa. Dark species thrive in, well, darkness, and not just literally. Negative energy does not affect them the way it does other species. This carries on into the afterlife, shielding them from potential corruption.

In other words, they aren’t completely nuts. This makes peace-talks considerably more viable.

“R̸ets͢am̡ ̧s’̢melog ͜e͘m̛ilş ͘e̷ht e̢b ͠ts̷um ùoy̵.” 4

Luigi blinks. Or... maybe not.

The Dark Koopa nods to itself. “Yn̵n͠a͠c̸nų ́s̡i͏ ec͜na͢lb̨m͏e͞ser͘ eht͢ …se͡y. E͠ga͘ḿi͏ ͡rúo̸y ni ̢m̢e͡ḩt͘ ̨e̶d̡am ͘y͏l̷r͏a͞èlc ̵o͝uy̴.”

“Uh...” Luigi says intelligently, “What?”

“E͏c͠na̢ra̛ep̀pa͝ ͝ŕuoy ̕d̵n̷o̡y̢e̴b̷ ̕s̵e̸įt̕i̡ral͞imi̢s ͜e͡r͝a͢hs ͟uoy ́ta͟ht ̕ees̸ I...” the ghost sighs. “Evi͞tąr̛e͝p̢oo̢c͜ e̡r͢om ̨èb̛ ̛lļiw͢ ̢uoy epoh̸ ͏y̢lno ̴ņa͡c̢ I.”

When Dane had told Luigi that the armored ghost talked strangely, he had assumed that the entity spoke with an accent or another dialect—perhaps a different language altogether. But this... the ghost sounds like the time he and Mario had played one of their records in reverse to see if there really were secret messages hidden in the lyrics.

And the white knight is talking backwards...

…Backwards!

“That’s it!”

The armored Dark Koopa recoils slightly at his outburst, and Luigi is quick to placate them. “I think I have a way we can communicate. Hold on...” Luigi retrieves his phone and opens an audio recording application as the ghost watches on, perplexed. He holds the phone up, pointing the receiver toward the ghost. “If you speak into this, I can play it back in reverse and then I’ll be able to understand you!”

The Vitiate eyes his phone critically. They look back to Luigi, and even though he can’t see the entity’s face, Luigi gets the feeling they’re annoyed.

“Yr̀asse̢c̢e̴nn̸u ͘y̧l̷e͡r̷i͘tn̶e ̴s͏i͠ s͠ih̷t ͏t͞ub, ͝g͏n͟i͏k͏nih̵t reve͜lc ruo͏y ̛d͟nèmm͢o̸c̨ I̛,” they rumble. The ghost suddenly calls the floating spell book forth and opens it. They turn the open tome to Luigi and emphatically point to one of the passages. “Ka̕ęr̛b l͟l̴i̵w͝ ̵y͟aw ̀s͢ih͘t k̸a͞ep̛s͠ ͡o̢t̕ ̡em͟ ͡gnic̨r̢of ̢xeh̸ eh̶t̶ ͜d̴na͘ ,̀d͞uo͏ļa ͜s͏i͘ht ̸dae̵r͝.”

Luigi nearly trips backwards as the book is abruptly thrust in front of him. He can feel the blood drain from his face as he regards the book like one would a serpent poised to strike.

“Um...” he breathes shakily, “Magical books and I don’t really get along.” Luigi holds out the phone once more. “Look, I’m sure there’s a good reason you want me to perform magic, but I’d rather get a little context before I read from a book that was used to summon dark entities.”

The Vitiate growls angrily, but acquiesces despite their clear displeasure. Luigi breathes a sigh of relief as the spell book is called away from his personal space.

“Lĺe̕w͟ yr̷e̡v,” the ghost huffs. “Er͜u̧tan̷ ̛ỳm fo ͠ytįtne̢ na̕ ̀ni̶ ͏ht͝i̡af d͟ni̶ĺb eca͜lp̴ o̵t hsi̢lo̷of eb dlu̡o͡w ̨t̀i͠ es̴op̢p̡us ̸I̴. E̛t̷sa͟h ek̵a̛m t́ưb̶! ...tn̢emom͠ yn͘a ͜ta ̵rae̢pṕa ͞dl͡u̵o̸c̀ ͜ŗe͞ts͟a͢m ̢y̸m.”

Luigi doesn’t need to understand the Vitiate’s reply to pick up on their sense of urgency. He sets the phone to record audio and holds it up to the dark entity. “Okay, now tell me what spell you’re trying to get me to cast.”

“E͜sre̕ve͝r ͞ni ̴k̕a͞e̴ps ̢o̕t e̡m̕ ͜gn͜ic͢rof xeh͞ ́eḩt̶ ͡k͝a͢èr̨b̀ lliw ̀k̴oob ̨e̕ht͟ ́ņi ͘nóit̷at͝n͏a͢c͞ni ̵eh̕t. E͡ro̸m̀ g̸ni͟ht̕on͟.”

Luigi stops the recording and reverses the playback.

<< [“Nothing more. The incantation in the book will break the hex forcing me to speak in reverse.”] <<

Luigi hums thoughtfully. The two statements seemed to be out of order. Did the speech reversal go by sentence? How would the hex know where a statement begins and ends? Does the speaker have to already know what they’re going to say before they can talk?

Magic is weird. And complicated.

Luigi shrugs to himself. The plumber supposes he should be grateful that the hex’s reversal doesn’t go by word—that would make translation even *more *difficult. The audio still sounds a little off, but he at least can finally understand the ghost’s words. He starts a new recording. “Did you have my partner attempt to break the hex?”

“Kr͡ow t̴’n̢di̴d ti ̨os̸,̴ f͏fo saw̢ ̶n͡oit͞ai̶c̨n̴une͢ ̴şih͢ tu͘b, ͜s̢e̶y —” The Dark Koopa ghost stops suddenly, narrowing their eyes as they regard him. “...me̵l̀o̢g em̧ils ̡r͟uơy t̢em̵ I̵ wonk̵ ̴ųoy did͜ ̵w͘o̴h?”

<< [“How did you know I met your slime golem?”] << a pause << [“Yes, but his enunciation was off, so it didn’t work—”] <<

Luigi frowns marginally. Slime golem? That’s... an interesting way to describe his paranormal partner. “Dane, the kid that summoned you, told me he saw you two together. Speaking of which, where—”

“Hct̷e͟rw ͞t͢a͡ht ot͞ ne͘ko͏p̛s ͘e̡v͡’͟ùo͞y͜?!”

Luigi reels back, startled by the Vitiate’s ferocity. He wordlessly starts a new recording. “I... didn’t quite catch that, but I have a feeling your angry interruption has something to do with Dane?”

The ghost growls lowly. To Luigi’s growing unease, their head turns to the closet door just over his shoulder. “…écn̡e͝ser̸p͡ ̷ym̕ ̵d̢e͏cnuón̸n͘a t́i re͢tfa͡ m̵oo͏r ta͡h͠t͢ otn̛i͠ ͝ret̢s͟kc͝írt̷ ȩh̨t d̵e͘re̛h̨su ̶uo͏y.” The entity’s eyes narrow. “Eh͜ ͜t’͘n͜s͠i ̀,̴ereh̷t͝ ̕ni̸ g̨n͞id͘i͢h̀ ̕s’e̛h? D̨r̷awoç eht͝.”

Before Luigi can think to stop the recording and play it back, the subtle creak of a door hinge captures his attention. He pleads to the Stars that it’s Gooigi or another ghost exiting a nearby room, but his partner can’t open doors and somehow an angry specter seems too merciful in the given moment.

“Uh... Luigi? Did you call my name?” Luigi whips around at the voice, wide-eyed. Dane is peering at him from around the partially open closet door. “’Cuz I heard you say ‘Dane’, like, twice now.”

“Er̕a̷ ̸u̷o̶y ̡er̕ȩht!”

Luigi snaps his focus back to the Dark Koopa in time to see them conjure up an honest-to-stars battle axe. Their piercing red gaze is honed on the Doogan, and they look positively murderous. Luigi, perhaps foolishly, is quick to leap between them.

“Wait!” he shouts, hands raised, “I know you’re angry at the kid for bringing you here, but this isn’t the way to handle it!”

“Nam̕u̵h,̶ g̡nihto̡n ̶w͞onk̸ uoy͟!” The ghost snarls, cutting their hand through the air in a command to move. “Dl͡i̴h͏c ̶ęht́ re̛t̕f͜a ̷to͟n m̴’i̸! Ed͞is͢a p̕ȩt̶s̛, wo͠n̴!”

Too afraid to take his eyes off the furious entity, Luigi forgoes checking the audio and hastily stuffs his phone back into his pocket. Keeping one hand raised, he allows the other to drift back to hover over the Poltergust’s wand. “Hold on,” he pleads, “I’ll read from the spell book like you asked, and we can properly talk this out, okay?”

The ghost turns their gaze back to Dane. For a terrifying moment, it looks like they aren’t going to yield. Then, to Luigi’s relief (and no small amount of dread), the spell book is called forward once more. It opens as it comes to a stop in front of the plumber. A section of one of the pages brightens slightly with an ethereal glow.

“K̵c̕iuq́ eb̶.” Luigi looks up from the old tome. The ghost hasn’t taken their eyes off Dane. “Ŗeg͜no̸l tnemo̡m a̷ tiaw ͟t’́nt́s͜um͘ h͘tur̸t e̡h́t,̀ ͠e̶k̀a͏s̵ r̸ùoy͝ ̷r̡o͞f͢.”

“Luigi! What are you doing?!”

Luigi dares a glance over his shoulder at the trembling, partially hidden teen. “Kid, get back in the closet! Let me handle this.”

“But you can’t seriously be considering using that book, right?!” he cries. “After everything you’ve seen tonight?! That armored jerk is probably trying to trick you into summoning more ghosts!”

“Dane, I know you’re scared but—”

“U͡oy ̴tc͢a͜r̛t̢s̶ìd ͘ot g̛ni̧yr͡t ̛e͠ra’y̡eh̕t; d̨e͡èh͟ ̛on̛ ͢me͢ht̨ ya͘p.”

The armored Dark Koopa gestures urgently at the book. “Ec͝n̕ah͝c̡ a eváh ll̕it̴s̨ e͘w ̧e͏l̢i͞h͞w wǫn͠ ́xe̕h ͠eht̸ ͏k͟aer͢b!”

“I don’t know what that thing just said, but don’t listen to ‘em! What if that spell curses you or something?!”

“E̵t̡ąti͘seh ̴u͡oy od̀ ́y͞h͜w?! G̷n͢il̢l̨ats ͢e͜r̛a ͡y͝e͝h͢t t͘a̶ht͏ ͘e͏e͏s̸ ̕t̷on ͠u̡oỳ na̴c —!”

“Maybe it did something to Gooigi!”

“Ru͠ç ͝u̷o͜y̕,͘ ̀e̡cn̢e̕l̸ìs͡!”

Before Luigi can react, the dark entity hurls their axe over his head with a furious snarl. Dane shrieks as the weapon sails past the door, inches from his face. Another axe quickly forms in the Vitiate’s hand. Luigi doesn’t give the ghost a chance to correct their aim. With practiced motion, the Poltergust’s wand is quickly swiped from its holster, and Luigi takes a familiar stance as the Strobulb charges. The Vitiate registers his movement and looks to Luigi right as the Strobulb flashes.

The ghost reels back with a cry. Ordinarily, this would be the part where Luigi activates the Poltergust’s intake, but... he hesitates. The dark entity shields their eyes and darts backwards, putting distance between them. As they retreat, the Vitiate blindly throws their axe in Dane’s approximate direction. It falls short of its target by a large margin, but the attempt is enough to scare the kid out of hiding.

“See?!” he shouts, scrambling to Luigi’s side, “That creep tried to kill me! I knew we couldn’t trust it!”

A white blur dashes from the closet, cutting off any retort Luigi may have had to Dane’s proclamation. It shoots past him and snatches the spell book, still floating before him, out of the air.

“Pepper?!” Luigi yelps, “What are you—?”

The Polterpup darts back the way he came before Luigi can finish. But instead of returning to the closet, the ghostly canine sprints to another door across the hall and barrels through it.

“Yeah! Pepper’s got the right idea!” Dane cheers, “Let’s split!”

A furious cry pulls both of their attention back to the Vitiate. They watch as a line of spear constructs materialize in front of the Dark Koopa. With a wave of the ghost’s hand, the spears align themselves so that their points are trained on the Doogan. Luigi takes note that the ghost has deigned to lower the visor of their helmet, rendering the Strobulb useless.

“...we’re boned,” Dane squeaks.

The Vitiate reels their hand back and quickly thrusts it forward, the spear constructs following suit. Dane takes off down the hall with a panicked scream, and Luigi quickly leaps between him and the oncoming attack. At the last possible moment, he activates the Burst function of the Poltergust. The constructs are blown away by the powerful gust. Before the Dark Koopa can summon more, Luigi levels a Suction Shot at their visor and fires. It hits its mark, sticking to the face plate and obscuring the ghost’s vision. As the latter struggles to remove the hinderance, Luigi turns to address his charge, only to find that the kid has already fled into the room where Pepper disappeared.

“Stars give me strength,” he mutters.

Fighting the urge to tear his hair out, Luigi quickly dashes through the open door and slams it shut behind him. The room he’s entered appears to be a bedroom, most likely for guests if the lack of personalization is anything to go by. Along the far wall are two large windows that overlook the side yard. Pepper paces beneath them, spell book still firmly clamped in his maw. Dane is standing in the middle of the room, staring at the plumber with wide eyes.

“What do we do now?” the teen asks, voice shaking. “We’re trapped.”

Luigi looks to the windows and back at Dane. “Do those windows open?”

Dane blinks slowly. “Uh... yeah, but—”

Luigi wordlessly passes the kid without waiting for him to finish. He hovers a hand over the glass of the nearest window, checking for traps. Finding none, he quickly flips the latches and, with slight difficulty, lifts the window open along its neglected tracks. There is a ledge below the window wide enough for them to stand on. He doesn’t immediately see an easy way to climb down, but it won’t prove to be a concern. He’ll have Pepper gently lower Dane to safety.

