I mourn will,Freya and balinor's deaths so fucking much especially in the later seasons not only because they were great people and deserved so much better but also Merlin was in 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 need of characters who cared about him without 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 caring about Arthur Pendragon.
Merlin is Gwen's best friend but Arthur is her husband. Lancelot and gwaine are absolutely Merlin's knights first but they are also loyal to and duty bound to protect Arthur. Gaius,while having Merlin as his first priority,again is sworn to Arthur and also loves him. Elyan, Percival and Leon are Merlin's Friends but their loyalty is to Arthur.Even kilgarrah -𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒉- who has no love for any human(except Merlin) much less a Pendragon,is invested in Arthur's safety because it's only after Arthur becomes the once and future king,that kilgarrah can get his true freedom. Hell hunith(𝑀𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑛'𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 ) even does this,when she told Merlin that his place was by Arthur's side Infront of his 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅'𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒚𝒓𝒆(ma'am you knew will his whole life and that blond man a week, please get a grip).
Merlin is very loved. But he has no one in his life that loves him and 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡 beholden to Arthur Pendragon in some way,shape or form.
It's why they wouldn't challenge statements like" he's worth a 100 of me". It's why they wouldn't stop from sacrificing himself and risking life and limp to protect Arthur, because 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 would also not hesitate to sacrifice themselves for their king. It's why none of them,as much as they love Merlin,will say "hey your life is just as valuable,you don't have to sacrifice it for him".
And all of them (unintentionally )push Merlin deeper into the pit of "Destiny",of believing that his life holds no value compared to Arthur's and everything he'll one day accomplish ( peace,a united Albion, freedom of magic users) that his magic and his only purpose is to protect Arthur until he can make all of that happen.
Which brings me back to balinor,will,and Freya. Hell I respect gilli immensely for leaving before the narrative could doom him(I think Merlin should have taken that as a sign and dipped too)but I think he should have stuck around as well,if only so Merlin had someone that it would challenge Merlin serving a regime that is opressing him and his people (even though he fully believes that by doing so he's making the golden age happen). These are all Characters who I fully believe would have body tackled Merlin anytime he tried to do another self sacrificial thing in the name of Arthur and the future of Albion because they love Merlin and either loathe Arthur or couldn't give less of a shit about him if they tried. They would have gone" you are worth 100 of him. Stop trying to throw your life away" or did their damnest to help so Merlin wouldn't have to be put in that position,even though they don't like nor care about Arthur. I fully believe will especially would have had zero problem telling destiny and kilgarrah to go fuck themselves. They would have teamed up to kidnap Merlin for breaks and to get him away from Camelot for a bit. Will might honestly just kill Arthur himself and save everyone the trouble.
They deserved to live and Merlin deserved to have them in his life dammit.
