#don thomas

As pillars of his original team he recruits...

[Manchester Black/USAgent], The Brand: Wielding the team’s titular Great Seal of the United States of America, the original figurehead team leader; [Lord/Fury]’s loyal lackey.  He uses telekinetic powers to control his flying shield as a weapon.  He doesn’t often do much of his own thinking or decision making, but when prompted to offer up his thoughts, he is quick to reveal himself as a fanatical extremist of nearly every description.

After a series of media debacles and a subsequent shuffling of team roster, he is recast as the stoic and silent big brother of the team briefly before being replaced entirely by a second Brand.  The mantle would be passed down through a long line of very short lived successors, all trying to redefine the character in some way that could prove marketable, yet the legacy would be continually marred by scandal.

[Hawk/Cloak] & [Dove/Dagger], The Talons Dexter & Sinister: The Brand’s  wingmen (hurr hurr...) and eagle themed lieutenants.  They were selected for their marketable qualities as a duo, and as thematic accessories to the Great Seal gimmick.  They possess opposed powers of temperament influence, allowing them to either inspire aggression or passivity in the people in their immediate area with focused intent.  Ironically this makes Dexter, with his pacifying powers, the most effective vanguard in battle and Sinister a better support, buffing his teammates with rushes of adrenaline, bursts of confidence, and even temporary invulnerability.

They would eventually be discharged after sustaining debilitating injuries in a tragic defeat that [Fury/Lord] orchestrated to introduce an element of drama and edge to garner public sympathies and retain interest.  The battle however would escalate out of control and go largely off script resulting in the unintended lasting injuries:  Sinister would be blinded and lose the ability to aim his powers at specific individuals (and gain the involuntary ability to use them on himself), and Dexter would develop PTSD and selective mutism.  But surprisingly they prove themselves quite effective as actual heroes after seeking therapy following their departure from S.E.A.L.

[Stargirl/Firestar], Firecracker: A somewhat distressingly young girl unwittingly roped into the superhero persona to fulfill [Lord/Fury]’s perceived need for a token female with sex appeal in order to sell the team’s image.  She is scouted from [Court of Owls/Massachusetts Academy] by the headmistress Li’l Birdie [Penguin/Emma Frost], and outfitted with some rudimentary equipment to amplify her underdeveloped and largely untrained [meta/mutant] powers, but is relegated largely to posing for photo ops.

Not long into the gig she becomes a target of sexual advances by her older male teammates, which she takes up with [Lord/Fury]. He dismisses her concerns and instead advises her to pick a team mate to date publicly, as he thinks it will make for a better team image.  Instead she takes it upon herself to reach out into the hero community outside her team to receive proper training —not willing to accept being both exploited by and then run out of the hero business, she becomes hellbent on making it as a super heroine for real.

She makes her way through several different mentors at Birdie’s recommendation, putting all her effort into tackling her self designed crash course in heroics until she becomes a competent heroine in what all her mentors regard as a shockingly short amount of time.  She returns to the team hardened and with a dramatic make over, and the next time one of her team mates sexually assaults her, she puts him in the hospital.  [Lord/Fury] isn’t especially upset however, and actually tries to leverage the whole incident to make him look like the hero for siding with Firecracker over her assailant.  This hypocrisy proves the final straw, and Firecracker leaves to join [Batman/Prof.X]’s private academy and the [Batman Family/X-Men].

[S.T.R.I.P.E./Blue Streak], Old Glory: A retired Olympian and war veteran recruited for his existing public image and appeal with older demographics.  Well past his prime as an athlete, he’s aided by an exoskeleton and armor facilitating superhuman speeds, but really he mostly keeps to clean up duty, crowd control, and publicity stunts; often just running to create a blur of red and white stripes for effect. (literally just running in circles)  He’s fine with this of course, because he’s mostly in the gig to relieve his glory days in the public limelight, rather than see any real action.  He becomes notoriously lazy and entitled, with a bad attitude even by S.E.A.L.’s notoriously low standards.

His time with the team ends, when he sexually assaults the underage Firecracker after her return from training and she overloads his exoskeleton with her powers, overextending its joints and breaking both his legs.  [Lord/Fury] drops all endorsement of him following the incident.

[Red Tornado/Beta Ray Bill], Red Chief (Later, Red Condor): The product of a private contract with [T.O.Morrow/Baron Mordo], secretly being used to serve his larger machinations.  He was initially presented to [Lord/Fury] as purely robotic and under his full control (a premise which would later prove false when the Native American wind spirit trapped inside him would gain control of his machine prison) and was deployed as an appeal for superficial "diversity points.”

After the eventual dissolution of the first S.E.A.L. team, [Lord/Fury] pushes for a more “authentic” hero team, employing cutting edge research into the study and manipulation of the [Meta/Mutant] gene to create a line of “designer” heroes, catered to his specific marketing needs.

[Major Victory/Citizen V], The Brand II: Initially recruited in a pinch to replace the original Brand, he’s actually the agent of the corrupt Atlantean noble, [Black Manta/Baron Zemo], working to help spur anti-American sentiment in Atlantis through subtle false flag tactics.

[Lady Liberty/Atlas], New Colossus: A female body builder hired after Firecracker left the team.  She was chosen to fill the new found niche appeal factor for a muscular heroine that Firecracker brought to light after her intensive training.

[Silent Majority/Screaming Mimi], Anthem (aka Vox Populi): An unsuccessful opera singer who volunteered for [Lord/Fury]’s designer [meta/mutant] gene project in hopes of attaining fame an fortune.  He has the power to create duplicates of himself (but only up to four, and not capable of autonomous thought) as well as bionic implants to weaponize his voice.

[Mayflower/Amazon], American Beauty: Another of [Lord/Fury]’s designer [meta/mutant] with the ability to control plant-life and a penchant for tormenting men, hero, villain, and civilian alike.  (Honestly I don’t know what to do with her that’s not just Poison Ivy...)

[Skyman/Mach-I], Full-Mast: A kind of informal legacy character to Old Glory.  His flight suit is based on Old Glory’s speedster exoskeleton.  The unfortunate euphemism of a name after the circumstances of his predecessor aside, he earns the nickname Half-Mast, because he frequently makes a point of flying low to make sure his face is seen in public.

[Sparkler/Techno], Hallmark: Tech whiz, boy hero put in charge of the team’s equipment, he’s basically a superhero ball boy.  Marketable as cute and chipper with a kind of old fashioned boy-ish charm.  He’s the first to die when [Lord/Fury] decides his new team needs some drama. (think the iconic death of Bucky, Jason Todd, and Supergirl covers.)

In [Lord/Fury]’s quest for wealth and acclaim he also becomes well acquainted with [Toyman/Norman Osborn] and his son, [Dollmaker/Harry Osborn].  The family of toy manufacturers are at first rivals and later accomplices in [Lord/Fury]’s marketing crusades.  Their compulsive and often manic love of superheroes fuels their stalker-like fanboy tendencies and feel the need to insert themselves into the lives of heroes by any means, even as antagonists.  They become in turn [Lord/Fury]’s crisis engineers when he begins more heavily scripting S.E.A.L.’s adventures.

This was definitely not meant to be as long as it turned out, or involve as many specific character combinations.  This team is such a heinous mess of a concept and got so wildly out of hand before I really noticed.  I can’t help but love coming up with these disastrous characters, though.  I definitely meant for them to be more of a joke than a tragedy at first, but something about the tone of it all had me inadvertently channeling a little bit of Garth Ennis’ The Boys.  I just like the idea of a bunch of delusional wannabes, glory hogs, and narcissists posing as super heroes.