#rainmeter

He's the most beautiful man ever!!! omg I love him so much!!!! (*≧∇≦)♡♡♡♡

credits of the art:

* xochibunsai (every small jeff/pink jeff/jeff on the center)

* dangerbizz (big jeff on the right)

video quality SUCKS sorry chat💔 but anyway look at this thingamajig this IDIOT ( @ballistatxt ) made for me!!!

Hello…as mentioned last week I decided to wait until Monday to write and post this as yesterday as my graduation ceremony! I have a lot of big feelings about this week, while I always attempt to find the perfect word to use when it comes to explaining my emotions, I am at a loss for words this time. Nothing more than WOW works, just wow. Let’s start from the beginning of the week though! The build up if you will!

First…I figured out Rainmeter! Kinda! I wanna play around with it more so I can make my own theme, the current one I’m using is by heavenaid on Deviantart! I wanna make my own themes soon like a Black Butler one or a Wolf’s Rain one! That would be so much fun! I also added all my music to my media player so I just listen to that when I’m on the computer instead of streaming, I know it might sound weird to not want technological distractions while I’m on the computer but I just want to go with the flow of music more rather than scrolling until I find the one song I want! Plus I mainly just write on the computer now since I’m done with my bachelors program.

Recently I’ve been replaying Fire Emblem: Awakening! While this game is very nostalgic and fun my biggest critique will always be its length. It’s so fucking short 😭. Like I understand they believed this would be the last fire emblem game so they were on a bit of a tight schedule but it makes me so sad that it’s such a short game especially in comparison to other fire emblem games that would come after. I love Awakening cause of the gameplay and characters, while Fates has similar gameplay I’m not nearly as attached to the characters there! Shadows of Valentia is incredible and I adore the characters but it’s marginally more complex than either game so it’s not something I can casually play like awakening. I also think a longer game could have made the story far more engaging but I am very happy Awakening exists in any capacity…

Tuesday was my final day of class and it was very emotional. It was my queer studies class and everyone was really sad it was over…while I was emotional I was a bit relieved. I loved the class but I always felt like I was out of place there. I don’t know, I put a lot of work into making connections with others even if they’ll only last a semester but I feel like people look at me like I’m a freak. Like yeah I am really weird but I don’t walk up to people and start infodumping about yaoi!!! I swear it!!! But anyways since it was my last day of class my mom and I went to a bakery we like called 85 degrees. She got a Vietnamese coffee and I got a matcha latte…we ended up trading our drinks since I didn’t like the matcha and she didn’t like the Vietnamese coffee.

But even more importantly, on my final day on campus as a student, I ran into one of my best friends…EINSTEIN!!! CSUN has a feral cat colony, all the cats are TNR (trap, neutered/spayed, released) and most of them are incredible friendly. Einstein was my favorite and he’d always greet me after every class. But this semester I hadn’t seen him once and most people I mentioned him to either didn’t know him or said he may have passed on. Einstein is an older cat so I wasn’t surprised if he did pass on…but as I was exiting Maple Hall, there he was. Sitting there and receiving tons of attention from my classmates only to immediately move from them and come over to me when he saw me. It breaks my heart that I’ll never see him again, I gave him a ton of pets and hugged him, then when I said goodbye and started walking back to my car…HE STARTED FOLLOWING ME! I was a bit surprised so I stopped walking, thinking that he was just walking in the same direction. But nope! He was escorting me back to my car! I legit started crying over that, while it was beyond tempting to grab him and take him home I held myself back. Einstein is feral, while he’s super friendly he wouldn’t enjoy living inside, he’s taken care of wonderfully by the CSUN staff and students alike. He’s ten years old but I know that old timer has a lot more life in him. Thank you for giving me such a send off, Einstein!

