#dolblr

CHARACTERS : M!Bailey, M!Leighton, M!Remy, M!Wren, M!Avery, M!Robin, M!Kylar, M!Alex, M!Whitney, M!AnxiousGuard + F!PC

WORD COUNT : 55k+

GENRE : humour / slow-burn chaos / romance / crack

AUTHOR NOTE : An ongoing faux-celebreality dating show nobody asked for, starring Rapechester’s finest disasters. If you enjoy humour, bleak absurdism, and aggressive dairy product placement, please give it a look.

Less horny, more comedy!

SUMMARY : Locally famous but legally illiterate high-fame farmer (F!PC) signs on a reality dating show due to some undue influence from the strange purple flowers and a major misunderstanding.

One reluctant bachelorette, ten contestants, one manor on the moor, a cash prize, a ludicrous contract, and a metric tonne of Remy’s sponsored milk ads.

Trash telly meets black humour. Hilarity ensues. Is it true love or is it just the dosh?

STATUS : Recently Updated on Ao3 - Avery’s here now! | MDNI

So, without further ado, I present the casting tapes from Love on the Moor. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────WHITNEY───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The camera is vertical at first, then gets flipped sideways with a thumbprint smudge. It’s clearly shot in 240p on a burner phone, and the audio crackles.

Whitney’s standing on a rooftop overlooking Connudatus Street at night, hoodie up, chain swinging. Lynx Africa fog is literally visible around him, distorting the glow of the security light. His blonde fringe covers one eye, eyebrow ring catching the lamplight. 

He starts with a sharp grin, “My name’s Whitney, don’t forget it, ya fucking cunts. I’ve known PC since secondary school, and we’ve had a lot of fun times together. Days spent beating the shite out of each other, nights spent at the pub getting pissed, romantic blow jobs in the boys' lavatory, and don’t forget our times in River’s math class – I sure don’t.”

He crudely pats his clothed bulge and smirks wistfully. “Probably taught her everything she knows about being a slag…she’s gone down on half the town as I knew it.” 

He shifts to the side, gesturing towards the wall behind. Behind him is a graffiti heart sprayed on the wall, with his name and yours, written in your handwriting. The years have faded it, but it’s still legible.

Whitney smirks cockily at the lens, bat resting on his shoulder. “See that? She sprayed it herself. Back when she knew what was what. Always was mine. Always will be.”

He swings the bat into an industrial aircon unit. The metal bends with a clang, and he laughs, chain glinting.

“If you lot pick me, you’ll have made the best decision of your lives. Bird’s a slut, but she’s my slut. Always complicated, us two till she became my girlfriend. Not that she had a choice, anyway. But yeah, I miss the slut.”

The camera wobbles as he points the bat directly into the lens. 

“So if you don’t pick me… I’ll bash your fucking heads in.” He threatens, half-seriously.

He sprays another cloud of Lynx Africa over himself, coughs, then spits on the ground. The video ends abruptly when he smacks the phone with the bat.

The video games in question:

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information request: I’ve got a client who’s looking for a Teresa head to match her Secret Locket Kayla with the Teresa 90 mold, do you folks know which if any of the larger eyed Teresas from 92 to 98 are that pale or was “Kayla” a one off? I can’t tell skintones that well from photos but I thought maybe dollblr might have had Jewel Hair, Sparkle Beach, Pearl Beach. Any ideas if Kayla is Barbie old school orange or would be a match with a 2000s Teresa in caucasian?