#disabled irl

The world is pretty much rigged against us, but we deserve to live too. We deserve love and connection and respect and compassion and support.

You dont need a yoga mat if you cant afford it, you can use carpet or rug instead. I used to just use my blanket although it does slide around. If youre gonna buy something but plan to do yoga at home just get whatevers cheapest, the only advantage a yoga mat has over a rug is its easier to carry around if youre going to the park or smthn because its lighter.

Context: I can’t keep a fucking schedule even as I’m out of my freshman year of college, I can’t understand some of these questions, I have chronic pain that makes getting and holding a job INCREDIBLY difficult to begin with, and the person who is supposed to be helping me is instead turning her fucking radio up and being very unhelpful.

Yes I somehow *do* manage to keep a schedule but that’s a shit ton of alarms and effort, and even with the routine it’s very difficult to accomplish anything because my joints fucking hurt. They lock up so bad sometimes and even if they aren’t locked they hurt.

On top of that, I am autistic and have severe agoraphobia. Even if I understood how to maintain a customer service face and how to interact with people (I still don’t know how to do it even with the script), the anxiety of interacting with people makes me physically unwell.

And work reminds me of it more and more. I am trying so hard to find and maintain a job so I can afford school/medication/a car/future rent and to pay my grandmother back for everything she does to help me. And I am STRESSING.