Now let’s jump from Tuesday to the weekend…it was my third year anniversary with @diced-sugar this Saturday…she’s incredible, everything about her makes my heart skip, I cry when I can’t be around her because she makes my life so much better just by existing in it. I love her with my entire soul, I’m not really religious but I know we’ve met before, in another lifetime, since the beginning of time we’ve been interlinked. We were the two atoms that made contact and started this whole mess, we were once Indohyus’s together, deciding that land was too scary and returning to the sea together. We’ve been cats sunning under the pantheon and wolves running through the Sequoias and now we exist as two girls who love using tumblr and talking about yaoi. I wouldn’t want any other partner in this lifetime or the next. Thank you for being my girl, Miranda. We got these cutesy ass boba drinks together…look at em…

Literally the day after my incredible anniversary was my graduation. Oh my god it was a lot, very stressful…but I did it. I’m officially a CSUN graduate and I have a BA in English Literature!!! When I first got to campus I was not feeling well and honestly I wouldn’t be for the entire day until after the grad ceremony. It wasn’t even nerves I was just starting my period and hadn’t had any water since 12 and the last food I ate in the morning was a croissant. It wasn’t even like those huge ones that Costco sells it was an average sized croissant. But I ran into my friend Megan at the ceremony so we sat together! And before I met up with my gf and her mom I saw this critter! So cute!

They tried to take a cute drone video of the graduates but they fucking flew the drone into a tree. It wasn’t even windy, I have no idea how they managed to do that but they did. It felt very on brand. CSUN is an incredible institution but little mishaps like that are always fucking happening, everyone in my row was having a great time laughing at the drone, myself included. I don’t have any photos of myself in my cap and gown but I already know I didn’t look good! And that’s okay, I practically tore that stuff off when I got to the car. My girlfriend and her mom immediately went home since they were tired but my mom, my godmother, and I went out to Korean bbq. It was delicious and I ate way more than I normally ever do at KBBQ. But at one point they brought us out a frozen steak and I was so tired that I just started laughing at the absurdity of it. They did come back and apologized about the frozen steak and offered us free alcohol so we now have a bottle of peach soju in the house lol.

On the drive home I was so exhausted and cramps were starting up so I coped in the only way I knew how, music. Wolf’s Rain isn’t on my iPod yet so I’ll be adding it today actually! I love the OST so much…but instead I just kept listening to Are One until I felt sickkkkkkk. Then I kept scrolling through songs, determined to not fall asleep in the car! And I succeeded! I didn’t want to fall asleep since I had contacts in 🥲

This week has been a lot, I’m typing this in bed while drinking green tea, I’m gonna brew myself another cup of it in just a minute since green tea and raspberry tea help with cramps, but I don’t want raspberry tea yet. My cat Sasha has cuddled me a bunch this morning and I’m holding onto my Chococat plush while I lay here…it feels so surreal that I’m a graduate now. I’ve suffered from BPD my whole life and it’s often been the cause of my depression, my depression has been so bad at times that I never thought I’d make it to this day, I have passed so many milestones I thought I’d never reach because I planned to be dead by the time they rolled around. I’m not going to act like I’m healed or no longer feel miserable, but I feel slightly better each time I pass such a big event in my life. Later this year I’ll be reaching another incredible milestone, making it to 23 years old, yaoi Jesus’s age! In all seriousness I didn’t think I’d make it past 18, let alone to 23. It’s scary when you’ve lived like this, you feel lost when you do make it to the next milestone, but I know I’ll be okay. I have a good feeling about it.

Now…let’s talk music and videos! YEAAAAAAAAH!

I have been obsessed with the Wolf’s Rain OST ever since I started rewatching the show with my girlfriend. It’s fucking incredible. While I listen to all the songs a lot and I rlly love the intro song, Stray, I wanted to highlight the second track in Wolf’s Rain, Rakuen. It’s so cute and romantic and hopeful, it’s actually fantastic.

Next is another track from Wolf’s Rain…my little flower. So because I’m a NERD I told my gf I want at least one silly nerdy song played at our wedding, while I think we both still want Crystalline by Kanako Itou, I’d be really happy with my little flower as a song to play for a slow dance or waltz…it’s so cute and romantic and it reminds me of Miranda cause she’s a pretty little flower I want to protect.

