#direct objects

What you're asking is the difference between a reflexive and an indirect object; and I'm going to start with a reflexive because I find them easier to understand

A reflexive is when the subject and object are the same - something one does to themselves (or in reciprocal/plural, something multiple people do to each other)

The basic example that I always like to use is lavar "to wash" - you can lavar la ropa "wash clothes", and lavar a alguien "to wash someone", and in this case the "clothes" and "someone" are considered direct objects [things that receive the action of the verb, as in, the clothes are what is getting washed etc]

A reflexive would be lavarse "to wash oneself"

You have lavarse las manos "to wash one's hands", literally "to wash oneself the hands" - the idea being that it is yourself, the hands are just part of you and obviously part of you (this is a thing that happens with many body parts where ownership is considered implied) - so you are the one washing and the one being washed. That's reflexive. And what is being washed is "the hands", which are the direct object here

Please note - there are other ways reflexives are used, and specifically times se shows up that aren't truly reflexive, and I don't want to confuse you or bog you down with more information than you need but just be aware there's the basic true "reflexive", and then also there are times when se shows up for seemingly no reason and it's just grammatical quirks of Spanish

I think I understand what you're saying. To answer your question, yes and no. They're the same word - nos, but they technically equate to different things linguistically

If you're asking if it really makes a difference, it doesn't in the sense that it's always nos for "us", but they are ~ technically ~ different fulfilling different functions.

Your biggest struggles are going to be 3rd person because they don't use the same object pronouns. If you're trying to tell the difference between "cases", it's going to depend on the actual verb you're using

A quick example:

Nos llevaron al aeropuerto. = They brought us to the airport. [direct object "us"] Nos enviaron las flores. = They sent us flowers. [indirect object "us"]

And not to mention reflexives [me, te, se, nos, os], where you might see nos casamos "we got married" / "we're getting married" [casamos is the present tense nosotros and also preterite nosotros, so it could read as either depending on context]

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I struggle with that.

They're different object pronouns

Object pronouns are used when you're using pronouns - "I", "you", "he", "she" etc. - but you're using them as objects instead, meaning they're recipients of actions

In English this is like when "I" turns to "me", "he" to "him", "she" to "her", "we" to "us"

Primarily there are two sets of object pronouns you need to watch out for - direct objects and indirect objects

The se most often comes up with reflexives so I will also explain them, but you're mostly mentioning direct and indirect objects there

"Extendió su chaqueta sobre el suelo y acostóse en él"

Would the sentence be equally as correct if it said se acostó? This quote is from a Spain-Spanish translation of a book I'm reading. I'm most unfamiliar with Iberian Spanish--Is it a regional thing to do that with pronouns?

So, in general you rarely see the reflexive markers attached to a single conjugated verb like acostóse today. To me, I see that and I think of older Spanish. Specifically today, that's the kind of language I would associate with the Bible, like it seems a tiny bit out of fashion to me

I remember reading Don Quixote and seeing something like mirábanla for la miraban and finding that a bit odd

The most typical everyday Spanish follows these general rules:

If it's one conjugated verb, the pronomial will most often precede that verb - it should be right behind the conjugated verb [i.e. se acostó and you don't separate the two words as they're considered more or less connected]

If it's an unconjugated verb that uses a pronomial such as a substantive verb [treating a verb as a noun] and the verb is in its infinitive form, the pronomial will be attached to the infinitive [e.g. al despertarme "upon waking up / upon me waking"; you can also use this with direct or indirect objects, sometimes both so you might see al decírselo "upon saying it to them"]

If it's more than one verb - with at least one conjugated and one unconjugated - you can put the pronomial or object pronoun all at the beginning of the phrase, or all attached to the infinitive (or potentially the gerund, more on that in the next one) [e.g. me quiero duchar "I want to take a shower" or quiero ducharme "I want to take a shower"; quiero is the one conjugated, duchar is the unconjugated/infinitive]

Both forms are considered acceptable and correct and a matter of personal style

However, if there's more than 2 verbs, you're more likely to see it all attached to the last verb; quiero seguir duchándome "I want to keep showering/taking showers" is more common than me quiero seguir duchando]

