I don't understand how humans can hate their offspring enough to torture it — eating me alive as a newborn would have been merciful, this was the opposite of anything resembling mercy. I cried to God for years and begged Him to show Himself to me, to prove Himself real by breaking my arm so I could get a hot pink cast and all my classmates could sign it and I could feel loved. In the purpling pink glow of the sunset I realize only now that God seemed to be the only who seemed to love me then, enough to not hurt me on purpose. He couldn't intervene on Earth, but I've never broken a bone.

I wanted so desperately to be perfectly talented at just one thing that I made myself pretty decent at several things and still found the energy inside to hate myself afterwards. When I think of it as the small child I was who was left alone for hours and days on end I want to cry and tell it how proud I am, and I struggle to see me as that small child, so the cognitive dissonance continues as I afford the patience and praise I needed to everyone else instead

if tootie wakes up im going to KILL mythelf

If Im faking this disorder why is there still a blue haired monkey band brit in my head next to a traumatized prostitute and redneck hannibal lectern.

Okay... have I mentioned how much I fucking hate Tourette Syndrome? I fucking swear Teen must have been in denial about how bad it is. I don’t know how tf he handled this. Maybe he had to accept it to cope. But this is fucking rough! Have to worry about sudden sounds and flashing lights so We don’t fucking seize! It is so fucking painful! Frustrating to speak! Tourette’s trips up my speech, which sets off tourette’s... WTF kind of design is that? Anyway... Animal’s pain isn’t the point of this post... Have I resorted to speak in the 3rd person to lessen confusion? I guess. I had a Teen tic. What I mean is I saw something that was... let’s say... aesthetically pleasing... it hurt... HARD tic. Why? I think it was Teen that had a theory about that. Like We see someone attractive and our neurological condition is just warning them about genetics. Like, “Hey... You’re kids could end up just like this. You have been warned!”

Oh FUG! Got too fucking high again! I can't imagine why We keep tolerance fucking ourself?! Jeezus, man! I know you're upset but you really need to chill. It's okay, man. We're all okay. And We're gonna continue to be okay as We continue to move forward. We will get through this. You and I and the others. We are all going to be okay. Even better than that someday. I promise you. We all need to promise to make that our main goal. Happiness. Whatever that may mean to us. Not perfection. Not misery. Not in the middle. Where ever We want to be. We don't know who We are 🤣😂👀🙄🤔😱😅🤣