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Why I Say I’m ADtistic Instead of an AuDHDer

First of all, I was diagnosed as ADHD first; why does Autism get to go in the front? Jokes aside, sort of, the other reasons are the multiple spellings and pronunciations:

Spelling

AuDHD(er)

AUDHD(er)

AUdhd(er)

Pronunciation

A-U-DHD(er)

AW-D-HD(er)

If I missed any, it proves my point. With ADtistic (A-D-tistic)… that’s it, unless someone wants to be a smartass. ADtistic is easier to remember. In addition, AuDHD(er) / AUDHD(er) / AUdhd(er), while creative, is too much of a mouthful and takes too long to say, anyway you wanna say it. And typing/writing it is annoying. ADtistic, however, has the same “ring” Autistic does. “I don’t ‘have’ Autism; I’m Autistic.” “I don’t ‘have’ ADHD and Autism; I’m ADtistic.” Inversely: “I don’t ‘have’ ADHD and Autism; I’m an A-U-DHDer/AW-D-HDer/Any I missed.” Also, saying “I’m ADtistic” will, probably, prompt the question, “Don’t you mean autistic?” which creates a teachable moment. Or the opportunity to be a smartass, if that’s your thing. Lastly, more of a sidenote, since every language is made up, and new words are being made up for them on a regular basis and/or being redefined, when only talking about ADHD, I say, “I’m ADHD” instead of “I’m an ADHDer.”

I am ADHD. I am Autistic. I am ADtistic.

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Well, this is all for today! Thank you for reading! May every decision you make be in the spirit of fairness and may the rest of your day NOT go to $#!7!

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Friday, March 15, 2024

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How to Explain the Fluidity of Needs Based on Energy Levels

Neurodivergent community, I have figured out a way to explain the fluidity of our needs based on our energy levels. Although, if one thinks about it, it applies to everyone. Imagine everyone has a Stamina/Energy Bar above their heads; we’ll use the color Yellow to represent the stamina available, and Grey to represent the stamina used. And every task, every action, has a set amount, a number, assigned to it. Now imagine every time someone picks up their bag, turns their head, moves in any way, speaks, does ANYTHING, the yellow area either steadily shrinks, or drops all at once to a specific point, while the rest of the bar it is greyed out. Now imagine when someone eats, drinks, sleeps, relaxes, RESTS, the yellow area of the bar steadily increases over time, shrinking the grey area. But what happens if we use all our energy during the day? Or go into the negative? If we don’t recoup stamina/energy throughout the day and while sleeping, then our Stamina Bar, going into the next day, is mostly greyed out. If there’s any yellow at all. We could have pushed the grey area past 0, into the negative. Now, because we’re either running on empty, or borrowing from tomorrow, tasks we could easily do yesterday cannot be done today, or they’re done “half-assed”, because we don’t have the Stamina to do them “properly”. We’d need more REST to replenish our stamina. We’d either need to INCREASE the size of the yellow area of the Stamina Bar and/or DECREASE the size of the grey area to bring us above 0. If we borrow too much of tomorrow, if we extend the grey area of the Stamina Bar too far past 0, it WILL cause burn out. AND irreparable damage if done too often and/or if we’re burnt out, in the negative, past 0, for too long.

”This is so unappealing.”

"What were they thinking?”

“I wouldn't give this to anyone.”

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How to Communicate with the Neurodivergent: A Quick Guide

Saturday, December 16, 2023

1. Don’t assume negative intent. 2. Don’t focus on HOW it was said, focus on WHAT. Many of the neurodivergent can’t identify what tone they’re supposed to use NOR what tone they’re using. 3. Don’t respond to your INTERPRETATION of what was said; ACKNOWLEDGE what was ACTUALLY said and go from there. 4. Don’t look for subtext; there is none. 5. Don’t comment on the lack of eye contact and/or on their movements if you want them to be able to pay attention. 6. Take what was said at face value.

Conclusion

Items 1 and 6 are the most important, which is why they are placed where they are; build-up.

Assuming negative intent and then acting upon said assumption will only lead to misunderstandings, ruin relationships, and, potentially, traumatize the neurodivergent individual who is already doing everything they can to not be understood.

Don’t. React. Get clarification. We will tell you our intent.

Well, this is all the education for today! Thank you for reading!

May every decision you make be *in the spirit of fairness* and may the rest of your day *NOT go to $#!7*!

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