If it's a reflexive or pronomial verb in its gerund/progressive form [basically the "-ing" form] without a separate verb serving as a modal verb [a helping verb], the pronomial is attached to the gerund [in other words, you typically use gerund forms with estar, ir, andar, or seguir... some kind of "is", or it's a verb of motion/continuation; so in this case acostando is the gerund form so it's "to put down/to lay down"; it takes a pronomial so it's acostándose "lying down" as a reflexive... you can say, se está acostando "he/she is lying down" or está acostándose "he/she is lying down"; but by itself it would be like y acostándose en el suelo "and lying down on the ground"... where it's the gerund form without a helping verb, but it's still reflexive... they sort of treat it like it's a singular conjugated verb because the gerund is technically a verb form though not strictly a "conjugation"]

...

All of that to say, if it's something like quiero ducharme it CAN be me quiero duchar and it's considered correct

As a command, mírame / míreme / mírenme "look at me" (depending on who you're addressing" it can only be attached that way....... if you say me mira it looks like present tense "he/she is looking at me"

Same thing with direct/indirect objects; quiero lavarlo "I want to wash it" could be lo quiero lavar same as quiero lavarme / me quiero lavar "I want to wash (myself) up"; or me está mirando "he/she is looking at me" vs. está mirándome "he/she is looking at me".... all of those are valid options

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Additionally:

Sometimes you see direct + indirect objects together, or direct and reflexive verbs together

Lo quiero decir. = I want to say it. Quiero decirlo. = I want to say it. Le quiero decir. = I want to tell him/her. Quiero decirle. = I want to tell him/her. Se lo quiero decir. = I want to tell it to him/her/them. Quiero decírselo. = I want to tell it to him/her/them

Same thing with gerund/progressive forms; me lo está diciendo "he/she is telling me it" and está diciéndomelo "he/she is telling me it" are both valid options

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But know that for affirmative commands, any pronomials or direct/indirect objects are attached to commands

Affirmative commands are ALWAYS combined

But in negative commands they are ALWAYS separate

dame eso = give me that dámelo = give it to me no me des eso = don't give me that no me lo des = don't give me it dime = tell me dímelo = tell me (it/about it) no me digas = don't tell me no me lo digas = don't tell (it to) me

So you'll see something like dame tu juguete "give me your toy" and then something like no me des excusas "don't give me excuses"

Same with pronomials:

It's actually different constructions

te amo is using a direct object; me encantas is using an indirect object

encantar "to enchant" or "to really like" is one of the "gustar verbs"... which is to say, verbs that take indirect objects like gustar

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With direct objects like te amo "I love you" it's very similar to English; "I" is the subject, amo "love" (which is for yo) is the verb, and te is the object

With indirect objects like me encantas it translates like "I really like you"... but literally it's "you are really pleasing to me" or "you enchant me"

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To put it more simply, take gustar

me gusta el libro may come out like "I like the book" but it is literally "the book pleases me" or "the book gives me joy"

This is why you'll see me gustan los libros which is "I like books"... but literally "books give me joy" or something to that effect

......

A sentence like te gusto comes out as "you like me" but it's "I give you joy", and me gustas is "I like you" but literally "you give me joy"

Same with encantar; te encanto or me encantas like this

With no sé and no lo sé as set phrases in the absence of other context, I'd say they're interchangeable

The key difference is that lo is a stand-in for a noun, kind of like an "it" or a "that"

Saying no sé is "I don't know", and no lo sé is "I don't know (it/that)"

Like if someone asks you for information and you don't know, I would think no lo sé is more common

Usually no sé is followed by a qualifying statement (but not always)

No sé dónde está. = I don't know where he/she/it is. No lo sé. = I don't know (it/that). No sé la respuesta. = I don't know the answer. No lo sé. = I don't know. No sé cómo funciona esa máquina. = I don't know how that machine works. No lo sé. = I don't know.

You also don't use the lo if there's an infinitive that follows.

No sé conducir. = I don't know how to drive. No sé bailar. = I don't know how to dance. No sé tocar el piano. = I don't know how to play the piano. No sé jugar al ajedrez. = I don't know how to play chess.