“Wait, you’re not seriously suggesting we climb out the window, are you?!”

“Not we,” he replies briskly, “you. I’m staying behind.”

“Huh?”

“I still have a job to do, and I need to get you somewhere safe,” Luigi nods to the window. “Climb out onto the ledge. You don’t have to worry about finding a way off the roof; Pepper will lower you down.”

“How can they—? Oh. Right. Ghost dog. They can float and stuff.” Dane steps over to the window, glancing back at the plumber. “Are you sure you’ll be okay on your own?”

“I’ll be fine.” Luigi takes a knee in front of the Polterpup and extends a hand. “Here, Pepper, give me the book and help out the kid, okay?”

Pepper stares blankly at his hand. Then, to Luigi’s growing shock and frustration, the ghostly canine backs up in a clear refusal.

“Pepper, buddy, this isn’t the time for a game of keep-away,” he says, desperately trying to keep a level head. “Please give me the book and—”

A startled yelp from the teen abruptly draws Luigi’s focus away from the Polterpup. He turns and finds that Dane is gone.

“Dane?!” Luigi frantically rushes to the window. Did the kid fall?!

Before he can reach the windowsill, Pepper leaps past him and through the opening, spell book in tow. But, just as the ghostly canine passes over the window’s ledge, a familiar shimmer envelopes them, and they disappear.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Luigi whispers in disbelief. Apparently, the ghosts had been prepared for this. And if there’s a portal attached to *this *window, it’s likely the other windows are enchanted as well.

So much for an easy escape.

The hairs at the back of Luigi’s neck abruptly stand on end. He whirls around and has to bite back a scream when he comes face-to-face with the Dark Koopa Vitiate. Before he can react, the entity seizes him by the straps of his overalls.

“L̸o̸of̡ ͘g̀ni̶n̶aȩm͞-͟ĺle̕w͏ u͘oy̸, dnah ̷s̛’̢r͝e̵t̸s͡a̧m̕ ̡y͡m o͞tni ͞t̡hg̸i̷r gni̸yal̸p̴ ̵e̶r̕’uo̷y!” the Vitiate hisses. “Dnat͡sr̨e͡ḑn̴ư ̡u̵òy͟ eka͏m òt̨ ́e̢va̡h͠ ̶tsuj̷ l̀l’i̵, ne͜t̸s̛i͝l̀ t’̴no͏w͡ ̡uoy f͝i.”

The ghost lunges forward with a snarl, and Luigi feels a sharp chill shoot down his spine as he is pushed out the window. The next thing he knows, he is falling. It’s a very short distance, but Luigi is unprepared for the sudden drop and lands in an awkward heap.

“Luigi! Oh, thank Jaydes! I thought the ghosts found a way to separate us.”

Luigi looks up to find a very relieved Dane hovering over him. The teen smiles and offers Luigi a hand. He blinks dumbly at the appendage before slowly accepting the kid’s help.

“Thanks.” Luigi inspects his surroundings as he’s pulled to his feet. He’s dismayed to find they are back in one of the upstairs hallways. Fortunately, it’s not one occupied by an angry ghost.

But... why didn’t the Vitiate come through the portal as well?

“Well..." Dane says, breaking through Luigi’s stupor, “So much for that window of opportunity, eh?”

Luigi briefly closes his eyes and takes a deep, composing breath. He doesn’t know if that was an intended pun, but he refuses to comment on it either way.

“I should have known it wouldn’t be that simple,” he admits tiredly. “It rarely is.”

“In all fairness, I don’t know how you could have foreseen that our guest bedroom window would dump us out through a painting.”

At Luigi’s quizzical look, the teen points at a spot over his shoulder. He turns and is further exasperated when he spies the painting of the meadow.

“Actually, you’d be surprised how often I deal with painting portals in my line of work.” Luigi tentatively taps the canvas. Like with the staircase, it appears to be a one-way trip.

“Oh.” Dane eyes the painting with furrowed brows. “Do ghosts really like art or something?”

“…or something.” Luigi unconsciously frowns at the meadow painting. “Though I wouldn’t call it art.”

Dane says nothing. Luigi is suddenly uncomfortably aware that he had said that last part out loud. He cringes as he turns to find the teen staring at him. He begins to apologize, afraid that he may have offended them, when Dane cuts him off.

“Do… do ghosts have a thing for doors, too?”

That’s when Luigi realizes that Dane isn’t looking at him, but past him, down the hall. He follows Dane’s line of sight and must do a double take. The walls of the once-familiar hallway are lined to the brim with identical doors. Looking over Dane’s shoulder reveals the same sight.

“Not to this degree,” he answers distantly. “Those weren’t there a moment ago, were they?”

It’s a rhetorical question, but the teen shakes their head, confirming his belief. Luigi tiredly massages his temples. Things were only getting more complicated.

“Apparently the ghosts did not appreciate our escape attempt. They’re going to do all they can to make it difficult to try again.”

“What do we do now?”

“We find my partner.” Luigi looks to the Polterpup. He is quietly relieved to find that during his brief absence, the dog had relinquished their hold on the spell book. “Pepper, can you pick up Gooigi’s scent?”

The spirit canine lowers their snout to the ground and paces up and down the hall. They return to Luigi, whining dejectedly.

“Looks like we’re doing this the hard way,” Luigi sighs. “We’re going to have to check all the rooms.”

Dane looks at the plumber with wide eyes. “You mean we have to go through every single door?”

“Fortunately, no—most of them are fakes—but it’s still going to be pretty tedious.”

“Yeesh, no kidding.” Dane strides across the hall. “It would probably go faster if we each took a wall. How about I get this side of the hall and you get the other?”

“Ah... I don’t think that’s wise. There’s no telling what spells may have been placed on these doors. You could get hurt.”

The Doogan waves a hand dismissively as he approaches one of the doors. “I’m just gonna take a peek, is all. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Dane grabs the brass knob before he can respond. Luigi lunges, hand out-stretched in warning.

“Wait! That one is a—!"

The door swings open upon contact, slamming the teen harshly against the wall and pinning them in place. Pepper rushes over and begins futilely scratching at the paranormal trap. Dane’s muffled screams shock the plumber into action. He hastily retrieves the Poltergust’s wand, aims the nozzle at the door’s center, and activates the Suction Shot. Luigi yanks on the rope with one sharp tug, pulling the door off its hinges and shattering it into pieces. Dane collapses to the ground with a miserable groan. He blearily peers up at Luigi.

“I walked right into that one, didn’t I?" he wheezes.

Luigi grimaces, offering the Doogan a hand up. “I find it’s best not to say things that can tempt fate."

Dane stands with Luigi’s help, eyeing the plumber curiously. “How did you know that door was a trap?”

“It’s... kind of a six sense I have.” 5 Luigi shrugs. “Look, I appreciate that you want to help, but in this case, it’s best if I’m the only one checking doors.”

Dane cringes, watching as the remains of the trap fade out of existence. “Hard lesson learned.”

“And,” Luigi continues, a tad sharply, “when I tell you to do something—or not to do something—I need you to listen. Do you understand?”

The Doogan straightens from their slouch, nodding at Luigi with wide eyes. “Oh. Yeah, no problem.”

“I’m serious,” he says firmly. “Your actions back there escalated a situation that may have been resolved peacefully had you stayed hidden like I told you.”

Dane shrinks in on himself at the plumber’s tone. “’m sorry...” he says, contrite.

Luigi sighs quietly. “Okay then.” He walks over to where Pepper had left the spell book and scoops it up. An alarmingly powerful urge to open the book washes over him. Luigi stares down at the cover, startled. Is this the book’s influence? Does everyone who touches it feel this way?

Maybe letting Pepper keep it isn’t such a bad idea...

“Hey, uh... I can carry that for you, if you want.”

Luigi tears his gaze away from the book and looks back at the kid. He hopes he doesn’t look as unnerved as he feels. “What?”

“You know, so you can have your hands free,” Dane mimes a boxer’s stance, “for beating up ghosts and stuff.”

A fistfight with a ghost would go rather poorly, Luigi thinks, but the teen has a point. He can’t sufficiently defend anyone with a book tucked under his arm. Still, the notion of handing over the spell book fills him with dread and an anger that doesn’t feel like his own. “Okay,” he says, “But you must promise me not to open the book unless I tell you too, understand?”

“Yes sir!” Dane offers a mock salute. “I read you loud and clear.”

Somehow this doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence, but Luigi relents. Every fiber of his being is screaming at him to keep the book, to open it—!

“Here.”

Dane accepts the tome with a nod and tucks it under an arm. Something desperately urges Luigi to take it back, but he quashes the command with placation. ‘It’s only temporary,’ he tells himself.

“You okay, man?”

Luigi gives himself a quick shake. Focus! “I’m fine,” he says, convincing no one. “Just... do you feel anything while holding that book?”

Dane frowns. He gives the old tome a thoughtful look. “Buyer’s remorse, mostly. Why, do you get weird vibes from it?”

Luigi mirrors his frown. “...among other things,” he says.

“Cryptic.”

Luigi shakes his head. “Never mind.” He quickly takes up the Poltergust’s wand and approaches the next door. “Let’s get started."

______________________________

Luigi: "The ghosts manifested these trap doors to make it more difficult to escape. They must be very cunning."

The ghosts: "Hey, you know what would be really funny—"

And so begins the second story shenanigans. I'm not super thrilled with how this chapter turned out, but it's also been rewritten to death, so I might just be tired of looking at the damn thing. Next chapter will be more fun (Gooigi's coming back y'all!).

Anyway, the final kid wasn't supposed to have as big of a roll as he ended up having, but my muse had other ideas. Please bear with me if you find him tiresome; things will start to (hopefully) make sense soon enough. ^^'

--

It's a surprise tool that will (not) help us later. ↩︎

When I first wrote this, I was going to have Luigi correct Dane by telling him that iron is a deterrent for faes, not ghosts, but when I was looking up different folklores for reference, I learned otherwise. Apparently, that's why a lot of older cemeteries are surrounded by iron wrought fences—it's to keep the ghosts contained. The more you know~  ↩︎

All the ghosts in this story are of established Mario-verse species/races. I'm clarifying this, because I want people to know it's possible to figure out the identities of the ghosts that have only been described so far. I've looked at this chapter so much at this point I honestly can't tell if I've made it too obvious or too vague... ↩︎

And now you know what the chapter summary was alluding to. I am. SO sorry for this. ^^' Fortunately, all key dialogue will be translated within the story. The rest is up to you. It's possible to read backwards, but if that's too tedious, you can paste the dialogue in the top text box here and it will reverse it for you. ↩︎

Luigi’s forehead meets his palm. “It’s highly advanced magic—one that normally requires a lot of discipline to execute without consequence—and yet you pulled it off with a hastily drawn magic circle and…” Luigi pauses, turning to look at the small object inside the circle. “Wait, what did you use as the vessel?”

Dane reaches forward and gingerly takes the small object from the magic circle. He holds it up proudly for the plumber to examine. Luigi is dismayed by what he sees.

It’s the kid’s pepper shaker.

“See, Luigi?” Dane says, “I told you pepper protects you from demons.”

Luigi can’t muster up the energy to correct the boy. Instead, he carefully accepts the pepper shaker, noting that the container appears to be made up of thick plastic. He takes some comfort in knowing that a careless fumble wouldn’t spell disaster, not like if the vessel had been glass or ceramic. Would opening the lid free the ghost, though? Stars, he hopes not.

“This… shouldn’t have worked,” Luigi mutters.

“If anyone else had made the attempt, it likely wouldn’t have.”

The group turns as one to the intruding party. The Koopa Vitiate is hovering a short distance away. Behind them lie piles upon piles of bones. Many of the skeletons are positioned as if they had collapsed mid-step. Not a spark of light shows in any of their darkened eye sockets. 1

Dane ducks behind Luigi with a startled yelp. Luigi slowly gets to his feet, eyeing the Dry Horde’s remains warily before looking back at the Vitiate. “What do you mean?” he asks.

“The child was the one to summon my former master. As such, they held power over him.”

Luigi inhales sharply. “The contract…”

Dane dares to peek out from his hiding spot. “Contract?”

“When you summon a spectral entity, they become bound to you by magic—a contract of sorts. You have power over them, meaning your will supersedes their own.”

The Doogan pointedly looks around the dreary dungeon. “Well, that creep clearly found a loophole, because I can promise you, I didn’t want any of this.”

“Powerful entities can resist the contract’s magic, to a point,” the knight supplies. “But if they are weakened enough…”

“Oh.” Dane frowns. “Is that why he wanted to kill me so badly?”

“No. You were never seen as a threat; just another energy source to drain—” the ghost sweeps a hand behind them, “—and another body to add to his collection.”

Dane stares at the mass of collapsed bones in horror. “Wait. Are you saying they’re—?”

“Over a millenia's worth of Merlich’s victims.”

The kid shakily runs a hand along his head, knocking his cap askew. “Good Grambi. I was almost one of them.”

“You would have been,” the ghost states bluntly, “if not for that wretch’s interest in the human.”

Luigi tenses as all eyes turn to him.

“Why do you always seem to attract the megalomaniacs?”

Luigi sighs heavily. “Must be my charming personality,” he grumbles. He looks at the Dark Koopa. “Thank you, for all your help. I hate to think how things would have turned out if you had not intervened.”

The Vitiate shakes their head. “Your gratitude is unnecessary. My motivations were not altruistic.” They gesture to Dane. “My contract to the boy superseded the one I had with my former master, allowing me to defy him for the first time in decades. The presence of you and your partner only complicated matters, even if it did eventually turn the tide in my favor.”

“Ouch. My ego.”

“If anyone is deserving of your gratitude,” the ghost continues, “it’s the chaos spirit. I wouldn’t have been able to return to the wizard’s domain without them.”

Dane stares at the ghost uncomprehendingly, but Luigi and Gooigi are already turning their focus to the Polterpup. Pepper is chewing on his hind leg, seemingly oblivious to the conversation.

“Okay,” Luigi sighs, “that’s the… I don’t know, fourth or fifth time I’ve heard someone call him that.” He looks back at the knight. “What in Stars’ name is a ‘chaos spirit’?”