Three songs cause it’s been a big week! I have fully returned to loving Black Butler even if it means sighing or rubbing my head every time something stupid or really weird happens. I think Yana Toboso is such an interesting lady…but I really love the newest intro for the Emerald Witch Arc! It’s really addicting but imo it’s the type of song that grows on you. The first time I heard it I was like “eh it’s fine” and now I’m like “this is the best song ever!”

I watched so many videos this week but this one by Broey Deschanel stood out to me. I really didn’t like Saltburn and felt like it was more style over substance but even then that’s a generous statement. It’s style looks catered towards Pinterest boards and while of course some of my favorite films are heavily aesthetic (Moulin Rouge is literally a feast for the eyes and one of the most aesthetically pleasing movies I’ve ever seen but I feel that it’s so aesthetic that it becomes campy), but Saltburn felt like it saw stills from Euphoria and decided it wanted to be plastered on a teenagers wall next to an image of Jules and Rue in bisexual lighting. But most people I’ve talked to regarding the film really liked it, I felt a bit like I was being a Debby downer but seeing others critique it did make me feel less insane about thinking it was mid! This video by Deschanel not only goes into why the aesthetics of the movie fail but also how the “homoerotism” is surface level and nothing more, done for aesthetics rather than meaningful commentary.

The music player is called WACUP, and I used rainmeter for the images of Doe :3

Windows: Rainmeter

Rainmeter Skins

Rainmeter | Deviantart

r/Rainmeter

Rainmeter is where I get nifty desktop widgets (skins). There are a ton of skins online and you can spend hours just getting caught up in customizing. There are clocks, disk information, music visualizers, weather widgets*, and more.

I get most of my skins from the links I posted, but they are by no means the only resources for Rainmeter skins. r/Rainmeter and Deviantart have some awesome inspiration.

This is what my desktop looks like right now:

Dock: Dock 2 v1.5

Icons: icons8 - this is probably the best free resource for icons I know of

"Good Evening [name]": Simple Clean

Clock: Simplony

* Note about weather widgets: Older Rainmeter skins that use old weather APIs will likely not work. The Rainmeter forums has information with lists of weather skins that do work.

Windows: Useful Things for Workflow

Flow Launcher - this is basically a search bar, app launcher, and even easy-access terminal all in one. The default hotkey is Alt+Space. I use this almost primarily to do quick calculations. There are a ton of plugins and I've barely scratched the surface with how I use it.

ShareX - This is my screenshot tool and I love it. Admittedly, I find it difficult to configure, but once I had it set up, I didn't really have to adjust it. You can create custom hotkeys to screenshot your entire screen, or to select your screen, or even use OCR. This has saved me a ton of time copying over text in images and making it searchable.

Bonus - Get Rid of Windows Web Search in the Start Menu: If you're comfortable with editing your registry, and you want to get rid of the pesky web results in Windows search, this fix is what I used to get rid of it.

Android: Nova Launcher

This is my main Android launcher that I've been using for almost as long as I've owned a smartphone, and it's super customizable. The best part is that it's free with no ads, and you can purchase premium at a one-time cost.

The main things I use it for are app drawer tabs, renaming apps, hiding apps, and changing the icons.

I've had premium for so long that I've forgotten what the features were, but looking at the website, the one feature I use is app folders.

This is what my phone homescreen and app drawers look like:

Time/Weather: Breezy Weather

Calendar: Month: Calendar Widget (I got this on sale for like 30 cents once but there are a plethora of good calendar apps out there)

Icons: Whicons - White Icon Pack

Advanced Customization

Further things to enhance your customization experience to look into include:

Flashing a custom Android ROM (e.g. LineageOS)

Give up on Windows & install Linux instead (Ubuntu is a good one to start with)

Android app modification: ReVanced apps (includes Tumblr), Distraction Free Instagram

Miscellaneous notes under the cut: