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“And then he’ll just be a sad bard, twerking in a field alone.”
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This will never stop being funny to me
best part of Dnd is when i get to hang out with the DM’s kid’s before they get put to bed. They’re so great and I love making them laugh. Tonight I didn’t have a lot of energy so i was worried I wouldn’t be able to keep up with their antics but we were able to make a game where I tried to steal their toys with my feet while I was sitting on the couch. After I caught one they would rescue them and bring them to safety away from the evil foot monster. The youngest was so cute, they would push the toys closer to me so I could grab them more easily but they were also the most invested in rescuing the toys.
My sweet goblin baby used wail of the banshee to essentially screech at the enemy until they died tonight. She killed a whole fortress of spellweavers by screaming. I've never felt more connected to a character since starting dnd
Player: can I dab on him as a bonus action
Dm: roll for style points
Player: it's a one
Dm: you dislocate your shoulder
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*cobalds on horses pass by our camp*
Player: Can I follow them?
DM: No. *attempts to go on with the campaign*
Player: But I want to follow the horses.
DM: They are unimportant to the story.
Player: But... horses.
DM: Fine. You follow the horses, but you are much too slow and just end up getting lost after a few minutes.
Player: I go back to camp.
DM: You can’t. You’re lost. The only thing in sight is a few trees and some bushes.
Player: I shall become a tree.
DM: You can’t—
Player: *already making a tree pose* *mumbles* I am one with the trees.
DM: Fine. *goes on with the game*
Player: *constantly trying to roll initiative and remembering he’s a tree and can’t*
Out of Context DnD Quotes (part 2)
“Always pee before DnD”
“There’s a HORSE in the TAVERN”
“Annabelle the science goat.” “GOAT GOAT GOAT GOAT!!”
“SSHHHHH GOD CAN MAKE MISTAKES TOO.”
“I did a brain thing”
“He is wanted for a most serious crime..... felony tax evasion.” *gasps from the party*
Don’t forget you’re also carrying 10,000 gp, a bronze statuette, and 4 others weapons in your inventory. So, jumping off the ship probably wasn’t the best idea.