“A spirit with chaotic traits.”

Luigi waits for them to elaborate. When they don’t, he narrows his eyes, annoyed. Was the ghost intentionally being obtuse? “Yeah, I think I could glean that from the name. Could you expound on that?”

The knight glances at the spirit in question. “I am not educated in that subject matter.”

Luigi frowns. He has a feeling the knight isn’t being entirely honest but decides not to press further (he can always ask the professor later if they know anything). The knight’s wording, however, takes him down a different train of thought. Speaking of uneducated…

“Dane… where did you get the idea for using sealing magic, again?”

The Doogan perks up, seemingly unbothered by the non sequitur. “Oh! I got it from Pepper.” He reaches over and pulls the Polterpup into what is likely meant to be a hug but looks more like a headlock. Pepper grunts mildly in displeasure, half-heartedly trying to wiggle free. “Smart, spooky puppy.”

Luigi and his partner exchange a bemused glance. “How, though? Did… did he… tell you or…?”

“Uh… not with words, no.” Dane releases Pepper—the latter chuffing as they give themselves a good shake—and picks up the spell book. “Shortly after you guys ran off to fight the wizard, Pepper came up to me and dropped the book in my lap. It was open to this page.” Dane points to the page in question. “I didn’t really pay it any mind at first, but he kept pawing at the book, and then he stuck his little snoot in my jacket pocket and pulled out the pepper shaker. I thought he was trying to be funny or something.

“That’s when I took a closer look at the pages. I didn’t really understand the writing, but there were some super helpful drawings that helped fill in the blanks.” Dane holds up the book so they can see the illustrations. “I figured you and your dog did stuff like this all the time, so I trusted him and gave it a shot.”

Luigi looks at Pepper. The Polterpup is now gnawing on his front left paw (does he have fleas? Can spirits get fleas??). He looks every bit the cute and clueless canine that Luigi knows and loves, but after tonight, the plumber finds himself questioning everything he knows about his ghostly companion.

‘I told you pepper protects you from demons.’

And as Luigi regards the Polterpup, he finds that there is more truth to that statement than any of them realize. Luigi leans down, and with the tiniest hint of hesitation, reaches out with his free hand to scritch behind what approximates the canine’s ears. “Thank you, Pepper,” he says softly.

Pepper leans into Luigi’s hand with a happy whine.

“Um…” Gooigi warbles, garnering his partner’s attention. “Not to cut this sweet moment short, but can we leave now? I kinda hate it here.”

Dane snorts in agreement as Luigi straightens with a sigh. There’s still a lot he doesn’t understand, but he’s starting to accept he won’t be finding the answers tonight. It’s time they left this dreary dungeon behind. “Sure, let’s go home.” He looks at the spell book, brows furrowing. “Though I don’t know where to begin looking for the right spell to take us there.”

“Does it have an index?”

“You needn’t waste time searching,” the knight interjects, “I know of the magic you seek and where it resides in the book…”

Luigi eyes the ghost warily. “…I’m sensing a ‘but’.”

“Hm. Perhaps you are more perceptive than I give you credit for.” The Dark Koopa raises a hand when Luigi’s eyes narrow marginally. “Be at ease. I will help you return to your dwelling. All I ask is that you sever my contract with the child first.”

Gooigi shrugs. “That seems fair.”

“And,” the ghost continues, pointing to the pepper shaker in Luigi’s hand, “you leave that with me.”

“…come again?”

“That wretch has been the bane of my existence for the past six centuries,” the Vitiate growls. “I will not risk them breaking free because of the carelessness of a nescient mortal. My strength is not in the arcane arts, but I know enough to keep them contained and hidden away.”

Luigi’s eyes trail down to the unconventional vessel. He had considered handing it over to Merlon to safeguard. The wizard was powerful and trustworthy, but he also lived in a highly populated area. If Merlich somehow breaches containment, it will not end well.

“Okay,” Luigi says at last, “it’s a deal.”

Gooigi double takes. “Are you sure that’s wise? Shouldn’t we give the vessel to the professor?”

Luigi stares at his partner blankly.

“…Stars above, you’re right; that’s a terrible idea.” He waves Luigi on. “Forget I said anything.”

Without another word, Luigi walks over to the Dark Koopa and carefully hands them the vessel. The ghost accepts it with equal care.

The ghost nods imperceptibly. “Very good,” They hold out their free hand toward Dane. “Now, let us sever the contract.”

Dane nervously hugs the spell book to his chest. “Um… that isn’t literal, is it? You don’t need to sever, like, an arm from my body or something, right?”

Luigi and the Vitiate give Dane a strange look. “Good Grambi, kid,” Luigi says, “Why would I agree to something that would hurt you?”

“I didn’t think you’d do it on purpose! Maybe you didn’t know that’s what it means to sever a contract!”

“I’ve witnessed plenty of contract terminations. I know what they entail.”

“Okay, well, what if they attack me afterwards?”

“I find you moderately irritating, child,” the dark entity rasps, “but I have no desire to harm you.”

“You threw an axe at my head!”

“I also buried one in your shoulder, and yet, you haven’t a scratch to show for it.”

“I—!” The Doogan blinks. “Don’t remember that.”

Luigi winces at the memory. “You were being possessed at the time,” he supplies.

The Vitiate nods. “You were never my target, child. I was after the vile creature pulling at your strings from within. My weapons operate on intent—they only harm what I want them to.”

“…Oh.” Dane looks down at the book and back to the ghost. “That’s cool. And convenient!”

“It sure is,” Gooigi says, patting the teen’s shoulder. He moves to join Luigi, turning to the kid and walking backward as he goes. “Now, let’s give the nice ghost a magic pink slip so we can leave.”

Dane hesitantly follows, moving so they are standing in front of the Vitiate. The ghost wordlessly holds out their free hand. Dane looks from the hand to Luigi, questioningly.

“Take their hand,” Luigi tells him, “and hold it firmly.”

Dane does as instructed. He shivers at the dark entity’s cold grip. “N-now what?”

“Slowly pull back until their hand slips from yours. Keep your arm extended.”

The Doogan and the ghost mirror the action. The moment their hands separate, a thin, glowing thread appears in their respective grip, held taut between them. Dane looks at the paranormal tether with wide eyes.

“Now,” Luigi continues, “let the thread go slack for a moment, and then quickly pull back as hard as you can until it breaks.”

Dane and the Dark Koopa once again mirror Luigi’s instructions. The glowing thread snaps cleanly between them. The teenager watches in awe as the thread fades from the visible spectrum.

“All done,” Gooigi says cheerfully.

Dane looks at the ectomorph in surprise. “Wait, that’s it?”

“Yep.”

The Doogan blinks owlishly. “Oh. I thought I’d have to recite an incantation.” He frowns. “Maybe perform some kind of complex ritual.”

Luigi shrugs. “Those are some ways to do it, but mutually severing a contract is much easier.”

“Huh. Neat.” Dane turns back to the ghost, looking somewhat sheepish. “Hey, uh, sorry again for all the trouble tonight. We all good?”

“Your heedless summoning inevitably led to my freedom. This more than atones for the tribulations you wrought.”

“…cool?”

The kid stumbles with a yelp as an unseen force pulls the spell book from its tucked position beneath his arm. The old tome comes to a stop in front of the ghost and opens. With a flick of the knight’s wrist, the old pages rapidly turn before settling just as quickly. Another wave of the hand, and the book abruptly turns and is thrust back into Dane’s arms.

“The spell and corresponding magic circle you need to return home is on the left page.” The knight turns and sweeps a hand toward the floor. Some of the debris from their fight with the wizard is swept aside, clearing a section of the floor just large enough to accommodate an appropriately sized magic circle. “Now, depart with haste. I have an army’s worth of remains to lay to rest.”

“Uh… you got any chalk we can use or…?”

“No.”

“Fantastic,” Dane grumbles, already scanning the ground for another makeshift drawing utensil. Gooigi joins the hunt, but just as Luigi offers his assistance, the Vitiate grabs him by the shoulder.

“A word, human?” Dane and Gooigi pause to look at the two curiously. “In private,” the ghost adds.

Luigi nods, warily following the Vitiate out of earshot. “Is there something I can help you with?”

The Vitiate whirls around, silencing Luigi with the intensity of their piercing red gaze. “What are you?” they hiss.

“…a plumber?”

The Dark Koopa lurches toward Luigi with a snarl. Luigi takes a startled step back, but otherwise holds his ground. Clearly, that had been the wrong answer.

“Do not play games with me, ‘human’,” the Dark Koopa growls. “Why do you continue to hide in this mortal form?”

Luigi gapes at the knight, utterly bewildered. “What in Stars’ name are you talking about?”

“Your energy betrays you. It has changed drastically since I last saw you in the child’s domain.” The knight looms closer. “You are no mere mortal.”

“I’m pretty sure I have a few bruised ribs that beg to differ,” Luigi retorts. “Would this have anything to do with me being a Star Child? Your former master seemed really thrilled about it.”

The knight shakes their head. “I’ve met other Star Children in the past, and their energy was not like yours.”

Luigi pinches his brow against an oncoming headache. “And what, pray tell, is my energy like?”

“A spirit.”

Luigi’s heart stutters in his chest. He looks up at the Vitiate, wide-eyed. The dark entity regards him curiously.

“…you truly don’t know, do you?”

“Wha—no!” Luigi sputters. “How would I?!”

The Dark Koopa folds their arms over their chest. “What did Merlich do to you before I arrived?”

“Aside from trying to monologue me to death? Palm-reading.” Luigi lifts the hand in question, casually inspecting it. He frowns. “Then he… forced eye-contact. It was like he was looking through me.”

“The eyes are the window into the soul.”

“So I’ve heard,” Luigi mumbles. “He apparently found something he wanted—some kind of energy—and… tried to take it.” Luigi decides to omit the wizard’s claim that the energy wasn’t even his to begin with.

The Dark Koopa hums thoughtfully. “I see…”

“That makes one of us. Mind sharing with the rest of the class?”

“It’s purely conjecture, but it stands to reason that the energy I’m sensing now and the energy Merlich attempted to siphon from you are one and the same. That wretch’s meddling must have stoked this energy from its dormancy.”

Luigi looks down at his hands, as if expecting to see this unknown energy. He chuckles briefly with a hint of hysteria. “Oh, that’s just wonderful.”

“Hardly,” the Vitiate retorts, unaware or uncaring of his sarcasm, “this kind of power is inevitably going to draw the wrong kind of attention, especially as it grows stronger. If you were truly a spirit, there would be little cause for concern—specters don’t usually attack stronger specters—but because you’re mortal…”

“…I’m seen as an easy target,” Luigi finishes.

“Indeed. Until you can fully utilize this power, you are at great risk.” The knight pauses, looking contemplative. “In the meantime, I leave you with this:”

There is a flash of orange light, and Luigi looks up in time for the entity to strike him in the chest with their armored palm. Luigi stumbles back a couple steps with a yelp. He regains his footing as an unknown rune glows fleetingly before him and winks out of existence. Luigi affixes the dark entity with a glare.

“Good Grambi, what was that for?!”

“Your protection.” The Vitiate replies, unapologetic. “I lack the skillset to help seal your energy, but I can disguise it—create a red herring, if you will.” They point at Luigi. “I have placed a powerful ward on your person. Spectral entities that detect it will arrive at the infinitely more logical conclusion that the ward is the source of the spirit energy, not you.” 2

Luigi blinks. “Oh. That’s… actually really helpful, thank you.”

The Dark Koopa dips their head marginally in acknowledgement. “It is but a temporary solution. The ward should last a few lunar cycles. Ideally, you will have found a way to rein in your energy by then.” The Vitiate looks past him and Luigi follows their gaze. They are looking at Pepper. The Polterpup is watching Dane and Gooigi as the two work to draw the magic circle. “You are fortunate to have that one’s favor. Keep them close; you’ll need their protection now more than ever.”

The cold buzz of energy indicative of a ghost’s presence suddenly vanishes from Luigi’s side. He turns and finds the knight is gone. Luigi frowns. Why do ghosts always insist on being so dramatic?

With a sigh, Luigi walks back to his group. Gooigi stands upon his approach and tosses him the shard of rock they’d been using to help draw the magic circle. Luigi catches it with a slight fumble.

“Where’d the Knight in Rusted Armor go?”

Luigi shrugs tiredly. “I’m not sure. They made a cryptic remark and left when I wasn’t looking.”

“Ah. So, the usual?”

“Yeah, the usual.”

Dane looks up from the spell book. “That’s normal for you guys?”

Luigi nods. “When a ghost makes their exit, it’s either quiet and mysterious, or with an angry howl—usually accompanied by a declaration of vengeance.”

“There’s no in-between. Well, unless they’re willfully crossing over to the other side, but that’s a whole different matter.”

“…huh. Who knew ghosts could be such big—”

“Careful,” Luigi interjects, “just because you can’t see a ghost, doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t around. They could still be observing us.”

Dane winces, casting a wary eye about the eerie room. “Good to know…”

The Doogan returns to replicating the magic circle shown in the spell book. Luigi takes over for Gooigi (drawing isn’t the easiest thing to do when your hands have the consistency of gelatin), and a few short minutes later, the magic circle is complete. Luigi double checks their work, and when he is satisfied that everything matches the drawing in the book, he calls everyone to stand in the circle. He blanches when the Polterpup trots up to him with a yellowed femur in their mouth. At some point, the spirit had wandered off and claimed a treat from the fallen horde. 3

“Pepper, no; put that back,” Luigi says tiredly. “We have bones at home.”

The Polterpup whines but acquiesces. With a huff and a toss of their head, the bone goes soaring back into the sizable pile of skeletal remains. Luigi shakes their head and turns to Dane. He holds out his hand for the spell book.

“I’ll take it from here,” he says.

Dane smiles wearily and passes him the book without protest. “Please do.”

For the first time that night, Luigi holds the old tome with a quiet heart and mind. There is no sense of urgency, no anger, nor dread. He merely regards the magic text with the caution and respect it is due. Luigi takes a composing breath. He thinks of the dusty attic where tonight’s tribulations began, and he begins to read. 4

______________________________

Professor E. Gadd is getting anxious.

