#deomon

The Neon Demon: “La bellezza non è tutto. È l’unica cosa”

Il mondo della moda è come una gabbia piena di animali feroci e anche la creatura più docile è costretta ad affilarsi le unghie per proteggersi dagli attacchi. In The Neon Demon questa situazione viene amplificata al massimo. Titolo: The Neon Demon Anno: 2016 Regia: Nicolas Winding Refn Paese: Stati Uniti Voto: ★★★★✩ “The Neon Demon” è un film del 2016 scritto e diretto da Nicolas Winding Refn.…

“Damn it DA, can’t you go faster?” I asked.

“There is no way in hell I’m going to risk crashing my mom’s car.” DA said. “She may be gone but she’ll still kill me.”

I sighed. DA was right. We all knew how scary his mom can be. I turned to Matt and saw he was examining his gun. DA’s cousin (the live one that is) was giving me the evil eye in rear view mirror. Man, you try to kill someone and suddenly they hate you. Then again I’ve seen Dean get that mad. Maybe she’s on her period.

“Hey Cassidy are you on your period.” I asked.

“Oh that is it!” She unbuckled her seatbelt and tried to climb into the back. Jayde quickly grabbed her and forced her back into her seat.

“Come on David.” Matt said. “Did you even think about that?”

“Yeah.” He said. “I was just asking a simple question. Not my fault she’s sensitive.”

“Okay, new rule.” DA said. “No one talks until we get there.”

“Hate to tell you, but we’re already here.” We saw the gaping mouth that oozed blood and demons, like it was something straight out of hell… oh yeah that’s right.

“Okay everyone, we need a game plan.” Matt said. “How do we fix this?” We all sat there in silence, trying to think. Suddenly, we heard a thump on the roof.

“Did anyone else hear that?” Cassidy asked.

“If this was a movie,” I said, “then that would be a monster about to tear through the roof.”

“I got this.” Matt said. He cocked his gun and started to shoot through the roof. After a few shots we heard an unhuman squeal. A figure dropped to the left side of the car. Everyone got out to see what it was. The only thing is, we didn’t get the chance. All that was left of it was some red smoke.

“At least that makes clean up easier.” Cassidy said.

We all looked up to see a giant spire coming down from the blood drooling mouth in the sky.

“Kind of looks like it’s giving the world a blowjob.” I said laughing.

“That would be less dangerous but more disturbing.” Matt said.

“Enough talk, let’s go.” DA said. I’ve never seen him this serious before. In fact, he’s speech sounds more normal too. Usually he can barely enunciate a single word but now I can understand him clearly. I turned to Cassidy and saw giving DA a weird look. Obviously there was something I was missing. I turned to Matt. He looked at me and shrugged. What was with those two?

“Yo, DA, you all right?” I called.

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” He called back, still walking. “Now hurry up, you’re slowing us down.”

“Not good.” Cassidy said.

“What exactly is going on?” Matt asked.

Cassidy sighed. “Cuz has always had a unique connection with spirits. Being this close to hell is starting to affect him.”

“Are you saying he might be turning after all?” Matt asked.

“No, DA’s strong.” Cassidy said with a hint of worry in her voice. “It won’t take him over… it’ll make it harder for him to control himself.”

“Control himself?” I asked.

“When DA said our family is insane… he wasn’t joking.”

“Wait, what?” I asked.

“We all have strong wills so we can control ourselves, but like I said, being this close to hell makes it hard for him to control himself. If I had as a strong connection with the spirit world as DA, I’d be going insane too.”

“Should we be worried?” Matt asked.

Cassidy just remained silent. We all looked at each other awkwardly. Matt cocked his gun and started to catch up to DA. Cassidy and me followed. As long as I’ve known DA, he’s always been the kindest guy possible. He even made friends with the school bullies. Sure I knew he was the top student in his karate class and that he was pretty good with a sword, but I never thought he would be anything near the definition of mean. If this place can make DA like this, god knows what else we’re in for. This went from exciting, to terrifying.

  We finally stopped in front of the spire. We all looked around a little bit.

“Kind of expected something to happen once we got here.” I said. Cassidy looked over at me and her eyes widened.

“Look out!” she shouted. With lightning speed she ran over to me, picked me up and moved me about ten feet back from where I was. When she set me down I looked at where I was standing a second ago and saw a sword in its place.

“Whew.” I said. “Thank god for super speed. Thanks.”

“NP.” She said. Did she just say “No Problem” in gamer? Guess DA and Cassidy are more alike than I thought.

“Above!” DA shouted.

We all looked up but saw nothing.

“Matt, gun!” DA shouted again. Matt tossed DA his gun and DA took it. Hey aimed up and fired. We heard an unholy scream. DA tossed the gun back to Matt who took it and readied it. Slowly, a tall figure with skeletal legs, man’s torso, and a goat head appeared in the sky.

“The hell is that?” I asked. “Some kind of circus act?”

“Ehehehe!” It said in a creepy voice. “What do we have here? Some stragglers? Ehehehehe. You’ll make a fine feast for me. Ehehehe!”

“This is the Arch Demon eh?” Matt said, aiming his gun. “I’m not impressed.” He cocked his gun. “Zeit zu sterben, Schlampe!” he started to fire his pistol like it was a machine gun, with hundreds of bullets coming out every second. The demon quickly flew away, dodging the bullets. Jayde wraped her arms around DA and flew him up into the air. She stopped right in front of the demon as DA raised his leg.