But just as a basic statement, I think it could be either. I think the lo makes more sense in reference to something that was just stated, but as a basic "I don't know" no sé makes perfect sense.

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Again, just a general rule for direct objects, lo or la is used as a stand-in for the noun, depending on gender of the noun itself.

As in... escribo el libro "I write the book" becomes lo escribo "I write it"; and escribo la estrofa "I write the stanza" becomes la escribo "I write it"

Basic direct objects become "it" or potentially "him/her" when someone or something is acted upon... "directly"

In basic phrases you'll see lo come up when there's an implied object... commonly things like te lo prometo "I promise you (that)" or te lo juro "I swear (it) to you"

Direct objects are basically what amounts to the accusative case for languages with case systems.

Basically it works like this: Subject verbs an object

The object that is “verbed” is the direct object; it receives the action and is directly acted upon.

So in a sentence like “I kick the ball”, the “I” is the subject, “kick” is the verb, and “the ball” is the object.

The pronouns are:

me = yo

te = tú

lo/la = 3ra persona singular / usted

los/las = 3ra persona plural / ustedes

nos = nosotros

os* = vosotros

*if you’re in Spain

Direct objects are most common with inanimate objects, so you need to know the gender of the object.

If it’s “I kick the ball” it would be pateo la pelota and so la pelota “the ball” is feminine… so la pateo “I kick it”, where “it” is the pronoun for “the ball” which is implied.

But you could say compro el libro “I buy the book”, or lo compro “I buy it”, and it’s masculine because el libro is masculine.

Same general idea exists for plural.

Indirect objects are the dative case for languages with case systems.

These mark “to whom” or “for whom” an action is done, and many times indirect object pronouns are used for people, animals, or personified objects.

The pronouns here are:

me = yo

te = tú

le = 3ra persona singular / usted

les = 3ra persona plural / ustedes

nos = nosotros

os* = vosotros

*again for Spain

You get introduced to indirect objects first with gustar

me gusta el libro = I like the book [lit. “the book pleases me”]me gustan los libros = I like the books [lit. “the books please me”]

Again, this is normally a person who receives the action of a verb… but not directly.

In other words… “I send the letter” is mando la carta and in here, la carta is the direct object. 

The person who receives the action of “sending the letter” is its recipient… so te mando la carta “I send the letter to you”, or le mando la carta “I send the letter to him/her”

Direct and indirect objects do show up together, just like in English.

Luckily, as you’ve probably noticed it’s only 3rd person singular and plural that change, so even if you don’t totally know whether the me is technically direct or indirect, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still me

But for other sentences it’s more particular.

Because Spanish is a little more vague with the pronouns, it’s more based on implied knowledge. Like if I say “it”, it should be obvious what I’m referring to or the pronoun kind of feels weird in Spanish.

In general, if you don’t know what it should be, you tend to say lo but if you have the noun already at hand, you need to know its gender.

Te mando la carta. = I send you the letter.Te la mando. = I send it to you.

Te mando el paquete. = I send you the package.Te lo mando. = I send it to you.

Te mando las flores. = I send you the flowers.Te las mando. = I send them (f) to you.

Te mando los chocolates. = I send you the chocolates.Te los mando. = I send them (m) to you. 

Where it gets a little more confusing is that when 3rd person meets 3rd person for indirect + direct, the indirect objects [le/les] change into se

This is because if you had le/les + lo/la/los/las it would sound really weird and trip you up when you speak.

The se here serves no grammatical purpose other than just to replace the le/les so it’s not super awkward:

Le mando la carta. = I send him/her the letter.Se la mando. = I send it to him/her.Les mando la carta. = I send them the letter.Se la mando. = I send it to them.

Le mando el paquete. = I send him/her the package.Se lo mando. = I send it to him/her.Les mando el paquete. = I send them the package.Se lo mando. = I send it to them.

Le mando las flores. = I send him/her the flowers.Se las mando. = I send them to him/her.Les mando las flores. = I send them the flowers.Se las mando. = I send them to them.

Le mando los chocolates. = I send him/her the chocolates.Se los mando. = I send them to him/her.Les mando los chocolates. = I send them the chocolates.Se los mando. = I send them to them.