Anxious, as in eager anticipation. Not anxious, as in worried, because the professor is not worried. Luigi has faced greater threats in the past—a slumber party crashed by angry ghosts is child’s play. Sure, these were stronger than your average ghosts. Yes, Vitiates are highly malevolent. And, okay, E. Gadd will admit that the children’s accounts were a touch concerning, but it was fine! Kids exaggerate when they’re scared. Luigi had just requested him to bring Gooigi as a precaution. Between the two of them, this hullabaloo will be taken care of in no time.

The professor glances at his watch—it’s a few minutes past the witching hour. What is taking the lad so long?

E. Gadd resists the urge to worriedly impatiently pace the yard. He settles on tapping his foot as a compromise. With a quiet huff, he folds his arms over his chest and casts his gaze over his anxious company. Luigi hadn’t talked to E. Gadd very long, but the old man learned enough to conclude that his Toad Assistants would be needed. Two are currently walking the perimeter of the sizeable home with a dark light and ectoplasm radar. After what appeared to be a Snifit Vitiate blasted through one of the walls and disappeared into the night, E. Gadd thought it wise to set up a patrol around the property. If the dark entity returned, or another tried to escape, there wasn’t much any of them could do about it, but at least now they wouldn’t be caught by surprise (though nothing could have prepared them for when a shrieking Duplighost with an axe in its back barreled out the front door and ran into the woods).

Two more assistants stand at the professor’s right, each shouldering a myriad of cleaning supplies. They very nearly left when they saw the damage to the outer wall, but the professor assuaged them with a promise to call in more help after Luigi finishes clearing out the house. Another Toad is currently on the phone with the owners of the property—who just so happened to be the parents of the remaining trapped youth. E. Gadd’s hearing isn’t the best these days, but even he can pick up the frantic voices on the other end of the line. Impressive, given that the Toad doesn’t have them on speaker phone.

E. Gadd silently thanks Luigi for banning him from interacting with mortal clients (even if he still disagrees with the plumber’s claim that he has “poor people skills”).

The professor looks over at his final Toad assistant. They are dealing with the slightly less enviable position of handling mortal clients in-person. Shortly after E. Gadd had arrived with his assistants, the one currently on the phone had taken it upon themself to notify the parents of the terrified youths (much to their horror). All but the missing Doogan’s parents have since arrived, and by the looks on some of the teenagers’ faces, they'd almost rather be dealing with angry ghosts (E. Gadd can’t blame them).

Presently, the parents are taking turns comforting/scolding their children and grilling the ever-patient Toad left to their mercy. The adults had at one point attempted to rope E. Gadd into the interrogation, but after the man strategically launched into a jargon-filled lecture about the paranormal, they quickly backed off. Despite what Luigi seems to think, E. Gadd can tell when no one wants to hear an old man ramble thank you very much.

A sharp beeping tone startles E. Gadd from his musings. He scrambles to retrieve the device making the sound, his pulse skyrocketing upon recognizing the alert—Luigi’s signal was back in range! E. Gadd quickly taps the notification on the screen of the glossy black pad. A radar fills the screen, and towards the top, a green dot representing the tracker on Luigi’s phone (it’s not creepy, it’s security!) appears. E. Gadd grins. Whatever spectral magic tomfoolery had blocked the signal has finally lifted. The lad had done it!

“Professor?” One of the Toads calls, “What is it? Have you heard from Luigi?”

Without looking up, E. Gadd lifts a finger in a silent gesture to wait. He can feel dozens of eyes on him as he brings up the video calling app and attempts to contact Luigi. It rings once, twice, three times. Half-way through the fourth, Luigi’s face appears on the screen.

“Luigi, my boy!” E. Gadd exclaims, “It’s so good to—” He squints, adjusting his glasses as he scrutinizes Luigi’s appearance. The lad looks tired and a little worse for wear. But also, “Why are you all wet?”

“I tripped and fell head-first into a toilet,” he replies dryly, “What do you think?”

E. Gadd frowns at the distant gurgling laughter that undoubtedly belongs to Gooigi. “Don’t you get smart with me, sonny-boy. I was getting wor—” he coughs, “—ready to call your brother in for back-up because you were taking too long.”

Luigi’s brows knit together in confusion. “What do you mean? It’s only been—” he looks up, presumably checking the time on the screen. His eyes widen. “…over three hours?”

“In a house this size, it should have only taken half that time,” the professor huffs. “Either these were some really tough ghosts, or I need to whip you back into shape!”

Luigi grimaces, avoiding eye contact. “Things got… a little complicated. It’s a long story.”

E. Gadd grumbles at the vague explanation. He’ll get the details later, for sure, but for now, the professor accepts the dismissal. “Hm. Well, I suppose all that matters is that you got the job done.” He leans in marginally. “…you did take care of all of the ghosts, right?”

Luigi closes his eyes, looking almost serene. “This house,” he whispers in a nasally voice, “is clean.”

Stars above, the lad is in worse shape than E. Gadd thought. “And the young feller? Are they alright?”

“After some therapy, maybe. But yeah, Dane’s still in one piece.” Luigi turns the camera so it is facing the kid in question. Like Luigi, they are also a little worse for wear, but at the very least they don’t look like they just crawled out of a dunk tank.

Dane stares back at the professor with wide eyes. “Whoa…” He looks up from the display, presumably at Luigi. “Is that the stationary wizard you mentioned earlier?”

E. Gadd squawks indignantly. More gurgling laughter bubbles through the speaker, overlapped with a weary sigh.

The video suddenly jolts, and now Gooigi is taking up the frame. “I’m okay, too,” he chirps, “Thanks for asking.” A chipper bark from the off-screen Polterpup seems to mirror the sentiment (how barking can sound sarcastic, E. Gadd can’t say).

“I was making my way down the list!” E. Gadd splutters. “Besides, I knew you’d be fine. Luigi’s the danger-prone one between the two of you.”

“Remind me not to use you as a reference if I make a career change,” Luigi grumbles.

“I make no promises. Now, you four get your keesters out here post-haste! There’s a lawn full of worrywarts waiting for you.”

The camera turns back to Luigi. He seems surprised. “You’re still on-site?”

“You betcha! I thought it would be a good opportunity to test the Virtual Boo’s successor—the Scree-U!”

One of the Toads on his right does a spit-take. They are drinking a blue liquid that looks suspiciously like the chemical used to clean windows. “The what?”

“Professor,” Luigi groans, “We can’t use that name. I told you this multiple times.”

“And I still don’t understand why not.”

“Because it sounds too much like…” Luigi gesticulates vaguely. “You know.”

“No. I don’t.”

Luigi sighs. “It’s not marketable. Just trust me on this.”

“You said the same thing about the last name I suggested,” E. Gadd huffs, “The Wii-Boo.”

“Huh, that one sounds okay,” the spit-taking Toad muses. “What’s wrong with Wii-Boo?”

E. Gadd waves a hand toward his assistant, giving Luigi a pointed look. The Doogan gasps from off-screen.

“Oh…” The teen says quietly. He sounds like he’s trying not to laugh. “I get it.”

Luigi gives the professor a pointed look of his own. E. Gadd scoffs. 5

“Listen,” Luigi says, “We can workshop names later. In the meantime, professor, why don’t you look up?”

E. Gadd frowns. “Look up what?”

Luigi rolls his eyes. The camera flips, and suddenly E. Gadd is no longer seeing his young protégé, but himself, looking down at the Scree-U. The professor snaps his head up with a start. Luigi, Gooigi, Pepper, and Dane are all standing on the front porch. Luigi puts his phone away and offers E. Gadd a little wave.

“Hey, professor.”

The remaining occupants on the lawn take notice of the new arrivals. With varying cheers and exclamations, the group of teenagers rush to greet their freshly rescued friend. Dane hops off the porch to meet them. The parents follow at a more subdued pace, watching in weary relief as their children pull the Doogan into a crushing embrace. Luigi and his partners quietly skirt around the group, not wanting to interrupt the little reunion. E. Gadd fumbles to put away the Scree-U and jogs over to meet them halfway.

“Glad you could finally join us,” E. Gadd says, huffing slightly from the brief exertion. “Though you could have warned this old man that you were leaving the house.”

Luigi quirks a brow. “Could you not tell from the background in the video that we were moving?”

The professor crosses his arms, looking unimpressed. “You mean like how you were able to tell that I was outside on someone’s lawn and not in my lab?”

“…he’s got you there,” Gooigi signs.

“That I do. And you, Luigi,” E. Gadd says, waggling a finger in the plumber’s face, “got a lot of explaining to do! Just what happened in there, hm?”

Luigi’s shoulders droop with a sigh. “Professor, I’m soaking wet, I smell like burnt calamari dipped in chlorine, and I’m tired. Can the debrief wait until after I’ve showered and gotten some sleep?”

E. Gadd frowns. He doesn’t like the idea of putting things off—recounting is best done when things are still fresh, after all—but the lad does look (and smell) rather awful. Perhaps he can give Luigi a break, just this once.

“…fine,” he acquiesces, “But you’re leaving the Poltergust with me, and I want you over at my lab first thing when you wake up, understood?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Luigi says, already shrugging off the Poltergust. He sets it on the grass by the professor and pauses a moment, as if deliberating, and then holds out an old spell book (presumably the one that started this mess). “Can I leave this with you as well? It’s only temporary; I’ll take it to Merlon after our meet-up at your lab.”

“Hm… I don’t see why not.” E. Gadd accepts the book with a light shrug. He could always scan the pages into The Witch’s database in the meantime. With his free hand, he shoos Luigi away. “Now go on home and get yourself cleaned up. I’ll wrap things up here.”

Luigi hesitates. He looks to Gooigi—a silent conversation seeming to pass between them (E. Gadd was always equal parts fascinated and annoyed when the duo communicated that way).

“I’ll tell him my side of the story up through the Clubba fight,” Gooigi signs to his partner, “You can take care of the rest.”

Luigi offers the ectomorph an appreciative nod before bidding him and the professor both goodbye. Pepper trots dutifully after the lad. Luigi pauses by their mortal clients to wish them well, and is quickly swarmed by the grateful youths, much to E. Gadd’s amusement.

The professor sets the spell book down by the Poltergust and claps his hands to get the Toads’ attention. “Alright, quit yer gawping! The house is clear and we’ve got work to do. Damage assessment and clean-up teams, hop to it!”

A scramble of squeaky shoes meets the professor’s ears as his assistants rush past him. When the last spotted head disappears through the front door, E. Gadd turns and strolls to the mailbox at the property’s edge. He stops next to it and claps sharply once more. “Construction team!”

Half a dozen spirits wearing yellow hardhats suddenly appear on the visible spectrum. The closest one to the professor—a Goob with oversized headgear—waves an arm wildly in the air like a student trying to get their teacher’s attention. “Present!” they yell loudly.

E. Gadd hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “I need a few of you to help the Toads with clean-up. The rest of you are on stand-by for repairs.”

The Goob offers him a mock salute. “You got it, boss!” They turn and wave to the rest of their team. A Hammer, a Boo, and another Goob split from the group and make their way to the house.

E. Gadd watches the trio as they give the large gathering of mortals a wide berth (rather considerate of them, given what the children have been through). The Boo suddenly slows, and turns toward the crowd, a befuddled look on their face. E. Gadd follows their gaze; they’re looking at Luigi. The man is talking to some of the parents, but E. Gadd (and the Boo, for that matter) are too far away to hear the conversation. Luigi makes a slow, deliberate gesture, and then with a flick of his wrist, a business card appears in his hand. With another flick, the singular card turns into several splayed out in a fan. Luigi’s audience ‘Ooo’ and clap lightly in amusement.

E. Gadd looks back to the Boo. They are squinting at Luigi, like he’s a puzzle they can’t quite work out. Yes, E. Gadd finds his protégé’s affinity for card tricks vexing at times (and it’s why he’s vowed never to play cards with the man), but he doesn’t see what the hubbub is about. Why would sleight of hand catch a Boo’s attention? Boos can literally turn things invisible—much more impressive, in the professor’s opinion. After a moment, the Boo bobs in their equivalent of a shrug—seemingly drawing the same conclusion—and follows their companions into the house.

Hmm… odd, but Boos are odd entities, so it checks out. There’s nothing to worry about.

Nothing at all.

______________________________

It’s nearly sunrise by the time Luigi flops into bed. He had merely sighed, resigned, when he noticed the blue greys of the lightening sky as he went to draw his bedroom curtains closed. It isn’t the first time Luigi went to sleep at dawn, and it certainly won’t be the last.

A freshly bathed Pepper (much to the pup’s chagrin) is curled up at the foot of the bed, content, just as they had been mere hours ago. Luigi—also freshly bathed—is back in his spot. If not for the bone-deep exhaustion and scattering of fresh bruises, he could be convinced that he’d been home all night; that nothing had happened.

That nothing had changed. 6

Luigi frowns marginally. He eases himself up and holds out a hand, palm-up. He calls upon his Thunderhand technique and it responds in kind. Tiny arcs of electricity dance between his fingers with a blue-white glow. He snuffs it out with a clench of his fist.

Luigi glances around the room, as if checking for a potential audience. No one else is here—he knows this—but after tonight, he’s feeling unusually on-edge. All the shadows feel a little bit darker, the walls, a little closer.

He takes a deep breath and returns his gaze to his hand. He unclenches it and stares at his palm, brow furrowing as he tries to recall how he accessed that… other power. It hadn’t been a conscious action. It had felt… different—strange. Not completely unnatural, but not second nature, either; not like the Thunderhand.

Luigi thinks about the three instances when the phlox-hued energy sprung forth. All Luigi remembers is the fear, no, the anger that he had felt when he first used it. The second time might have been in response to an adrenaline spike as he pulled away from the revenants. The third time, he had been desperate. His options for neutralizing the ghost had been so severely limited, that he had fully intended to utilize the Thunderhand, even at his own risk. That was when the strange energy made itself known—like it was… for lack of a better word, volunteering.

