Aug 2
You might be in her DMs but I’m in her DND party.
@trustorbelieve
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You might be in her DMs but I’m in her DND party.
@trustorbelieve
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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bromelain is an enzyme found in pineapples and also the human body it's an enzyme that tenderizes meat which is why when you eat pineapples a tingling feeling is felt in your mouth it's basically the pineapple trying to eat you my idea is that there's a species of bees that primarily are suited for colder temperatures they have all those adaptations but instead of feeding on and making honey they make something called blood pineapple honey and it's mainly made from what the bees eat live pray live pray are pretty much anything they can get their hands on their opportunistic and the way that they do it essentially during the winter years they stop making honey from plants and stuff from like pollen and stuff like they're still able to make honey but during the winter years they essentially go into predator mode where they go and find animals that are going into hibernation or that are entering hibernation or torpoor that weird state where they going to power saving mode they essentially swam around those creatures and feed off of them by releasing that bromelain tenderizing a small bit flesh and taking it back to the hive but not before secret antiseptic type secretion from their bodies making it so any wounds that they make heal the so they can feed on it later and the reason why they're called blood pineapple honey is because of both it's red color and it's pineapple like smell and taste but also because it has that same tingling feeling that you feel when eating pineapples and it's completely easy it's completely edible for people to eat but only when it's red if it's any other color or it doesn't smell like pineapples then it's not made of blood for example there's brown honey that's made from rotten corpses and feces that is even more dangerous because despite the pineapple bees being immune to the poison to the poisonous and all the enzymes that are in the feces and the rotten corpses you are not immune to it in fact it is much it is actually incredibly deadly and eating them could cause symptoms ranging diarrhea vomiting nausea stomach cramps basically all of the conditions relating to drinking septic tank contaminated water to it's more lethal symptoms such as botulism brain eating amoebas and a whole host of other bad things
And that’s how I accidentally blinded my entire party 😌
The Gods Are Mad
If you don’t know what this is don’t blame yourself I don’t think most people do.
“The Gods Are Mad” is a optional rule that appears in the DMG book for DND, the rule is players have a special point which they can use to become the DM until they’re overthrown by another player.
But that’s boring so let’s make it luck based, whenever a player rolls a nut 20 they become the DM and the former DM takes control of their character, doesn’t that sound so much better?
So that’s how me and a group of friends ended up fighting the king in yellow in a museum.
The D&D session ended in maybe the funniest way possible. Our cleric had to abruptly leave the session because his baby had an ear infection had to go home and help the wife with it. So the three of us (Sorcerer, Paladin, Wizard) continued on but then shortly after we encountered a werewolf-thing that immediately downed the wizard and bloodied the fuck out of the paladin who had a high AC and a lot of HP.
It was then I proposed that the three of us get up from the table and leave so that during the next session our cleric can come back and help with this encounter that we know will include two more extremely dangerous werewolves, citing that the DM can't stop us from doing this.
When me and the paladin couldn't take down the werewolf in our subsequent turns we got up and left.
Was it in honorable move? No. Was it the correct one? Yes. Was it hilarious? Absolutely.
I'm just glad the DM thought it was also really funny. He also admitted that we managed to roll the most dangerous thing on his encounter table, a monster he included because it looked cool.
It was just so funny because we were trudging through a swamp for several days to find a corpse so we can put a dangerous road ghost to rest and we straight up did not have any real dangerous encounters but then nearly the moment our cleric left we basically got jumped by a Prime Mike Tyson if he was a werewolf
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Please hold, Rerolling my charisma stat…
You may now add 1d6 to your roll 👏
Enjoy some quotes from today's D&D session:
- "I think we dropped some people."
- *In squirrel voice* "I'm a wiZaRd!'
- *silence* "we should murder someone"
- "What's your name?" "I don't know how to say it"
-"Do we still have a gang of rats?"
-"let the rats lead!"
-"let the lats read"
-"are any of the rats gay?"
-"there's a feature called aids?"
-"Don't touch the gay rat! Don't touch my son!"
- "J-O-B" "No cursing!"
-"Wench! Wench! Wench! Wench!"
- "The goblin doesn't exist, you're schizophrenic."
- "You just see this little skinny dude just fly off the cart screaming the whole time like *High pitched scream*"
-"They just go flying like bowling pins" "strike"
-"You guys just committed the first car accident"
- "You're making people diglets!"
- "This is tame." "This is TAME?!?"
- "Hold up everyone hit the gangem style real quick" "In the courtroom?" "Over the body!"
- "the rats are all strapped to each other just dangling"
-"For the sake of rat humanity" "no, no, no rat humanity!"
-"the rats are all spread out like skid marks for ten feet" "no my rats!"
- "the road was renamed rat road because it's just entirely made of rats now."
- "can I roll charisma to try rizzing up one of the guards?"
- "I'm lonely" (he wanted to rizz up a guard)
- "who are we throwing under the bus?"
- "guys, guys, what if we use our brains.. the things we don't have."
- *JoJo pose*
-"Wench! Show me your ankles!"