That fic is such a mess of different influences; for the Pastry AU bit, I was standing in sugar class contemplating pulling sugar petals or blowing fruit or something, (also my ridiculous heat rash all over my arms from the lamps) watching as one of my classmates’ bases for their showpiece shattered for what was probably the five millionth time, and I was thinking about why does anyone write coffee shop aus it should totally be pastry school aus.

Cut to actually trying to write it Solavellan, and I wasn’t really all that comfortable with writing Solas as a chef/instructor and Lavellan as a student. So the opening scene came about; Solas finding her on the highway after a car crash, which was a normal car crash at the time. (I fought that opening scene so hard. It was only going to happen the way it wanted to; I was going for something so completely non dramatic. She was going to be a hitch hiker. They were going to chat about existential things while she propped her bare feet up on the dashboard)

And as for Fenris; I’d discovered during Rebel Heart that I really enjoyed writing his POV, and I thought it would be fun to write him and Lavellan as room mates; also a good way to get him into the whole culinary school scenario. Chapters 1 and 2 were at first draft more or less as you see them in the published fic; Chapters 3-8 were all crammed into chapter 3, all that good stuff glossed over, and I rushed to get into the Anchor acting up.

At this point, I had a ridiculous idea. Probably the most ridiculous I’ve ever had. My friend who was reading all of these chapters to this point asked me why Lavellan was so scared of Solas; what happened between them. Her terror of him was so visceral, even in the early draft that ended up being expanded on, and even to me it seemed too much for him to just be the Dread Wolf.

So I pitched the Big Twist. She liked it, and I went back and Chapter 3 became Chapters 3-8. (I think at this point I realised I was in this for the long run, and it was not going to be a quick fic. I had a period of mourning for my free time.)

My friend is also to be blamed for the text message chapters. She wanted to know what Varric and Aevalle were texting one another in the final draft of chapter 3, so I wrote it for her. They ended up being so much damn fun that I couldn’t stop writing them.

I think the chapters with the flashbacks, the sort of downward spiral of the chapters leading up to the end there; those were unfortunately influenced by the job I was working when I got into the writing of those. I was extremely under appreciated there, it was mind-numbing work that was easy and repetitive, and I was very underpaid. I think the story drawing away from pastry/culinary elements are a definite side effect of that, too. I was sort of drifting, feeling like I’d made a terrible decision to work there (I had) and feeling sort of trapped. I quit, which is probably for the best let’s be real here. But Whetstone gets pretty dark at a point, and I think that’s sort of where it came from.

AS FOR REBEL HEART I actually can’t even pick a favourite thing about it I love it so much. Is it cool to like your own work? I hope so because I love that fic. It’s the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written.

I think I like the pacing, the way it takes a few chapters to get started but then it surges forward and keeps up momentum. I especially like all the little flashbacks, every time Cole opens his adorable mouth.

Actully maybe it’s the part where Aevalle turns around, sees a Wolf, and immediately assumes it’s her immortal lover shown up to drag her of somewhere safe and scold her for being reckless.