Luigi continues to study his hand as he replays those moments once more. Not so much as a spark appears in his palm. Whatever this energy is, it doesn’t seem to be very forthcoming outside instances of stress. Perhaps emotions play a part as well? The thought is troublesome. Luigi isn’t an expert in the arcane, but he has learned enough to know that fueling one’s magic with emotions is ill-advised. Negative emotions, in particular, can lead to corruption.

A quiet boof pulls Luigi from his thoughts. He looks up to find Pepper watching him, their tail wagging with slow uncertainty. Luigi offers the spectral canine what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “I’m okay, Pepper,” he says. “I just got a lot on my mind, is all.”

The Polterpup being one of them, but considering other events, the enigma that is Pepper is quite a bit further down on the list of concerns.

Pepper stares back at Luigi, almost appraisingly. Their gently wagging tail suddenly picks up speed as they turn their focus to something over the plumber’s shoulder. Luigi’s heartrate skyrockets, and he only just keeps from whirling around in panic. He follows Pepper’s gaze at a perfectly reasonable level of urgency. The object of Pepper’s attention happens to be Luigi’s nightstand—specifically, one of the drawers.

Luigi rolls his eyes good naturedly. “Oh, alright. I suppose I did imply I’d give you one when we got back…”

Luigi leans over and pulls out a drawer. He reaches inside and feigns to dig through its contents, as if struggling to find what he is looking for. The bed is practically shaking with Pepper’s joyous anticipation. With an exaggerated cry of triumph, Luigi draws back with his prize: a large femur (one that didn’t once belong to a sapient being). He offers it to the Polterpup.

“Here you go, buddy,” he says, “You’ve more than earned it.”

Pepper whole-heartedly agrees. With a happy bark, they snatch up the bone and drag it back to their corner of the bed. Luigi fondly shakes his head as the spectral canine begins to gnaw on their treat with vigor.

Luigi turns back to the nightstand and pushes the drawer closed. As he pulls back, his eyes land on the book he had been reading a handful of hours ago. It rests innocently on the nightstand right where he had left it. He distantly notes the bookmark poking out from its pages. The page marker advertises that Luigi isn’t even a third of the way through the modest novel—he started reading it weeks ago. His painfully slow progress would typically annoy him (though it has long since become his new norm), but after tonight, Luigi finds himself oddly uncaring. He silently reaches over the neglected novel and turns off the lamp, bathing the room in darkness.

Curling up with a good book was the furthest thing from his mind.

______________________________

And it's over! After five long years, we finally get closure. Thank you to everyone who's stuck around to see this to the end. Whether you've been here from the start or just arrived, you're all awesome! This is the first long-fic I've ever completed and it's a great feeling (even if it was never meant to be this lengthy lmao) .

...but this is only the beginning. Four years ago (I still can't believe it's been that long), I got an ask that inadvertently predicted a sub-plot to this series before I had even established the groundwork. This story is the very groundwork I alluded to. Our boy Luigi has got a strange new power and needs to get a handle on it. What shenanigans is he bound for? Only time will tell~

Next week I will post story extras in a separate entry, so keep a look out! After that, I'll be working on the next installment. If all goes accordingly, we'll get to see how Luigi and King Boo first established this strange little truce of theirs.

Until then!

__

1. So much for the vengeful, undead army. Looks like Merlich had been bluffing after all (but is it really that big of a shocker that he is a lying liar who lies?). In an earlier version of this chapter's outline, I was going to keep the Dry Horde kicking, only they wouldn't have been hostile towards Luigi and company now that Merbitch wasn't around to control them. I eventually came to the conclusion that letting the Horde "die" and move on would be a kinder fate.

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2. This well-meaning gesture may end up causing Luigi as much trouble as it saves him. King Boo certainly won't be happy to find this magic equivalent of a "Do Not Touch" sign on his arch-nemesis lol 

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3. This scene was also in the earlier draft where the horde "lives", but instead of just a femur, Pepper is dragging along a very distressed Dry Bones. It made for a funnier image and is something I lament losing in the final work.

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4. In the original draft, Luigi lets Dane perform the spell, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how irresponsible this would be (especially with how much emphasis I've placed on the volatility of teleportation magic). I ended up liking this version a lot more anyway. After all the tip-toeing around the spell book, Luigi is finally able to handle it without being plagued by horrible unease. It's good for our boy to have some positive interactions with magical texts.

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5. A joke isn't funny if you have to explain it blah blah blah whatever. In case it's not clear, "Scree-U" kinda sounds like "screw you" when said fast enough, and "Wii-Boo" kinda sounds like "weeaboo" (that one's more of a stretch but idc lol). ...oh god I just thought of a Boo character named WeeaBoo HELP 

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Gooigi drops his head against the door with a quiet splat. He gurgles in frustration. This isn’t a new struggle by any means, but it’s no less infuriating.

‘Dinosaurs can open doors, but I can’t,’ the ectomorph thinks sourly. ‘What does that say about me?’ 1

‘That was a movie, Gooigi,’ his inner Luigi retorts. ‘Stop comparing yourself to outdated fictional portrayals of prehistoric animals.’

‘It was accurate for the time!’

‘Gooigi, they weren’t even calling some of the dinosaurs by the right names.’

‘…still a good movie.’

Inner Luigi doesn’t argue.

Gooigi is considering tearing the door down anyway when he detects movement in his peripheral. He turns and is startled back into high alert when he spies a ghost emerging from a nearby room. They are looking down the other end of the hall, as if searching for something. Before Gooigi can decide whether to hide or launch a surprise attack, the entity turns and spots him.

The ghost appears to be a Koopa adorned in old armor, and their shadowy form betrays their nature as an entity that subsists on negative energy. They’re a Vitiate, like the others, and pose a great potential threat. But when Gooigi takes note of their eyes, he feels himself relaxing minutely—they're glowing red.

The ectomorph thinks back to one of the many mnemonic devices the professor had drilled into his head.

Glowing white, prepare to fight.

Glowing red, talk instead.

Or... something like that. Luigi had cautioned him not to accept the phrase as law—there were always exceptions.

With all this in mind, Gooigi offers the ghost a cheerful little wave. “Hello!" 2

The Vitiate tilts their head minutely at his garbled greeting. Then, cautiously, they glide down the hallway, coming to a stop a few arm lengths away. When they don’t immediately attack, Gooigi dares to feel hopeful. He might just be able to reach a peaceful agreement with this entity, too, and that’ll put him and Luigi at 2 – 0 in successful negotiations for this mission. Even if Luigi manages to placate the water ghost, he’ll still have a one-point lead. Not that anyone is keeping score, or anything.

“U͝ǫý e͟ra̷ ǫh́w͝? E̢v̢r̀es̷ ́u͞oy̴ ͟od r̢e͞tsa͟m t̀a̡h͏w?” 3

Gooigi stares blankly at the ghost. Perhaps this isn’t going to be as easy as he had hoped.

“Uh... what?"

The ghost has the gall to look annoyed. It’s not Gooigi’s fault that they were speaking gibberish!

“Et̕a͢ts ͝tn̶eŕr͡uc ym͞ ni͏,͏ e͢m ḑn͟a̕ts͞r̕e̶dn̷u ̨ot ̕uo͢y d̵et̶cep̶xe ev̶a̡h t͢’̡n͞ah̡s̶ ͘Į, esr͡uoc͡ f͘o.” The Vitiate murmurs, seemingly to themselves. “Ti͡a̸w nac͝ ̶śn̸oít͏cu̸do͢rtn̸i rep̧o͘rp, ͟re̷tt̴am̶ ̕on. E͝su fǫ eb͢ n͘a̵c ưoy̡ s͝pahre͡p os,͘ uo͘y͘ tu̶ob͠a ͏cigam͠ ̕s’̡ręts̵a̕m y͟m ́tcet̢èd́ t̕on o͡d͢ I.”

“…okay. Well, my name is Gooigi and, um..." Gooigi sighs, switching to his preferred method of communication. “Any chance you know sign language?”

The ghost reels back with a hiss, watching his hands with apprehension. “Gn͡i̢od ̨uoy e̶r͢a tàhw? Yrecr͟os fo ͡ȩp̧y̵t em̷o̧s s̛i̶ht̕ si?”

Gooigi takes a step back, holding his hands up in surrender. “Whoa! It's okay! This—" he slowly spells out his name as a demonstration, “—is how I talk."

The dark entity relaxes minutely. “Sd̴n̷ah̶ ͡ǹi kąe̴p̵s uoy͝?” they drift a little closer, “Ti͢ nees̡ r̨e͠v̢e ͠ev’̛i e̵mit ̡tsri̶f͢ ̧e̵h͠t̵ ̀s̶i síht tub, ńoita͞c̸i͏n͜um̧moc f̢o̵ mro̕f̡ ͟şi͢ht̛ ̕f̛o draeh ̶e͢v̸ah̶ ̸I.” The ghost looks down at their own hands. “S͢u̡o͠iru͟c. X͟e͟h s̵iht ̧yb ̶de͝tce̡ffa̷ èb̶ d̛l̷uow̨ ̷k͝a͞eps ̴dn͞a͝h ̛f̀i re͏d͝now̵ I̕...”

Gooigi is at a loss. This ghost doesn’t know sign language and they talk like a weirdo. At the very least, they seem to understand Gooigi when he speaks out loud, but talking isn’t exactly the ectomorph’s strong suit, and it takes a lot out of him, so... Yeah. Not the most ideal of situations.

Maybe the ghost knows charades?

“Tna̢v͘ele͘rri̴ s’͢t͢i eşop̶p̢úś I,” the ghost sighs. “Xe̛h͡ ̸s͘iht ͜ka͘e͟r͢b t͝o̴n͟na̵c kae̷ps̀ d̛nah͟. K̕roẃ ot̡ cig͟am sih̴t ̡rof yl̡b̸i͝dua ͡k̵ae͏ps̸ ̡ot ̨uoý deen͏ l͟ĺi͏w ̢I.”

Gooigi, more focused on figuring out a way to explain the concept of charades to a dark entity, almost misses them reaching for something. There’s a shift, movement, and a thick, well-worn tome drifts out from behind the armored Dark Koopa. Gooigi freezes, and a spike of unease surges through him. He can’t say for sure, not knowing exactly what it looks like, but the ectomorph is willing to bet this is the spell book Luigi had told him about—the one the kids had used to summon all these ghosts. There’s no telling what other dangerous spells this book might contain. Does the Vitiate intend to use it on him?

To Gooigi’s relief, and growing confusion, the Vitiate doesn’t begin flipping through the pages in search of a deadly incantation. Instead, they open the book, turn it, and gently nudge it toward the ectomorph. The book drifts to a stop before him, just close enough that he can make out the words on the pages. Gooigi doesn’t dare attempt to grab the tome; he and paper don’t get along, either.

Gooigi looks from the open tome to the expectant gaze of the armored Koopa. “You... want me to read?" he asks.

The ghost nods. They point to a passage on one of the pages, and the words begin to glow softly. Wow, they even highlighted it for him. How thoughtful.

“Why?"

The Vitiate’s eyes narrow at him. Gooigi attempts to mirror their glare with admirable effort. It was a fair question!

His ghostly companion finally relents (no one beats Gooigi in a stare-down). They tilt their head back and point at their throat. “Yaw ͏s̢i̡ht̴ k̡a͞e͏ps ot̡ ̕em͏ ͜gnicr̕o͏f̷ xe̷h e̡ht͞ ̴kae̛rb ͜ll̨iw͟ llep̢s̀ eht͞.”

Gooigi hums thoughtfully. Either the ghost has a sore throat, or this has something to do with the weird way they talked. The ectomorph is going to go out on a limb and assume the dark entity wouldn’t invoke magic for something that could easily be fixed with a cough drop.

He stares down at the spell book and its highlighted passage. Luigi and the professor said that magic was dangerous, especially if you weren’t experienced with it. He’s not supposed to try this kind of thing without a professional to supervise. Would the Vitiate count as a professional? Probably not. It’s only a spell about helping the ghost talk normally or whatever. It couldn’t be that dangerous, right?

If the ghost is telling the truth, anyway. Gooigi doesn’t recognize the language the spell is written in. For all he knows, this is for summoning eldritch monsters (or lighting gullible ectomorphs on fire).

Gooigi shrugs to himself. Eh, sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.

“Okay, I'll help," he says at last. Gooigi pauses. “I’ll try," he amends, “Talking is... hard."

The ghost nods imperceptibly. They anxiously glance up and down the hall as Gooigi begins to read, seemingly keeping watch—for what, he doesn’t know. Gooigi trips and fumbles his way through the most complicated paragraph he’s ever had the displeasure of reading. Nothing happens after he finishes, so he tries twice more, just in case. He can’t tell if he does better or worse with each attempt. Eventually, the ectomorph must concede defeat.

“Sorry..."

The Vitiate makes a frustrated sound, akin to a growl, but to Gooigi’s relief, they don’t lash out. “Er̛ef̡r͢etni̵ t̴’ņdid͜ ͢r̸e̶t̕sa͘m ym̨ ͠t͟àh͡t ͡s̛uo̧tiu̡t̛ŕo͝f ơot ͘s͝aw̷ ti̴ t͞h̴gu͟o͢ht̷ ̴dah ̡I. S̷noi̛t̨a̸t͢imil l͡aćov ̡ru̶oy fo̷ węn͏k ̕éh ̵sp̷ah̷rep̶...”

Is the ghost belittling him or placating him? Gooigi decides to pretend it’s the latter. “It's okay! My friend can help!"

“D̴n͡eir͢f̵?” the ghost murmurs.

“My partner is here," he says, “We find him, he can read. He has a mouth!

The dark entity regards him strangely, which is fair, given Gooigi’s choice of words. Still, the ectomorph isn’t discouraged.

“But first," Gooigi continues, “I need to find a kid. Have you seen them?"

The garbled words are barely out before the Vitiate reels back with a snarl. Gooigi raises their hands placatingly, startled by their response.

“Is that a 'yes' or do you not like kids?"

The Vitiate glares at him. Ah. Right. He should stick to ‘yes or no’ questions (and avoid dumb ones, honestly).

