things don't get better, just different

Oh also the bilateral ect is working! I finish twice a week this week and im so much better. Just thought I would update anyone who reads this.

Started bilateral ect on friday and its too early to see any improvements but I'm so afraid it's not going to work. I can't live like this anymore. I just can't do it.

Mental health stigma is going to fucking kill me. And its not fair. Im just sick like anyone else so why do I deserve to suffer just because of the nature of my illness? Why do others deserve a type of gentleness and care that i don't? I'll never understand it.

Reached out for help instead of overdosing on sleeping pills. Which is all fine and good and all but now my parents have my sleeping pills and I still want to overdose. :/

I think i have screwed everything up beyond repair. Alas,

God i wish the OD had FUCKING WORKED

Maybe if I trigger myself hard enough I can get my anorexia back and actually lose some fucking weight