Lucien stood on the balcony at the House of Wind and stared out over Velaris. The city of starlight. He had never seen a more beautiful view. He smelled her before he heard her, the telltale sign of the door opening the only sound of her arrival. He knew she wanted him to hear her approach. He had tested that door. It opened silently if you tried. “How are you doing?” She asked quietly, taking up a place at his side. Lucien loosed a sigh. “Its beautiful.” He said instead. She gave him a look. “Feyre.” He started. She waited. “I am- so sorry.” She blinked. This was clearly not when she expected them to have this conversation. But Lucien plowed on. He needed to tell her. To make her understand. “I know- i realize now that I should have been better. That i should have fought more. I fought some- but it wasn't enough.” He looked everywhere but at her. “I regret- i regret my part in your suffering and im glad…” he took a deep breath. “Im glad you ran away. Im glad you left him. Left me. Im glad you found this place with these people.” he made himself meet her eyes. “I am so glad that you have a family. And that you are happy. And i am so sorry for not giving that to you.” Feyre took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently. “Its okay.” She breathed quietly. “I forgive you. I have forgiven you. I never thought- an apology is nice, of course.” she smiled. “But i didn't expect it.” “well you should have.” Lucien said forcefully. “I owe you one. And im sorry.” Feyre smiled lightly. “Okay foxy. I get it. And i forgive you.” Lucien released a breath of relief, sinking down onto the bench that was closest to him. Feyre joined him, their hands still interlaced. “Why didn't you?” Feyre asked quietly. He looked at her. She looked back. “Fight for me.” She elaborated. Lucien ran a hand through his hair. It was a fair question. “I tried.” He whispered miserably. “Everyday i begged Tamlin- begged him. To let me take you on a ride. To let you go to the village. Do anything but sit inside all day and paint.” Lucien shook his head. “But he refused. Time and time again. Before we left i-” he hesitated. “When we were going to come back I had plans to kidnap you.” he said quietly.
“I- i didn't care anymore. You were suffering and so close to breaking and Tamlin was just letting it happen i couldn't-” he cut off, taking a deep breath. “Before we left I made a deal with Alis.” he said quietly. “She was going to put something in your food and make you eat it the night before we got back. And pack all your things in a bag. Then I would excuse myself from Tamlin and grab you, and the supplies that we still had from our excursion. And i would leave.” he swallowed. “I didn't have a plan where to go, or what to do. But i couldn't just let you go on like that. And then… then Rhys happened.” He shook his head. “And i am so glad we left. So that he could find you.” Lucien looked at her. Feyre covered her mouth with one hand, squeezing his with the other. “Lucien.” she breathed, tears in her eyes. He smiled faintly. “Tamlin...” he shook his head. “It was bad. But i am so glad you got out.” He squeezed her hand. “What about the letter?” Feyre asked quietly. But the way she said it he knew the question had been weighing on her. Lucien sighed. “Honestly, until then i thought Rhys had messed with your mind.” He admitted. “But then you sent the letter and… your scent was clearly on it. I begged Tamlin to let it go. That you were happy and that he should be satisfied with that. But he refused. He said that you couldn't read or write. And that rhys had done it. To make us forget you. As if that was ever a possibility.” he scoffed. “He sent me to go looking for you. And forced sentries to go to. We were told not to bother coming back if we didn't have you.” He swallowed. Feyre squeezed his hand tighter. “And when i saw you.” He smiled. “I wanted so badly to take you home. But i also knew i couldn't.” He shrugged. “So we went back.” He turned pale. “Tamlin…” he trailed off, standing abruptly. “Sorry. I shouldn't have- you don't need to hear all this. You were safe and happy here. Are.” he corrected. “Lucien-” Feyre stood and grabbed his arm when he made to leave. “Did he hurt you?” She asked quietly. Lucien swallowed and shook out of her grip. “You're safe and happy here Feyre.” He said. “Don't worry about Tamlin, or what happened in the Spring Court anymore.”
He turned and hurried through the door inside but Feyre followed. She couldn't let him bury this, couldn't let him hide this anymore. They had been friends once. He had been her first, her best friend for a long time. She wanted that back. And she couldn't let him walk away now. Friends didn't let that happen. Lucien hadn't made it far. Rhys stood in the living room, wings present, shadows swirling around his shoulders, murder in his eyes. Lucien slowed and stopped. Cassian and Azriel were seated on the couches nearby, tense, but not entirely sure why. Cass stood as Feyre walked in though, and positioned himself close by. Rhys eyes bored into Luciens. Feyre stepped up next to him and squeezed his hand. Lucien didn't remove his gaze from Rhys, but squeezed back. “Did he hurt you?” Rhys repeated Feyre’s earlier question. Lucien closed his eyes. Az was on his feet in an instant and Cassian let out a strangled noise. “Lucien.” Feyre said softly. Lucien's body trembled. “I loved him.” he whispered. “Everyone I knew, my brothers, my father, my mother, even those who i had come to consider family in the farms of the autumn court, turned against me. And Tam took me in. Gave me a home. A responsibility. Friendship.” he swallowed, eyes still squeezed shut. “But he always demand obedience first, friendship second.” He sniffed. “And it hurt.” He cut off, blinking hard. “I was a lot like you, y'know.” He gestured to Cassian and Azriel. To Rhys. “At first. I teased him. Pushed him. And when hard choices came and I felt he made the wrong one,” Lucien stared at the ground. “I told him.” Lucien shifted, and Feyre could feel his tremors through his hand. She squeezed tighter. “He did not take it as well as you do.” He met Rhys eyes. Azriel removed Truth Teller from its sheath. Lucien shook. “Im going to kill him.” Cassian said, voice low. Something cracked and Feyre turned in surprise to her mate. A broken chair, snapped in half, lay at his feet. Cold, hard rage roiled in his eyes. Lucien shook harder. Feyre gave him a look, but Rhys couldn't rein it in. So cassian did. He pushed his anger aside in favor of comfort, and stepped closer. “Boyo,” he said quietly. Lucien inhaled sharply, unaware he had gotten so close. Cassian placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “We will never touch you.” he swore. “Never. Outside of training of course.” he added with a wink. Lucien managed a weak smile. “You are ours. You are not ever returning to that fucking prick again okay? Ours.” he pressed his forehead against Luciens. “And i swear to you, i swear.” he breathed vehemently. “We will not lay a harsh finger on you. Ever.” Lucien was shaking again, but this was deeper. Less fearful. Feyre released his hand and Cassian enveloped him, his wings splaying slightly as he cocooned them. Lucien broke, a sob ripping from his throat as he clutched at Cassian, sobbing into his shoulder. Cassian held him tighter, never faltering. A rock in this storm. The raw, broken sound, snapped something in Rhys and Az. Some of the anger dimmed from their eyes. Feyre could still see it, raging beneath their skin, but they pushed it aside for Lucien. Choosing to comfort him over gaining revenge for him. They approached slowly, letting their footsteps be heard, and az slowly placed a hand on Lucien's shoulder. The emissary sobbed harder. “I lay claim to you.” Rhys said quietly. “Lucien Vanserra. You belong to the Night Court now. You are a part of our Inner Circle now. You are mine.” a bit of High Lord laced the last few words. “And I swear an oath to you, that none in our Court will ever harm you the way he has. And we will do everything in our power to make sure you are never hurt that way again.” Light flashed, and Feyre glanced down at her forearm. Cassian, Rhys, and Az all did the same. Wrapped around her wrist, a single thin, fiery red tattoo now lay. The same color as Lucien's hair.