“T̀i ͠s̷lliw̷ re͝t̨s͠a̶m͜ d͞e͘hc̡t̴er̷w ̷y̵m s͘sel̶n͟u ͡y̛ob ̵ta̡ht ̵dni͢f͞ ̨ton ͠lli̧w͏ uơy,” the ghost hisses. “N̛ac̛ ͢ll̸i̧ts̴ eh ̵e̷l͘i͡h͟w ͢ec̶al͘p ͘s͜i͜ht ̡sèv̸aęl͡ e̴h ̡tah̷t̡ s͢e̕kas ruoy fo͏ ͟h͟t̸ob ̕ŗo̕f ͜yarp͝ I,̛ t̴seret̶n͜į ̀s͞’re̵t̛sam ͘y͞m͜ de̕rut͠ṕa̸c ͜sa̧h̸ ͏taht́ n̴amu̕h̸ ͝ehţ si̢ eh ̛f͠i, ̷’ren̛t̴r̷a͡p̸‘ r͟uǫy̧ ̡r̵o͜f ̧s͝a.”

That... somehow sounded super ominous and important. Call it a gut feeling. Would the ghost get annoyed if he asked them to repeat that in a game of charades?

A sharp gasp from down the hall steals Gooigi’s attention. He turns around and is both surprised and elated to see what appears to be an adolescent Doogan. They are standing at the end of the hall, having just stepped through the enchanted intersection. The kid is staring at the two paranormal entities with eyes wide and mouth agape. He kind of reminds Gooigi of a ghost that had just been hit with the mother of all Strobulb flashes.

What was the saying? Speak of Jaydes, and she will appear? (Is that why mortals refuse to say her name? Ridiculous. Jaydes is an absolute delight to be around.)

Whatever the case, his luck is finally turning around. Gooigi tilts his head in the approximation of a smile and offers the kid a friendly wave. “Hello!"

The Doogan promptly screams.

Now, Gooigi is used to this type of reaction (the same thing had happened when he first met Luigi), so he isn’t deterred by it. He raises both hands placatingly, but before he can try and calm the kid down, they’re pulling something out of their pocket and brandishing it like a weapon.

Is... is that an onion?

“Stay back, monster!” the teen shrieks.

Gooigi complies for the moment, but not out of any concern for the Doogan’s bizarre arsenal. Seriously, what’s with the onion?

“Why do you have an onion in your pocket?”

“For situations just like this one! Everyone knows the living dead hate onions,” the kid says with the confidence of an idiot. “As long as I have this, you can’t touch me.”

…this has to be a joke, right? There’s no way someone is this confidently wrong. Gooigi doesn’t even know where to begin addressing the blatant misinformation, so for the sake of his own sanity, he decides not to acknowledge it.

“Kid, I’m not going hurt you,” he signs, taking a cautious step forward. “I’m here to save you from—”

“Save me?” the Doogan laughs incredulously, “You think I’d fall for that just because you sort of look like Luigi?” he points at something past the ectomorph with his free hand, “Your evil boss is right there!”

Gooigi follows the kid’s line of sight and winces internally as his gaze lands on the (weirdly quiet) Vitiate. Okay, standing next to one of the ghosts that’s been terrorizing the kid and his friends is definitely not a good look. It doesn’t help that the spell book is still open and floating in plain view.

“...I’ll admit, this looks bad,” Gooigi concedes, “but you’ve got it all wrong. The ghost and I have just been trying to work things out—”

“Uh-uh!” the Doogan interjects, “No way am I listening to you! You’re just trying to trick me!”

Gooigi sighs, daring to take a few steps closer. “Please, just give me a chance to explain—”

“I said stay back! Don’t make me use this!” the Doogan shakes their onion with emphasis.

“Oh no, a smelly, tear-jerking vegetable; I better go crawl back into my crypt.” Gooigi acknowledges that snarking a terrified teenager probably isn’t the best approach, but he can’t seem to rein in the sass when faced with the ridiculousness of the situation.

The kid does not respond to Gooigi’s sarcastic quip, and it takes the ectomorph a moment to realize he isn’t even looking at him anymore. He is staring past him with growing horror and confusion.

“H-hey, where’d your boss go?”

“They’re not my—!” Gooigi freezes. Wait... what? He quickly turns. The armored Koopa Vitiate is gone, and so is the book.

A panicked shriek pulls Gooigi’s attention back to the Doogan. He whirls around and is horrified to find the kid in the ghost’s grasp. Apparently, while the kid had been focused on Gooigi, the Vitiate had turned invisible and crept up on him, grabbing him from behind (is this ghost part Slinker?). They have one arm wrapped around the Doogan’s throat, and the other is keeping one of his arms pinned to his side. If the situation weren’t so dire, Gooigi would have found it amusing that his free arm is the one clutching the onion.

“No! Let me go!” the kid yowls, thrashing desperately in the ghost’s grip, “I’m sorry for calling you evil! Please don’t hurt me!”

“Nw̕od ͟draug r͡uoy̵ t̸eļ ̀ot, ͝uo͘y͢ f̀o ̡sselèr̷ac w̨oh,” the dark entity hisses, “Wo̧n dn͞a͟ er̨eh ͘sdn͏e s̨ih͜t!”

Gooigi finally snaps out of his shock. He sprints toward the kid and their ghostly captor, waving his arms frantically to get the latter’s attention. “Wait! Stop!"

The Vitiate pays him no mind. Their hold on the Doogan only tightens, and the kid’s struggling devolves into intense shivering. “C-cold! Why is it s-s-so c-cold?”

“Please! Stop!" Gooigi pleads, increasingly more desperate, “Let the kid go!"

“M͠elo̸g͏ èm̕il͞s̛,͢ ȩc̶nel̕i̴s͠!” the dark entity growls, keeping their eyes firmly on the Doogan. “N͜o̢iţart͘n̛e͡c̡no͏c͢ ̴l̢l̢u̶f y̶m ͝s̀e̶r̷iuqe̵r͠ síht̀, ̷nop͠ąeẁ ͠a fo ̕dia̷ e͡ht͜ ̕tu͢o̧ht̕íw.”

‘I don’t know what you’re saying!’ Gooigi wants to scream. If he had hair, he’d be tearing it out. Why, oh why couldn’t he have gotten that stupid spell to work?!

The kid abruptly goes stiff. His mouth hangs open, and his wide eyes stare vacantly into the middle distance. With growing horror, Gooigi notices that the Vitiate’s arms have begun to slowly phase into the Doogan’s body. What is the ghost trying to do?! Is this what possession looks like? Gooigi isn’t about to wait and find out.

The time for talking has ended.

Gooigi quickly weighs his options. Startle the ghost with the Strobulb? No, he’ll be blinding the kid, too. Blast the ghost away with the Burst function? No, as tightly as they’re holding onto the kid, he’ll be brought along for the ride. Skip straight to the vacuuming action? The ghost would probably just clamp down harder. That just leaves...

The ectomorph silently preps the Suction Shot. His distracted adversary’s head is just visible over the kid’s shoulder. If he aims carefully, he should be able to obscure the ghost’s vision with the cup of the plunger. Hopefully, that will startle them enough to let go.

Gooigi takes aim, and fires.

The plunger hits its mark. Startled, the ghost relinquishes their hold on the kid and immediately claws at the obstruction. The Doogan collapses to the floor with a gasp. Gooigi darts forward as the teen shakily rises to their hands and knees.

“You okay?" he warbles, reaching out to offer the kid a hand.

The Doogan looks up, wild-eyed, and leaps to their feet with a shriek. They throw the onion at Gooigi in a panic and bolt down the hallway. The vegetable bounces harmlessly off Gooigi and lands at his feet. He stares down at it in dumb silence while the Doogan makes their getaway. 3

Huh. Gooigi has to give the kid credit; the onion certainly gave him pause.

“On͡!̡ Ep͢a̵cse̸ me̶ht̸ ́t̢el ͠t̀’̶n͟o͝ḑ!”

The Dark Koopa nearly bowls Gooigi over as they barrel past him. The time allotted to him by the Suction Shot is apparently up. Gooigi scrambles to recover and quickly pursues the angry Vitiate. The Doogan dares a glance over his shoulder and yelps at the rapidly gaining duo. With a desperate burst of speed, he sprints through the intersection at the end of the hall and disappears into the enchantment’s tell-tale shimmer.

The Vitiate halts before the invisible barrier can claim them as well. Gooigi moves to go around them, but the dark entity seizes the ectomorph by the arm. To Gooigi’s shock, he doesn’t just slip through the Vitiate’s grip like he would with anyone else. He is held firmly, as if he isn’t a semi-solid being, and Gooigi distantly wonders if it has anything to do with them both being ectoplasmic entities. Then, with a furious snarl, the ghost turns and throws him to the ground.

Rude.

“Lo͝of ̨u̷o̸y! Enǫd̸ ́e̸v’̷uoy ̷t͝ahw͡ ̷a͞ed͢i y̡n̡a͟ ͡e̵va̛h u͢oy ̴od́?!” The Dark Koopa howls. “Me̛ht̷ d͠a̸h̸ ts̢òml͞a Í! Si̸ht̢ d͟edn͢e eva̧h dlu͜oc̨ e͝w!”

Gooigi doesn’t have to understand the ghost to know they are chewing him out. He knows a reprimand when he hears one.

“Y̧lla ͞na eb̨ d̨l̡u͠o̡c ̷u̵o͢y d̨ep͠oh͘ dah̶ ́I,” the Vitiate grumbles, “ytįli͝baìl̷ ̷a͜ na̷h̶t ̸er̴om͢ ǵn̸i͠hton ͝er’̨ùo̶y͟ s̴me̷es͏ ti ͘tub́.” They turn away. “P͟a̡rt ́s͏’r̛e̢tsa̛m ym̛ sr̕e̢tnȩ n̵am͘uh ̷r̨u͝o̴y͏ er͡of̛e̢b em͢i̡t fo ̡re̸ttam ͠a yl͘ņo s͞i͞ ţi̢ ràef͡ I. T̶sr̶i̡f mih ͜dn͡if̵ ͞lliw ̶I͜, ̷y͜k͟c͠ul ̶si ͡eh ͝f͏i͠.” Without a glance his way, they drift toward the intersection. “E̴v́it͠pec̕rep̕ erom ̕şi e͞h͝ ͡y̡ar̵p ͝I̵.” 3

And with that, the armored Dark Koopa is gone.

Gooigi stares quietly at where the dark entity disappeared. That last spiel had the same energy as one of Luigi’s “I’m not angry, just disappointed” lectures. He can handle angry ghosts well enough, but disappointed ones? That was new. And, somehow, worse.

Gooigi gets to his feet with a sigh, feeling every bit like a scolded child. He wordlessly steps through the enchanted intersection and finds himself in another hallway. The ectomorph is disappointed (but not surprised) that the kid is nowhere in sight. He is less disappointed that the Dark Koopa is also absent.

Why does he feel so guilty? That ghost was doing some weird, spooky stuff to the kid. Gooigi was just trying to protect him! He didn’t do anything wrong!

...right?

Gooigi doesn’t let himself dwell on it. He continues his trek through the halls, hoping to get lucky and run into the fleeing teenager. His persistence eventually rewards him, though not with the kid, but a lead as to where they may have gone. The enchantment has now dropped Gooigi into a hall with a dead end, and about halfway down, is an open door. The Doogan must have ducked into that room and forgot to close it behind them in their haste. Gooigi’s not complaining though.

The ectomorph quietly approaches the door, considering what he can say to the kid to convince them he’s on their side. He steps past the threshold, hands up and ready to make another attempt to placate. To his surprise, the door isn’t to a bedroom, but a staircase. He follows the steps upward with his eyes. Where does this lead? The attic?

The door abruptly slams behind him, and it is at that moment that Gooigi realizes he just walked into a trap.

Of course it’s a trap. After multiple failures in a row, why would his luck suddenly be any better?

Gooigi sighs and prepares to use the Poltergust’s Suction Shot on the door. He hesitates. He glances over his shoulder, back at the staircase. It’s probably not the wisest choice, but Gooigi can’t deny that he’s curious as to what may be at the top of those steps. It could be nothing, and Gooigi had just been lured to this particular door at random, but the ectomorph has come to learn that when dealing with the paranormal, there are few coincidences. There must be a reason the ghosts trapped him here of all places.

Gooigi cautiously ascends the stairs, Poltergust at the ready. When he reaches the top, he quickly steps off to the side—he's been pushed down staircases too much not to be paranoid—and scans the area for ghosts. Finding none, he begins to explore.

It’s an attic, as he suspected. There are boxes and miscellaneous items covered with dusty sheets lining the walls—standard stuff. What isn’t standard, is what lies in the middle of the room.

A large, intricate magic circle has been drawn onto the floor. It is surrounded by a ring of candles dripping with melted wax. The candle’s wicks are still lit, but instead of a warm orange, the flames glow a ghostly lilac.

‘This must be where the kids summoned the ghosts,’ Gooigi thinks.

He dares to get closer to the circle, scrutinizing it carefully. Gooigi is no expert in magic, but this doesn’t look like the type of arrangement you’d need for a simple séance. Stars, just what kind of magic did these kids mess with?

Luigi might know what this is. And if he doesn’t, hopefully he had the foresight to pack E. Gadd’s latest invention to help identify it. The ectomorph turns, intending to go back down the stairs and bust down the door, but is stopped by another presence. There, blocking the staircase, is a Clubba Vitiate.

Gooigi immediately notes that the ghost’s eyes aren’t red, which doesn’t bode well, but that doesn’t mean they’re a guaranteed hostile. After all, the Snifit had white eyes and Gooigi had managed to make peace with them.

They also hadn’t been as far gone as the other Vitiates, but that’s beside the point.

Gooigi waves cheerfully at the Clubba, undeterred. “Hello!"

The rotund ghost stares quietly back at him. For a moment, Gooigi thinks they might be open to a friendly chat. Ominous leering isn’t necessarily a sign of aggression, right? Maybe they’re just shy.

The Clubba ghost starts to growl, and before Gooigi knows it, the dark entity is growing and shifting into a grotesque parody of itself. Gooigi takes several steps back, readying his Poltergust.

