#dino.

at the very start of every new season there is a feeling of hope that comes along with it. it might be in the gust of wind in autumn or in the sudden rain during summer, something changes and awakens you the feeling that time has passed. along with time comes the feeling of unexpected things that are being aligned with the universe. but there are some constants you ought to keep even as years pass and seasons change. not so you ought but so do you seek. it's important to you that this stays the same. if that's something or someone, either way it's up to you to keep it elevated in your life so it doesn't slip between the cracks of time. for every elaborated act of holding on there must be effort. dongyoung's grip on maintaining his mundane life is extraordinary to say the least. it takes more than just strength, it takes piece by piece of who he is to keep everyone satisfied. lately though, he is been feeling unable. not only is he not happy with what he is but he feels like the person who deserves the most love out of him is the least pleased.

the question on her lips, pulls dongyoung out of his misery and into her warmth. his eyes light up not only to look at her and read her expression but also to understand if she's comforting him out of care or pity. honestly, he doesn't care. either are welcome. it feels like a hug to be asked if he would like something, specially a cup of tea. yes, he would, does she need to even ask? does she know him? is he reading it too much? he probably is, he shouldn't be. he would never question her affection but she has every right to question his. this very train of thought sounds morally wrong and corrupt. he wants to sleep in her arms and forget about himself. instead he holds her kind eyes with a side smile, closes his own to not get lost again and says calmly: "yes, please."

his head then hits the sofa cushion, his body is tired and overwhelmed but he feels some sort of adrenaline as the smell of baby powder hits his nose. he is aware that the baby is sleeping because it's during those small moments of the day that he and stephane can hold a conversation for more than three minutes without being interrupted by responsibilities. although today they didn't talk, he slept on the couch for about two hours and he woke up with stephane reading by his side, the words of the book in front of her held all her concentration. he watched her in silence before speaking up, it felt as if anything he said might break the spell. as he watched her he realized he couldn't see what she was so interested in. she was way too smart, he always knew that. however he struggled with the fact that he might never see what she saw. eventually she gets caught doting her image and she smiles, she mentions the time and asks him if he'd like the a cup of tea and so he wonders alone as she goes to the kitchen.

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it was safe to say dongyoung had never been so nervous. yes, not even on his debut day, the first showcase of his group, or even in the first show of their tour which more than one thousand people attended. then he had a compromise with these people: the fans, his bandmates that became his family, the staff that helped them get where they were and just making it happen itself was already a dream come true so making it really was exciting, fun, and his life purpose. now this moment of his life was destiny. every decision and every circumstance he took led to this. one of the most important, if not the most, of his life: his wedding day.

how he could let his nerves get the best of him wasn't clear, just this morning he was calm and collected like he had always been but it all became too real way too soon. however actual and incredible this day was about to be it didn't come close to the extraordinary realization of knowing he was marrying the love of his life. it was too grand for him to bare it alone, thankfully he wasn't. not only was he surrounded by friends and family but he had just gotten proof that he never once was, in fact, he was about to never be again.

since the very first day, somewhere between a few years or what it felt like just yesterday. he was so glad he wasn't even looking, it only took a look though for him to know he was in love and he only knew of what it meant to fall when he met her. for her his world started spinning for the first time, set in the stars to do when she came. more than where their story began was the one that was about to be written; the one they were gonna cherish forever, the very same they were gonna repeat to their own children someday. he already knew how it would start, right here in their separate rooms getting ready for their big moment, waiting to set in matrimony their destinated days together. happily ever after moments away.

except this was not after yet, it was still now, and right now at the beginning of their journey was dongyoung holding a carefully written letter from stephanie. he could not deny the little silent tears that formed in his eyes when his soon-to-be brother-in-law handed him the letter like they were sharing a family secret, crossing his eyes in an understanding sentiment. he had shared something more precious than that though now that dino came to think of it. holding the letter in his hands, sitting on the far side of the couch, left in his privacy by his friends and family, wearing his perfectly tailored tuxedo like quite nothing he ever wore before thinking over and over again how much he couldn't wait to marry the woman who wrote this.

he read it at least three times to actually understand the meaning of every word and still did not get a single thing properly. he wanted so desperately to embrace that piece of paper with stephanie's thoughts in it, kiss it, but it still wouldn't compare to doing all these things with her. surprisingly there were no more tears in his eyes, only a big beautiful smile. dongyoung gathered himself with a sign of newfound courage, the courage of a man who knew his woman loved him just as much as he did her. saved the letter on the inside pocket of his jacket close to his heart and head of the door. "excuse me, i don't mean to disturb things but i have to see my bride before our wedding." he wanted to be with her, he wanted to see her, hold her hand and kiss her delicate fingers. he wanted to respond to her in a hug, in a kiss, in a sharing devoted gaze. "it won't take long, five minutes." he told them, waiting for someone to arrange something, anything. before forever could begin, he needed the now and now he had to have her here.

if there’s a hell, do you think you’re going there?

out of curiosity, i might, why not? what do i have to lose? i’m already dead so might as well wing it.

what’s the creepiest thing you’ve ever done when you had a crush on?

once i had this crush that i didn’t know what to do, so i brought her a lot of candy and stuff… but her mom found out, forbid her of accepting my stuff because she was getting bad tooth from it and since then we never talked again. i wonder if i should have apologized by getting her a toothbrush.

if you were asked to film a new horror movie, what would the plot be?

why would someone ask me to film a new horror movie, that’s too much pressure. i would probably come up with a hundred different ideas and then finish with none, it would be a terrible movie. one of them would be being left in the world alone, that’s pretty scary, or something to do with mother nature destroying the earth because humans are just dumb… you see? too many ideas, no can do.