#dazaku

dazai going to far in training. dazai hurting akutagawa as little too much. akutagawa's life ending before it's even began. akutagawa's death being an accident, yes, but a murder all the same. dazai holding his hands over the injury, covered in his subordinate's blood, confused and re-running every second of their session because he should've dodged. he was supposed to dodge! it was an accident. he didn't do it on purpose. and akutagawa is so small in his grasp, so young, so scared in those brief final moments. he didn't mean to!

I ship dazaku but not in the way that's like " I ship them = I think they should be together", no I ship them because I think Akutagawa's feelings toward Dazai do have a romantic layer, and while I don't think Dazai ever has truly reciprocated, I think there was a time where Dazai indulged Akutagawa in his own toxic way out of boredom--Dazai was depressed and numb and bored of life, so he toyed with Akutagawa as a way of trying to muster new feelings within himself and feel a sense of additional control over him.