“Uh-oh."

_______________

[Now]

Luigi, Dane, and Pepper slowly make their way up and down the various hallways. Luigi pauses before each door, sensing for traps and destroying them accordingly. Only a few of the doors they’ve come across so far were a part of the original floor plan, and none of the rooms beyond showed signs of Gooigi or the remaining ghosts. At first, the trio search in silence—Luigi being focused on the task at hand, and Dane seemingly cowed from his admonishing—but after an uneventful stretch of time, the kid begins to fill in the quiet with questions.

“So, what’s with the fancy vacuum? I’ve never seen one with a flashlight attachment.” Dane watches as Luigi destroys yet another trap door with the Suction Shot. “Or shoot toilet plungers, for that matter.”

Luigi, for some unexplainable reason, finds it difficult to respond. His brows furrow. It was an innocent question with a simple enough answer, so where was this hesitation coming from?

“This,” Luigi says at last, brandishing the Poltergust’s wand, “is the Poltergust G-00-EG—” Patent pending. “—the latest Poltergust model and most advanced piece of ghost capturing technology in all the known kingdoms.” 4

Dane hums appreciatively. “A bit of a mouthful, but as far as puns go, ‘Poltergust’ is unquestionably ‘S’ tier.”

Luigi smiles, remembering how giddy E. Gadd had been when he first introduced the Poltergust all those years ago. He’d be delighted to know that someone else appreciated his “naming genius.”

“Is that where the ghosts go when you catch ‘em?” Dane asks, pointing to the clear canister on Luigi’s back.

“No, that’s for Gooigi.”

Dane’s eyes widen. “You store Jelly Joe in a jar?”

Jelly Joe? Luigi’s adding that one to the list. “The canister is for protection and recovery, not storage.”

“Protection from what?”

The inexplicable hesitation from before returns, stronger this time. Luigi frowns. He clears his throat, jaw spasming minutely as he opens his mouth to answer.

“Water, mostly,” Luigi replies, ignoring the strange surge of annoyance that follows. “And if he is hurt badly enough that he can’t maintain form, the Poltergust automatically collects his physical body until he’s able to recover.”

“Oooo neat.” Dane leans over to better scrutinize the Poltergust. “How does he get out?”

“There’s a sensor at the bottom of the canister that Gooigi can trigger when he’s ready.” Luigi frowns to himself. “But that’s been acting up lately, so I’ve been having to release him manually.”

Luigi pauses at the next door, not detecting a trap or malevolent energy. He gestures for Dane to step back and opens it to find another hallway identical to theirs. He quirks a brow before cautiously leaning out the door. When he looks to his left, Luigi is bewildered to see Dane, Pepper, and himself several doors down. His “doppelgänger” is also leaning through a doorway. Luigi withdraws and looks to his right to see an open door down the hall—the exit point of the portal.

“Whoa, that’s trippy!” Dane runs down the hall before Luigi can protest and stops in front of the other door. Sure enough, they are now standing before the plumber in the threshold.

Luigi patiently has the Doogan step through the door so they are once more at his side. Luigi closes the door and locks it with his magic skeleton key.

“Oh cool! A skeleton key! I’ve never seen one in person before.” Dane leans in curiously. “But why are you locking the door with it?”

“I’m breaking the enchantment so I can safely dispose of the door.”

Luigi tears the door down. Sure enough, the door it had been connected to down the hall also disappears. Luigi destroys a few more trap doors before coming to another one free of malevolent energy.

A wall of steam pours over the threshold and curls around the plumber and his companions. When it clears, Luigi finds he is standing before a bathroom. The floor is checkered with pale blue tile, the rest of the room adorned in complimentary shades. Across from the trio is an old, claw-footed tub with a shower curtain drawn tightly around it. The curvy silhouette of a woman can be seen beyond the cloth, her jovial humming mingling pleasantly with the gentle patter of water from the shower head.

Luigi quickly retreats, absently throwing a hand over the teen’s eyes (the latter squawking indignantly) as he shuts the door behind him.

What was up with ghosts and shower hauntings?

“That, uh..." Dane trails off, sounding a little mortified. “That wasn’t one of our bathrooms.”

Luigi sags minutely with relief. It’s another portal door, meaning he doesn’t need to confront whatever is on that side of the threshold. He locks the door and destroys it as well.

The neighboring door also lacks the negative energy indicative of a trap. With great trepidation, Luigi grasps the worn brass knob and pulls. A warm, foul-smelling gust of air billows from the room. It is completely dark, but the plumber can hear what sounds like deep breathing coming from its depths. He warily pulls out his flashlight and turns it on. A narrow, maroon tunnel spans before him, sprawling further and further until its end is concealed in shadow. The walls glisten with a slimy substance, and the ceiling and floor are lined with rows of odd, off-white stalactites and stalagmites—

Wait.

Luigi slams the door, wide-eyed.

Dane stares at the hastily shut door, equally alarmed. "...horrifying."

Luigi silently agrees. He wastes no time locking the door and destroying it. Dane studies the now vacant spot with open wariness.

“So... what do we do if something other than a ghost manages to get through these doors?” Dane glances at the Poltergust. “Does that work on monsters, too?”

Luigi clenches his jaw against the urge to snap at the kid. It’s a fair concern to address, given what they just witnessed, so the subsequent spike in irritation seems rather unwarranted. Why does he feel so agitated?

“It can’t capture them if that’s what you mean,” he says. At the teen’s nervous look, Luigi quickly tries to assure them. “But you don’t need to worry about that, Dane. I was fighting monsters well before I was fighting ghosts.”

And yet, he is still afraid of the former. Even after all these years.

Dane doesn’t reply to his platitude, so Luigi isn’t certain if he succeeded in putting the kid at ease. They continue on in silence. Luigi destroys two more trap doors before they arrive at one lacking malevolent energy. He warily takes hold of the doorknob, sending a silent prayer to the Stars that it isn’t another portal. He grimaces as he thinks of the last one.

“You might want to stand off to the side a bit,” Luigi tells Dane. “Just in case.”

Dane’s face scrunches up, likely also remembering the previous portal. “Good idea.”

The Doogan moves down the hall a few paces. Pepper trots dutifully after him.

“In hindsight,” Luigi adds, easing open the door, “I probably should have had you doing that in the first—”

Luigi cuts himself off with a surprised yelp. There, standing in the doorway, is the armored Koopa Vitiate. Luigi leaps back, falling into a defensive stance with the Poltergust at the ready, but the ghost doesn’t go on the attack. In fact, they react similarly to Luigi. With equal speed, the ghost puts distance between them, posed to attack or defend as needed. They regard each other quietly. Neither appear eager to make the first move.

“…Luigi?” Dane whispers, near inaudibly. “What’s wrong?”

Luigi tenses, fully expecting Dane’s voice to send the ghost into another frenzy, but they don’t show any reaction. Either they didn’t hear the kid, or they don’t care enough about his presence to engage in another fight. They seem to have calmed considerably since their earlier encounter. Perhaps now they can try and settle matters diplomatically.

“We don’t need to fight,” Luigi says after a beat. “I have the spell book. Show me what I need to read to break your hex, and we can talk this out. Okay?”

The Dark Koopa watches him in silent scrutiny, but otherwise says nothing in response to his offer. Luigi isn’t discouraged. Something like relief is radiating from the armored Koopa; relief and a sense of urgency so strong, Luigi feels it as if it’s his own. This is confirmation enough.

Luigi turns his head slightly towards Dane, keeping the ghost in his peripheral. “Dane, I need you to bring me the spell book.”

The teen’s eyes widen, darting from Luigi to the doorway. From his spot in the hall, the open door is shielding the ghost from view—a near perfect replica of their prior meeting, only with reversed roles.

“Is that who I think it is…?” Dane whispers.

Luigi nods sharply. “I know they scared you before, but you need to trust me on this. Remember what we talked about…”

The Doogan winces, likely recalling his reprimand. He nods to himself as he carefully makes his way over. Pepper matches the kid’s cautious stride.

Luigi spares the Dark Koopa a brief glance. Their head is also turned in Dane’s direction, perhaps listening to his timid approach. Luigi opens the door wider to make room for his two companions. He holds out his hand with remarkable patience as they draw near. Pepper and Dane step into view of the armored Koopa.

A sharp crack! cuts through the tense silence, startling Luigi into high alert. He turns back to the dark entity, anticipating an attack, but is shocked to find a kaleidoscope of jagged shapes in their place. Harsh lines spiderweb out from a seemingly arbitrary focal point and end at the doorway’s framing. It takes Luigi an embarrassingly long moment to realize he’s looking at a shattered mirror.

“Uh…” Dane begins uncertainly. “Where’s the armored ghost? All I see is our reflection.”

Luigi turns to Dane, confused by their calm reaction to the mirror’s loud and rather sudden destruction. When Luigi turns back to the mirror, he is bewildered to find it completely intact. Dane is currently looking between his and Luigi’s haggard reflection. Luigi quirks a brow, frowning at his own disheveled appearance. His damp clothes are torn in a few places and sag uncomfortably on his frame. There’s a minor scrape on his cheek that he doesn’t recall getting, and he distantly wonders which of the ghosts was responsible for it. He turns his gaze downward to gauge Pepper’s reaction to the mirror, but the pup is no longer beside them. The Polterpup is back where he and Dane had been waiting off to the side, only now they are watching the doorway with wide eyes.

“I… I don’t know,” Luigi says helplessly. “This mirror wasn’t here earlier. Or, if it was, it wasn’t functioning like one…”

Dane abruptly steps away from the doorframe. “Oh, sweet Jaydes, are you telling me this is a haunted mirror? Is the armored ghost possessing it or something?!”

Luigi studies his reflection a moment more, searching for anything amiss. Nothing changes. No cracks, no shadowy ghosts, just a rung-out human in need of a change of clothes and a shower. He closes the door, feeling out of sorts. “It was probably an illusion,” he says quietly. “Spectral shenanigans. Nothing to worry ourselves over.”

Luigi hopes he sounds more certain than he feels. Without further acknowledgment or investigation, he locks the door with his skeleton key and tears it down with a well-aimed Suction Shot. Luigi wordlessly moves to check the next door, only to find there isn’t one. He casts his befuddled gaze back the way they came. A significantly more reasonable number of doors now line each wall. Apparently, they have finished clearing this hall of traps and door portals.

Luigi waves Pepper and Dane forward. “Let’s move on.”

==

The next hall the trio are dumped into comes to a dead end. Luigi grimaces, already imagining the many different scenarios where they end up cornered and trapped by whatever may be lurking behind these doors. Nothing has jumped out to attack them yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Luigi looks over his shoulder, considering whether to brave their current hall or throw themselves back to the enchantment’s mercy. He turns toward the dead end and ventures forth with a sigh. They’d likely have to come back here anyway; may as well get it over with.

Luigi destroys two trap doors on opposite walls in quick succession, Dane and Pepper following quietly behind. Both give Luigi a generous amount of space each time he stops to conduct an inspection. He is about to examine door number six when he detects movement in his peripheral. About halfway down the hall, one of the doors on the left begins to open. Luigi gestures for his companions to stay put and quickly moves so he is standing between them and the new potential threat. They watch the door’s painfully slow progress, its hinges creaking eerily in the cramped quarters. It eases to a stop; nothing emerges.

“...that is... super creepy,” Dane whispers.

Luigi frowns at the apparent invitation. “Stay close to me," he quietly tells the teen, “And get ready to run."

Dane nods his understanding. He trails nervously after Luigi as the latter cautiously approaches the door. Luigi wordlessly readies his Poltergust. They are almost within reach when a green blur tumbles over the threshold and crashes into the far wall. It slides to the floor in an amorphous blob before quickly reforming into a familiar shape.

“Gooigi!"

The ghost hunter startles, surprised by Luigi’s presence, and turns to the trio with wide eyes. Any relief at being reunited is swiftly dashed by a massive morning star soaring through the open doorway and embedding itself in the wall just above Gooigi’s head.

“Run!"

A giant, clawed hand erupts from the doorway, knocking the door off its hinges as it reaches fervently for the ectomorph. Gooigi swiftly dodges, narrowly avoiding the swiping hand. He leaps to his feet with a distressed warble and dashes past his gawking partner. Luigi jolts from his stupor and quickly directs his companions to join the ghost hunter in their retreat. They run back the way they came, but the moment the group attempts to pass their first intersection, the enchantment’s magic takes hold. Suddenly, the ghost’s swiping hand is in their path, blocking their way forward. Luigi turns and finds a wall at their back. The enchantment had deposited them at the hallway’s dead end.

They’re trapped.

Luigi whirls back to the Vitiate’s flailing arm. The ghost has managed to poke its head out of the door—revealing it to be the Clubba Vitiate that Dane had told him about—but it can’t seem to get the rest of its bulbous body through the threshold. Luigi squints at the struggling entity, bewildered. Why doesn’t it just phase through the wall?

“It’s stuck! That’s good, right?" Dane asks hopefully. “We’re safe?”

The Clubba suddenly retreats into the room. A second later, its hands emerge, clasping both sides of the doorway’s framing. Then, it pulls—widening the opening like someone manually prying open a sliding door. Instead of crumbling into rubble, the walls stretch unnaturally to accommodate the ghost’s impromptu changes to the threshold’s dimensions. Once wide enough, the dark entity claws its way out into the cramped hall.

“O-okay! Um... at least it can’t really move out here!"

The Vitiate growls irritably as it fails to stand at its full height. It raises both arms, palms to the ceiling, and pushes. The ceiling soars upward several meters before coming to a stop, again changing the room’s dimensions without any signs of damage. It reaches an arm out to the morning star imbedded in the wall and grabs the handle. With the other arm, the Clubba shoves against the wall, sending it back another couple of meters while simultaneously freeing their weapon.

“Oh, come on!"

“What did I tell you about tempting fate?!”

Luigi watches as the Clubba rises to its full height. The dark entity reminds the plumber a lot of his brother’s old foe, Tubba Blubba, only bigger. Impractically large tusks jut out from its bottom jaw and two, sharp horns curl back over the entity’s head. Its tail is longer too—so much so that it now drags on the ground behind it instead of poking up in the air.