*Note: Because se here could be le or les, it’s sometimes common to write a (sujeto) to make it clear who you’re talking about.

That’s common with indirect objects just in general. When it’s obvious like me gusta, saying a mí me gusta comes off as very emphatic “I’m the one who likes it” or “well, I like it [implying someone else didn’t]”

With le and les it could refer to “him”, “her”, “You”,“them”, “You all”…  and “them” could be masculine or feminine.

So when it’s ambiguous and hasn’t been stated, sometimes people will just add the a to make it clear:

Se lo mando (a él). = I’m sending it to him.

Se los mando (a ella). = I’m sending them to her.

Se la mando (a usted). = I’m sending it to you.

Se la mando (a ellos). = I’m sending it to them (m+m, m+f)Se la mando (a ellas). = I’m sending it to them (f+f)

Se las mando (a ustedes). = I’m sending them to you guys.

And really you could have the direct object [lo/la/los/las] be anything.

When the direct object is a person, it can be a little weird. 

In Latin America it’s more common to say something like:

Lo conozco (a él). = I know him.La conozco (a ella). = I know her.

in Spain, it depends on the region, but most places will say le conozco instead. Though some regions in Spain use the direct objects. There are other regional variations, but Spain typically favors the use of indirect objects when it’s a person or animate object to denote personhood or life.

There’s some debate over how active the object is… Like a verb like ayudar could be interpreted with direct or indirect objects. And based on this reasoning, le ayudo is like “I help him/her” but in the sense that they’re accepting help… and lo/la ayudo “I help him/her” makes the object more passive.

I find people will understand you regardless so don’t worry about it too much. Latin America favors the direct objects for people, but will use the indirect objects for people in very formal situations.

In my textbooks it used to say: es un placer conocerle “it’s nice to meet you”, and I also have some where it’s like es un placer conocerLa a usted, señora “it’s a pleasure to meet you, madam”

In general, I’d be using lo/la people, even if they were usted. But I think es un placer conocerte is pretty commonplace. And conocerle sounds real formal to me.

Verbs that typically use direct objects with people (to the best of my knowledge)

golpear = to hit

castigar = to punish

querer = to love [more Latin America]

amar = to love (passionately) [more Latin America]

juzgar = to judge

lastimar = to hurt, to injure

olvidar = to forget

perdonar = to forgive

llevar = to carry / to bring

tomar = to take

ayudar = to help [sometimes indirect objects are used]

mirar = to watch / to stare at [sometimes indirect objects are used]

llamar = to call

conocer = to know (someone/a place)

encontrar = to find

buscar = to look for

tener = to have

ver = to see

Verbs that typically use indirect objects (with a person)

dar = to give

enviar = to send

mandar = to send

culpar / echar la culpa = to blame

sugerir = to suggest

ofrecer = to offer

enseñar = to teach / to show, to point out

servir = to serve

traer = to bring

pedir = to request

decir = to say

contar = to tell

hacer daño = to harm, to do harm

hacer caso = to pay attention to, to mind, to heed

prometer = to promise

jurar = to swear

echar de menos = to miss (someone) [Spain]extrañar = to miss (someone) [Lat Am]

…also the gustar verbs, though some gustar verbs work in different applications:

gustar = to like

encantar = to really like[encantar can also take direct objects but it means “to enchant” or “to bewitch” in this case, as in using magic on an object]

sorprender = to surprise

fascinar = to fascinate

quedar bien/mal = to fit well/poorly (said of clothes)

doler = to hurt, to ache

parecer = to seem

resultar[used like… me resulta familiar “it seems familiar to me”, or me resulta curioso “I find it strange”]

extrañar = to find strange, to seem odd [when it isn’t “to miss someone”]

costar = to be difficult for someone

molestar = to annoy

interesar = to interest

importar = to matter, to care about

I would also recommend:

Anatomy of Spanish: Direct Objects

Anatomy of Spanish: Indirect Objects

That’s a more quick and easy explanation of them.

Also, reflexive verbs are a thing but they’re easier.