“Anata ga tsumori dokoda omoimasu ka?” DA said as his leg came down, sending the demon plummeting towards the Earth.

“Tak' this ye pumpin' demon!” Cassidy shouted as she ran up and uppercut the demon before it hit the ground.

“Don’t forget me!” I shouted as I tossed a bomb from the legend of Zelda. Cassidy got out of the blast range within a split second.

We all quickly regrouped together.

“Am ah th' ainlie yin wha thought that wis tae easy?” Cassidy asked

“Naze anata wa kimyō hanaseru ka?” DA said.

“Sind Sie auch Englisch sprechen?” Matt said.

“Uhh, what’s wrong with you guys? I asked. “Did you hit your heads a little too hard or something?”

“Ah ken. Thae aren't even speaking sassenach. Whit's gaun oan 'ere?” Cassidy said.

I looked at everyone and they just gave each other weird looks. “You guys don’t even realize you’re doing it, do you?” I asked.

“This is so weird.” DA said.

“Hey, you can speak English again.” Matt said.

“Same goes for you.” Cassidy said.

“Ehehehe!” we heard a voice. “Connecting to the life of your deceased ancestors won’t help you. This world shall burn! Ehehehehe!”

The demon appeared out of thin air.

“Still not dead?!” I said.

“It’s a demon.” DA said. “It’s going to be kind of tuff to kill.”

“Now die! Ehehehe!” We all tried to get into battle stances but tentacles came out of the ground and wrapped around us quickly. We couldn’t move and they felt like they were crushing us.

“I’ve seen plenty of hentai,” I said, “and I wish for any of that over this… okay maybe not any of it but at least half.”

“Ehehehehe!” the demon raised a huge, muscly arm to strike us. The arm grew larger and larger until it was big enough to crush all of us. “Goodbye, Lords and Saviors!”

As the demon lowered his arm, we heard a loud bang. The demon’s arm froze in place. Its arm slowly disintegrated as it screamed. The tentacles holding us slowly let up. We all looked at the building behind the demon to see a guy standing on the roof with a sniper rifle.

“Hey!” he shouted. “Don’t I get a thank you for saving your asses?”

“No way!” Matt said.

“The hell took you so long!” DA said.

The man jumped down from the building and landed softly. A woman slowly followed him. The man’s gun quickly morphed into an assault rifle. He aimed at the demon and pulled the trigger but no it didn’t fire. He looked at the girl behind him. “Hey, babe.” He said. The girl behind him picked up a piece of metal and kissed it. She smiled and handed it to the man. He kissed the metal where she kissed it and smiled. The man then gripped the metal tightly and it began to shrink and morph. When he let off the pressure, it had turned into an ammo clip that he quickly put into his gun. “Let’s see how you like some ice rounds.” He said as he started shooting at the demon. The demon cried in pain as parts of it’s body froze and then thawed off. The demon took off into the sky.

“Another one!” the demon shouted.

“Qual è il problema? Paura?” The man said. He walked over to the rest of us. He held up his hand. “Che succede ragazzi?”

“’Sup Trenton.” Matt said, giving him a high five.

“Good to see you.” DA said. Shaking his hand.

“Matt, Dean, how the hell did you guys almost die?” he asked.

“We got a little cocky and thought it was dead.” Matt admitted.

DA turned to the rest of us. “You guys, this is Trenton. A friend of ours from school.”

“Nice to meat ya.” He said. “This is my girl, Eve.” The girl from before walked up and kissed Trenton.

“Heus. Occurrit vobis nice.” She said.

“She speaks Latin.” Trenton said. “How cool is that?”

“I always knew you’d find a girl after the world ended.” DA said.

“And you still haven’t. Guess I have better luck than you Dean.” Trenton said. The demon reappeared behind Trenton and was about to attack but he held his gun behind him and shot it in the head without looking. The demon fell to the ground and turned into red smoke. “So, you going to introduce me to everyone?” he asked.

“That was awesome!” Cassidy said. “I’m Cassidy, DA’s cousin.”

“And I’m David.” I said. “DA and Matt’s friend.”

“Looks like there’s quite a few of us who are still here.” He said. “That’s a good sign.”

I saw a cloud of red smoke appearing behind Cassidy. “Cassidy watch-” before I could get out the words, the demon reappeared behind Cassidy and stabbed her some kind of black smoke. She opened her mouth to scream but was in too much pain to let anything out. The smoke disappeared and Cassidy fell to the ground.

“Cassidy!” DA shouted. He ran over to her and bent down next to her, ignoring the fact the demon was right in front of him.

“Crap, Dean!” Trenton said. We all started to run to him but Jayde got in front of us and we stopped. She didn’t want us any closer, but why?

“Ehehehehe!” The demon laughed. “Ehehehehe! You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you? Ehehehehe! Ehehehehe!”

“You bastard!” DA said.

“Cuz… calm down… please” Cassidy struggled to say. “I’m fine… somehow…” she was right, there was barely any blood and the wound looked like it was closing slowly.

DA’s breathing got faster and faster.

“Ehehehe! What’s the matter? Is the little mortal going to cry?”

DA suddenly stopped breathing. A bone chilling breeze came through the air. “No one, and I mean no one, lays a single fucking hand on my family. Not without forfeiting their lives!” A huge burst of energy came from DA. It knocked the demon back ten feet and knocked the rest of us off of our feet.

I quickly got back up to see DA standing up. He was still wearing his trench coat and fedora, but on his fedora he had goggles, and on his shirt he had a clock with an hourglass where the hands should be.