The Vitiate takes two lumbering steps toward the cornered mortals, closing the already little distance between them. Now that the ghost is closer, Luigi can tell by the way it holds itself that it isn’t at full strength. Gooigi may have failed to catch it in their time apart, but they certainly drained a fair share of the ghost’s energy. Hopefully, with their combined efforts, they can quickly finish it off.

Luigi looks from the ghost to the wall at his back. Full power or not, the Clubba is still incredibly dangerous, especially in such close quarters. Luigi needs to create distance, and fast.

“Gooigi, hit them with the Strobulb," he tells his partner quietly. Then, loud enough for the others to hear, “Everyone get behind me.”

The ectomorph nods as Dane and Pepper squeeze into what little space remains between Luigi and the dead end. While his partner charges their Strobulb, Luigi holsters the Poltergust’s wand and hastily removes his damp gloves. He rolls up his sleeves as an after-thought and raises a fist, sparks coming to life along his hand. Luigi isn’t soaked through, but he’s still far from dry. He can only hope his precautionary measures will reduce whatever backlash he may receive.

The Vitiate, seeing Luigi’s building attack, tries to interfere with a pre-emptive strike of their own, but Gooigi blinds them with a flash before they can follow through. They stumble back with a snarl, and Gooigi quickly moves behind the plumber while the ghost furiously rubs at their eyes. With a final burst of charge, Luigi unleashes the Thunderhand. The attack strikes true, sending the Clubba ghost hurdling down the widened hallway. Unfortunately, as the plumber suspected, his clothes conduct some of the attack, and he receives a shock of his own. Luigi collapses to his hands and knees, muscles spasming minutely at the backlash.

“That was freaking awesome!" Dane whoops, fist pumping in the air. He double takes, finally taking notice of Luigi’s hunched form. “Whoa, man, are you okay?"

“I-I’ll be fine." Luigi gives himself a hard shake. This isn’t the first time the Thunderhand backfired on him, and it certainly isn’t the worst.

Gooigi offers their help as he moves to stand, but when the ectomorph’s hand contacts Luigi’s damp clothes, their palm starts to sizzle. They recoil, looking between Luigi and their reforming hand with a lightly quirked brow. The plumber gives his partner a flat look.

“Not. One. Word." He grumbles.

A deep growl snaps the group’s attention back to the Vitiate steadily recovering from Luigi’s attack. It slowly rises from the ground, residual electricity arcing off its ethereal form. Then, with a furious roar, the Clubba ghost turns to the wall and delivers a powerful kick. Instead of expanding outward, like the entity’s previous manipulations, the hall flips over like a box pushed onto its side—sending Luigi and company flying. All but the Polterpup land in painful heaps on the wall-turned-floor.

“That is, so not fair," Dane wheezes.

The dark entity guffaws heartily at the dazed mortals, lifting its leg to deliver another world-altering kick, but Luigi is ready this time. He calls a warning to his companions and rushes to brace himself for the pull of gravity. The hall flips just as violently as before, but the mortals fair far better as they land on what was once the ceiling. Luigi quickly leaps back to his feet.

“Pepper, you stay here with Dane and keep him safe! Gooigi, you’re with me!"

The Polterpup barks in the affirmative and Gooigi nods, wordlessly following their partner as the latter dashes down the hall. They make it about halfway to their target before the Vitiate decides to flip the room yet again. Luigi mentally nudges the ectomorph, silently conveying an idea. Gooigi presses back in acknowledgement, and, just before the room turns, the two ghost hunters simultaneously perform a Burst—easing their transition to the new plane and significantly reducing their recovery time. The Clubba scowls at their resourcefulness and quickly flips the room again, hoping to catch them off guard, but they anticipate the action and perform another Burst before they can be thrown. Frustrated, the Clubba switches tactics and hoists its weapon into the air. Once the two ghost hunters are in range, it lunges forward and brings the morning star down in a brutal swing. The duo narrowly dodge the blow, leaping to opposite sides of the hallway. The Vitiate continues its wild onslaught, spiked bludgeon scraping mortar from the walls and splintering wood beneath the ruined rug. A particularly brutal swing crashes into the floor and the mighty weapon becomes embedded in its surface. The ghost hunters pause, taking a moment of reprieve while the dark entity struggles to free it.

“Any ideas on how to take it down?" Luigi signs, trying to give himself a chance to catch his breath.

Gooigi stares at the ghost in brief contemplation. After a moment, he perks, turning to Luigi and miming a poof of air like that of the Burst from their Poltergust. He mimics being off balance and then slams one hand on top of the other.

“Take it down by literally taking it down?” The plumber confirms.

Gooigi nods.

“Simple and to the point. I like it."

The two look over in time to see the Clubba ghost pull its weapon free with a mighty tug, sending the lumbering behemoth stumbling back at the sudden lack of resistance. They exchange a glance—there's their opening. Luigi and his partner rush in as the Vitiate tries to recover and simultaneously activate the Burst function of their Poltergusts. The blast of air knocks the already unstable ghost onto their back, and the two ghost hunters waste no time in switching on their glorified vacuums. Each aims their nozzles at a different leg and quickly draws in their respective target. The ghost flails with a snarl, attempting to pull away, but before it can make any progress, the duo lifts as one and swings it in an arc before slamming it back into the ground. They perform this maneuver once, twice, three times—the ghost howling its protests. Luigi activates the Power Surge function, draining the last of the ghost’s energy. He exchanges a look with his partner. With a wordless nod, he shuts off the intake and watches as the roaring Vitiate disappears into Gooigi’s Poltergust.

Five down...

Mere moments after the Vitiate’s defeat, the hallway begins to shudder. Everyone watches in quiet awe as the ceiling lowers and the walls constrict. The doorway Gooigi and the Clubba had come through follows suit, and soon everything has returned to its previous dimensions. The only evidence of their ghostly encounter is the damage left by the Clubba’s deadly weapon.

Luigi smiles wearily, offering his friend a thumbs-up. “Nice work."

Gooigi mirrors the gesture. “Ditto."

Dane and Pepper run over, quickly regrouping with the ghost hunters. The teen looks like he’s about to burst with giddiness. “Whoa! I didn’t know you could bash ghosts into stuff! That must feel super cathartic."

“Well, I wouldn’t say—"

“It does."

Luigi frowns at his doppelgänger. The ectomorph stares back innocently.

“What? You think so too. Don’t lie."

Luigi rolls his eyes, turning back to the Doogan. “Anyway. You okay, kid? Not too banged up I hope…”

“Eh, a bruise here or there, but I’m good. Pepper kept me from being thrown around when the room flipped."

Luigi smiles down at his ghostly companion. “Good job, Pepper."

The Polterpup’s tail gives the faintest wag. An oddly subdued reaction to his praise, Luigi thinks.

“Oh! Where are my manners?" Luigi turns, gesturing to his partner. “Dane, allow me to introduce you to my friend, Gooigi. Gooigi? This is Dane.”

Dane waves sheepishly at the ectomorph. “Hey dude... sorry I, uh, ran from you earlier.”

“You threw an onion at me.”

Luigi quirks a brow at the teen. “You did what now?”

“I told you, I thought he was a bad guy!”

“Why an onion, though?”

“It was a misunderstanding of folklore,” Gooigi signs. “He probably meant to use garlic.”

“But... you’re not a vampire,” the plumber says superfluously. “You don’t even look like one.”

“Hey, imagine how confused I was.”

Dane crosses their arms and shrinks in on themselves, looking thoroughly embarrassed. “Look, I’m sorry about that, okay? I was freaking out and wasn’t thinking. Can we please just drop it?"

Luigi shrugs, taking pity on the kid. “Fine with me. Oh, and for the record, don’t rely on garlic for protection.”

The ectomorph mirrors his shrug and waves a hand dismissively at the kid. “We’re good. I’m just glad to see you aren’t hurt.”

Dane relaxes, looking relieved. “Right back at ya, my jello fellow.”

“I am not gelatin. I am goo.”

“If we want to get technical,” Luigi interjects, “he's coffee and ectoplasm.”

“...I have never heard anything more relatable in my life."

Luigi regards Dane with a quirked brow. The ectomorph puffs up and playfully elbows his partner in the side.

“Hear that, Luigi? I’m relatable.”

Luigi gives his partner a flat look. “Truly, you are the voice of a generation.” He glances down the hall, sobering at the reminder that they are all still standing at a dead-end. “We should get moving before something else shows up and corners us.”

Gooigi puts a hand on his shoulder. “Wait.” When they’re sure they have his attention, they gesture to the room they had been violently expunged from. “There’s something you need to see.”

______________________________

Gooigi: "Hello!"

Clubba: *turns into a horrifying monster*

Gooigi: "Understandable. Have a nice day."

-

Gooigi is so much fun to write. Best gooey boi. <3 And now he's finally back! (To kick! Some! Tail! Goo-ey! Goo-i-gi!) Hopefully he and Luigi can make sense of the mysterious magic circle and figure out how to leave the second floor (aka the least-fun-funhouse ever) before things can take a turn for the worse.

-

Yoshi, a dinosaur-esq species: "The hell is that supposed to mean?" (I wrote this Jurassic Park reference before I remembered that there are, in fact, actual dinosaurs and dinosaur adjacent species in the Mario-verse, and they would probably be quite offended by Gooigi's implication. I left it in anyway, because I love this dumb inner dialogue and JP too much to change/omit it.) ↩︎

Gooigi's spoken dialogue is written in the "Chiller" font in the original document. I thought the shaky lettering did a great job conveying how "wobbly" his voice sounded to everyone. Unfortunately, I couldn't transfer this font into Tumblr or ao3, so I had to come up with something else for each platform. ↩︎

I promise this is the last chapter with backwards speech (there's like 4 lines of it in chapter 5.7 but that's it). Click here if you want to use the text reversing site. ↩︎

“The cryptids page on the ‘seenthat’ forum. Those guys really seemed to know their stuff, so I, uh..." They trail off, looking up at the plumber with sudden recognition. “Holy crap you’re Luigi.” The teen smiles, laughing nervously. “Luigi’s in my house. I’m being rescued by one of the Mario Brothers. This is awesome."

Luigi can’t help but smile back, feeling partially relieved. The kid can’t be in too bad of shape if they’re able to feel star-struck, right?

“You must be Dane."

“Wha— Oh! Yeah, that’s me. Dane—Dane Pawper. Well, my parents named me Larry, so my full name is actually Larry Dane Pawper but who wants to go by Larry?" He blinks, suddenly looking embarrassed. “Sorry, I ramble when I’m nervous."

“No worries, I’m the same way." The plumber offers Dane his hand to help the teen up. They happily accept his offer, but grimace as they feel Luigi’s damp glove.  

“Hey, why are you all wet?” Dane asks, brow raised.

“I shower with my clothes on.”

That startles a laugh out of the teen, and Luigi is grateful they hadn’t been put-off by his flat tone. Sometimes his sense of humor comes off as a touch derisive, even if it’s not his intention.

“No, but seriously, what happened?” The teen glances up and down the hall, as if searching for the cause of Luigi’s saturated state. “Did one of our pipes burst again?” 

Luigi imperceptibly cringes, feeling a tad self-conscious.

“A Blooper ghost threw your pool at me.”

“Oh...” Dane rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, looking anywhere but at Luigi. “I’m sorry. I... this is my fault. All these ghosts are here because of me," he mumbles. “I’m the one that read from the book."

Luigi’s brows rise marginally. Dane was the summoner? That certainly explains why the strongest ghost targeted him.

“I don’t think it’s fair for you to take all the blame. From what Koojo told me, it was a group decision."

The Doogan’s eyes light up.

“You talked to Koojo? Is he okay? What about the others?"

“He’s fine, they all are," Luigi assures. “They’re outside waiting with a friend while my partners and I handle the rest of these ghosts."

Dane’s shoulders sag with relief.

“Thank the Stars," he sighs. Then, curiously, “Wait, partners? As in more than one? Is Mario here too?"

Luigi fights back a laugh. His brother was talented in many things, but for whatever reason, he seemed to flounder whenever he tried to wield the Poltergust.

“No, ghost hunting isn’t really his thing," he says mildly. “Pepper and Gooigi are my partners in crime tonight."

The teen perks, suddenly looking elated.  

“Dude! Same here!”

When Luigi gives him an odd look, Dane reaches into the pockets of his orange jacket and procures a pepper shaker and a pair of sunglasses with a large “G” printed on the arms. Luigi stares at the items with thinly veiled dismay.

“Good Grambi,” Luigi mumbles quietly. “The Boos back at the mansion would adore you.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Dare I ask why you have pepper in your pocket?”

“For protection,” the kid says like it’s obvious, “from demons!”  

The plumber takes a deep, composing breath.

“Remind me to make some book recommendations after we get out of here,” he says tiredly. “And to clarify, Pepper is my dog. Also, I said Gooigi, not the fashion brand.”

“Goo... igi...?” Dane repeats slowly. “Is that a portmanteau of ‘Goo’ and ‘Luigi’?”

Luigi offers a somewhat solemn nod.

“Uh... would this ‘Gooigi’ person happen to look like you if you were a lime-green fruit snack?”

“You’ve seen him?”

The teen suddenly looks embarrassed.

“Yeah... I, uh, kinda ran away... from him...?” His voice lilts as if asking a question. At Luigi’s blank stare, he hurries to elaborate. “I didn’t know he was a good guy!”

“You just said he looks like me.”

“Man, I don’t know! I didn’t really make the connection at the time!” Dane throws his hands up. “I just saw a walking Gummy Man wobbling around and freaked out! I thought they were one of the things the hooded dude summoned.”

A dozen questions pop into the plumber’s mind. The first to leave his mouth is, undoubtedly, the least imperative.

“...Gummy Man?"

“I’m not very creative."

Maybe not, but Luigi was definitely going to tease his partner about this later.

===

And there we have it! I know it’s not much, but I can’t include much in the way of action without spoiling things. This scene is one of the few that has remained fairly consistent through all the drafts, so I felt it was safe to share. Plus I enjoyed writing the dialogue. Honestly, that’s some of my favorite stuff to write.