Reflexive verbs are part of a subset of things known as “pronomial verbs”, which for your purposes means “they use the reflexive pronouns but might not always be reflexive in the traditional sense”

…So that’s a thing I’ll explain briefly later on.

me = yo

te = tú

se = 3ra persona singular y plural / usted y ustedes

nos = nosotros

os = vosotros

The se is the one to watch here because all of 3rd person and usted and ustedes use that se. They’re usually easier to spot though because of how reflexive verbs conjugate. More on that in a minute.

But reflexives in their truest sense are divided into regular reflexives and reciprocal reflexives.

The basic definition of reflexives are “verbs where the subject and the object are the same”… meaning “I do something to myself”, “you do something to yourself”…

A lot of reflexives show up in your daily routine, and also apply to you doing things to your own body parts… me lavo la cara reads literally as “I wash myself the face” but it means “I wash my face”… or me lavo las manos “I wash my hands”

A reflexive needs the pronoun to match with the subject… in other words me refers to yo, and lavo only conjugates as yo… so me lavo is “I wash myself”

If you mixed up one or the other, you’d end up with a different sentence and a direct/indirect meaning… me lavas “you wash me” or te lavo “I wash you”… are not reflexive.

Because reflexive pronouns need to match the conjugations, you can usually tell who it applies to pretty easily, except in third person where it could be ambiguous:

Me pongo la ropa. = I put on clothes.

Te pones la ropa. = You put on clothes

(Él) se pone la ropa. = He puts on clothes.(Ella) se pone la ropa. = She puts on clothes.(Usted) se pone la ropa. = You put on clothes.

(Ellos) se ponen la ropa. = They (m+m, m+f) put on clothes.(Ellas) se ponen la ropa. = They (f+f) put on clothes.(Ustedes) se ponen la ropa. = You all put on clothes.

Nos ponemos la ropa. = We put on clothes.

In the same vein, a “reciprocal reflexive” is where two or more subjects do something to one another.

Nos conocemos. = We know each other.Nos conocimos. = We met each other.Nos conocíamos. = We used to know each other.

Se conocen. = They know each other.Se conocieron. = They met each other.Se conocían. = They used to know each other.

Sometimes it’s potentially ambiguous, but when it could be you normally see el uno al otro, el uno del otro, or el uno con el otro depending on the verb in question. And that just means “one another”.

That formation is more uncommon but it has happened. Normally it’s just phrased as reflexive and you understand it by context.

abrazar a alguien = to hug someoneSe abrazaron. = They hugged. / They hugged one another.Se abrazaron el uno al otro. = They hugged one another.

enamorarse de alguien = to fall in love with someoneSe enamoraron. = They fell in love.Se enamoraron el uno del otro. = They fell in love with each other.casarse con alguien = to get married to someoneSe casaron. = They got married.Se casaron el uno con el otro. = They got married to each other.

Other ones would be like besarse “to kiss / to make out”, or divorciarse “to get divorced”, or reunirse “to meet up / to join together”

And then there are the other pronomial verbs that use reflexive but you can’t exactly say they translate very reflexively.

Like dormir is “to sleep” but dormirse means “to fall asleep”. It’s not like “one sleeps themselves”…

This is part of something called dativo ético which is a whole big thing that is kind of a lot, but basically it used a reflexive marker to show there’s something significant for the person it refers to, and it’s usually translated into English with some kind of additional word or preposition

Like mudar is “to mutate/change/molt”, and mudarse is “to move away (residences)”, or ir is “to go” and irse is “to go away/to leave”, or quedar is “to remain” and quedarse is “to stay behind”

That depends on whether the noun in question is masculine or feminine. For direct objects, it’s about gender and singularity/plurality. In translations, the direct object is normally understood as “it”

So...

Masculine

Tengo un paraguas. = I have an umbrella.Lo tengo. = I have it.

Tengo dinero. = I have money.Lo tengo. = I have it.

Tengo los zapatos. = I have the shoes.Los tengo. = I have them.

Tengo los libros. = I have the books.Los tengo. = I have them.

Feminine

Tengo una bufanda. = I have a scarf.La tengo. = I have it.

Tengo la respuesta. = I have the answer.La tengo. = I have it.

Tengo ideas. = I have ideas.Las tengo. = I have them.