âYouâre scaring me. I have this weird feeling youâre going to leave.â
studio ghibli starters continued . / *.
MAY 14TH â 1878, 11th year of Meiji . A day none realized would hold weight, but he knew. He always knew, half-hoping not to, that fragile hope, fragile dream.
 Perhaps he knew the possible answer long before the news would come to him merely hours later of Lord Okuboâs assassination mid-stride to his manor . It was something that could no longer be avoided, and for the rurouni who was once a hitokiri who sided with affairs, this time he would face his past unlike ever beforeâ and people were already involved.
Would Kenshin be able if truly needed, to resist the blatant emergence of the BattĆsai who like Jin-e, had surfaced when a life was threatened? He was no longer sure.
Could he resist even her? Close his heart to her like when they first met? Could he bear it? The possibility? The now precious life who repeated his name when he did not answer the first time? His humming did not match the cloudy, inscrutable look in his eyes when she first met him.Â
It did not match the look of the âmanslayerâ who had taken residence in his body as the darkest reaches of him the very night before. In a dojo that had begun to felt like something now he may never be able to give words âŠÂ
The shame and grief he felt at what had inevitably come to pass, as he had feared, was immeasurable. He had involved once again, people that Kenshin had grown to love. The selfish dream and manifestation of an âordinary swordsmanâs lifeâ under the Kamiya Dojoâs roof was beginning to slip out of his fingers, as was any chance at happiness.
But Kenshin remembered people who did what he had done didnât deserve happiness, nor the concerned, caring blue eyes of Kaoru who tugged on his long ponytail with gentle force.Â
His hand quietly reached to touch her forehead in a display of seamless lightness; his smile bright and distant to all.Â
â ORO? Kaoru-dono? Are you feeling ill? He apologizes for the ruckus he caused last night, but has something have you feeling unease? â
 The blatant obliviousness which he played at like a master flowed from his lips; a lying tongue to shield her from the immeasurable burden and heaviness, the agony that lay in his soul. As did the undeniable truth: He hadnât changed.Â
 And that was something almost unbearable to even wash Kenshinâs hands in the laundry with; acting like he was normal when he wasnât, he never would be. No matter how much they played at things, the hitokiri within him coiled like an angry beast, fangs bared with that same rage of ten years past - and not even Kaoru could reach him this time.Â
â Time has begun to flow once more ⊠. âÂ
He thought with pain; smiling gently and for a brief second as distantly as when they first met, as if tasting the feeling of âgoodbyeâ that he tried desperately to withhold. He felt it in his gut, the battle with the Wolf of Mibu had proven that, had it not?Â
As it was now, no one would be safe with him - theyâd only be in danger and he could only protect them all so much now, couldnât he.Â
Kenshin kept smiling at her as he rose from his feet for the brief moment of privacy they would have. All the while sensed the various auras of their friends coming to likely hound him not to go for Okubo.
â Thatâs a hasty thing to say, Kaoru-dono, isnât it? This humble self is only leaving to meet with Okubo-dono and see what he wants . Itâs highly unlikely that he should truly need a mere rurouni  in this day and age.  âÂ
But you arenât really are you? Arenât you just like back then? The immortal legend and monster of the past now coming back to taint all you love? Arenât you?Â
And you thought you could be happyâŠÂ
â This one is most grateful you are concerned for him, but there is no cause for worry. Please do not concern yourself too much with him. He will be alright, it is only a meeting after all. If you donât, then youâll be worrying a bit too much, wonât you? â
 His fingers briefly ghosted her wrist, after all something told him it would likely be the last time despite the vestiges of hope  he clung to in a bleeding heart long since broken like the rest of him.
â Letâs go greet them, Kaoru-dono . He has to arrive early, after all . If not heâll come back late, he will. â Turning his back on her gently, red hair swaying briskly behind him at a gentle pace of his sandals; the inwardly tormented soul now split once again..opened the gate to greet their friends for what he could not deny the possibility of it being the last time.Â
â Time has begun to flow once more ⊠. âÂ
He felt her eyes upon his back.He felt her ki begin to drop as further fear mounted in it.He felt her hurt  at his gentle yet impenetrable shield from himself and the world.He felt the terror of what he could become - what he had become once more, teetering on the edges of his very soul â He felt the very real threat to losing what an ordinary, peaceful life must have felt like, again.
âAh, good morning! It seems everyoneâs here rather early, and with such frowns, they are! This  is a rather dark greeting for such a bright day, he wonders why? â
â âŠStanding stillâŠis no longer permitted. â
